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Scaramouche says (8:27 PM):
...
Maybe I really don't care all that much about your gaia obession.
>_>
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:28 PM):
Maybe it has nothing to do with Gaia and it has to do with my drawings. Hm? That might be it right? Considering all I do is draw all the time anyway. Possibly?
Scaramouche says (8:28 PM):
All I see are drawings of gaia people.
That's... basically all you show me.
Except for a few others.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:29 PM):
Well it's the only thing I can draw. I don't create my own original characters anymore. If I did, you'd see various pictures of the same girl or boy over and over again.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:30 PM):
And you know what, you're really pissing me off.
I can't even remember the last time you were ******** nice to me. I have no reason to love you if you're going to be a ******** douchebag.
Scaramouche says (8:31 PM):
I'm nice to you every time I indulge you in your gaia obsession rather than making fun of you, like I would to anyone else I know.
You mean -extra- nice.
Romantic and perfect and whatnot.
Scaramouche says (8:32 PM):
Interested in your interests.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:32 PM):
No. Just nice. Like not making fun of me. Because you do make fun of me. Like every single ******** time you say something.
Scaramouche says (8:32 PM):
Do I make fun of you when I say I love you?
I think not.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:32 PM):
You don't say unless I say it first.
Scaramouche says (8:33 PM):
Well, that's how I am a lot of the time.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:33 PM):
Yeah. And it's pissing me off.
Scaramouche says (8:33 PM):
Well then you're hating me for being me.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:34 PM):
Well then fine. I hate you if that's what you say I do.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:40 PM):
Fine. I'll stop going on Gaia. If that'll make you happy. Since that's all I ever ******** talk about. I'll just get off the computer since I'll have nothing else to do. And the only way we'll be able to talk is through my phone messenger.
Not that you'll even ******** care. You wouldn't ******** care if I stopped talking to you altogether.
Scaramouche says (8:40 PM):
Now you're just trying to make me feel bad.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:41 PM):
You wouldn't feel bad if it wasn't true.
Scaramouche says (8:42 PM):
I never said I did feel bad. You think people haven't done this same routine to me before? I'm not going to let myself be affected by something so obvious.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:43 PM):
Right. Because you really don't love me.
Scaramouche says (8:43 PM):
Because I'm not your typical ignorant teenager.
Though I shouldn't say that.
Since most people are pretty easily beaten by those statements.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:44 PM):
Just like I probably really don't love you. I've probably just been really confused or something for all these months. I don't see how I can love you. You're not nice to me at all. You say you're nice to me, because you're not as mean to me as you are to everyone else. But that doesn't cut it. I have to be happy when I'm talking to you. And the only time I'm happy is when I'm next to you.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:45 PM):
But I don't wanna be next to you if you're just going to pretend to love me.
Scaramouche says (8:45 PM):
Woman... if you really intended to anyway, quitting gaia would be your own mistake anyway.
Scaramouche says (8:46 PM):
After all, friends are more important than relationships.
Believe it or not.
Friends tend to last longer.
Especially when you're still in high school.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:46 PM):
You're supposed to be my friend too, Alex.
Scaramouche says (8:47 PM):
Well, there you have it.
We're friends and lovers at the same time.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:48 PM):
SUPPOSED TO. That's the key to the sentence. But you sure don't act like it.
Scaramouche says (8:48 PM):
We don't have to make it the damned end of the world every time we have an argument over each other's faults.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:48 PM):
YOU DON'T ACT LIKE IT.
Scaramouche says (8:48 PM):
I don't act like it because I don't act nice to my friends.
I treat you better than I treat my friends. I'm not a good person.
Scaramouche says (8:49 PM):
It's just a lot easier to see up close.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:49 PM):
You still have to treat me better. You make me feel like a total ******** idiot all the time, even when we're hanging out.
Scaramouche says (8:49 PM):
How do I make you feel like a total ******** idiot.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:49 PM):
Because you're always condescending.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:50 PM):
Always acting smarter. Even if you are smarter, you don't have to act it.
Scaramouche says (8:50 PM):
I don't act smarter.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:51 PM):
Yes you do.
Scaramouche says (8:51 PM):
I act as smart as I am.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:51 PM):
You act smarter THAN me. Is what I'm saying.
You can act normal without always having to flaunt your intelligence.
Scaramouche says (8:51 PM):
I'm not flaunting my intelligence.
