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Chapter Thirty Six~ When Darkness Falls |
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I woke up with a fuzzy feeling in my head. I groaned as pressed the back of my hand to my forehead.
Why did he bother any more?
I rolled onto my side, a small wave of nausea making my vision spin. I let it adjust and my eyes fell upon him.
I moaned and rolled back over. I don’t want to talk to him right now.
“Anako, stop this.”
“Make me.”
“Do you enjoy hurting me?”
Now I’m awake.
“What!?” I hissed, bolting up and spinning to face him.
His icy blue eyes narrow, Lariel knows I heard him.
This moment of clarity passes and the world turns on it’s side. I fall back, wincing at the terrible migraine building.
But who cares.
“You’re being ridiculous! Why are still going down there! You forbid me from interfering yet you go and try to kill yourself every morning! How am I suppose to stay away!?” He vents. I guess he has the right to do that.
“You could always just go away, then you won’t have to worry.”
He looks taken aback. I see frustrated tears start to well up in his eyes. He steps closer and sits on the edge of the bed.
“I can’t. You’re my brother, I can’t go away.” He whispers.
“I’ll never be fine again.”
He nods but I can still see him wanting to reject that.
“I have to go to him. I won’t stop until he’s ready cross over. Even if I have to spend an eternity there.” I tell him and gently lay my hand over his.
He nods and turns more my way.
“But why? You didn’t know that you’d do that when you revived him?” He said softly, partially blaming himself for putting Rhyns in that predicament.
“Because I didn’t stay.” I said simply.
“Because you didn’t stay.” He laughs bitterly. “You have broken the record for longest to stay with a person under going that. 28 hours of being yelled at, of hearing them call out for death. You took 28 hours of your precious Rhyns being tortured from the inside out.” He shook his head at me. “I could barely stand the 12 I was with you.”
He fell silent, his memories engulfing him. He sobbed and covered his face with his hands.
I eased myself up and draped my heavy limbs over him.
“It would have been easier if you hated me.” He sobbed turning into my chest. “If you would have screamed at me I would have screamed back. However even in such unbearable pain, such agony you couldn’t turn yourself against me. You’re heart and mind trusted me so much, you loved me…” He gasped and cried.
I felt the tears stinging at my eyes too. Here my younger brother was wishing his and my situation were reversed.
I could have stayed with Rhyns if he was merely screaming and calling for death. If he was blaming everything else I could have stayed but instead he turned on me. I could feel the resent pouring from him. I could see in his eyes he bitterly hated me.
I cried now too, rest my head on his hunched shoulders.
He clung to me, wishing this moment was never happening. He wishes that I had Rhyns mentality and heart.
He wishes I could have resented him, blamed him for the aching in my joints, the pain that will flare up my arm. He wishes I didn’t understand the bigger picture.
He wishes I were Rhyns and I wish I were he.
I pushed him back, dragging my bare arm across my face, wiping off the tears.
“I need to save some for later.”
He nods at this then shakes his head fervently.
“Stop it. You’re killing me.” He begged, his hands taking my own.
I shook my head at him.
I can’t abandon Rhyns to this life I forced onto him. He didn’t want it; he didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve me walking into his life and forcing him to forfeit everything.
“I can live with my life destroyed but I can’t live with him destroyed.” I tell him, carefully standing.
I stumble and catch myself on the wall.
Lariel’s arms suddenly snake around my waist, folding over my chest.
“If that were me down there would you do this?” He asked into my back.
“Even if I wasn’t the one that hurt you, yes. Of course brother, I would never give up on you either.” I take his hands and bow my head.
He too meant so much to me. It hurts being around him because I can see his pain so clearly. I can see how much I hurt him.
I bring one of his hands to my lips and gently kiss the back of his hand then his palm.
“Don’t give up me yet either, brother.” I whispered and stumbled out.
My legs hurt and my back felt bruised but it didn’t matter. Rhyns is more important. He’s waiting for me.
