Missing Sanity (Fruits Basket Fanfic) | Page 1 | [The Arena]________Fanfiction & Fanart & Original Creations | Guild Forums

Shamanic Moon Goddess

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Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 8:11 pm

Hello Shamanic Moon Goddess a.k.a Simply Hopeless on fanfiction.net and I'm here with a new story. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t put up any new stories until I finished some of my old stories but I couldn’t help it. Anyway what I wanted to say is I don’t own Fruits Basket and this story is mine.

I’ve fallen in love with the concept of Haru and Kyo together so this is their story. I will probably end in two weeks.

Also Kyo’s memories come in random spurts so sorry if it seems confusing when you can’t untangle his memories from his reality. The song in this fic is ‘Missing’ from Evanescence, which fits Kyo’s circumstances perfectly. Oh well I hope you like it and if you want this to continue then review lots.

Missing Sanity

‘Drip…’

‘Drop…’

‘Drip…’

‘Drop DRIP drop…’

No matter how he tried to squeeze his eyes shut and curl his body into a tighter ball it could not silence the sound. The constant dripping that drummed down insistently on the tin roof amplifying the storm raging on outside. It seemed to drain him with each explosion of water resonating through the air into his very bones.

The howling and whistling of the wind crashed violently through the trees and eased its fingers into his cage. A splatter of rain fell onto the dirty floor before changing direction to beat at the other side of the prison. Part of him vaguely wondered, as his cage shivered and groaned, if it would lift him up and take him away.

Away from these dirty walls that barred him from the world outside. It was frightening being truly alone like this. All those other times he sought out sanctuary when he was living with Shigure were never truly being alone. He had always known when he climbed onto the roof or trained in the woods that there were people waiting for him at home. But now… now he only had the ghosts of past cats like him keeping him company through his days. Knowing that he wouldn’t be the first or last that would suffer this fate of his was irksome to say the least.

Bruises and cuts littered his shivering body as he sat in his little corner trying to draw his knees closer to himself. His body had started to loose weight a week or so ago at his lack of motivation to eat or move around. He had given up training a month or so ago when he realized that training would be pointless when he had no chance of challenging Yuki again.

No he just sat there with his stomach growling at him in protest. This noise had become the only slightly comforting sound in the usually quiet cage that was his home… the only companion. He didn’t even bother to consider his weekly visitors that came to jeer and add new bruises to his growing collection.

Chin resting on his knees he eased his eyelids open slowly, chrisom orbs the color of drying blood stared drowsily ahead of him. Sleep was insistent on dragging him down and he would have gladly allowed himself to fall except for the rain. It was as if the heavens had ripped open to pour down all the rain it could over Kyo’s already tearing soul.

His fingers slowly fumbled in his cargo pants for the razorblade that he now kept, a graduation present from Akito. A bitter smile gliding onto his lips as he danced the blade across his fingertips barely wincing when it nicked him occasionally. The cold blade occasionally illuminated when lightening flashed through the barred windows.

“I’ll give you something useful,” he murmured to himself remembering the words that Akito had breathed into his ear as he was taken away. ‘He has said nothing but the truth,’ he thought bitterly to himself. He stopped playing with the razor to glide the unusual sharp blade across his forearm. The line of blood blossomed from his tan arm as he tried to focus on the pain.

Anything was better if it kept him from thinking about the memories that washed over him, leading him up to his current home. His reality seeming to slowly meld with his dreams and memory as the days ticked slowly by. ‘They didn’t even protest for me… only Tohru,’ he thought vehemently, his eyes slowly filling with angry tears.

Please, please forgive me,
But I won’t be home again.
Maybe someday you’ll have woke up,
And, barely conscious, you’ll say to no one:
"isn’t something missing? "

His fingers found themselves resting his razor down on the ground so his fingertips could skim over his black and white rosary beads encircling his tan wrist. He remembered too clearly how his mother insisted on checking them everyday. Sometimes once or twice a day no matter what season as she rolled up his sleeve to look at the simple beads.

‘I love you sweetie… I want you always to be close to me… no I don’t think you should go outside… ignore them sweetie they are only jealous cause I have you’ she murmured these words like a mantra it seemed.

He knew that he was different even at a tender age. Hell he even knew that a lot of his cousins were different. But he was the most unusual of them all as others soon came to bluntly point out. And although he knew this… he had always wondered what he did wrong to deserve such treatment at being chosen as the ‘monster.’

‘Was it that I upset god in another life? Or was it that I had a distaste for leeks? Maybe it was because I picked fights with the rat. Because if that was all it was then I’m willing to change,’ he had found himself thinking this over and over again. Wanting to prove himself to the Sohma family so that they could accept him. But he wasn’t even really sure if his mother accepted him.

‘Was she lying when she said she loved me? I mean if she really loved me why did she have to check my wrist everyday. Was I so much of a monster that even my mother had to lie to me?’ he thought to himself bitterly.

He wanted to rip off his beads and watch the hard black and white beads fly across the room. Wanted to hear the sound of them knocking against each other and the dirt floor before they lost their momentum. But then he too hated what he became when he took those beads off.

The look of horror and disgust on people’s faces were as clear as day as he transformed into that vengeful spirit. At the thought he buried his fingers into his orange hair that was slowly growing out from lack of a haircut. Fingernails biting into his head as he tried to ignore the memory of his mother’s funeral.

Of the loud whispers murmured from person to person as he stared at his mother’s urn. ‘That is mommy,’ he thought vaguely not able to picture it fully. How could someone who had called him her special guy… who hummed to him when he was sleepy and made him cat shaped rice balls be a bunch of ashes? No matter how he tried he could not grapple with the situation not now and not then when he was a small boy.

“He’s the one who killed her… Poor thing to live with a monster like that… They should just put him in the cage early… Look he’s not even crying for her.” He could hear the voices of yesteryears echoing in the room so that he had to wordlessly murmur his protests.

