"Did you know? On Valentines Day, one out of fourteen couples break up?"
Came a hoarse gruff disembodied voice, bearing a question of factual knowledge.
Out on stage steps a gavish grinning Guy Cancer, walking in stroll, mic in hand, to center! "It's true! No lie! So you lonely douche monkeys out there can rest easy! No heartbreak for you! Don't you feel better about being so worthless now?!" The crowd answered back in dissatisfaction! "See? That's why I didn't wanna come back to all you ungratefuls! You're welcome by the way."
Fox sniffed condescendingly, as his audienced rained on in spitting disdain!
That happy go-lucky smile transformed into a soul ripping scowl! "This is the greeting I get?! Here I am! A five time champion! Whole buncha mid tier belts! Five time tag champ! Even a two time women's champ, to get that cream ta rise to the top!" Pompously puffing his chest in pride to that achievement! And continuing on, despite hateful boos, he stuck up two fingers! "I am a two time! Two time Hall of Famer, with an insane amount of accomplishments! And all I get backstage, is everyone bothering me 'bout that one night! Ah keep telling them! Don't member much from it! But hooo-man! Woke up fighting for my life! I took every option available! Experimental! Techno.. uh-uh, new age.. uh, robo crap-nological thing they had! I had the money-HAD!"
Fox shouting now! Yeling into his microphone to be heard over the ignorant jeers, that didn't seem to care!
"Ended up blowing it all to get back in perfect form! Even better now! Nothing hurts, no aches, pains, or clickity-clack creaking bones!"
If the people wanted to be rude, so would he. Taking a pause to dig out a mashed pack of gum, crumpled into a ball. While fans made their useless threats and depraved profanities, Fox pulled a piece from his scrunch pack. breaking in picking, he ripped into it.. foil and paper frittering down to his feet. A couple of broken pieces fell, along with some whole ones.
Finally, getting a satisfied amount into his mouth and chewing contently, the volume had lowered to his desire.
"shlk~shlk The real question those backstage ask-a-lot dopes need to be asking is.. shlk~shlk Why am I back? Why did I call up Emo Stinkin' E?!
Why not my good ole chap, King Carty?! Or even just show up on my own for a mega shurprise-oop?!"
Wad fumbled out and plopping to the rest of his litter, residing at his feet. Yet he superiorly paid no mind, as he waited for suspensional effect! "Because nunya-bizness! It was always transactional with us! I show up, do my biz and you give me money! That's it! Y'always made it a toxic place to work! Think I wanna come back to look at you puke licking ugly sacks of your momma's yesterday's garbage?! Nuh-huh! Always telling me I suck! How does Cartwright do it?! I see why he always chillin' in his office like the boss he is! I wanna hide from you ungrateful pricks too!
Unfortunately, all y'all are a broke target audience! You're poor! And the main man, Cart is doing his damn best to work with cheap trash!"
Good for Fox! Getting all that off his chest! Venting his mind clear to a response of jeers! Not really caring in kind, a cleansed and relaxed Fox carried on.
"Now, Cart's a pal. He is. Buuuut.. he ain't slipping what Emiko's dripping. So, that's why I reached out to my protege!
She's got money! Moolah! Dinero! You don't even know! It's all about taking bread to the bank! Yeah! I'm in it for the figures!"
Fox let that fantastic fact fly out and settle in fans fizzled out bland grade brains, while he lowered his snide grinning face, to adjust those luxury brand shades!
"Really should be thanking me. Praising me." Raising head back up to examine all the disgusting faces that faced his scowl. "This place is in desperate need of star material! I mean you got a buncha animals on the card! A white tiger, a cow, a tiger with a hat, a snake named Rex!
That's a name for a dog! And it's gonna fight a coughing salesman? Kudos to Cart, managing an attraction for bottom of the barrel stuff!
Then I see my girl.. in the second match?! That's bottom list! Not good enough to start the show and no where near main event!
So, I just had up to spot up on her situation!"
Fox screamed! Rightfully outraged!
Turning a shoulder to his audience that just wanted him to leave already, Fox snaked a hand into his hair, ruffling it. He needed a moment to calm down. These idiots in front of him were working him up too much! Fortunately, within the hour, he had drank a potion of Tequila Chill and was good in a matter of seconds
Dropping hand from noggin, Fox went at it again, questioning his crowd of the clueless class!
"Why is the one, I chose to take under my wing, garbage?!" Head shaking in disappointment, Fox grumbled. "Sad, sad, turn of events. Without me.. She ******** up. Big time. Choked! Got all wound up like women do! Worry this! Worry that! Crying about a baby, she ho'd her booty to! That coughing salesman, trying to make a sale to that ex-champ! Get that easy mode for her, networking a good word in for her! Instead, she trying to capitalize some other belt! Dang! Slow down! Get that cheese off the trap, before eating it, ya rat!"
