Soleil Library

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇
Anneyong! I’m 준 새용 || I'm feeling Decent || I'm speaking to Octavius || Where am I? The Library || What am I wearing? Simple
▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

How likely was it that someone who was physically hurt to return to the same point? Maybe a sane person would avoid doing that, but then Saeyong wasn't necessarily sane. He might have been drawn to the tall, broody charmer for his abilities superficially, but he somehow enjoyed being around the clueless man and talking to him, even if the other seemed to not enjoy it as much. He could tell so much since he wasn't really responsive to his texts, how rude! He even put some effort in some of them, to tell him about his day - which was rather uneventful yesterday, but he tried!

Today was a little eventful, well, in his eyes. Before he was heading out, his neighbor asked him to help with a lightbulb at her place. Now while he would have considered this inviting, the woman was much older for such fantasies and sometimes even had him pick up some groceries for her. How was switching out a lightbulb eventful? He was trying to switch it out for her and there was a surge in electricity or maybe it was poorly made, could have also been humidity since they lived closer to the waters or maybe he was just unlucky as the woman liked to say, having it crack and burst on his face. Perfect. Luckily, it only left a few cuts on his forehead to which she put up some little plasters and some on his fingers from cleaning up the shards. Overall, it was something out of the ordinary for him, which was good.

The man took his tote-bag and headed to the library now, looking around before spotting his dear friend, sitting at his desk with an expression that didn't seem to differ much from how he saw him the previous time he was here. Heading over, the man leaned against the desk again, dropping the bag to his side as he looked over to him, "Aren't you very chatty" he would say rather sarcastically, "I texted you this morning as well, but you wouldn't even say hello. Are you mad at me, baby?" there was a clear emphasis on the term of endearment he chose, his brows knitting to a furrow and his lips curling into a slight pout with his bottom lip sticking out a little. It looked as unnatural as it could on the man's face since expressions didn't translate too well, but that was his attempt on looking sad and upset like those dramatic women on romantic television dramas.

The attempt to tease him didn't last long, as he began drawing the books out and placed them before him one by one. "I wasn't concerned by your threat, I just finished reading them." he would say, looking back at him as he returned to his spot to lean over the desk and have a better view of him, "Are you alright?" he asked, mostly referring to what happened with their last encounter, wondering if any of that had carried forward to affect his day today or yesterday.

▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

O.O.C.I'm sorry it isn't much ;u; but I hope it is enough to work with!



show spoilerhide spoiler


tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab Location : Soleil Library | Company : Saeyong | Mood : Uncomfortable | Residence : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | Profile : Here
Occupation : Soliel Librarian | Status : Single | OOC : --

When he felt a presence leaning in front of him, he sighed. He didn't want to deal with another person getting flirty with him. He doesn't exactly work in a place like a library to meet people. He works here because it makes him feel closer to his brother who owns a library, and because there is an etiquette of being quiet in such a place. He was about to ask the customer what they needed help with, but the voice had him stopping and looking up from the computer. In his defense...his face morphing into a grimace was out of his teeth clacking together as he quickly clamped his mouth shut. Not because the guy who was the start of his depression spiral yesterday is standing in front of him. "Hello Octavius, oh hello to you as well Saeyong, welcome in." He replies sarcastically before he is raising a brow at the man. "I am not a baby. And I wasn't feeling well. I didn't touch my phone until this morning when I was talking to my brother before work." He had briefly seen the text, but then he got changed for work and then left, entirely forgetting to ever respond to it. He will also not think about how much he was actually being a baby the day before. Immaturely sulking just because his ex moved on like they agreed to do.

He doesn't look convinced as he starts gathering the books up to check them in. Though part of Avi wonders if he would have wanted Avi to come find him. He's already deduced by their last interaction that this one is a little on the masochistic spectrum of things. Just a tiny little bit. So he doesn't exactly expect for the man to ask him if he is alright, even pauses in his action of scanning in the books to look at him. He tries to gauge if he is actually asking and not teasing before he returns to scanning his books. "If you mean in terms of what happened the other day, I am fine. You are alive and I wasn't made a murderer again, so I could be worse off in that regard." He doesn't catch that he said "again" until it is already out of his mouth, making his hand tighten around the scanner until the plastic starts to groan from the pressure and tiny cracks form. "The blatant sexual harassment from coworkers is more of a cause for concern anyhow." He loosens his grip, deciding not to acknowledge his slip up as he stands with the books in arms so he can place them where they go.

He expects the man to follow him anyways, so he doesn't give a word of farewell, just merely glances at him before he's going at a pace the man can easily match.


show spoilerhide spoiler
ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇
Anneyong! I’m 준 새용 || I'm feeling Decent || I'm speaking to Octavius || Where am I? The Library || What am I wearing? Simple
▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

Saeyong caught the sarcasm in his tone and his lips curled into a slight smirk, he found it amusing to say the least. Good choice coming to see him again, he was much more entertaining than he thought. It did make him consider actually greeting him next time, making a mental note of it. He was sometimes like a housecat, learning that the human liked something they did which gave them a treat, using it to his advantage and doing it to get said treat. What treat did Octavius have to offer? We shall find out. "You're not a baby, you're mine. Gosh, you don't even remember our little conversation about this. the man would protest, propping his chin on the counter when he caught something new about him. Family, a brother. Interesting, "To think I was important to you." he would still end up saying, sighing audibly but simply to push a button or two.