His teeth bit his bottom lip as he rocked violently back and forth trying to keep the tears at bay. ‘I didn’t mean to do it mommy… I didn’t mean to kill you,’ he thought as tears spilled down his cheek. His ears stilled with the sound of the world crying along with him.

You won’t cry for my absence, I know –
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn’t something missing?
Isn’t someone missing me?

And as his thoughts tried to pull away from his mother they fell on thoughts of his old home. Knowing that while the wind howled and the rain beat against the walls Tohru was serving Shigure and Yuki dinner. Her ditzy little smile in place on her face before it was taken over by a worried look at the fact that the darn rat’s ‘secret base’ may be in danger.

She would probably try to venture out in the howling rain if Yuki didn’t kindly stop her. His politeness grating on Kyo’s nerves as the only one that really loved him, other then his Shishou, fell more in more in love with his enemy.

‘Yes… I know you will get over me Tohru…’ he thought bitterly.

Even with the tears she shed. Even as he was being slowly led away he watched as she drew close to Yuki for support. Her arms wanting to wrap around Yuki to be comforted by him was only kept still because of the curse. And he could feel his heart breaking… why couldn’t they see it as they silently watched him being taken away.

Would they even notice how quiet it was without him there? Would they thank Akito for the peace that now settled over the house because the accursed cat wasn’t there to argue with Yuki? That there was no immediate demand to get milk because he couldn’t live without it now that he was gone. They needn’t worry about whether to serve leeks or not. The house wasn’t victim now of falling apart at Kyo’s failed attempts to fight the darn rat now that he didn’t raom its halls.

Even though I’d be sacrificed,
You won’t try for me, not now.
Though I’d die to know you love me,
I’m all alone.
Isn’t someone missing me?

He can vaguely remember himself feeling bitter as he looked at his fellow classmates. Some shifting nervously as they turned in their chairs to see their parents and family members waiting proudly to see them walk across the stage. He could even remember an eye turn curiously to him at the bitter look he wore as they waited one by one to receive their diplomas on the nicely cropped lawn of the school.

“Cheer up Kyon Kyon this is our big day. Can you believe we are graduating?” came the voice of one of his classmates. They all began to muss up his hair, laughing as their grumpy friend scowled at them thinking it all in fun to tease him just a bit.

“Shut up my name isn’t Kyon Kyon and of course I know what day it is,” growled Kyo batting their hands out of his hair. He had dreaded this day coming but had found as his days came to an end that it didn’t matter. That he could never beat the darn rat in time to save him from his miserable fate.

“Oh whose a grumpy kitty cat,” cooed one Uo mockingly as she pat his head like he was a little child.

“Damn Yankee I’m not a—” began Kyo in irritation. ‘How the hell am I suppose to dwell on my fate if they keep trying to comfort and tease me,’ he thought bitterly, his red eyes flashing with anger.

“Shut up you darn cat and sit down properly,” snapped a voice in irritation.

He found himself turning in his chair to glare at Yuki behind him who said that. Not only was that dumb rat the president of their class but also was the frakking class valedictorian. He had gladly tuned out his speech that the gray haired mouse had been writing for the past month or so. No his thoughts were on the here and now and how, because of Yuki, he was going away.

His hands balled into fists imagining already how he’d like to wipe that smile off of Yuki’s face. His movements froze only because he saw something ahead of him catching his attention. Those damnable dark eyes were watching him in mild amusement. The promise of total damnation locked in the dark orbs of one Akito Sohma as he sat there with Hatori, an occasional cough coming from his pale lips.

Please, please forgive me,
But I won’t be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
Shudder deep and cry out:
"isn’t something missing?
Isn’t someone missing me? "

His thoughts were scattered and sporadically as he zipped from memory to memory. One minute zeroing on a moment with Shishou, the next moment zooming to a fight with Yuki. Sometimes the memories lasted for a few seconds or other times it stretched out; zeroing on one particular event like his departure.

Kagura was crying then… he remembered how she hugged tightly to that dumb backpack of hers; the one that she had created with her own hands with the red buttons for the orange cat’s eyes. He had always teased her about having that around with her but at that moment… at that moment he did something uncharacteristic.

He had drawn her into a hug and muttered something along the lines of ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t love you like you wanted me too.’ The slight brush of his lips against the soft flesh of her cheek gone in an instant before he quickly followed Akito. There was no use in upsetting the god at the beginning of his prison stay so he didn’t even bother. Didn’t even notice how Kagura stood their frozen, tears leaking from her eyes as she breathed his name softly under her breath.

Shigure was a vague memory, as he stood their not saying anything. The laughter and mischief in his eyes were gone for the moment as he watched his charge enter that black car. He watched silently as Kyo swung his pack over his shoulder with a few books, a bento box of rice balls from Tohru and some other things over his shoulder.

Hatori sat behind the wheel, gripping the steering wheel as he looked stoically ahead. He knew the dragon tried to tune out what was going on. Tried to ignore both Tohru and Kagura sobbing as Yuki tried to murmur comforting words to the both of them.

And Haru… Haru he didn’t even know how he ended up at Shigure’s house. But all he did was look vacantly ahead like he always did. He had ignored that as he clutched a useless roll of paper in his free hand. Kyo might as well have thought of it as the deed that had sealed his fate but it was in fact his diploma.

It lay now slightly tattered at the fringes on the dirt floor. Lying their innocently enough in the farthest corner away from him as he bemoaned his fate. The back of his hand scrubbed roughly across his eyes to wipe away the tears.

Even though I’d be sacrificed,
You won’t try for me, not now.
Though I’d die to know you love me,
I’m all alone.
Isn’t someone missing me?