Fans roared Mix of boos, cheers and laughter! Confusion and unrest, left many in attendance, unsettled! Where did Fox stand? With Cartwright? Emiko? Himself? Duh, of course himself! But didn't Emiko bring him in?! Why was tearing her down?! Oh! Hold on! Fox has his hand up! Attention! He has more to say! Maybe an answer to this nonsense, we can get some sense?!
"Now look. No cheese for you. Done. You shot yourself so bad, not even I.. ME! The Fox! A living legend! I can't even patch this gross! Gaping!" Express of revulsion ravaged his face! "Reeking! Wound!" Oh no! Just thinking of it had Fox gagging dramatically! Tongue out in his act of near upchuck! Don't do it! Don't puke! Monkey see, monkey do! All these fans will drench themselves! "Stinks to high heaven!" Phew! Thankfully, Fox pulled it together and wiped his mouth, gave an exasperated breath! "Wow.. just wow.. despite all her raving, tootin', nut case nagging.. she made way to my heart." Aw, who knew Fox had a heart all along?! Fox patted his right rib, while looking around in confusion, as to why no one was moved by this. Then paused, staying still.
Almost robotically, looking left, then right..
And his face morphed into a grotesque, hostile grimace!
"And I hate it!!" Fox took a stomp in emphasis to this! "All the work!" Again another stomp! "Drama!" Stomp! "Challenges!" Stomp! "Disrespect!" STOMP! Fox jumped on that one!
"Like a friggin' child! She's grown to be more than a protege to me! Like the daughter I never had! Now I'mma be in her life whether she likes it or not!
Dragging me up here all for nothing! I can't do anything for her disgruntled a**!"
Wait. Didn't he reach out to her? What's going on here?!
Glowering down on the floor, Fox took a moment to huff away those worked up frustrations, while fans amused themselves in mockery of his tantrum performance!
Head suddenly snapping up, with that happy-go-lucky smile! There it is! Such a happy Fox!
"No worries! I've got well placed faith in Cart, while my Emo agent pays me to be here! Thanks for nothing losers! I'm on the way to a big payday!"
Flipping the mic out his hand in a high toss spin! Fox turned, stepping away in stroll for the exit, before the mic drop!
.. Why was Fox out here?
Came a hoarse gruff disembodied voice, bearing a question of factual knowledge.
Out on stage steps a gavish grinning Guy Cancer, walking in stroll, mic in hand, to center! "It's true! No lie! So you lonely douche monkeys out there can rest easy! No heartbreak for you! Don't you feel better about being so worthless now?!" The crowd answered back in dissatisfaction! "See? That's why I didn't wanna come back to all you ungratefuls! You're welcome by the way."
Fox sniffed condescendingly, as his audienced rained on in spitting disdain!
That happy go-lucky smile transformed into a soul ripping scowl! "This is the greeting I get?! Here I am! A five time champion! Whole buncha mid tier belts! Five time tag champ! Even a two time women's champ, to get that cream ta rise to the top!" Pompously puffing his chest in pride to that achievement! And continuing on, despite hateful boos, he stuck up two fingers! "I am a two time! Two time Hall of Famer, with an insane amount of accomplishments! And all I get backstage, is everyone bothering me 'bout that one night! Ah keep telling them! Don't member much from it! But hooo-man! Woke up fighting for my life! I took every option available! Experimental! Techno.. uh-uh, new age.. uh, robo crap-nological thing they had! I had the money-HAD!"
Fox shouting now! Yeling into his microphone to be heard over the ignorant jeers, that didn't seem to care!
"Ended up blowing it all to get back in perfect form! Even better now! Nothing hurts, no aches, pains, or clickity-clack creaking bones!"
If the people wanted to be rude, so would he. Taking a pause to dig out a mashed pack of gum, crumpled into a ball. While fans made their useless threats and depraved profanities, Fox pulled a piece from his scrunch pack. breaking in picking, he ripped into it.. foil and paper frittering down to his feet. A couple of broken pieces fell, along with some whole ones.
Finally, getting a satisfied amount into his mouth and chewing contently, the volume had lowered to his desire.
"shlk~shlk The real question those backstage ask-a-lot dopes need to be asking is.. shlk~shlk Why am I back? Why did I call up Emo Stinkin' E?!
Why not my good ole chap, King Carty?! Or even just show up on my own for a mega shurprise-oop?!"
