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 Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 1:49 pm
 So dear I love him that with him,
All deaths I could endure.
Without him, live no life. o1. Introduction Username:Capricorn Empress
Preferred Name: I've always wanted to be called Sensei for some reason whee
Position in Question: Sentence structure and Punctuation
Guild History: Oh wow I've been here exactly one month biggrin (at time of submitting application)
Role-Play History: Roughly three years, I know; not long redface
Why you want to apply:--I'm a Language Arts and English Education major at a Florida university right now, about to go into my second year.
--I've done two years of a summer program where I tutor high school and middle school kids in English.
--I'm very passionate about the English language and writing
--I plan to teach AP classes at the high school level so this would be great practice for some methods I'd like to employ. I think that my writing would also improve and my Gaia student improves...It's a win-win situation 
--Along with improving writing quality in the guild, activity would increase and guild members will get to socialize and meet each other; I'd like to be apart of helping the guild in anyway ^_^
Role-Play Sample:
"Uru, Take Sanyo and go!" She heard he brother's voice but her eyes stayed riveted on her mother's lifeless form. Her baby sister wailed in the adjoining room, past her mother's body and sirens screamed in the distance, but she heard none of it; her head felt clouded and spongy.
The top part of the door jam to the nursery collapsed, swallowed up by the flames.
"Curse you Uru. Go!" Her body spurred into action. She made for the nursery but the rest of the doorway fell in to block her way in. Her eyes wide and her breathing fast and ragged, she looked for another way in. Hungry flames licked at her legs and seeing no other way Uru dove through the fire into the once beautiful room. Her mind raced as she saw that flames had started to climb up the legs of the crib. She weaved through the fire as it danced to it and scooped up the shrieking infant.
Frantic she shook a snatch of fire from the edge of the pink blanket and left the way she had come. She couldn't hear her brother or the intruder anymore, but she moved forward anyway. She called for him but got no answer. Smoke clogged her throat and lungs and made her eyes burn.
Uru collapsed against a wall, Sanyo's wails growing more distant. With the fear of passing out filling her chest to bursting, she shoved herself from the wall. She got no further than two steps before the darkness and the smoke engulfed her.
* * * * * *
"I have to-"
"Shh and relax." A cold cloth was pressed to her temple, Uru pushed it away impatiently and sat up on the ground. There were firefighters everywhere but the flames that slapped greedily at her home would not be tamed.
"Mother! Ikea! Sanyo!" Hot tears streamed down her face as she rushed toward the burning building. What had once been her small, average home erupted in flames, belching heat and ash everywhere. Firefighters shoved her aside before she could get close enough to throw herself inside. Looking around, there was no sign of her brother or baby sister. She backed away until she was on the curb in front of what was once her house then turned and sat. There was no point in getting run over because tears blinded her. There was nothing she could do to stop them from coming anyway, so she simply embraced them as they racked her body.
There was a crackling sound, then something ripped. She lifted her tear scared face and looked about her. There was a sucking sound and then a flash of light that grew in intensity and warmth. It opened up and seemed to draw her in. Uru made to run but she couldn't move, as though the concrete was holding her captive. Her mouth opened to scream, maybe call for someone, but no sound came out as the light enveloped her.
Then there was nothing.
* * * * * *
Unhooking his sword Raiko pushed through the brush and made for the river, his training had run late today; of his own wish of course. The physical, mental even emotional demands of his training were nothing to sneeze at and now he needed to get the sweat and grime clinging to his body off. He maneuvered around a tree in the dark, guided only by memory and moonlight.
He'd already started stripping off his kimono when he came to the silver river when his hand stilled and he ducked behind a bush. Lying on the bank was the still, naked form of woman. He couldn't tell if there was life left in her, for her side seemed not to move when and if she breathed. Sensing no danger, he stepped from his hiding place but still approached with caution. Women are the best kinds of deceivers.
Her skin was pale in the moonlight, her hair lay disarrayed about her head on the earth and he saw that she did breath, thought barely. When he was close enough to see her face, he very nearly fell back. Where her arm lay across her midsection, the ground was stained a deep crimson, there were purple bruises on her hip, shoulder and slender legs. There was a long scrape on her cheek and to his astonishment, an even longer one down her back, from her right shoulder blade, across her spine to her left hip. More than a little frantic, he peeled off his already open kimono and threw it over her fragile form.
