Welcome to Gaia! ::

Please share your very bawdiest songs, that you won't sing in daylight or in the (even potential) presence of smalls.

I'm also in desperate need of dirty limericks, preferably about aspects of the SCA and/or mentioning specific kingdoms.

Sample (written by me this morning):
There once was a knight from Caid
Who sometimes would lie with his steed
His wife wasn't kind
And his horse doesn't mind
So let's to the barn with all speed!

Wonderful! Thanks a lot!

The girls of Trimaris
Are hot where their hair is
And so's a Meridies maid.
The girls of the Middle
Will cuddle. A little.
But AnTir is where you'll get laid.

If you like round asses,
Try out Eastern Lasses
For bosoms you'll have to go West.
But if you crave thighs
And passionate sighs
The wenches of AnTir are best.

Out in Atenveldt
They'll go down on a Celt,
But in Ansteorra they bite!
Out in Calontir
They screw _once_ a year
But in AnTir they screw every night!

Drachenwald girls
Will do it for pearls,
Atlantians do it for jade.
But is you crave dames
Like consuming flames
Try an AnTirian maid.

In Caid they'll put out
For a flagon of stout.
Outlanders do it for mead.
But here, in AnTir,
They buy YOU the beer
And give you whatever you need!


and between each verse is:

Hey nonny nonny, hey nonny nonny,
Let's give a cheer,
Let's give a cheer for the maids of AnTir!
Hey nonny nonny, hey nonny nonny,
Let's give a cheer,
For the Naughty Young Maids of AnTir!


Yeah. I'm an AnTir Chick.

Ah! Seven drunken nights! biggrin


"Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
They're two lovely Geranium pots me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But laces in Geranium pots I never saw before"

(that's the chorus for the verse about the boots. The chorus changes every time pertaining to the different things the singer finds.)

It's called Seven Drunken Nights and here are the lyrics:

As I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a horse outside the door where my old horse should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be?

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see
That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a coat behind the door where my old coat should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should be

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see
That's a wool blanket that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But buttons in a blanket sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But tobacco in a tin whistle sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Thursday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see
They're two lovely Geranium pots me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But laces in Geranium pots I never saw before

And as I went home on Friday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a head upon the bed where my old head should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that head upon the bed where my old head should be

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see
That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Saturday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two hands upon her breasts where my old hands should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them hands upon your breasts where my old hands should be

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see
That's a lovely night gown that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But fingers in a night gown sure I never saw before

As I went home on Sunday night as drunk as drunk could be
I lad sneaking out the back, a quarter after three.
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who was that lad sneaking out the back a quarter after three?

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see
That was just the tax man that the Queen she sent to me.
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But an Englishman who can last till three I've never seen before

There are hundreds of verses to this--if not more. We make a game of how long we can go making up new verses. Six of us sang this for nearly an hour once.

There's also a longer chorus:

Oh, drink a little bit, ******** a little bit, follow the band
Follow the band with your balls in your hand (toot toot!)
Drink a little bit, ******** a little bit, follow the band
Follow the band all the way!

Wow. I've never been to AnTir, but it sounds like a magical place.

awww, I was going to port the naughty young maids of An Tir. But TheSteven beat me to it!

I cant remember the words, but it was made in Avacl about one of the past An Tir kings, Duke Rorick(thats probably not spelled right. Lame that I am in his household, but dont know how to spell the name).

its pretty much a song about him trapping himself in the biffy one night.

Its an amazeingly chatchy... I just have not heard it for over a year.