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 Posted: Sat Nov 23, 2019 3:18 am
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Hi, nice to meet you, I'm BigSunCowboy (or BigSun, or Sun, or just Cowboy is fine)!
I once had a Gaia account over ten years ago but because of trauma and resulting ptsd I don't have very clear memory of my past and can't remember at all what being on this site was like. So, a couple of days ago I decided to try making a new account to see what the site would be like now.
Honestly, been kind of fun and interesting rejoining this, particularly because so much of who I was has changed since when I had my old account, and being in online spaces being myself openly when in the past I was too afraid or too confused to understand how to do that is pretty darn liberating. I'm now openly neurodivergent, trans, nonbinary and queer, and for the last seven years have become disabled with chronic illness/pain which makes me now mostly housebound.
All those aspects of my life, and how vastly different my life is from my past make it really interesting to reflect on things I used to enjoy, and realize just how different and generally happier and more sure of myself I am now. It's honestly really meaningful to discover that and further realize that. heart emotion_rainbow
This site has also been a somewhat helpful distraction for me too from my daily suffering with chronic pain and the stress of living as an impoverished, disabled, openly queer and trans person in a world that mistreats and otherizes people for those things. I guess all this is to say, whenever I can find distractions that are generally non-harmful, and spaces on the internet that don't villainize marginalized peoples for our existence, it's always pretty nice and brings me some much needed joy. heart
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Posted: Sat Nov 23, 2019 4:03 am
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Posted: Sat Nov 23, 2019 2:06 pm
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Posted: Mon Nov 25, 2019 9:03 pm
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Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2019 6:12 pm
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Posted: Thu Nov 28, 2019 10:04 am
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Posted: Thu Nov 28, 2019 10:11 am
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sdrawkcab Welcome! My gosh, ten years ago, the Cash Shop was still relatively new. XD; How time flies~
I hope you find joy here and, please, be all of who you are. ^ ___^
Yeah, Gaia was completely different from the tiiiiny little bit I do remember lol! It's totally wild how quickly time passes but how much changes! It makes me realize more and more that adulthood and the journey of growing into an older adult doesn't mean I have to have things figured out or that I must rush, but rather that maybe our understanding of time and expectations are unfair and not universal whatsoever, and if I'm able to leave behind kindness and hope in my life in some way that's already a huge success. c: heart Besides, who knows what else is going to change in the years to come! It feels like everything changes even more quickly, especially with how rapidly technology shifts. It's definitely interesting at least haha!
Thank you so much for saying that crying I find the more authentically I live my life, the more happy and full I am and the more I heal from all of the years of repression and self-hatred and fear about how to fit in the world. I'll definitely try my best to proudly be who I am and let myself exist in all the aspects I come, thank you endlessly for your kindness and sending all of the warmth and air hugs if you'd like them heart crying |
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Posted: Thu Nov 28, 2019 10:21 am
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BigSunCowboy JoyRose Welcome! I hope you're finding your way around ok. Let me know if you have any questions. My "son" is trans (not in quotes because he was born female, but in quotes because I didn't actually give birth to him) so I do understand a little of the trauma that can cause. Good luck! Aw, thank you so much! I think adopted or chosen family is just as real and important and meaningful and valid as any natal family, and can be especially so to marginalized peoples like the LGBTQ+ community who frequently are rejected, displaced or mistreated by natal family members, so I'm sure your son is very glad to have you in his life heart Being transgender is only difficult because of the society we are in and the dangers, pressures, and misunderstanding of who we are and what we must be/act like/look like/prove in order to be treated as and respected as ourselves. It's definitely a challenge, but being an out transgender person as an adult has made me a million percent happier than when I was a closeted and confused child with no language to describe who I was and no understanding of my own identity. I wish your son all of the love and hope in the universe and if you'd ever like to talk or get any advice about anything feel free to ask me heart Thank you for offering to help! That's so kind and lovely and I might take you up on that and ask a few questions when I have them since I don't yet have any friends on this site so have no one else to ask, if that's alright of course heart Sending all the thanks and warmth! c:
Sure, I'm happy to answer questions if I can!