"Mother, Ikea, Sonya." The names escaped her on a sigh when he turned her onto her back and scooped her up. Something unnerved him about her but he pushed it aside and took her back to the village.
* * * * * *
Uru bolted up, sweat poured down her face and trickled down her back. Somewhere -everywhere?- hurt but she hardly felt she was in her own body. There was a fire but it was just a dream-or was it? It felt so real. She could feel the smoke crowding her chest and the flames beating at her legs scorching the hairs. There was a baby, she was crying in her arms. Then it was dark.
She looked around, her eye's quickly adjusting to the dark. It pained to turn her neck but she had to see. The gentle moonlight streaked in through an open window in the small wood house and she smelled flowers but none that she could see. There was a sound, like the footsteps of someone running toward the house. She shoved up as fast as her aching legs would allow, looking for a place to hide; there was nowhere. Save for the mattress she sat one, a table and two stools, and a small simple shrine with a scarlet handled sword cradled on it, there was nothing else.
The sound was coming closer, her heart pounded fearing that someone would attack should they come in, she grabbed up the sword and plastered herself against the wall. She'd be seen of course, but she could care less.
The doors slid open and a man came in, though she couldn't see his face, she knew. She could smell the sweat, earth and hard work on him. From his silhouette, she judged him to be six two. She heard the rustle of his clothing as her stripped it off and it fell to floor then he turned and seemed to look directly at her. He probably was and because her heart was in her throat she dashed for and out the door, before she knew it she was deep in a forest in just a few strides. Pain ripped from her side through her entire body, it hurt her to breath and walk so she dropped down beside the river she'd come to.
* * * * * *
Damn it, no, he had to go after her. What was wrong with women?
Raiko reluctantly dragged on his kimono and followed her. He found her where he had the first time by the river though now she sat on a flat top boulder with her gown about her waste and a ribbon holding her hair on top of her head.
"You shouldn't do that." He said stepping slowly closer to her. He didn't want to fighten her, she might unknowingly cause harm to herself out of fear. He saw her back stiffen and her hand stopped undoing the bandage around her chest and midsection.
"Who are you?" Uru asked, stuffing her arms through the sleeves of her kimono.
"My name is Raiko." He was behind her now but in a blink she was behind him.
"What am I doing here?" She looked at him now, in the moonlight he was beautiful. His green eyes flashed with impatience, his nose and chin seemed to have been carved to perfectly fit his face. His mouth was strong and inviting something stirred in her but she paid it no mind, she needed to get home, back to her family.
"I should be asking you that." Her speed surprised him. Who was she? "You've been her for the past three moons. Asleep."
"I don't believe you!" Her eyes flamed. She unsheathed the sword and saw his own eyes go wide. "What did you do to them?!" She charged him, swinging the blade in a wide arch at his back.
Raiko barely had time to dodge when he saw how easily she controlled The Abyss; the scared double-edge sword, that had been passed down through his family for generations. No one had been able to lift the sword from its cradle. No matter how hard they tried, the sword would gain twice that strength in resistance. So they had built around it. When he was in the village he would guard it, though with just its weight alone it could protect itself.
But this girl, this mortal girl, had come and wielded it as though it were a feather in her hand. She struck out at him again and he could feel the energy she gave it. He lost his balance and fell back into the river and n an instant she was straddling him, the blade of the sword pressed dangerously to pulse at the base of his throat.
"You will tell me what you did with my brother and sister or, I swear, I will kill you." Tears shimmered in her eyes with the intensity of her threat. He knew she wasn't lying, she would do it. There was a rustle in bushes, when she glanced over, momentarily distracted, he flipped her onto her back. He didn't want to hurt her more than she already was but she wouldn't cooperate, he was amazed to see her move this much with the severity of her wounds.