"Do you talk often to your brother?" he'd ask, those hues fixed on him as he waited on a response. This time his question was rather genuine, curious for mostly stemming from the lack of family to contact himself. Did siblings talk that often? Did they really care for each other or did they live to their stereotype that they always argued and threw things at each other. That also sounded like a domestic household. Yikes. "Are you two in good terms?" he would ask again.

Saeyong could see him look back at him when he asked him about his wellbeing, almost looking offended back at the man that he would question him with his look like that. Well, even if he meant something else, he looked like he was questioning his intentions. He always asked how he was though, every text had that line somewhere embedded in it. But he let him answer none the less, listening to him. The word he slipped didn't go unnoticed, but from their previous conversation, he didn't rule out the possibility of his association to that line of work. He still found it intriguing. Maybe that was why he was always so cautious about his power, the effects it had. "I told you I would be fine." he chose not to pick at that wound that seemed to trigger him when he noticed how tight his grip got on the scanner, almost tempted to reach over and stop him but thankfully, he did it himself. What could he have said anyways? "Harassment?" he asked, a little taken a back since just the other day, he couldn't tell the difference when he was trying to flirt with him- heck just now! Well, it might have been something big for him to be using that word, not that he was anything like those dramatic ones that would call anything that. He would know, even a shoulder touch could trigger that, but then again, Saeyong had his own charming way of doing things.

Picking up his totebag, he followed the other without him having to ask, though him acknowledging him by simply looking over made it easier to feel that his presence was welcome. "Do you have someone to report it to?" he'd ask, assuming it could be fear of the work place getting rather awkward with that complaint that he might have not. Or was it a higher up? In Saeyong's case, he was always too blunt and upfront, so things that could make him uncomfortable were already dealt with in a very cold manner. It was already not that easy to make him uncomfortable and it could often be the other way around in his case. Still, the matter wasn't too foreign to him since with his line of work, even words could make things uncomfortable. "Or have you told them directly that they are making you uncomfortable." he would add, looking back as he turned around to face him better. Was he really confrontational?

"Do you want me to step in?" he asked.

▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

O.O.C.



show spoilerhide spoiler


tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab Location : Soleil Library | Company : Saeyong | Mood : Sad and frustrated | Residence : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | Profile : Here
Occupation : Soliel Librarian | Status : Single | OOC : --

He decides to ignore the comments about being anyone's baby or what Avi deems important and what he doesn't. He already knows after last time that the guy doesn't seem to take much seriously and jokes a lot. it isn't something that Avi is really used to anymore. When they were younger, his brothers and him would tease one another, but there was a point where a line was drawn between them. Avi would look on as they tore one another apart and watch the rift he created between everyone. They are healing, slowly but surely now. Sometimes he feels bitter that the healing started once he was taken out of the equation of everyone's lives. So he doesn't immediately answer the questions about his sibling, letting him think on it for a minute.

Out of all his siblings, Castielle is probably the one who checks on him the most. The twins couldn't give a s**t if he was alive or dead, Marcellus still seems a little hesitant even though Avi had never put his hands on any of them. Just Masumi, and he can't decide if that makes it any better. That Rehan only targeted the child he was certain wasn't his. Used his own son to torment the man because they were lovers, because they were joined at the hip. Because he could control Avi with Masumi. "We try. To keep and contact. My other siblings and I don't really speak, but he checks on me often." He finally answers after putting away one of the books in hand. The admission is quiet, and he almost sounds hesitant about what he wants to say. "There is...a lot of bad blood between us, but we are doing our best to work through it. Its a bit more complicated for the others." Even though Castielle was probably the one that Avi traumatized the most using Masumi. "Do you not have siblings?"

By the time he has the last book put away, he's sighing as he pushes his hand through his hair. His expression is frustrated as he leans against the shelf, eventually dropping his hand after tugging on his hair briefly. "Not really. If I try to report it, she could spin it on me. That I was doing something even though she has said suggestive things and pressed her chest close to my face or touched my thigh during a meeting. Considering that I am a man, and that the manager is a woman...it wouldn't go well for me." He crosses his arms defensively, his lips pressing tight for a moment as he tries to think about how to word it. "I am not good with confrontation. That doesn't end well for me usually. I just asked for a different shift so I don't see her as much. But she was here today, earlier than her shift read. I spaced out so I didn't notice her until she was leaning against my table with her cleavage out." He shakes his head as he pushes off the shelf, gloved hands giving Saeyong a nudge as he passes him. "No, don't do anything reckless, troublemaker."


