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I should probably put this in my Livejournal, but none of my 20something friends ever leave comments. So I've decided to put it on Gaia instead just because I know for a fact that it won't appear on any friends pages, and people won't look directly at it and decide to bypass it. It'll be a pleasant surprise if I get any comments because I don't expect any at all.

But its just easier for me to write as if I were speaking to someone, so I'll continue addressing my invisible reader.

Today I failed my second driver's test. For various reasons I'd rather not go into. But no, I didn't hurt anyone or damage the car or anyone else's.

Do you know how insulting it is to be talked to as if you were a four year old who ran the wrong way during a soccer game?

I'm a 24 year old graduate from the University of California at Irvine. I have a Bachelor's degree in English, with a minor in Biological Sciences. I maintained a 3.4 GPA and never failed a class. Not even Linguistic Syntax or Molecular Biology. If I'd failed a class, I would have been terribly disappointed with myself. If I failed it again, I'd say I'm blind stinking stupid. Or at least bad enough at the subject to never try it again.

But this is driving. A task that is certainly different from studying, writing essays and taking 3 hour long finals. But I don't know if that's reassuring or not. On the one side, its something I can't "cram" for or read about in my spare time. I can't do it independently because my permit requires that someone be in the car with me. Its not an academic subject like I'm used to. But on the other side, its a task that millions of people are capable of doing practically in their sleep. Thusly it should be easy for anyone.

I really don't know what the solution is. I paid 200$ for a 6 hour driver's training course that I passed 4 months ago, and I've been driving at least 3 hours a week for 3 months without feeling as if I was getting any better. I don't feel like practice will help me. But maybe I just need to do it anyway, even though it just feels like a waste of gas, a waste of time, and a waste of the patience of my loved ones.

And here I am pouring my feelings out onto a website whose key demographic consists of people 10 years younger than myself. Apparently I just have to pull my head out of my cowardly, pretentious a** and grow the ******** up.

Today's Music - Bob Dylan - Ain't Talkin'