It seemed that they all came to visit him at some point in time in the first two weeks of his imprisonment but he didn’t care. Not when he knew Shigure only came just to avoid his editor as he chattered about Sohma gossip. And when Tohru came it just tore him more up inside as he heard her hiccup and sob trying to force herself to talk cheerfully.

“And… and Sohma-san’s ‘secret base’ is flourishing nicely… The strawberries are coming in so it will be ready to harvest sooner then expected and… and… Kyo are you cold in there? If you want I can bring a blanket,” she cut off to stand up. He could sense when she had clutched the bars and looked inside.

But he had decided, as soon as she came, to curl up in a ball on his thin and soiling futon. His meager blanket thrown over his body as he tried to tune her out, his mind trying to think of different fighting moves his Shishou taught him.

‘Why does she come here? Doesn’t she know it hurts… hurts because I can’t have her? Give up on me… please,’ he wanted to say to her. He knew he was hurting her by doing this but she was hurting him more by staying. It came with a bitter relief when she stopped showing up entirely.

And not even Yuki, coming for his first and last time to curse him for hurting Honda-san’s feelings, could sway him. He just sat there cross-legged on his futon and looked right through Yuki, a look of complete nonchalance rolling over his body as he prodded the fresh cut from his bleeding lip with his tongue. It was a token of one of the family members paying him a visit at Akito’s orders just yesterday.

‘What would you do Yuki if you had Akito visit you at all hours of the day? Have his pale lips close to your ear whispering to you that you are useless and that you deserve to die alone. Then he’d send others to kick at you until your outsides match your insides. Until you were just as broken as a jigsaw puzzle,’ he thought. His mouth a thin line until Yuki finally gave up and left.

And if I bleed, I’ll bleed,
Knowing you don’t care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
And wake without you there,
Isn’t something missing?
Isn’t something...

He grasped the razor tightly in his hands once more as he tried to push his memories back at arms length. The cold metal bit into his hand until a bit of blood dribbles along the blade. He slices once more at the line he had created earlier before aborting that to press the tip along his wrist.

It was as if he could feel Akito behind him, leaning over him like a conspirator. Feel those pale lips whispering in his ear to do it. Slice at the veins in his wrist until he was washed in pain and then freedom. ‘Rid me of this cursed life that stained the Sohma family,’ he thought bitterly as his lips set in a grim line.

He was done with crying as he pressed the tip harder against the end of his wrist ready to slice quickly down it before something interrupted his suicidal thoughts.

“Dumb cat I know you’re in there so come out and fight!” slurred a voice through the racket of the storm.

Kyo found himself jarred form his morbid thoughts at the sound of a bottle smashing against the side of the wall outside. His cat ears able to pick up the sound even pass the howling of the wind. He allowed his fingers to lay his razor on the ground but tried to ignore the noise. ‘My imagination,’ he thought gruffly as silence reigned for a moment.

“Come out darn it. I know you are stronger then this so stop frakking hiding behind walls!” howled what sounded a lot like Haru.

‘Stupid cow doesn’t he know it’s the middle of the night nearly and it’s raining cats and dogs out there,’ he thought bitterly.

“Is it that you want to become Akito's lap dog? Is that why you given up so easily? Do you roll over for him and spread your legs to take in his—” sneered Haru before he was violently interrupted.

"SSSSHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTT UUUUPPPPPPPPP!" screamed Kyo, his eyes flashing with anger as his teeth gritted together. He shot to his feet so quickly that it left him almost dizzy as he turned around to face his accuser. ‘Why can’t he frakking leave me alone,’ he thought vehemently as he glared passed the bars of his cage.

“Hey… where is the door? Or did they lower the kitten in from the roof or something?” Haru laughed as he wrapped his gloved fingers around the bars. He tried to rattle them apart but there was no use. So he leaned forward to peer inside to see Kyo glaring at him in the poor lighting of the room.

“a*****e the door is on the other side,” grumbled Kyo in disgust. He was ready to slink back into the shadows but Haru wouldn’t let him. A headache already startied up as he kept his eyes reluctantly on the cow.

“Home sweet home, huh?” the cow asked in mock interest before he turned his head on the more interesting Kyo. “So are you going to fight me or not?” he asked raising an eyebrow.

“You frakking a** you are soaking wet in this… I don’t even know what that is all about out there,” Kyo growled waving his arms at the freak storm outside. “And all you can ask is if I want to fight. Do I look like I want to fight!” he yelled, panting with the effort. He was tired too argue but here he was doing it.

“Coward,” shot out Haru vehemently. His arm lay casually on the small ledge of the barred window as he continued to look inside. His o glove hand roaming up and down the cold bars slowly.

It was growing obvious to Kyo that this was indeed black Haru along with the fact that he was terribly drunk. His nose wrinkling in disgust at the strong smell of sake on his breathe that puffed into his cage. “Fine if you want a fight then get me out of here first,” huffed Kyo knowing that the dumb cow could not deliver.

“Fine,” Haru said with a shrug before disappearing from Kyo’s sight.

Kyo thinking this was his way of saying he gave up seemed to relax. His body was weak from the effort in trying to argue with such damnable weather outside. But just when he was ready to curl up on his cold futon to try to go to sleep he heard and felt his cage shutter.

“What the ********?” he cursed as he sat up from his futon. The razor he had managed to find was dropped as he saw Haru’s face peer at him from the barred window before the cage shuttered once more from a blow. “What do you think you are doing?” he ranted at the cow.

“Getting you out. So shut up and back away from the wall,” came Haru’s grunt before another slam.

Kyo was about to say something but kept silent as he watched as the wall slowly crumbled in. It took nearly twenty minutes before the sledgehammer that Haru was using broke a big enough hole through the wall. It was large enough that Haru could walk through if he stooped his head a bit.

“This is frakking unbelievable,” the cat mumbled aloud to himself. He vaguely thought about how no one didn’t come rushing outside to stop the crazed cow but realized that the storm had muffled the sound of the sledgehammer demolishing part of his cage.

