Murphy's Laws of the SCA

[Courtesan Brigitte]

~Your sewing machine will break twice a year: right before Estrella and right before Pennsic

~The last piece of armor you expect to break will be the first one to do it

~The hottest person tonight will be the ugliest tomorrow

~A skilled opponant is less threatening than a bored ally

~"neutral" still means "not on your side"

~The press will always interview the worst-dressed person at an event. If they cannot FIND the worst-dressed person, they will interview the least-dressed person.

~The number of sauces at the feast is directly proportional to the length of your dags times the cost of the material

~The reason the SCA functions the way it does is because its laws are written by computer programmers.
(The reason the USA functions the way it does may be because its computer programs are written by lawyers.)

~The probability that you forgot to pack something is directly proportional to the distance of the event times the necessity of the item

~There are only 25 faces in the SCA. I don't remember your name either.

~In the East, if the King says to dig a ditch, Curia must discuss and approve it. In the West, if the King says to dig a ditch, it takes 4 months to find a shovel

~The schedule given to you by trolls is pornography: autocrats feel entitled to share their fantasy with everyone.

~Anything a king gives twice is an Order.

(If the king gives me a dead halibut, he has given me a dead halibut. If, next week, he gives you one, we are now Companions of the Halibut and I'm the principal.)

~Semper litteris mandate (Always get it in writing). Official motto of the SCA College of Arms

~No one who is facing the audience should be surprised at court

~First rule of Pennsic: It's your vacation
Second rule of Pennsic: it's everyone else's vacation too
Third rule of Pennsic: someone has to run it

~Beneath the calm, professional exterior of the SCA, lurk all the subtle interpersonal dynamics of a nursery school at recess

~Any group of three or more contains one person who is extremely grumpy and will inturpret your actions in the worst possible way.

If you're in Caid this person will also not like your garb.

~No matter how great your triumphs in the SCA, 99.9993% of the planet couldn't care less

~ Never forget that a war is hundreds (or thousands) of people who haven't slept.

~The day you forget your cup (drinking or protecting-of-bits) is the day you need it

~If you don't think you'll need something on the field, and can't find a way of carrying it, you don't need it.

~Never annoy a bard, for their memories are long and your name scans to "greensleeves"

~Nasty politics is like water and air: it seeks its own level, and it fills available space

~Fealty doesn't mean following the King when he decides to gallop over a cliff. It means holding him back (not really a Murphy's Law, but worth repeating)

~Before peerage: chop wood, carry water. After peerage: chop wood, carry water (a modified version of a Bhuddist proverb, substituting "peerage" for "enlightenment")

~Before peerage: chop wood, carry water. After peerage: chop wood, carry water

~The essential fact about the SCA is that we don't kick people out for having different goals or different levels of commitment to our varous goals. That makes it a great place to do what you want to do, but a horrible place to try to escape the things other people want to do.

~Saying that you're "swearing fealty" to the people is kind of like saying you're "marrying" the entire school district.



Add more!  

[Merewen]

Murphy's Laws of Combat in the SCA:

-Don't look conspicuous - it draws fire
-No plan survives contact with the enemy.
-Never hand someone a dagger unless you're sure where he's going to throw it.

Murphy's Laws of Royalty in the SCA:

-Never expect the king to ask his herald first.
-Any Sovereign or Consort who tries to hold any other office will be declared ipso facto insane.


General Murphy's Laws of the SCA:

-Arguing with a herald is like wrestling with a pig. First you get really dirty and muddy, and then, after a while, you begin to realize the pig is enjoying himself.
-Nothing in the SCA is done by a set formula unless the formula is, "Wing it!"


Corollary to Semper litteris mandate (Always get it in writing).
Official motto of the SCA College of Arms:

-If written, it will get lost.  

[felixofvinjar]

A corollary to Merewen's first combat law (-Don't look conspicuous - it draws fire )

-'Oooh! Lookit the shiny!' IS a valid targeting technique for archers.

This also applies to white belts, pointy hats, and anyone who looks like he or she may be rallying a significant portion of the opposing force.  

[Merewen]

An addition to the Combat Laws:

-Pomp and Fluff will get you killed.
-Dumb luck is the only luck you need.  

[CassiusD]

Brigit the slave child

~Fealty doesn't mean following the King when he decides to gallop over a cliff. It means holding him back (not really a Murphy's Law, but worth repeating)

I'm sure glad I've never sworn fealty to anyone, if I see a king about to jump off a cliff I'll point and laugh. Then I laugh at all his followers who are left without a king. Then I take a few more gulps from my wineskin full of hard cider and Captain Morgan and keep laughing at all the people who worry about kings.  

[Naito_Mitsukai]

Merewen

An addition to the Combat Laws:

-Pomp and Fluff will get you killed.
-Dumb luck is the only luck you need.

-Any colours that are bright, or simply stand-out in a group, will also get you killed!

(Bright red in a sea of shinies and whites ... 'oh shoot me now!')  

[Snaebjorn]

If you are wearing a royal tabard you will be the focal point of every attack until archers and spearmen can no longer see you.  

[AnimeOtaku391321]

~Make sure you double check to see if you have everything- even if it means unpacking half the car just to see if you have the duct tape.

~Un-offical but vital piece of heavy armor: Butt plate

~Don't piss off the driver of the war wagon or the navigator. Unless you want to walk to Pennsic ^_^  

[LittleGreenGirl]

AnimeOtaku391321

~Make sure you double check to see if you have everything- even if it means unpacking half the car just to see if you have the duct tape.

Instead of unpacking the whole car, just throw in a couple of extra rolls for good measure. They may come in handy even if you didn't forget the first few. (yay for the handyman's secret weapon!)  

[AnimeOtaku391321]

lol, you could do that. But that law goes for anything in general. Here's another:

~ Never say you won't need "that" piece of equipment because as soon as you get within 2 million miles of the site you will end having to need said piece of equipment.  

[Naito_Mitsukai]

AnimeOtaku391321

lol, you could do that. But that law goes for anything in general. Here's another:

~ Never say you won't need "that" piece of equipment because as soon as you get within 2 million miles of the site you will end having to need said piece of equipment.

~edits~
As soon as you get to the site, after driving ~insert amount of time~ you'll realize you need it - or as soon as you hit the point of no return while driving, you'll realize it! 3nodding  

[Felix OFlyn]

"If its not armored it will get hit"

"If it is red it is varly likely to get hit"

"If it is red and not armored....."  

[Chibbi_Satan]

Pellican's saying: "Smile....tommorow will be worse..."  

[Sunegami]

"If you need it, you probably won't have it.

If you have it, you probably won't need it."

This can apply to many things ("duck" tape? mayhaps). 3nodding whee