show spoilerhide spoiler
ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇
Anneyong! I’m 준 새용 || I'm feeling Decent || I'm speaking to Octavius || Where am I? The Library || What am I wearing? Simple
▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

Saeyong let him take his time to respond to him, following behind him as he would lead them to the bookshelves to drop off the books he checked back in. The man would run his fingers along the book covers he passed by as they had this momentary silence between them, his mind still lingering around the thoughts of siblings. If there were any before him, he had no clue about them so it was safe to assume he was his mother's only spawn, a terrible one even. The thought faded for a moment as his gaze followed the other, when he spoke up about his siblings. "That must be nice, you have someone to check up on you." he said as he looked back at one of the books his fingers stopped on. Despite there being a lack of rise or drop in his tone, there was a small hint of envy from his end. Nobody checked in on him, there must have been a time where they did, but it was just himself now. "I hear family tends to come around quite often. Maybe time is what they need. But I suppose it also depends on the depth of it all." he would say, reaching in and taking a hold of the book, flipping through the pages for a quick scan before putting it back. His hues shifted back to him when he returned the question to him, shifting away momentarily again in thought as he reached up and twisted some of the overgrown ends of his hair between his fingers. "I was just wondering that." he admitted a little quietly before he shrugged, "From my knowledge, I was an only child." he would say, referring to it in the past since it made sense to him considering he had no family left. Though, he didn't think it could have also meant that his parent(s) could have made more.

Saeyong soon lost interest in browsing through books from the section they were at by the time it was the last book, looking back at the man as he would lean against the bookshelf. He saw visible signs of what he could perceive as him being uncomfortable? He saw similar reactions from trainees at work that were put through - probably similar situations. While empathy wasn't his strong suit, he was willing to help make the situation better if the man just asked. "Women tend to abuse their power just as much as men do, I would assume that was common knowledge." he stated, "But I suppose you have a point." he then stated, women could often take the upper hand by manipulating their way out of a dirty situation like this.

Just as he assumed, the man wasn't confrontational, which he admitted and this would probably make matters worse if he did chose to complain about it. While he was listening to the man and pondering over the situation, he heard him describe the uncomfortable confrontation he had with the woman today. Saeyong might have been up for such forward advances, even he found them a little bothersome. "Were they a good pair though?" he'd ask, seeming like his failed attempt at lightening the mood, though knowing his friend here, he would have taken it too literally than anything, he pushed himself away from the shelf and walked back closer to him, "I could take her off your hands, but I think her type is the tall, mysterious and broody not short, borderline twink who speaks his mind." he would add, patting his back. That was his way of also dismissing the thought of shifting her focus on a more willing candidate- who wasn't necessarily that willing at this point. It did strike him that it could work, maybe differently, given the right motivation, "I mean, I could try. But we would both be in trouble if she ends up polyamorous." he'd add, somehow, this was just starting to sound like a plot to a very poorly made television drama. What was next, a love triangle? A long lost lover coming back? The woman being married all along? The man visibly tried waving the thoughts off until he felt him nudge him.

"Is that your new nickname for me? Troublemaker?" he'd ask, shifting quickly to take his side again, closing in some distance as he rest his head against his arm, "While I would have liked something more endearing, I like how it sounds so original." he fluttered his lashes at him, moving his head away before the other had the chance to force it away. "I wont cause any trouble though. I will just tell her I don't like her hitting on my man. It worked for my stylist, her ex never bothered her after that." he would suggest. Maybe it wasn't very smart since the two worked together, but maybe it would. Who knew!

▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

O.O.C.



show spoilerhide spoiler


tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab Location : Soleil Library | Company : Saeyong | Mood : Sad and frustrated | Residence : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | Profile : Here
Occupation : Soliel Librarian | Status : Single | OOC : --

He gives a shrug, because there isn't much he can say to that. At one point he had no one. It was just him and his guilt over what happened to his mom. And then Masumi came into his life and things changed for him. For awhile it was nice, to have someone else there with him to be in the thick of it. But then Castielle was born, and that all changed. His happy love became a dirty secret and it all went to hell after that. "Its...delicate. There is a lot of trauma there. A lot of misunderstandings we can't just write off...too much blood." He is very much alone, and he thinks that Castielle feels responsible for Avi's downfall, so he checks on him to make sure he doesn't do something stupid to himself out of his guilt. He remembers wishing death to everyone but him and Masumi, believing that everyone else had ruined everything. That part...he's not sure how much of it was his father and how much were his own thoughts. And considering what he was willing to do under his control, he would have made that a reality if he was put under anymore pressure. "My experience with siblings isn't exactly great. Two of them wanted me dead, one avoided me, and the other treated me like a monster. So, I can't really vouch for having any."