“You’re free now!” waved Haru loftily to the pouring rain outside. “So are you going to frakking fight me or not?” asked Black Haru impatiently. He kicked away at a piece of rubble, his sledgehammer slung over his shoulder.

“a**,” Kyo breathed rolling his eyes as he slowly stumbled to his feet. He took a hesitant step forward before he found himself falling. His world sliding into darkness as he slowly lost consciousness. His body trembling, unnaturally warm in the cold room as Haru quickly scooped him in his arms.

“Kyo?” asked white Haru suddenly. He had transformed back to his normal self without really knowing it as he cradled the sick Kyo in his arms. The sweat on Kyo’s brow apparent as the lightening illuminated the room. The blood branching down short-tempered boy’s arm dripped onto the dirt floor from the cut he opened before he poofed into an orange cat.

“s**t!” Haru cursed before hurrying out of Kyo’s prison with Kyo’s small body clutched to his chest; the rain beating against them both.

Even though I’d be sacrificed,
You won’t try for me, not now.
Though I’d die to know you love me,
I’m all alone.
Isn’t someone missing me?

The End?

A/N: This will probably end up being a one-shot… but if you don’t want this to be then please review.

Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 9:25 pm

What? WHAT!? IT CAN'T BE A ONE SHOT. gonk I love HaruKyo to pieces. Please don't just leave it there. crying

palindrome88

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silvercharmer

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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 4:04 pm

write more write more its sooo awsome lol ^^ (has just turned into a harukyo fan because of this ^^)

Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 6:31 pm

gonk scream PLEASE CONTINUE!!

A Sleeping Darkness

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Yuki Kyoco

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Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 8:32 pm

you can't just stop there!!! it's too good to stop!!

Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 3:09 pm

Hello Shamanic Moon Goddess here and I thank you for reviewing. As I was saying in the last chapter, I love Kyo and Haru pairings… or for that matter Kyo and Shigure pairings. It’s so cute to see Kyo ruffled sometimes and they do that in the most interesting ways. Well anyway I do not own Fruits Basket. But I hope you enjoy and review because honestly my readers are what inspire me to write. Your reviews help fuel me to go on.

Missing Sanity

Chapter Two

Even if Haru had pulled his gray eyes away from Kyo’s furry face he knew he wouldn’t be able to navigate through the Sohma’s estate. He let out a pained sigh before his nose lightly nuzzled the soft fur of Kyo’s neck. He could sense the minuscule pulse of the feline as well as feel his warm breath against his cheek.

“Stay alive,” he breathed. Tears soaking the orange fur before Haru quickly blamed on the rain as he lifted his head up to see where he was. “Where should I…” he trailed off before hearing familiar laughter.

His boots slapped against the slick grass as he ran. Cursing himself silently for not bringing his coat so he could at least shelter Kyo from the brunt of the rain. His shoulders hunched as he drew the feline as close to his body’s heat as he could. His chin tucked under Kyo’s heaving side as he leapt onto the veranda.

His boots beat a tattooed beat against the floor before he called out. “Momiji! Momiji I know you are there,” he gasped out hoarsely. Part of him debating whether he should raise his voice louder but knowing that if he did then he might draw unneeded attention to himself.

He could hear it, faintly though, the sound of a television being cut off before feet began to run towards him. “I’m coming!” cried out the blonde haired boy as he pulled the door open. “Haru! You came to—” began Momiji before he was neatly cut off.

“Not know Momiji,” hissed Haru in a low voice. He looked at the rabbit seriously, the tranquil, almost vacant look on his face gone. His chocolate brown eyes demanded that Momiji listen closely and heed his words.

“Yes…” began Momiji before he trailed off. His fingers, curling around the doorframe soon, tighten as he saw what was tucked under the cow’s chin. “What a cute little… Kyo? Where did you—” began Momiji before aborting his sentence entirely. His jaw snapping close as he looked from the heaving cat to the serious cow. ‘How did Kyo escape?’ was what he wanted to ask but held his tongue still for the moment.

“Can we come inside?” asked Haru civilly. He looked at Momiji expectantly as if commenting on the weather. But while they talked the storm still howled behind them making the bunny shiver slightly from the cold.

“I… yes of course. Just go up to my bedroom and… you know what I’ll lead you there,” laughed Momiji nervously. He lightly tapped his head with his fist for being such a dummkopf. ‘Haru can’t even find his way out of a paper bag,’ sighed Momiji before brightening up.

Haru followed silently as Momiji led him upstairs to his room. His boots clomping up the stairs, as Momiji seemed to almost skip up them. Bounding quickly to his room before throwing the door open. “Here we are,” he chirped and ushered them in.

“Thanks,” Haru said gruffly. He gently settled Kyo in the middle of Momiji’s bed before he tried to use the corner of his sleeve to dry him off. The fact that he was soaking wet not quite entering his head as he focused his chocolate brown eyes on the feline.

“You’re dripping all over my floor,” gasped Momiji in horror. He quickly ran out the door before returning with a snowy white towel and threw it at the cow. “And you didn’t even take off your boots at the door,” sighed Momiji frowning in disapproval. ‘I just know Ha’ri will have my head for this,’ he pouted at his thoughts.

“Hmm?” Haru looked at Momiji puzzled before turning to look at the cat lying on Momiji’s bed once more. “Is that so…” he commented in his monotone voice.

A cry of protest went up from Momiji as Haru sat on the edge of his bed, knowing that when he finally stood up that there would be a wet spot. He crossed his arms with a sigh then tilted his head to the side. Curious caramel eyes watching as Haru took the feline up in his lap and began to gently dab him dry. “You really like him… don’t you Haru?” Momiji stated reflectively. The bunny obviously seeing the cow ignoring his own soaking body in favor of the cat.