Your point about language is so important. My daughter suffers from panic attacks when faced with physically painful situations. It helped her so much when she discovered the word for that and was able to talk about it calmly and clearly. |
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Posted: Thu Nov 28, 2019 10:34 am
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JoyRose BigSunCowboy JoyRose Welcome! I hope you're finding your way around ok. Let me know if you have any questions. My "son" is trans (not in quotes because he was born female, but in quotes because I didn't actually give birth to him) so I do understand a little of the trauma that can cause. Good luck! Aw, thank you so much! I think adopted or chosen family is just as real and important and meaningful and valid as any natal family, and can be especially so to marginalized peoples like the LGBTQ+ community who frequently are rejected, displaced or mistreated by natal family members, so I'm sure your son is very glad to have you in his life heart Being transgender is only difficult because of the society we are in and the dangers, pressures, and misunderstanding of who we are and what we must be/act like/look like/prove in order to be treated as and respected as ourselves. It's definitely a challenge, but being an out transgender person as an adult has made me a million percent happier than when I was a closeted and confused child with no language to describe who I was and no understanding of my own identity. I wish your son all of the love and hope in the universe and if you'd ever like to talk or get any advice about anything feel free to ask me heart Thank you for offering to help! That's so kind and lovely and I might take you up on that and ask a few questions when I have them since I don't yet have any friends on this site so have no one else to ask, if that's alright of course heart Sending all the thanks and warmth! c: Sure, I'm happy to answer questions if I can! Your point about language is so important. My daughter suffers from panic attacks when faced with physically painful situations. It helped her so much when she discovered the word for that and was able to talk about it calmly and clearly.
Thank you so much! I appreciate that a lot c: !!!
Ah, I definitely can understand. My siblings and I are all neurodivergent and are sensitive to various types of sensory information/stimulation, my twin for example has horrible panic attacks as a result of heat sensitivity but growing up we didn't have the language or understanding about our sensory issues and that our sensitivities weren't a failing on our parts but a natural reaction based on the ways our adhd brains interpreted stimuli, so sadly we used to argue and be rather cruel to one another when we misinterpreted those panic attacks as aggression or complaining... I'm so glad all of that is in the past though and that when we grew up we were able to find information online that helped us realize we both had adhd (and that my eldest sibling and dad are likely autistic and my twin may be autistic too) and that our reactions to stimuli were not our faults but rather just a variance in the way our minds understood and interpreted stimuli.
I'm really glad your daughter was able to find the language she needed because language can be such a barrier to aid and understanding and respect sadly. I can empathize so much as a disabled person without a proper diagnosis who is frequently dismissed or mistreated by the medical system as a result of not having a clear and understood "name" to go along with the painful and debilitating symptoms of illness that I suffer, oof.
I hope my response isn't too long or boring haha. But wishing you and your family all the best heart c: |
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Posted: Thu Nov 28, 2019 5:52 pm
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BigSunCowboy Thank you so much! I appreciate that a lot c: !!! Ah, I definitely can understand. My siblings and I are all neurodivergent and are sensitive to various types of sensory information/stimulation, my twin for example has horrible panic attacks as a result of heat sensitivity but growing up we didn't have the language or understanding about our sensory issues and that our sensitivities weren't a failing on our parts but a natural reaction based on the ways our adhd brains interpreted stimuli, so sadly we used to argue and be rather cruel to one another when we misinterpreted those panic attacks as aggression or complaining... I'm so glad all of that is in the past though and that when we grew up we were able to find information online that helped us realize we both had adhd (and that my eldest sibling and dad are likely autistic and my twin may be autistic too) and that our reactions to stimuli were not our faults but rather just a variance in the way our minds understood and interpreted stimuli. I'm really glad your daughter was able to find the language she needed because language can be such a barrier to aid and understanding and respect sadly. I can empathize so much as a disabled person without a proper diagnosis who is frequently dismissed or mistreated by the medical system as a result of not having a clear and understood "name" to go along with the painful and debilitating symptoms of illness that I suffer, oof. I hope my response isn't too long or boring haha. But wishing you and your family all the best heart c:
Sounds like your family has definitely faced some tough challenges! I'm glad you've done as well as you have to progress this far. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help support your continued success! |
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Posted: Sun Dec 08, 2019 4:52 am
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BigSunCowboy Hi, nice to meet you, I'm BigSunCowboy (or BigSun, or Sun, or just Cowboy is fine)! I once had a Gaia account over ten years ago but because of trauma and resulting ptsd I don't have very clear memory of my past and can't remember at all what being on this site was like. So, a couple of days ago I decided to try making a new account to see what the site would be like now. Honestly, been kind of fun and interesting rejoining this, particularly because so much of who I was has changed since when I had my old account, and being in online spaces being myself openly when in the past I was too afraid or too confused to understand how to do that is pretty darn liberating. I'm now openly neurodivergent, trans, nonbinary and queer, and for the last seven years have become disabled with chronic illness/pain which makes me now mostly housebound. All those aspects of my life, and how vastly different my life is from my past make it really interesting to reflect on things I used to enjoy, and realize just how different and generally happier and more sure of myself I am now. It's honestly really meaningful to discover that and further realize that. heart emotion_rainbow This site has also been a somewhat helpful distraction for me too from my daily suffering with chronic pain and the stress of living as an impoverished, disabled, openly queer and trans person in a world that mistreats and otherizes people for those things. I guess all this is to say, whenever I can find distractions that are generally non-harmful, and spaces on the internet that don't villainize marginalized peoples for our existence, it's always pretty nice and brings me some much needed joy. heart