"My stepmother used my lover's safety, her own son, as leverage to manipulate me into keeping her affairs a secret from my father. I am aware of the way women can be, that doesn't mean the manager is. If anything, she is complacent anyhow." His exposure to mothers as a whole has been just as successful as his view on siblings. He frowns at the next question, closing off his expression to be blank as he raises a brow. "I wasn't exactly looking. Looking means you are feeding into it and it makes her worse." He rolls his eyes, deciding to straighten a few books so he doesn't have to look at the man. "Polyamory still has to have WILLING partners. And I am not one to share anyways." He's pretty sure he would have killed anyone who approached Masumi romantically. Had almost killed Masumi's arranged match so he didn't have to marry her. Rehan isn't in control anymore, but he's pretty sure he still wouldn't be fond of sharing with any partners.

"That would only complicate things should one of us actually engage in a relationship. And I am not a great actor." Just a great puppet who is great with knives. "I do not want to allot anymore stress to her anyhow. Leave it alone."


show spoilerhide spoiler
ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇
Anneyong! I’m 준 새용 || I'm feeling Schem-ish || I'm speaking to Octavius || Where am I? The Library || What am I wearing? Simple
▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

Saeyong was listening to him talk about the fragility of the bond he and his siblings had, too much blood he mentioned too. While that could have been figurative, he still pondered on him calling himself a murderer which could have implied otherwise. Did he kill someone in the family to cause that? He was familiar with that kind of thing, while he might have not intended to do something like that, he might have caused some of his family to cease to exist. "I see." he would say, idly brushing his fingers over his skin as he recalled that evening, plucking out the scales of those young ones like him one by one as he sank them into his skin. "I was never keen on having any myself. Pain is good, but mental pain can be draining." he admitted, taking his hand away as he brushed those thoughts off. It was mentally exhausting and lead him to take steps towards an early exile.

"Stepmother, using her own son, who was also your lover?" he asked. His curiosity got the best of him, much like usual, when he ended up asking him about this arrangement without even having to add too much to his question. But, if he chose to not answer, he wasn't planning on pushing it too much, simply stating, "I see what you mean by complicated. But, love is love." he would say with a shrug and an expression barely coming off as anything beyond nonchalant. "I don't know your manager to say that, but you might just be trusting her a little too much." he'd add as he shifted back to the matter at hand.

"In that case, they might be average." he said, almost like he could trust Octavius' will to not look when presented as a scale to judge how presentable they could be. "I wouldn't complain though, breasts are breasts and should be loved for what they are." he added, sounding as terrible as he was. "True, but what if she's a power hungry dominatrix who doesn't care about our consent?" he responded, crossing his arms across his chest as he would rub them a little to brush off the goosebumps. Being touched without prior consent wasn't something he was for, even though he was guilty of that. In his defense, his touches were often curious and not lustful, the latter always were initiated when the two parties were in accordance. "Somehow it doesn't sound very appealing how ever thrilling." he added.

Saeyong couldn't help but pause as he watched him, a quiet gush of wind exhaled through his nostrils as he looked away. "You are truly far from a monster." he mumbled mostly to himself, "You worry about her when she's clearly stressing you out." he'd add before he looked back at him. "Subtle hints so she gets the picture." he stated back at him, "No words said, no harm done." he said, sounding like he had thought this through completely with a perfect lineup of everything. The man held out his hand before he asked, "Give me your phone.", looking into his eyes as he trailed them over to his hand to nudge him a little, "Trust me, I know what I'm doing." he'd say and wait for him to hand it to him.

If he did, he'd look at his lock screen and see the picture on display. Was this his lover? He trailed his eyes back up to him, before back at the picture. He thought for a good few seconds before he used his free hand to fish through his pockets then reached for something in his totebag. He drew out a little purse that he kept a few accessories for when he wanted to spruce up his outfit a little and some spare change. He pulled out a few rings, rummaging through them to see if he found anything remotely workable. A silver band and mostly other shapes with metallic or dark colors that weren't very convincing, but he could use the back, right? "Here, put this on. Make sure you take that glove off." he would say, handing him the band, slipping a singlet ring on his but switched it over so he was using the back to make it look like a simple band. "The pictures can do the lying for you, just leave out your phone where she can see and voila. She will be out of your lovely long hair in no time." he added, switching on his camera and held out his hand.

▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

O.O.C.



show spoilerhide spoiler


tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab Location : Soleil Library | Company : Saeyong | Mood : Sad and frustrated | Residence : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | Profile : Here
Occupation : Soliel Librarian | Status : Single | OOC : --

He wants to drop all this conversation about lovers and brothers, so he doesn't respond to the bits about siblings. However, he pauses about the loaded question regarding Masumi. "We weren't always step-brothers. We grew up together. It's complicated like you said. There is more to it." His default reaction is to feel judged, because that is what he's always felt when people found out about him and Masumi. Like it was that easy to categorize them into the "forbidden" folder and write him off as someone who is sick. He's aware that things are complicated, but he's never seen Masumi as a brother because he has always known that he wasn't. To him he was Masumi only, and then his lover. "No, I mean that the manager might not know that she is faking, and that she is complacent to the harassment anyways because she does her own in her more subtle ways." Meaning that she isn't as obvious as the coworker, but she has made it clear that she's interested just the same.