Haru slowly turned his chocolate brown eyes to look at Momiji but the bunny’s caramel brown eyes were firmly focused on Kyo. He saw the worry that crept on the blonde’s face as the bunny scratched behind the cat’s ear absently. “I…” Haru began before Momiji gently cuts in.

“I should have known that something was up,” he sighed dramatically. He allowed his fingers to fall from Kyo’s ears so that his body rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, his hands behind his back. “It was so very obvious,” he tsked to himself, a faint smile ghosting across his lips.

“What do you mean? Of course I like him, he’s my cousin,” snapped Haru in slight irritation. It was obvious to all what kind of ‘like’ that Momiji meant but it didn’t mean Haru couldn’t use his sign to advantage and play the dumb ox. But he still had a bad feeling that the bunny wouldn’t just drop it so he just took a breath and prepared for the worst.

“It’s not just like with him is it? You llllooooovvvveeee him,” teased Momiji lightly. He made sure to stretch out the ‘L’ word nice and long, his eyes glowing with amusement.

He had to suppress a giggle as Haru narrowed his eyes at him making the bunny quickly wave his hands to call him down. He shook his head as well and took a step back not really wanting to have Black Haru make an appearance. ‘So touchy,’ he thought sadly before he delicately continued.

“I… even though you didn’t show it I could sense it,” sighed Momiji. He frowned thoughtfully wondering how he should choose his words. The bunny stopped his rocking to close his eyes. “In the music you listened to, in the way that you withdrew yourself from me and the others the closer it came to graduation and the fact that ‘Black Haru’ seemed to be lurking always at the surface. Don’t you think your best friend wouldn’t know these things?” laughed Momiji bitterly as his eyes glided open. “Do you underestimate me… so much?” His frown deepened as his fingers curling into fists in his frustration.

“It’s not like that Momiji. It’s just what was the use?” he sighed heavily looking down at the cat in his lap.

‘Yes what was the use when Kyo had given up,’ he thought bitterly. He could still remember how Kyo had began to assign away his things to school friends and his family as if he was truly going to die, not just be locked in a cage. His school friends brushing it off as their Kyon Kyon trying to give them something to remember him by in case he didn’t see them in a while. Which they were right to some point but it still didn’t make it right… it still didn’t make him pissed off that they couldn’t see Kyo’s sudden withdrawal.

“Haru…” Momiji trailed off in disappointment and sympathy allowing the cow to mull over a few things. He had seen the cow throwing wistful looks at someone. And he had hoped that his cousin would come out to him and tell him whom he had been crushing on so hard. But seeing as Haru wasn’t coming for anytime soon he had spied, even if he didn’t like his methods. And when he had learned who it was it seemed to make sense… well after the initial shock.

Hands quickly balled into fists as Haru tried to reel in his anger. He gritted his teeth trying to force down Black Haru who wanted to take over him badly and would have all but succeeded if it weren’t for how Momiji said his name. No matter how he tried he couldn’t stop the words from spewing out like curses into the air. “Why give my heart to someone who can never be free. I could never do that to myself… to him. IF I TOLD HIM I LOVED HIM THEN IT WOULD HAVE MADE IT SO MUCH DAMN HARDER FOR HIM TO LEAVE!”

“But if you told him at least he would know that someone loved him and then maybe… maybe he could say the s—” protested Momiji before quickly shutting up. Haru was on his feet now as he glared darkly at the rabbit.

“WOULD SAY WHAT? THE SAME?” jeered Haru parting one hand from Kyo’s sleeping body to wave it in the air. “AND WHAT THE ******** IF HE DIDN’T? HUH? HUH? AT LEAST BY NOT TELLING HIM MY HEART WOULDN’T BE BROKEN. BUT IT SEEMED THAT EVEN WITHOUT TELLING IT STILL GOT ******** BROKEN. AND GOD IF HE TOLD ME HE LOVED ME…. KNOWING THAT I WOULD HAVE ONLY ONE MOMENT OF ******** JOY BEFORE IT WAS STOLEN BY THAT b*****d AKITO I WOULD HAVE…” he trailed off not wanting to finish the sentence. He felt the beginnings of a headache coming off as he looked with irritation at the trembling rabbit.

Before Haru could reflect on his words or do something incredibly rash he thrust Kyo roughly into Momij’s arms and walked out. Black Haru not wanting to be around the trembling bunny right at that moment especially if he was going to laugh at his outburst or worse scold him. He stuffed away the inner voice that was probably ‘White Haru’ who wanted to reason with ‘Black.’ Wanting to say that his friend would never dare to make fun of him at a serious moment like this. But it didn’t stop him from feeling pissed off at being so weak and vulnerable right now at barring his feelings.

“Ah… I see,” murmured Momiji weakly to the sliding door that had been slammed closed. A thoughtful look was on his cherub like face while he stroked absently at the cat who was still unconscious. “Do you hear that you mean old cat? Someone loves you but it’s up to you to let him in that barrier around your heart,” he breathed in a conspirator’s voice in Kyo’s ear. “And if you break his heart… damn it Kyo I will force-feed you leeks for the rest of your life,” he smiled ruefully.

He watched with slight amusement that even in his unconscioness that Kyo’s cat ears flattened at the thought of leaks. A slight moan pulling from the cat’s lips, whether from the fever or the word was hard to tell. As with a sigh Momiji sat down on the edge of his bed only to leap up when he sat in Haru’s wet spot. A scowl quickly made an appearance on his cute little face.

MEANWHILE, IN THE HALLWAY

The cow slammed his fist against the wall as soon as he was far enough away. A curse stillborn on his lips as he looked behind him, his cheeks flushed from the confession. “I love him… when did that happen?” he asked dumbfounded as White Haru took over. His big brown eyes looked up at the ceiling as if it held the answer.