Welcome! cheese_whine
The Eternal Emperor, Verner Von Richthofen has given you a gift for joining the NSTG Guild! cheese_whine |
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Posted: Sun Dec 08, 2019 6:10 am
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Verner Von Richthofen BigSunCowboy Hi, nice to meet you, I'm BigSunCowboy (or BigSun, or Sun, or just Cowboy is fine)! I once had a Gaia account over ten years ago but because of trauma and resulting ptsd I don't have very clear memory of my past and can't remember at all what being on this site was like. So, a couple of days ago I decided to try making a new account to see what the site would be like now. Honestly, been kind of fun and interesting rejoining this, particularly because so much of who I was has changed since when I had my old account, and being in online spaces being myself openly when in the past I was too afraid or too confused to understand how to do that is pretty darn liberating. I'm now openly neurodivergent, trans, nonbinary and queer, and for the last seven years have become disabled with chronic illness/pain which makes me now mostly housebound. All those aspects of my life, and how vastly different my life is from my past make it really interesting to reflect on things I used to enjoy, and realize just how different and generally happier and more sure of myself I am now. It's honestly really meaningful to discover that and further realize that. heart emotion_rainbow This site has also been a somewhat helpful distraction for me too from my daily suffering with chronic pain and the stress of living as an impoverished, disabled, openly queer and trans person in a world that mistreats and otherizes people for those things. I guess all this is to say, whenever I can find distractions that are generally non-harmful, and spaces on the internet that don't villainize marginalized peoples for our existence, it's always pretty nice and brings me some much needed joy. heart Welcome! cheese_whine The Eternal Emperor, Verner Von Richthofen has given you a gift for joining the NSTG Guild! cheese_whine
Omg! Thank you for the gift! That's so kind I appreciate it so much! heart !!!
Also what an incredible name, just epic surprised |
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Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:58 am
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BigSunCowboy Hi, nice to meet you, I'm BigSunCowboy (or BigSun, or Sun, or just Cowboy is fine)! I once had a Gaia account over ten years ago but because of trauma and resulting ptsd I don't have very clear memory of my past and can't remember at all what being on this site was like. So, a couple of days ago I decided to try making a new account to see what the site would be like now. Honestly, been kind of fun and interesting rejoining this, particularly because so much of who I was has changed since when I had my old account, and being in online spaces being myself openly when in the past I was too afraid or too confused to understand how to do that is pretty darn liberating. I'm now openly neurodivergent, trans, nonbinary and queer, and for the last seven years have become disabled with chronic illness/pain which makes me now mostly housebound. All those aspects of my life, and how vastly different my life is from my past make it really interesting to reflect on things I used to enjoy, and realize just how different and generally happier and more sure of myself I am now. It's honestly really meaningful to discover that and further realize that. heart emotion_rainbow This site has also been a somewhat helpful distraction for me too from my daily suffering with chronic pain and the stress of living as an impoverished, disabled, openly queer and trans person in a world that mistreats and otherizes people for those things. I guess all this is to say, whenever I can find distractions that are generally non-harmful, and spaces on the internet that don't villainize marginalized peoples for our existence, it's always pretty nice and brings me some much needed joy. heart
Hi and Welcome to the NSTG! smile |
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Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:35 pm
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BigSunCowboy Hi, nice to meet you, I'm BigSunCowboy (or BigSun, or Sun, or just Cowboy is fine)! I once had a Gaia account over ten years ago but because of trauma and resulting ptsd I don't have very clear memory of my past and can't remember at all what being on this site was like. So, a couple of days ago I decided to try making a new account to see what the site would be like now. Honestly, been kind of fun and interesting rejoining this, particularly because so much of who I was has changed since when I had my old account, and being in online spaces being myself openly when in the past I was too afraid or too confused to understand how to do that is pretty darn liberating. I'm now openly neurodivergent, trans, nonbinary and queer, and for the last seven years have become disabled with chronic illness/pain which makes me now mostly housebound. All those aspects of my life, and how vastly different my life is from my past make it really interesting to reflect on things I used to enjoy, and realize just how different and generally happier and more sure of myself I am now. It's honestly really meaningful to discover that and further realize that. heart emotion_rainbow This site has also been a somewhat helpful distraction for me too from my daily suffering with chronic pain and the stress of living as an impoverished, disabled, openly queer and trans person in a world that mistreats and otherizes people for those things. I guess all this is to say, whenever I can find distractions that are generally non-harmful, and spaces on the internet that don't villainize marginalized peoples for our existence, it's always pretty nice and brings me some much needed joy. heart
Hiya! Welcome back to Gaia and welcome to the NSTG! heart |
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