"Fatty tissue with some nerves in them? Hard to imagine that there is anything to appreciate." Because he is heavily a person who doesn't get to the sexual parts of relationships until he's gotten to know a person. "I am not a masochist, nor am I someone who cares for that type of interaction." He isn't exactly vanilla with the things he's thought of with Masumi, but he isn't exactly visiting any clubs with men or women who want to hurt him either. He figured that was this man's thing in particular until he hears the bit about not really enjoying the unwilling part. That doesn't mean that he isn't into the pain part, especially considering his acts the other day just to get some pain from Avi.

"You don't know me enough to make that judgement." Because he DID hear what the man said about him not being a monster. And of course he doesn't agree with it because he has memory of everything he's ever done. Even while a little bit hazy around the edges in some situations. "I meant more myself than her. I am far too selfish to concern myself with her feelings." He's not really sure what he means by subtle, but he doesn't like the request for his phone when they have already exchanged numbers. It isn't like he has anything inappropriate in it. He just feels a little pathetic when he's caught still having pictures of them together when Castielle makes fun of him. "Trust isn't something I would put in the same sentence with your name unless I was saying no." It is a little blunt, but he hands the phone anyways because it isn't like he has anything to hide or to lose aside from his job.

The glance up at him when he sees the photo has Avi crossing his arms defensively from the judgement he is sure that is there. "Its a nice picture..." You know, just of him and his EX. No big deal there. "Pretending to be married. Are you mad? How is that even remotely better?" he says this, but he still takes the object before he ends up dropping it, his mind jumping back to the one already on his hand that was meant for Masumi. He never took it off after his breakdown, letting it stay in place because he couldn't bare to part with it. "I am certain I already explained that we do not work shifts together anymore."


show spoilerhide spoiler
ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇
Anneyong! I’m 준 새용 || I'm feeling Schem-ish || I'm speaking to Octavius || Where am I? The Library || What am I wearing? Simple
▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

"I'm not judging you. I was simply understanding the situation." Saeyong responded to him the man as quickly as the other opted to clarify the situation. From his response he could have guessed that the union of his lover's mother and his father took place sometime after their love was already in full blossom. "Besides, why should you care about my opinion anyways. I am just another passing phase in your life. One day here, gone in the next." he would add, he liked to live by that, or at least started to fully live by that now that his life wasn't under constant surveillance by the company or his network of fans. "Oh my, looks like your gorgeous face and mysteriousness has gotten you more attention than you can handle." he would state, clicking his tongue a few times as he shook his head, "The curse of being so handsome." he stated.

"Don't yuck my yum." he would state at his lack of appreciation for the female body, crossing his arms across his chest. While he might have sounded like an advocate for the female body, he wasn't limited to just them, he appreciated a man just the same, well, anyone for that matter. A body was a body. "You make me look like a man-whore at this point, are you sure you aren't the judgmental one?" he asked, raising a brow as he'd look back at him.

Saeyong decided to drop the conversation about him being a monster before it could get any further, because that would mean drawing comparisons and revealing things he might have not been very willing to share just yet. Even Saeyong, in his partial - or complete- insanity, wouldn't want to brag about him allowing people to get close to him for him to have them on the missing people list in a few months of knowing him. He simply closed it with a simple, "I'm allowed to have my opinions.". He let the man live in his fallacy of being the lesser empath as he continued to justify why confronting the women wasn't a good idea. "It isn't about her, it is about how her actions are affecting you." he stated simply as he took the man's phone. "If I had the ability to feel it, I believe I should be feeling hurt from that statement." he would respond.

"You do look nice when you smile." he would say, "I can see why those women want to bump uglies with you." he would follow, though it was quite evident even if they didn't see those frowny lips curl upwards into a smile. He fixed the ring on his finger as he tossed the rest of his accessories into his bag, looking through the camera screen to find a good angle so only their hands would be in the picture, not indicating to anyone that it wasn't the man's lover from the photo but him. Subtle changes could always be edited or slapped with a sticker.

His eyes cast down to the ring he dropped and he bent down to pick it up, blowing against it a little before he looked up at the man through the hole. "If they have any sense of integrity, they will not hit on a married man." he responded, standing up and holding on to the ring this time. "So? That didn't stop her from showing up today and make you uncomfortable. But if you really don't want to." he said, fixing the ring on his finger and slipping the other one on his free hand, "I am not going to force you to take my help." he would say, returning his phone but not before taking a quick selfie of himself. "A present, because I felt generous." he would say.

▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

O.O.C.



show spoilerhide spoiler


tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab Location : Soleil Library | Company : Saeyong | Mood : Terrified of myself | Residence : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | Profile : Here
Occupation : Soliel Librarian | Status : Single | OOC : --

"People tend to jump to their own conclusions." Which is why he always gets so defensive about it. "I don't care, I am just tired of being judged for information people do not have." His frown deepens, showing that smiling is something he's kind of forgotten to do a long time ago because he hasn't done it since Rehan's mind games. He doesn't count his crazed ones either. "Do not mock me. I do not care about looks or what people think of mine. It is no excuse to act like you have no tact." He doesn't understand why his brain thought to bring this up instead of just letting his implication of murder hang in the air. Why is being a killer easier for him to swallow than people being interested in him? Maybe because the last person who dared to love him nearly got killed by him.