Part of him wanted to turn around and confront the blonde and the sleeping cat. His body was already turning before he snorted and made his way to find the bathroom realizing for what seemed the first time that he was soaking wet. His hands still clutched on the towel that he had dabbed Kyo with knowing that he would possibly have to use it to wrap around his waist later on after his shower.

‘Momiji doesn’t have any clothes in my size but I’m sure I left a few things over here…’ he mulled over in his head. His fingers griping the side of a door before sliding it open to see if it was the bathroom before sighing. “Nope… not it,” he reflected before closing it silently.

He padded off, his white hair starting to slowly dry in stiff little curls. He wanted to take a shower or something but even as thought this he began to let his surroundings sink in. A curse was ready on his lips before he whipped his head around. “Momiji!” he bellowed as he turned fully around. There was no way he was going to find his way back with so many doors.

And even as he took a hesitant step forward to try and figure whether it was the third door at the end of the hallway or the fourth he heard the sound of a door sliding open. A blonde head popped out into the hallway, first looking left then right before spotting Haru.

“Huh Haru?” he asked curiously. The bunny sighed inwardly glad that Haru seemed to be normal for the moment as he ventured further out.

“Where is Haa-san?” asked Haru carefully. A frown settled on his lips for forgetting that Momiji lived with Hatori. ‘And Haa-san is Akito’s lap dog no matter what,’ he thought bitterly as he tried to look calm. He pulled it off fairly well as the blonde tilted his head to the side in thought.

“Lets see…” drawled Momiji tapping his chin with one finger as he cradled Kyo to his side. “Oh he has gone to stay in a room close to Akito-sama. It seems he had a very sever asthma attack or something like that and he threaten to work his way into another one if he didn’t have Ha’ri there within eyesight of him,” sighed Momiji feeling sympathetic for the doctor.

“Wish he’d die already,” Haru breathed under his breath.

“What was that?” piped up Momiji curiously. But seeing Haru shrugging his shoulder gave up trying to push further.

“I have to go,” Haru said soberly. He quickly walked over to Momiji and plucked Kyo from the rabbit’s hands. His mind already going to see where the stairs were so that he could navigate down them to leave this accursed place. ‘Most keep Kyo safe,’ he thought, his mind set.

“Where are you… oh…” Momiji trailed off as realization dawned in his big innocent eyes. “I’m going with you,” he cried out quickly. “This storm is the best cover we have to get him to a place to recover. If we… If we try to get him out tomorrow it may be too late,” Momiji said solemnly.

Before Haru could say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to the bunny he saw the blonde quickly running to his room. The older teenager sighed and waited for his cousin to return with a medium sized bag, and a small blanket. “Wrap him in this,” Momiji ordered before he pushed pass Haru thrusting the blanket at the older boy.

For a moment the older teen tilted his head slightly amused at the more serious Momiji. It wasn’t that he had never seen Momiji acting seriously, far from it. It was just that it was rare to see it sometimes because Momiji preferred to act more carefree and childish so that you almost find yourself forgetting that he had a serious side. With a look of gratitude in his eyes that the bunny couldn’t see Haru quickly followed behind before he could get lost.

His fingers wrapping the blanket over the shivering cat as the bunny made a pit stop in the kitchen. Haru vaguely seeing a few apples, a small first aid kit and some left over rice balls stuffed into the bag. And even before the cow could open his mouth to speak Momiji whipped out a bus schedule that laid on a nearby coffee table.

“Bus is coming,” he announced. “Or should,” he sighed as he looked outside. “Come on Haru,” he smiled weakly before quickly putting a raincoat over his lavender pajamas with the bunny motif on it. “Oh grab that umbrella too,” he commanded before opening the door. His feet already stuffed in his shoes before he walked into the elements. “Wow it’s pouring,” he gasped.

Holding back the sudden urge for him to roll his eyes at Momiji’s comment Haru ventured to speak. “Thank you,” sighed Haru in deep appreciation. A bit of peace washing over him as he saw the blonde friend smiled reassuringly and pat his arm before quickly walking across the lawn.

“Hey what are friends for? But if you really want to thank me you can tell me one thing,” he nearly had to yell over the howling wind. It took almost everything to keep the pink umbrella with the baby blue umbrella with the baby duck from wrestling out of the bunny’s hand.

“And that is…!” yelled out Haru following suit. He had once more tucked Kyo under his chin while throwing the loose end of his blanket over his head to protect it even thought it would still get soak anyway.

“Does this mean you and Kyo are going to elope?” bubbled Momiji excitedly. He clapped his hands together at the thought as his eyes brightened up. As they quickly made their way out of the Sohma’s main entrance they quickly wound their way to the bus stop with Momiji chattering on. “Oh this is like something out Shii-chan’s novels,” giggled Momiji before covering his mouth. He looked timidly at Haru hoping that he didn’t bring out Black Haru; they didn’t really didn’t need him right now in this situation.

But even as his caramel eyes settled on the boy with the two-colored hair they found the bus miraculously pulling at their stop. A quick murmur of thanks was murmured to the bus driver before the rabbit slipped the yen for Haru and him into the ticket machine. The metal box spitting out two tickets for them before they made their way back.

Momiji looked with slight interest at three people that managed to take the bus. He nearly skipped to the very back before plopping down. His eyes looked expectantly at his cousin to settle down himself. His long legs kicking back and forth as he hummed softly at a song Haru didn’t feel like identifying quite yet.

“Seems we aren’t the only ones,” commented Haru blandly as he settled in his seat. He tugged the blankets slightly down to check and see if Kyo was okay. ‘All of me wants him to turn back from a cat to his human form. But the rest of knows that if that happens I’ll have to explain why I have a naked, albeit hot guy in my arms wrapped only in a blanket,’ he thought with a sigh.

They had really hoped that they would reach the motel before they had to worry about Kyo transforming and had thanked god that it hadn’t happened when they were on the bus. But it had been barely a few feet that they walked away from the bus before they heard the familiar sound of a zodiac animal changing with a puff of smoke.