I slowed to a halt at the top of the Obsidian Staircase. I waited here after I fled from him. I couldn’t just run away completely but I couldn’t stay there either.
Every time he stopped screaming I was on my feet and running back down. However minutes later his mournful wail would start back up and drive me back up.
I touched the threshold with my fingertips, paying homage to my cowardice.
I hold in the tears as I slowly descend the obsidian stairs. I slide against the smooth wall as I walk.
My knee was badly messed up last time and getting thrown into that chair didn’t feel too good on my back. I think I might have split a backbone.
My vision blurs again and a biting pain courses up my back.
I merely laugh.
This is nothing! Rhyns is in pain, Rhyns has been put through the worst and had to still endure more.
I shouldn’t even be standing here. I should have died in Rhyns’ stead. He deserves more.
I stopped when I stood a few steps above the sea of green mist. The chalky circle was covered by the rampant green.
I had broken the spell when I gave up on living. I had forfeit it’s magic when I came into and lay down where Rhyns had been once.
I stared up at the ceiling then let my eyes fall shut. My back sent of pangs of fire and acid and my knee was block of unmoving ice.
However, nothing matters any more. I don’t matter any more. Only helping Rhyns matters, even if I destroy myself so completely I cannot be revived it won’t matter.
I’ll never give up on Rhyns.
I tensed as I felt a delicate touch on my cheek. My eyes snapped open and whipped around.
The cold, icy touch still lingered but no hand was present.
“Rhyns…” I murmured my voice cracking apart at the seams.
Slowly he pulls himself from the hellish dimension his soul his partially submerged in. I was invading his zone. The emotional scar was so strong I could always sense him.
He had so scarred my home that every infinite could feel his presence.
I staggered to my feet, trying to force my body into a strait, unhurt posture; every time it got harder and harder to do so.
He laughed a silent laugh, his eyes burning with pure enmity and disgust. I averted my eyes and mouthed my apology again.
“I never meant for this. Do what you want it is exactly as I deserve!” I scream at him, a few of my tears escaping early.
He makes no moves and turn my head.
Suddenly something crashes into my chest, hands digging into my lungs and bursting out my back.
I gasp and feel the blood ejected from my mouth. I gag and cough up blood as it pours into my torn lungs. My blurred vision of course falls to my chest.
There, protruding from my chest were Rhyns’ hands. I followed the arms up to his face.
The look in his eyes told me I wasn’t even half way through for today.
I didn’t care. I tried to hold back the wracking coughs. I didn’t want him to stop on my behalf.
He tears his hands free, showering himself and the floor with glistening splotches of silver.
I stagger, trying to find something to support me. His arms had been the only things keeping me up.
Before my balance was completely lost had slammed me in the chest again, smashing me into the obsidian floor.
My back crunches and pops painful and my skull cracks against the floor, my vision flooding with colour and bursts of visible pain.
As the haze filled vision slowly comes back to me I see his anger contorted face.
“I’m so sorry.” I moan, my body just going limp as he rakes his clawed hands down my chest and arms.
Without warning he suddenly slaps me. My neck snaps painfully as my head is nearly wrenched from my shoulders.
I felt a small sting then too. I feel the blood ooze from a small scratch that extends from my jaw line to the bridge of my nose. He slaps again from the other direction. I hear a sickening snap as my head bounces back from the floor. I felt another, deeper gouge in this cheek.
“Thank you, Rhyns.” I murmured as shiver from loss of blood.
My world spins and my body burns, both icy and fiery.
My senses, though, weren’t dull enough to miss his fingers sliding around my neck. His fingers pressed down my windpipe firmly.
I don’t bother to struggle; I’m totally resigned to my fate.
If it ends now then so be it.
I choke out another word of gratitude before my vision swims and dark streaks of death slowly blot out my vision.
My body goes numb and my mind goes still.
I can’t comprehend a thing; I just see darkness. That is all. Just darkness.
 Ray the Good Soldier · Sun Nov 18, 2007 @ 05:55pm · 0 Comments |
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