"The only females I have ever met either used me to hurt people, or they tried to assault me because they think silence is approval. Excuse me if I lack an appreciation for what my step-mother used to get what she wanted." He hasn't had a good track record with females. His mother killed herself to get away from him, and his step-mother tried to extort him when she found out that seducing him wouldn't work. Because being a demon of some degree, he was more immune to her succubus pheromones than the men she preyed on. Aside from the fact that he was heavily devoted to Masumi at the time and wasn't attracted to her at all, even if she shared his love's features. She smelt wrong, she had the wrong voice, the wrong face."You don't exactly scream monogamous when you go around touching random men while offering yourself to a random woman." He isn't calling him a manwhore but...he's not exactly denying that thought either. Not when he throws out flirtatious comments to Avi, before offering his own body to someone else like it is something easily given. Like it doesn't matter who touches him in the end as long as he gets something to feel. He can't imagine living that way. By the moment and not carefully planned to avoid anymore incidents. Avi is meticulous and careful about everything he does because he's aware that he can crush someone with a single flex of muscle. He's done it before. Crushed an larynx before Rehan got his information, or snapped a neck by accident because he didn't realize he was holding on too hard. While Saeyong clearly lives day by day in a flurry of chaos he just seems to indulge in. There is no organization, no carefulness. Because he doesn't care who he hurts, he just wants what he wants. At least that is what Avi has seen on the surface anyways. There is usually more to it than that.

"Why do you even pretend to care about how I feel when she does these things? Were you not doing the same thing when we met?" He skips over the parts about the smile, about the why women want to be with him. Or the part about integrity because if they cared about that, they wouldn't be sexually harassing him at all. Him being married would make no difference. He steps forward, dropping his own phone so he can box the man against the shelf by gripping the wood behind him. "You did things against my will because you wanted to. How are you any different? What puts you in a position to feel like you are different enough to help anyone?" The wood of the shelf he is gripping groans under his grip, much like the scanner he almost broke earlier. But he moves it away to tightly grip the man's face instead. "You are chaos with no thought and care to those around you. I despise chaos, it is what gets innocent people killed. It has ruined everything I had so carefully built, took decades of my life away from me. And people like you revel in it, take joy in the madness of it all. I am not here for your entertainment, I am a living being who feels what you do. I am not a tool for your joy."

He probably isn't even talking to Saeyong anymore. Just snapped under the pressure of the women who remind him of his step-mother in how they take and take, but never look at what they are destroying behind them. Because they just do not care. She didn't care that she was hurting her son, didn't care that she was hurting Avi. She wanted power, and she wanted something to command at her beck and call because she would never get away with barking orders at Rehan. His body was used to hurt people, with no thought to how they were breaking his mind. His only light in his life was used to threaten him, until he began to almost hate that light. If it never existed, he wouldn't have become what he had. Would have nothing binding him to their madness. And he hated himself for ever thinking that, because that light was Masumi and he wouldn't survive anything happening to him.

He didn't realize he was crying until he felt the streaks down his face and the drop hit his arm. His grip lessens on Saeyong's face until it falls and he uses the other to catch the next tear and stare at it. What the hell is wrong with him? He's falling too far into the days with Rehan, where he would hurt people who got on his nerves like it was okay. he's forced to wonder again, how far Rehan dug into his mind and warped him...if he can ever recover from it. "Ah.." He blinks, as if he's snapped out of something, his eyes widening as he sees the red marks on the man's cheeks for holding his face so hard. "I..." The "I'm sorry" dies on his tongue because he's said this so many times that he wonders if it even has any weight anymore. So instead he flees, walking away quickly as he grips his chest and tries to breathe through his panic. Forget about the woman harassing him. He's the real problem here.


show spoilerhide spoiler
ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇
Anneyong! I’m 준 새용 || I'm feeling Unsure now, maybe guilty || I'm speaking to Octavius || Where am I? The Library || What am I wearing? Simple
▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

"People have nothing better to do, than judge." he would say, something he had learned over the years he had lived. From the time of his conception, to the age where he could comprehend what people said about him, to his growing years and even now, people judged him. He did reckless things back in the day, he skinned his peers so he could change and mould himself to their liking, he even turned to adapting habits that would make him stick out less until he couldn't take it anymore. He stopped, and that's when he'd start looking weird again. Though, if anything, it felt liberating than feeling trapped in glass tank. "I'm not mocking you, I am honest about your visual appeal." he admitted calmly, though he wasn't certain if the other would see it as a complement now.