I use big words and talk about difficult concepts.
Scaramouche says (8:52 PM):
I take hard classes.
I'm just being me.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:52 PM):
And then you rub it in my face.
Scaramouche says (8:52 PM):
How.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:52 PM):
You just do.
Scaramouche says (8:52 PM):
You should have an example if you're going to accuse me of being condescending.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:53 PM):
My example is you.
Scaramouche says (8:53 PM):
My retort still works.
I am smart. I use a large vocabulary.
Being smart isn't being condescending.
It's just how I normally am.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:54 PM):
Maybe I just don't like you anymore. I'm getting sick of you being smarter than me, and getting sick of you treating me the way you treat me, and getting sick of everything I used to like about you.
Scaramouche says (8:54 PM):
There's my point.
Scaramouche says (8:55 PM):
I was about to say, you dislike me being smarter than you more than you like that I am smart.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:55 PM):
Yeah that.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:57 PM):
And you know what, more than I'm sick of you. I'm ******** hate your dad. And I want you to tell him to lay off trying to get to know me and whatever.Tell him I don't even let my mom's boyfriends get to know me, and I certainly don't want him getting to know me. He's just you're chauffer until one of learns to drive.
your^
I^
Scaramouche says (8:57 PM):
>_>;
Scaramouche says (8:58 PM):
Yeah, I hate him too.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:58 PM):
I'm serious. Tell him.
Scaramouche says (8:58 PM):
Fine.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (8:58 PM):
Good.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:00 PM):
Anyway.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:02 PM):
I don't think we're good together.
We don't find the same things funny or interesting.
And you like everything that I'm afraid of.

And how can I have even bothered to say I loved you more than a year ago? I had no real reason or explanation. So who knows if I ever actually loved you or if I just thought I did.
Scaramouche says (9:03 PM):
Well, I don't know either.
I was an a*****e to you, and you abruptly announce one day that you have feelings for me regardless.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:03 PM):
Yeah. That's why I don't know why.
Scaramouche says (9:04 PM):
Hm.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:04 PM):
And that's why I don't know why I'm getting all upset now.
I feel like I've lied to you or something.
Scaramouche says (9:05 PM):
Lawl.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:05 PM):
...
Scaramouche says (9:05 PM):
If you haven't noticed by now, comedy is my best defense mechanism.
Even if I'm just typing the damn word and not feeling it.
It beats feeling negative emotions.
Scaramouche says (9:06 PM):
It's distracting.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:06 PM):
How can you even think about not feeling bad when I practically choking to death because of crying?
Scaramouche says (9:07 PM):
I know you are.
But, I'm being me.
And even in the midst of emotional tempests, I have to do my schoolwork.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:08 PM):
So what are we going to do?
Scaramouche says (9:08 PM):
I don't know.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:08 PM):
I don't know either.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:12 PM):
I'm lost. I don't know why I'm getting all upset if I don't love you. I don't know if I don't love you or if I do. But I know that I've claimed you. So I can't let you go and then have you talk bad about me like you've done about your exgirlfriends.
Scaramouche says (9:12 PM):
Now you're just being paranoid.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:12 PM):
So?
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:13 PM):
That's why I told you I'd have to kill you if we ever broke up.
Scaramouche says (9:13 PM):
Pfft.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:13 PM):
I might do it if we do.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:14 PM):
Though you probably can't say the same about the stuff you said would happen to you.
You probably don't even remember.
Scaramouche says (9:14 PM):
You have one hell of a god complex.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:14 PM):
I don't even know what that means.
Scaramouche says (9:14 PM):
Nevermind it then.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:15 PM):
Why don't you explain to me instead of getting all a*****e-ish like that?
Scaramouche says (9:15 PM):
I'm not being assholeish.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:15 PM):
THAT'S what I'm talking about. You always say 'Nevermind' when I want you to explain something to me.
Scaramouche says (9:15 PM):
You wouldn't bother to look it up anyway, so it's better left unsaid.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:15 PM):
I can't look it up because I suck at researching.
Scaramouche says (9:15 PM):
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/whatever_you_want_to_look_up
Scaramouche says (9:16 PM):
It's that simple.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:16 PM):
...You can't ******** trust wikipedia.
Scaramouche says (9:16 PM):
For most of the things I look up, which aren't easy targets for vandalism, you can.
Also, you know those things at the bottom of each page? The sources where the information came from?