Momiji seemed to grin and tried to hold back a mischievous comment as Haru tried to fight back the blush that stained his cheeks. Not even he the cow, with his stoic and tranquil look, could look at Kyo wrapped loosely in only a blanket and not be effected. Whether positively or negatively depended on who was looking at him but if Haru were to be honest he thought his kitten looked sexy.

‘My kitten?’ he thought a puzzled look fleeting across his face. He would have liked to ponder this further but he found the bunny was quickly escaping so that with a protest he jogged to catch up. His arms shifting Kyo in his arm and adjusting his blanket the best he could so that the boy was decent enough if they ran into somebody. And just as he pulled even with the rabbit he found Momiji waving him to a stop.

“I’m going inside to get a room okay Haru? I don’t think that the clerk would appreciate it if you came in with a naked guy wrapped in a bed sheet. He might think things…” Momiji trailed with a small smile. There was a mischief glint in his eyes despite himself and it was all he could to bite his bottom lip and keep still.

“Like what?” Haru tried to look innocently at him even as amusement shone in his voice. He wondered what the bunny thought the cashier might do if he strolled in there as if it was his god given right while holding his precious cargo. ‘If he was a old coot he’d probably have a hard attack or something,’ he thought in amusement. He repressed the need to see what reaction he could raise out of the cashier.

“That you were trying to take advantage of our poor Kyo,” sighed Momiji dramatically. His fingers absently ran through Kyo’s bangs glad that Haru had managed to hold up his umbrella so that Kyo was relatively dry. “So like I said I’m going to get a room with a queen sized bed seeing as you’re going to be spending the night with our sick patient. I would say I would join too but I know that Ha’ri will come as soon as the storm broke and Akito is well to check on me. And you know how he is sometimes with protectiveness,” grumbled Momiji rolling his eyes.

“Yeah but it’s fun trying to see how many buttons you can press before the poor doctor nearly snaps,” conceded Haru with a brief smile. He was feeling slightly irritated at the fact that first the bunny called Kyo ‘our’ and that he had dared to touch him. If it wasn’t Black Haru trying to rear it’s head and be possessive and destructive then he didn’t know what was. He just leaned his back against a building close to the motel and nodded Momiji to go.

His chocolate brown eyes followed the bunny for a while watching as slim fingers straightened a raincoat and smoothed a lavender pant’s leg before walking inside. He lifted his eyebrow in amusement as Momiji stepped inside to order a room wondering if the cashier would think Momiji too young. But seeing as it might a while for the rabbit to convince the cashier he settled on gazing at Kyo.

His arms shifted so that he could manage to trace Kyo’s features with his fingertips. From the lips that parted to take in air as the cat panted to the high cheekbones that were soften by the flesh of now flushed cheeks. He lifted his knee too steady Kyo as he quickly brushed his unruly orange bangs from the cat’s face.

He could easily remember what had made him fall so hard for the cat when he was so close to him. His heart sped up as he fell back onto that night, his tongue running over his lips at the memory.

FLASHBACK

Haru had been ushered into what appeared to be Kyo’s room as he stood dripping wet. A look of surprised confusion flickering across his face as he looked at his new surroundings. He had vaguely remembered coming here rarely seeing as whenever he did that Kyo quickly ushered him out before yelling the direction of his ‘Yuki.’

He seemed slightly amused as the flustered Tohru closed the sliding door for him before bustling away. He had made the error of taking what Sensei had said ‘literally’ and had tried to take off his clothes when he complained about Haru catching his death if he didn’t take off those clothes quickly. He snorted and shook his head as he began to undress before riffling through Kyo’s things for a pair of clothes to wear.

He vaguely remembered that Yuki cautioned him not to try and put on, ‘that damn cat’s as he so eloquently put it, cargo pants or favorite black shirt that he wore. Which as the cow raised his eyebrow, seemed to be a lot of. But then again he shouldn’t talk because he had a lot of black clothes. Which though was a variety still seemed nearly similar so that Haa-san threaten to cut his allowance if he bought anymore.

He smiled faintly at the thought of the strict doctor before choosing a pair of black slacks that he could have sworn the cat had never warn before pulling out an old. ‘He’d kill me if he’d find out,’ thought Haru with a smirk. He wished that he could tell the information to his Prince but he was afraid he would be under the receiving end of a glare or even harsh words.

Oh he could take it all right but it didn’t mean he really preferred it. He grimaced at the thought of the disgust on Yuki’s face when he finally snapped back to White Haru. He didn’t know what he had done but from the indication of the lump on his head Yuki had had to revert to action to snap him out of it. Part of him wanted to open his mouth to ask him what he had done… said but he quickly closed his mouth unless he dug himself a deeper grave.

Today seemed to be the first time in nearly two weeks that Yuki had spoken to him and it had filled Haru with budding hope. But that still didn’t mean he was crazy enough to cling on his arm like he would prefer to. So with a sigh he settled himself in the middle of Kyo’s bed ‘Indian style’ and leaned forward to pluck what seemed to be a Gameboy Advance from Kyo’s bed stand.

His fingers already snapped it open and the screen flashed first Nintendo along with some other advertisers before it stared up with an old Diddy Kong Country Game. He had decided to start from scratch not even bothering to move in the dying night of the day seen between the still raining sky.

He barely even noticed Kyo coming in as he yanked the Game boy to left with him as he maneuvered over tough terrain. His tongue stuck out a bit in concentration while the music was turned way down so he couldn’t hear the annoying pinging noises. No he didn’t notice Kyo’s dripping form until he heard the first plop of wet clothes hitting the floor.

Slowly with half an eye on his game he glanced up to say ‘hi’ to Kyo but he froze. His eyes widen in surprise, as his game lay forgotten in his hands. His tongue licked at suddenly dry lips at the sight of what he saw.