"Oh, well that might imply why it makes you uncomfortable." he said, he could see now why it would have bothered him to be put through something like that from random women who had no boundaries. In his opinion though, the only solution from the issue would be confrontation. He wouldn't have to bring up his past, but surely, telling them he was mentally locked on someone else or simply the fact that he wasn't interested would be a good start. But before he could say that or anything, the accusations on his sexual escapades made him stop in his trail as he crossed his arms across his chest to take up a defensive stance. While they weren't entirely wrong, he didn't see himself as entirely polyamorous. "Is someone jealous that I offered to take her off your hands? Because last I remembered, you touched me and had me pinned against a car. he would say, though probably he might have initiated it but he wouldn't bring up his mistake when he was being accused here. Though, none of that should have been said. What should have been said was maybe, "I am not. I was joking, I am an idiot with a poor sense of humor." None of that was said though. What would he even say? His childhood was ruined by some lusty oafs who didn't care that the beautiful boy with a serene voice was still a boy when it first happened? That after that time, it became his means to reclaim the body that didn't feel like his anymore? That this was an unfortunate trait of being part siren? That it also aided with feeling things he could comprehend...Again, none of that would be voiced.

"I cannot possibly pretend to care, my manager can vouch for that. He thinks I'm a terrible actor." he would admit, clearly not seeing how this was being taken. "I was, because I truly found you intriguing. But hey, I wasn't trying to...nevermind." he stopped short in his trail, this was an argument he couldn't seem to win. There was some truth to his words, unfortunately. "I am not that different hence I feel--" he was cut short in his attempt to respond when he noticed the man corner him. While this was a familiar scene from last time, something in him told him he should simply remain quiet this time than continue speaking, which somehow, for a change he was intending to listen to. The shelf was cracking around him, where his eyes momentarily shifted to, before switching back to the man. When he gripped his face, he might have audibly gasped, his hues fixed on him as he spoke. Chaos with no thought..? Somehow those words began to feel like heavy stones on his chest, maybe since they reminded him much of his exile. His face failed to show it and his mind wouldn't let him react to it with much emotion either which brought out frustration more than anything else.

Besides the initial reflex to grip his wrists when he first grabbed him, the man would relax his grip and just let the man let off his steam, especially since his own thoughts were plaguing him until he noticed tears streaming down the man's face. His chest tugged at him to give him that unpleasant feeling again, making him feel like he held responsibilities for making this happen, mingled with some envy that his body allowed him to react and allow him to express how he felt. He reached out and attempted to wipe off a tear before the man broke from his trance. The grip on his jaw loosened and he moved it around a little to see if he had any trouble moving it, taking his own hand up to brush against the skin he managed to redden from gripping it so hard. "Don't worry about it." he would say, hopefully with a lack of struggle. He took a moment to gather his thoughts, thinking of what he should say. Apologize maybe? But before he could, he noticed the other walking away from him.

Saeyong took a step forward to maybe go after him, stopping short at when his voice echoed the words, "I despise chaos," He called him Chaos first and said he despised him. Even he knew the weight of that word so, he figured he might have stayed much longer than his welcome. Though, he wasn't too sure if he had to leave either. He looked down, his tote had fallen from the sudden closeness and Octavius' phone. Maybe, he could just return it to him before he left, maybe then he could be sure he was alright as well. He picked up the phone, his bag and was tempted to just go after him, but the words weighed down and halted the motion, making him turn around and head the other way to his desk. Setting his phone there, he took a book from one of the nearby shelves to distract himself while he waited. But sitting there on the floor by the shelf, the fresh cuts from this morning had piqued his interest more than the book and he sat there picking at it through the little flesh plaster that protected them.

▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

O.O.C.



show spoilerhide spoiler


tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab Location : Soleil Library | Company : Saeyong | Mood : Terrified of myself | Residence : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | Profile : Here
Occupation : Soliel Librarian | Status : Single | OOC : --

It takes him a while to calm down in the restroom, and he knows he heard complaints when someone tried to open the door because he was holding it shut. But he really needed a minute to catch his breath, because the panic rising was making him feel like he was suffocating. He's used to the feeling of panic attacks, the way it closes up his lungs and makes his throat feel tight. He hates losing control, but situations like these make him wonder if he will ever have control again. 2 steps forward and 4 steps back. Like he can never reach a safe in between. He wonders if there is ever a "normal" after having someone dig in your brain and scramble it. Can you be normal again after killing a person, hurting people you love? If someone has an answer to that, he wishes they would tell him. He's so tired of failing every time, or falling back every time he is ready to give up.

When he finally manages to calm down, he wets his face and tries to will his hands not to shake anymore. Objectively, Saeyong hadn't done anything wrong. He was just an unfortunate soul who caught Avi at a bad time when he was having an episode. Sure, the last time they met wasn't exactly ideal, but underneath it all, Saeyong hadn't done anything malicious. He just enjoys pain and Avi happens to be someone that causes it. To someone like Saeyong, he's a blessing. But to Avi, his power has only ever been a curse and it's hard to branch away from that for him. Eventually he pulls on the gloves and makes his way out, focusing on the man's scent until he can see him sitting down. He notices his phone, but doesn't reach for it, instead sitting down next to Saeyong on the floor.