Uru wouldn't cry, wouldn't let this Raiko see her cry. She lay still under him and waited as his gaze scraped over her face then locked onto the sword in her hand. He was hurting her and because she couldn't hold it in, she groaned. His eyes snapped back to hers and he climbed off her careful of her wounds. She sprung up then and pinned him to a tree.
"You don't give up do you?" Raiko had to give her credit, he could see how much pain she was in and the effort she made to hold it off, that she wouldn't give in, even if it killed her.
"Just tell me where they are and I'll let you go." Uru's vision blurred, she stepped back from him a bit, blinking like and owl. She still held the sword to his throat but the strain of doing so caused it to waver slightly.
"I don't know your family," Raiko stepped forward. Her skin had gone deathly pale like when he had found her three moons before. "You have to get back to the village."
"No." She sucked in a breath as pain shot through her entire body. "Just take me to them." A persistent tear rolled down her cheek. "Please." The simple request was no more than a whisper before she fell forward. Raiko caught her about her waste like a lifeless rag doll. The sword slipped from her limp hand and grew cold.
He turned her over as he lowered them to the ground, there was a large, spreading crimson stain on her gown. With an oath he looked in the direction of the village. He couldn't leave her here alone and the reopened wound would surely slay her before morning. There was nothing he could do; he didn't like that. He slipped out of his own kimono and draped it over them for warmth. o1. Introduction
o2. School Workings
o3. Rubric
o4. Student Syllabus
o5. Notes
o6. Reserved
o7. Reserved
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 1:50 pm
The art of love is largely..... o2. School Workings Hello all -=smiles and waves=- below is how I plan to work with my students. Of course suggestions are welcomed on the procedure but for the most part this is how it will be done smile
The assignment(s) that the student(s) are given will be posted in this role play thread for others to see (enabling others to see if this is the school for them and what they might contact me to work on). The instructions and the goal of the assignment will be posted along with the student's submission so others know what to look for.
Eg. The assignment deals with sentence structure and conveying a particular scenery such that:
(1) the reader can visualize it clearly.
(2) Descriptions flow and nothing seems unreal or out of place.
(3) Depending on the level of the student sentences should be:
----clear
----concise
----simple and/or complicated
----well thought out and presented
----vary in style, structure and vocabulary and
----do not run on.
(4) Employ correct punctuation and
(5) Entertain, because this is the goal of role playing in the first place biggrin
--The student can opt not to have their names accompany the submission and syllabus for their own privacy of course. smile
--Errors will be numerically marked and my corrections, suggestions, re-wording, etc will be posted separately with the corresponding number(s).
--Students' first assignment will be centered/on a prompt of my choosing and from there I will work on a syllabus for each individual student.
--The syllabus is posted and updated as we go along. Eight assignments are mandatory for me but this my stay the same or increase as the student progresses.
--There are due dates for each assignment. When the syllabus is updated, the due date is written at the bottom, students are given one week to complete and submit assignments. Late assignments can be made up but the grade will be lowered.
--It is the responsibility of the student to check the school thread and be aware of due dates and grades.
--Student responses to my critique should be posted in this forum not sent to me.
--The floor is always open for others to offer their suggestions and grading scale and you're welcome to comment on my critique of any assignments smile
Those who are suggested/sent to me or feel that they want to work with me contact me via PM. This is what I want to do in real life so I will take this very seriously but, of course, not over board. Comments, concerns, suggestion, questions are always welcome and encouraged. I really look forward to working with students and other instructors biggrin o1. Introduction
o2. School Workings
o3. Rubric
o4. Student Syllabus
o5. Notes
o6. Reserved
o7. Reserved
Back to top...the art of persistence.
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 1:51 pm
The art of love is largely..... o3. Rubric 
---Rubric category/categories that do not apply will be posted along with current assignment.
---In syllabus, rubric elements with minor in parenthesis are extra credit, graded 1-3
---If an assignment receives a grade of D or F student can choose to do a similar assignment or keep their grade. There will be a grace period for the student to inform me of their decision.
---Failing/Missing assignments runs the risk of not graduating. Should the student pass the graduation requirement sample but fail/miss many assignments, they cannot graduate.
---REMEMBER, grades are always open to discussion smile
o2. School Workings
o3. Rubric
o4. Student Syllabus
o5. Notes
o6. Reserved
o7. Reserved
Back to top...the art of persistence.
