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I didn't really think I wanted to ask a bunch of "kids." I am 21 years old, I go an art school, I work, I pay my own rent, I take care of my cat. I am dependable, and I've always thought of myself as somewhat intelligent. I have a lot of friends who tell me constantly that I am on of the nicest people they've met. --

Which is why I feel that my problem is very childish.
Which is why I do not really want to ask a lot of my friends.
Which is why I'm asking ya'll's advise.

I love my best friend. Shes completely awesome. We get along wonderfully. We've been best friends for four years, we've caused each other to grow up. We've been there through the rough times. Ect, ect. Shes been dating this guy for a while. I never cared for him all that much but I put up with him because he means so much to her.

Today, he called me a "Stupid c**t" three times. Then towards the end of our visit he had the audacity to say -- "I find it amazing -- Everytime you open your speak you prove to me more and more how stupid you are."

It broke my heart a little bit. I'm not used to being spoken to like that. Especially in front of my best friend while she says nothing about it. It made me feel ignorant, and like I wasn't worth anyone's time.

Should I just ignore this? What would be the mature thing to do? Should I confront her and tell her that I don't think it was right for him to say something like that? Or should I respect her decision to date him and pay more attention to how much they mean to each other?

I know it is childish. It is driving me nuts though..

Thanks yall <3

Yeah I know! Its very tricky.
Thank you for your input though.

The problem with that is -- my best friend and I go to different colleges. So I'm not around them all that often. I'll have to wait for a good oppertunity with that one. <3 But that does sound good.

well, being that i'm the type of guy who has, in the past... and sometimes still do, replys to stuff like that with my fists, i really can't offer you too much guidance on this situation. i will, however, say this much. any man who has the audacity to say that to a woman should be casterated with a dull rusty butter knife. i would seriously talk to your friend about it. let her know how much it bothers you that her boyfriend said that. tell her that it hurt you. let her know your disappointment with the fact she didn't say anything to him about his rude and tasteless comments. but by no means be rude about it. just explain to her that you felt they were unwarranted and abrasive comments.

That is awful! To be talked to that way! I would as other people have said talk to your friend. See what you can work out. Useing your fists isn't always a good idea and would be lowering yourself to thier level. Good luck.

Friends will date, sleep with, and marry the biggest bums known to man. My advice is to be honest with your friend. Although it is my opinion that this dude is a total p***k who is an extraordinary jerk, alas, if you told your friend that she'd probably be hurt or get mad.

I'd let her know that you don't care for how he speaks to you, that you respect her decision, but you will assert yourself if he talks down to you. You have the right to defend yourself. NO ONE has the right to speak that way to you -especially- when you've done nothing to them. And if your friend cannot respect your right to defend your own honor, to not let her a** boyfriend walk all over you, then it may have to be one of those falling out moments. As much as you adore your friends, the truth is, you have to be able to look after yourself. It hurts bad enough when nobody stands up for us. I think it's a shame your friend didn't defend you, but hopefully some day she'll come around (some gals just need a little time to get their senses back!). Even worse is when you feel like you cannot stand up for yourself. Hopefully your friend has enough love and respect for you to understand that if he speaks rudely to you that you have every right to do what's in your power to put him in his place.

In my experience good boyfriends/fiances/hubbies/etc treat their girlfriend's/fiancees/wives' friends with respect. When you're in a mature and caring relationship with someone you appreciate the roles your significant other's friends play. You can't like -every- friend your significant other has, and often times the best friend is a bit scary (because let's face it, they're such a piece of the significant other's heart!). But a good guy/gal will realize the importance of putting petty things aside for the happiness of their significant other. Now I'm rambling...

I'm sorry that jerk off hurt you. In my opinion he sounds like the unintelligent one, anyone who's best attack is "Stupid c**t" clearly lacks an adequate lexicon. Really it makes my blood boil just a little, sounds like a complete Neanderthal.

I tend to agree. Any guy who talks to a girl like that is not to be trusted or respected. I think that if he abuses a person with words (and that's what it was, abuse), then he can abuse a person in other ways, too. I wouldn't trust him and if he speaks to you like that, it's only a matter of time before he speaks to her like that. I wouldn't trust him at all. He might stop using words and start doing something even worse. Maybe he's already speaking abuseively or rudely to your friend. Maybe she didn't say anything because she's afraid of him. You don't know. I'd fear for her safety. She might get upset, but if it were me, I'd be less worried that he spoke rudely to me and more worried about my friend. I certainly wouldn't go around him anymore, and definitely have a talk with your friend. Language like that is uncalled for under ANY circumstance and anyone who uses it has to be at least somewhat unsavory. scream

And dull rusty butter knife doesn't sound like a bad idea either. stare

I agree with her. you should call him on it. I am a nice guy and would never act like this towards a lady, I was raised better than that. I think you probably should talk to her about it, but be careful about how you approach the issue. I dunno what other advice I could give you, but I'd be more than happy to lend some more advice if you need it.

This is how I would handle it:

I would talk to your friend and make sure she understands how much her boyfriend's behavior upsets you. Then hopefully she will stand up to her boyfriend or talk to him about it or something and hopefully he will back off! Maybe they don't realize that you're being hurt so much (though that seems unlikely with the things he says..).

If all that doesn't work then I would respect her decision to be with this guy and let her make her own decisions as far as that goes but let her know that you don't want to be around him.