Wad fumbled out and plopping to the rest of his litter, residing at his feet. Yet he superiorly paid no mind, as he waited for suspensional effect! "Because nunya-bizness! It was always transactional with us! I show up, do my biz and you give me money! That's it! Y'always made it a toxic place to work! Think I wanna come back to look at you puke licking ugly sacks of your momma's yesterday's garbage?! Nuh-huh! Always telling me I suck! How does Cartwright do it?! I see why he always chillin' in his office like the boss he is! I wanna hide from you ungrateful pricks too!
Unfortunately, all y'all are a broke target audience! You're poor! And the main man, Cart is doing his damn best to work with cheap trash!"
Good for Fox! Getting all that off his chest! Venting his mind clear to a response of jeers! Not really caring in kind, a cleansed and relaxed Fox carried on.
"Now, Cart's a pal. He is. Buuuut.. he ain't slipping what Emiko's dripping. So, that's why I reached out to my protege!
She's got money! Moolah! Dinero! You don't even know! It's all about taking bread to the bank! Yeah! I'm in it for the figures!"
Fox let that fantastic fact fly out and settle in fans fizzled out bland grade brains, while he lowered his snide grinning face, to adjust those luxury brand shades!
"Really should be thanking me. Praising me." Raising head back up to examine all the disgusting faces that faced his scowl. "This place is in desperate need of star material! I mean you got a buncha animals on the card! A white tiger, a cow, a tiger with a hat, a snake named Rex!
That's a name for a dog! And it's gonna fight a coughing salesman? Kudos to Cart, managing an attraction for bottom of the barrel stuff!
Then I see my girl.. in the second match?! That's bottom list! Not good enough to start the show and no where near main event!
So, I just had up to spot up on her situation!"
Fox screamed! Rightfully outraged!
Turning a shoulder to his audience that just wanted him to leave already, Fox snaked a hand into his hair, ruffling it. He needed a moment to calm down. These idiots in front of him were working him up too much! Fortunately, within the hour, he had drank a potion of Tequila Chill and was good in a matter of seconds
Dropping hand from noggin, Fox went at it again, questioning his crowd of the clueless class!
"Why is the one, I chose to take under my wing, garbage?!" Head shaking in disappointment, Fox grumbled. "Sad, sad, turn of events. Without me.. She ******** up. Big time. Choked! Got all wound up like women do! Worry this! Worry that! Crying about a baby, she ho'd her booty to! That coughing salesman, trying to make a sale to that ex-champ! Get that easy mode for her, networking a good word in for her! Instead, she trying to capitalize some other belt! Dang! Slow down! Get that cheese off the trap, before eating it, ya rat!"
Fans roared Mix of boos, cheers and laughter! Confusion and unrest, left many in attendance, unsettled! Where did Fox stand? With Cartwright? Emiko? Himself? Duh, of course himself! But didn't Emiko bring him in?! Why was tearing her down?! Oh! Hold on! Fox has his hand up! Attention! He has more to say! Maybe an answer to this nonsense, we can get some sense?!
"Now look. No cheese for you. Done. You shot yourself so bad, not even I.. ME! The Fox! A living legend! I can't even patch this gross! Gaping!" Express of revulsion ravaged his face! "Reeking! Wound!" Oh no! Just thinking of it had Fox gagging dramatically! Tongue out in his act of near upchuck! Don't do it! Don't puke! Monkey see, monkey do! All these fans will drench themselves! "Stinks to high heaven!" Phew! Thankfully, Fox pulled it together and wiped his mouth, gave an exasperated breath! "Wow.. just wow.. despite all her raving, tootin', nut case nagging.. she made way to my heart." Aw, who knew Fox had a heart all along?! Fox patted his right rib, while looking around in confusion, as to why no one was moved by this. Then paused, staying still.
Almost robotically, looking left, then right..
And his face morphed into a grotesque, hostile grimace!
"And I hate it!!" Fox took a stomp in emphasis to this! "All the work!" Again another stomp! "Drama!" Stomp! "Challenges!" Stomp! "Disrespect!" STOMP! Fox jumped on that one!
"Like a friggin' child! She's grown to be more than a protege to me! Like the daughter I never had! Now I'mma be in her life whether she likes it or not!
Dragging me up here all for nothing! I can't do anything for her disgruntled a**!"
Wait. Didn't he reach out to her? What's going on here?!
Glowering down on the floor, Fox took a moment to huff away those worked up frustrations, while fans amused themselves in mockery of his tantrum performance!
Head suddenly snapping up, with that happy-go-lucky smile! There it is! Such a happy Fox!
"No worries! I've got well placed faith in Cart, while my Emo agent pays me to be here! Thanks for nothing losers! I'm on the way to a big payday!"
Flipping the mic out his hand in a high toss spin! Fox turned, stepping away in stroll for the exit, before the mic drop!
.. Why was Fox out here?