Scaramouche says (9:17 PM):
Those are usually links that you can follow.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:17 PM):
This is what I'm ******** talking about.
Scaramouche says (9:17 PM):
This time I'm doing it on purpose because you're lazy.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:17 PM):
It doesn't matter.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:18 PM):
You've done it, because YOU'RE too lazy to be nice like you should be to me, and tell me in a way I'll understand.
Scaramouche says (9:18 PM):
Also, you don't handle criticism at all.
Which is why I usually just keep my mouth shut.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:18 PM):
Or maybe I should start spelling things wrong and using improper grammar so you'll get that I'm not smart.
Scaramouche says (9:18 PM):
Like I said.
You can't handle criticism at all.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:19 PM):
I can handle you explaining something as long as you use simple terms an idiot would be able to understand.
Scaramouche says (9:20 PM):
Well, a lot of the things I say aren't all that complicated or obscure
Just a level or two above common knowledge.
And there are more than a dozen easy to find online encyclopedias that hold the information.
Scaramouche says (9:21 PM):
Also, I'm not good at explaining things that I have in my mind as a one or two word term.
So it'd be easier for you to type ten words into google than for me to explain it.
Scaramouche says (9:22 PM):
But like I said. You can't handle criticism, and it seems like your mom can't either, so that explains that much.
If I haven't complained or badmouthed you to people yet, I'm really unlikely to bother with it at all.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:23 PM):
Yeah, but I bet you haven't said anything great about me either.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:24 PM):
Which is understandable anyway. e_e
I'm not great. And I'm a b***h. Who would be proud of having a c**t like me for a girlfriend?
Scaramouche says (9:24 PM):
Maybe I don't talk about you all that much because I at least have enough tact to not make my loser friends who can't get ******** girlfriends to save their lives feel like total s**t? <_<
And I don't want to sound like I have no other aspects to my life.
Scaramouche says (9:25 PM):
Like my friends tend to when they're just -interested- in someone.
So when I have spoken about you, it's been either good things, or me telling them something funny you said.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:26 PM):
You know what? You've proved your point AND made me feel even more like me even breathing is a total mistake. You win. I bet you're real proud of yourself.
Scaramouche says (9:27 PM):
Well.
You know what?
It's not my fault that I aggravate your mental issues.
I don't aggravate most people's mental issues.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:27 PM):
I just said you won. You can stop now.
Scaramouche says (9:27 PM):
Hn.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:31 PM):
You were supposed to be the only thing that made me happy. So now what? I get to go back to being completely emo because you don't care if I'm happy or not. Because of you, I'm still alive and I've had to deal with more things that've made me want to kill myself. YES I'M EMO RIGHT NOW. You don't have to point it out. But I've hated my life since before I met you anyway.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:33 PM):
I'm not good at anything. Nothing else good has happened to me. My mom is a nutjob. My dad is a ******** disgrace. And every friend I've ever made, has betrayed me somehow and I've been left friendless. I've been made fun of my whole life for being me. So obviously there's something wrong with me, and I've been blind to it for like ever. There's nothing for me to even live for.
So yes. I should kill myself.
Scaramouche says (9:34 PM):
I'll tell you this much. Any -counselor- worth their salt, let alone therapist, will tell you that it's unfair, irrational, and irresponsible to expect one person to be responsible for your happiness.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:35 PM):
I know that. But what do you ******** expect from me? I have no other ******** excuses.
Scaramouche says (9:35 PM):
Yeah, well. You do a lot of self-pitying.
Scaramouche says (9:36 PM):
And you're doing a lot more than normal right now.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:36 PM):
Well no one else is going to care about me, so I have to care about me.
Scaramouche says (9:36 PM):
See, there it goes.
So what you want is for me to care about you, to cry with you, to validate your existence to you.
Scaramouche says (9:37 PM):
Well, damnit. You're supposed to have family and friends for that too. You use Gaia for it occasionally.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:38 PM):
Well, should I just ******** shut up? Because I've got nothing else to say. And how would you ******** know if I wanted that? I don't. I want you to either tell me I'm wrong if you think I'm wrong, or tell me to shut up. You can even tell me I'm ******** pathetic and that what I've said is true and it makes you sick. You don't have to try to comfort me or anything.
I have no family to do it for me.
And I thought you were sick of me always being on Gaia and saying my only friends were on Gaia.