He watched silently as Kyo frowned at the window, not even noticing the presence sitting right on his bed. His chrisom eyes caught the last rays of the light and his tanned skin seemed to glow as he pulled off the t-shirt and plopped it down next to his shirt. His beads tinkling slightly as Kyo murmured something about ‘Damn rain.’

He followed the long capable fingers that unzipped his pants before tugging them down. His slim hips wiggling as he tried to push them off with a small grunt. His feet kicking away the remains of the pants before he stood brooding against the window.

The sight of tan flesh and dusky nipples turned away as the cat gazed out of the window. But even then the cow couldn’t help but trace Kyo’s slender form knowing that lean muscles played across his tan skin. His orange hair nearly dried up in spikes before Kyo rubbed his hands in his hair before stretching on his tiptoes. Nearly pouting lips stretched apart to allow the yawn to burrow out revealing canines that were unusually sharp.

Haru had thought that Yuki was beautiful… but Yuki was beautiful in a feminine way with his porcelain skin and delicate skin. Though he seemed approachable Yuki was almost like a porcelain doll… but Kyo… Kyo was so damn… exotic.

Chrisom eyes that flashed brilliantly with challenge with lips that could easily flicker from frown to sneer to a true smile in a blank of an eye. This was the one who seemed to draw people close against his will even though he put up a front of not liking the attention. He was an exotic tiger and Yuki seemed a mere mousy in font of Kyo’s masculinity.

Haru blinked not knowing that he could wax on so poetically. ‘Maybe it’s from being near Sensei,’ he thought with a bit of a smile. He opened his mouth again to speak and warned Kyo of his presence before the cat began to take of his also damp black boxers, his chrisom eyes darting to the noise, a frown on his lips as spotted the disturbance.

“It’s you,” grumbled Kyo put off as he stayed his fingers. A nice please of flesh easily seen pass his lips before it was interrupted by the boxers. Haru was tempted to yank them fully down to see all of Kyo but bit the side of his cheek to stop him. He had tensed up waiting for Kyo to shout at him and throw him out like he normally did. And had even opened his mouth to speak before he was waved off.

The bed dipped slightly as Kyo sat down on the edge and stretched his arms once more. Lean muscles seeming to barely ripple across his tan back as his fingers stretched to the ceiling before he laid back on his arms, his back brushing against Haru’s feet. “Why the hell are you here?” Kyo drawled lazily.

Those chrisom eyes focused on him as if Haru was simply here as audience to his royal highness Kyo. Before the cow realized it Kyo was resting his head in the cow’s lap, pushing the Gameboy to the side so that he could have more leisure room as he curled up into a comfortable ball.

“I… I got lost,” Haru relented to hear the soft chuckle of Kyo instead of an all out guffaw.

“I would say stupid cow but Yuki had ungracefully reminded me that if I had just turned on the ******** new station I would have known there was a good chance of rain. But like you can always believes those damn weatherman. They don’t always predict things right,” he mumbled trying to defend his decision for not checking the weather.

“You don’t like rain, huh?” asked Haru timidly as he ran his fingers through Kyo’s hair.

“Rain, snow, hail, sprinklers. Any water that falls from the sky in any form is something I hate,” he grimaced as he leaned into the touch. “It’s just that it feels so draining that I can barely retort a damn comment to that damn rat boy,” he scuffed before tugging playfully at Haru’s black shirt. “You’re wearing my clothes aren’t you, stupid cow,” Kyo said more as a statement but his words carried no venom like it should have.

“But Sensei said you like taking your baths though?” Haru countered changing the subject. He had to bite his lip to stop himself picturing what Kyo would look like in a bathtub with only bubbles covering him and a wicked smile. With a vicious shake of his head he looked at the tired cat.

“Of course. Mmm didn’t someone say cleanliness is next to godliness somewhere,” Kyo yawned showing his pearly whites before closing his eyes. “I’m ******** god. Well at least more of a god then that damn Akito,” he scuffed as he closed his eyes with a roll of his eyes.

Haru stared for a moment at Kyo’s sleeping face unable to believe that this tempting cat lay in his lap only clothed in his boxers. He could barely remember telling Tohru-chan once that he did like Kyo… just that Yuki meant more then him. He found right now that he was leaning more towards the fiery orange top kitten then the reclusive mousy.

The smallest of smiles played across in silent pleasure when Kyo grabbed his shirt tightly in his fist when the cow tried to shift to get comfortable. “So the tiger is only a kitten,” he chuckled lightly before leaning close. Tempted to kiss him but not daring to be rejected as he was so many times before.

END FLASHBACK

The cow desperately wanted to press his lips against the cat’s just to know what they would feel like since he doubted that Kyo would allow him if he had been conscious. ‘I’ve wanted to do this for so long,’ he sighed as he lowered his closer.

He hovered his lips over the cat’s on, feeling warm air buffeting his face from the cat’s difficult breathing. He was so achingly close as his eyes eased close that he barely registered Momiji coming close until the bunny yelled out to him.

“Haru I got the keys—What are you doing?” he aborted one question for another as he looked curiously at his cousin. A mischievous smile spread over his lips that would have made Sensei proud if he could only see it.

Haru jerked his head away and glared at the rabbit before standing up straighter “Let’s go,” he prompted before he followed the rabbit. Only looking at him when it proved necessary to see where the motel room was while ignoring Momiji’s curious looks.

Haru would go anywhere if need be if it would provide a safe haven for his Kyo. Even if the place happens to smell of cheap cologne, stale cigarette smoke and Mr. Clean. It was at least away from Akito’s influence for the temporary moment.

To be continued…

A/N: I gave you another chapter and part of me is battling on whether I should give up. I really thought of giving up this story as far as posting it here... but I guess I can continue if people comment on it.

Ja Mata