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 1:52 pm
o4. Student Syllabus AlexArgent's Syllabus (Subject to change depending on the student’s progress) Primary Concern: N/A. (always pay attention to these as this is why you were sent here/decided to enroll) Secondary Concern: N/A (Additional things you need/wish to work on.) For All Assignments I Am Looking For the Following:---Diversity in sentences. ---Proper punctuation, proper word usage ---Piece should always entertain and keep reader interested ---Creativity ---Clarity ---Realism ---Vocabulary growth ---Careful attention to prompt ---Added elements (optional but it never hurts ) ---Story progression, timelines and history ---Variety in delivery (the ways reader is told the same information) ---Fluidity in writing Assignment One: Overview of student. Prompt: She looked at the sparkling diamond ring sitting comfortably in the red box. Her heart was hammering madly. "Will you marry me?" He asked her expectantly. She stared at him, speechless. She didn't love him at all. "No, I'm sorry..." Now continue with the story... What would you do if you were either one of them? Replace "He/She" with "I" accordingly to your gender. This helps me figure out where you stand with your roleplay. Also lets me know initially what needs to be worked on. Other things may crop up in future but this gives me a ‘first impression’ of your work.Status: Complete
Grade: None
Due: 11/24 Assignment Two: Roleplay Reply Prompt: Aneila lay back in his arms her body shivering violently. The ice had been thin and she'd fallen threw after landing her triple axle. She could felt the crisp air snatch at her sweater and legs warms, her skates glided smoothly over the ice. She had done a little spin as she imagined she was performing for a large awestruck crowed in a warmed rink. She bent her body the way she was taught, the way she had done so many times before. Left knee bent, arms out for balance, right leg extended back to use for push and power, then take off. Her execution was flawless and she knew she looked glorious and graceful as she spun threw the air, as she landed. She extended her arms, landed in the spin and continued it, sweeping her right leg swing out, she slowed down and waited the seconds for her body to adjust to the stop. Those seconds were also when her life went to hell. There was no warning, not like in the movies when you hear the ice breaking and have that moment to panic. There was none of that. Just the chill of the wind against her cheek then the freezing cold of her entire body being submerged in ice and water. She's struggled, she had managed to break the surface and call for help but that was all. Her body couldn't handle the cold and her clothes and skates made her heavy. Her body went into shock and she could feel herself sinking even through the numbness of it all. Now she law shaking uncontrollable in someone's arms. Her eyes wouldn't open and she couldn't will her body to be still so she simply laid there. Note: You are to reply to the post as you would in a role-play. The setting is during winter (Christmas if you wish) on a pond. Aneila has fallen through the ice and your character has rescued her. Rubric Elements: Creativity, Spelling & Punctuation, Organization, Focus, Character, Setting, Action, Dialogue (minor) 86 - 96 = A 85 – 75 = B 74 – 64 = C 63 – 53 D 52 and below = F Status: Complete
Grade: Grading
Due: 12/o9 Assignment Three: Character Development Word choices, Sentence and phrase structure Prompt: Write about this serendipitous person: An intelligent stranger with bandages on the face leaving an office. Suggestions: Try to paint with words interesting details about your character. You might be tempted to focus on what the character is doing, not the details that describe the character, so try this: with each sentence you write, make sure you have one descriptive detail that helps the reader better know what the character you've created looks like..
What I am looking for: Diversity in sentences. ---Proper punctuation, proper word usage ---The character is "real," not stiff or their actions and/speech forced and unrealistic for the time period. ---Able to see the character clearly ---Piece should entertain Rubric Elements: Creativity, Spelling & Punctuation, Organization, Focus, Introduction, Character, Setting (Minor), Action (Minor) 96 – 86 = A 85 – 75 = B 74 – 64 = C 63 – 53 D 52 and below = F Status: In Progress
Grade:
Due: 12/16
o2. School Workings
o3. Rubric
o4. Student Syllabus
o5. Notes
o6. Reserved
o7. Reserved
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 2:08 pm
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 2:41 pm
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 2:42 pm
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Reply