Scaramouche says (9:39 PM):
Well, if they are your friends, that should mean more than what some stupid boy says about it, hm?
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:40 PM):
They're not though. They're not friends that matter. I'll never meet any of them. The only thing they can do is offer words. They can't be here for me. I know they're not my real friends.
And what you say matters to me because you know things.
Scaramouche says (9:40 PM):
They know things too.
Besides, what am I good for if that's the case anyway.
Scaramouche says (9:41 PM):
I'm there for you once every two or three weeks, and all we do is cling to each other and whatnot during that time.
Scaramouche says (9:42 PM):
I'm not there when you're moving, I'm not there when you're crying, I'm not there when you're fighting with your mother or your former friends, I'm just there once or twice a month to cuddle and the rest is words.
So what's the damn difference, really.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:42 PM):
I know all that.
Why the ******** do you think I feel so helpless?
Scaramouche says (9:43 PM):
We all feel helpless, dearie. We're teenagers.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:43 PM):
Not all teenagers are ******** the same.
Scaramouche says (9:43 PM):
Exactly.
Scaramouche says (9:44 PM):
Someone could go through far less than you and be more traumatized for it.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:44 PM):
Alex. Just tell me if you want me to shut up or not. Do you want me to just shut up and dissappear from your life? I'm not doing anything good for you, and all you're trying to do right now is ******** with my head.
Scaramouche says (9:45 PM):
I'm not trying to ******** with your head.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:45 PM):
Yeah right.
What the ******** was with the 'dearie' s**t?
Scaramouche says (9:45 PM):
It's something I do.
It's not unique to you.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:45 PM):
It's sick.
Scaramouche says (9:45 PM):
I'm sick.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:45 PM):
I know.
Scaramouche says (9:45 PM):
You're sick too.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:45 PM):
No I'm not.
Scaramouche says (9:46 PM):
Yes you are, just in a different way.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:46 PM):
How am I sick?
Scaramouche says (9:46 PM):
You can't handle criticism, you always assume everyone is conspiring against you, you can't trust anyone, and it's all because you've been betrayed in the past on multiple occasions.
Scaramouche says (9:47 PM):
You got traumatized in that way, and now it's reflecting itself in every damn thing you do, so you isolate yourself from people, and do your best to make sure they can't betray you.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:47 PM):
Not just 'multiple occasions' Alex.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:48 PM):
Every single ******** person I've ever been friends with, has betrayed me. And I've been friends with more than just a few people in my life.
I've been betrayed by family too.
Scaramouche says (9:48 PM):
Yes, just multiple occasions. Your mother doesn't poison your food when she makes it for you, does she?
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:48 PM):
No. But she's done other ******** things.
Scaramouche says (9:48 PM):
Yeah, I know.
Scaramouche says (9:49 PM):
But, well.
You are sick.
Your mother is sick.
You both need therapy.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:49 PM):
I'm not sick. I'm paranoid.
You're sick.
Scaramouche says (9:49 PM):
That's sick.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:49 PM):
No it's not.
Scaramouche says (9:49 PM):
Just a different kind of sick.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:49 PM):
It's not sick because it doesn't scare people and I don't take enjoyment out of my paranoia.
Scaramouche says (9:49 PM):
Your mother doesn't believe in therapy, does she?
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:49 PM):
I've been to therapy.
Scaramouche says (9:49 PM):
I know.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:50 PM):
Therapy's ******** expensive.
Scaramouche says (9:50 PM):
Yeah, I know.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:50 PM):
Which is why I'm not in it anymore.
And mom thinks I don't need to be in it.
And do you know why?
Because I can't trust her, so I don't tell her the stuff I tell you.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:51 PM):
Mom doesn't know me at all.
Scaramouche says (9:51 PM):
Yeah, no kidding.
I don't trust my family or parents either.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (9:51 PM):
Your life is ******** dandy though.

No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (10:26 PM):
Good.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (10:36 PM):
So what do we do now? Do I love you?
Scaramouche says (10:36 PM):
I don't know, do you?
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (10:36 PM):
I don't know. You would be the one to know if I did.
Scaramouche says (10:37 PM):
Well, I don't know.
No, I don't remember you ever loving me, I think that's your ******** fantasy, I think you want everything. says (10:37 PM):
Do you want me to?
Scaramouche says (10:38 PM):
I can barely think clearly about it right now.