After pulling up his knees, he wraps his arms around them and puts his chin on the top of his knees. He's a taller man, but he tries to look as small as he possibly can so he's not still seen as a threat. "My stepmother used to manipulate me into hurting people for her or else she would hurt her son to get to me by telling my father we were together. We shared no relation by blood, but my father broadcast that Masumi was his child because it would look bad for him publicly if he had a b*****d while he was with Masumi's mother. He already had a stain on his name because of my mother. She…did a lot of things that were not okay so when I get into a situation where a woman is…like her…it tends to trigger an episode." He doesn't hide his past all that much, as a way of warning people that he's broken and has issues. For reasons like this, him losing his s**t and acting like a maniac. "It's not an excuse and it never makes it okay. I just…wanted you to know that you hadn't done anything, that was all just me, and I shouldn't have made assumptions about your life. I'm sorry." He sighs and presses his face into his arms. "Thank you for trying to help anyways despite me acting ungrateful for it. I'm not great with confrontation."


show spoilerhide spoiler
ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇
Anneyong! I’m 준 새용 || I'm feeling Unsure, maybe guilty || I'm speaking to Octavius || Where am I? The Library || What am I wearing? Simple
▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

The man was unsure how long he was sitting there when he spotted the man return, but it felt like a while, since he probably read the third page of the book about three times and he managed to pick at his skin through the plaster already causing it to leave specks of blood on the little cotton bed that was pressed against the cuts. He looked back at the book as he tried to not aggravate him by his mere presence, but it seemed like he was less of that when he came and took a seat by him. His eyes trailed over to his side, as he could feel him sitting by him but only noticing him trying to conceal himself a little. Watching him curiously, as to why he could be trying to hold himself down like that, he set his book aside as he finally heard him speak.

Octavius' explanation put a few things into perspective, maybe even eased a few thoughts in his mind that he tried not to focus on in his moment of solace that he was granted. "She sounds like a terrible person." he would say quietly, though, it didn't change that Saeyong didn't feel far from her in some regard. He was quite manipulative himself, even though he didn't actively do so now, there was that growing uncomfortable feeling that he felt the last time he might have upset this man. Exhaling audibly as he heard the man apologize for his outburst, the words weighed on his chest again, making it feel like someone was stepping on it and making it harder to breath. Was this also part of guilt? He took the liberty to lean to his side, resting his temple on the man's shoulder, unless the man shifted or asked him to move. "I wouldn't say I haven't done anything." he started off, "And you weren't wrong with most--any of those assumptions." he added.

Saeyong's hues shifted over to the man, well, any visible part he could see without shifting much from his place, taking a deep breath before he focused his attention at the shelf ahead. "From when I was conceived there was nothing but chaos and I was the cause of it. I wanted to be like mother and her family but it ended up in her being put to death because of me. I was curious about humans too, but I ended up costing them their lives. I got innocent people killed." he would admit as he moved his head away a little to put some distance back between the two, knowing this wasn't something he'd admit and the individual would want to be around him. "A lot of it, over the years, was very intentional, so, I suppose I'm truly not that different from the people who hurt you." he added, "But my intention wasn't malicious in my attempt to help you."

Saeyong refrained from saying anything further, saving the man from any gross details of his life that would have made it awkward. Neither was it his intention to compare who had the more depressing life, this was him being rather truthful again, trying to cut away all the barriers he put before himself so he didn't push the other to the emotional turmoil he was going through. Though if he still would want to know, he wasn't planning on holding much back. "It took me a while to learn that I could put my foot down in some matters. But it took some time for me too, because I was their willing b***h for a little too long." Could you blame him though? When it all started, he wasn't very aware and well, wasn't even sure what was happening to him. "You might want to do something about it before it goes too far, that was all I was implying." he would add, picking up the book again to try and read something beyond the third page and to try and distract himself in case the other chose to react negatively from the words he spoke.

"I don't expect you to stay, after telling you what I did." he would add, taking a moment to peak back at him through his book.

▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

O.O.C.



show spoilerhide spoiler


tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab Location : Soleil Library | Company : Saeyong | Mood : Terrified of myself | Residence : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | Profile : Here
Occupation : Soliel Librarian | Status : Single | OOC : --

He nods in assent after hearing Saeyong's comment on his stepmother. She threatened him to get what she wanted while promising to keep quiet about him and Masumi. Yet he is pretty sure that Rehan found out through her anyways. She never had him kill anyone luckily, but him being willing to hurt someone for Masumi, even a little...is what told Rehan that he would be willing to do anything to avoid Masumi getting hurt. She used him until she no longer needed him, and then told Rehan anyways, putting him in the hands of someone much worse than herself. On top of it all, she still had the twins hurt Masumi like he wasn't even her child. Until Avi almost killed one of the twins, prompting her to stay away from the madness that Rehan was driving him into. She just ignored it all and let it happen. "She was the catalyst which made my mother die. She made me do things for her, but told my father anyways. She handed him the key to hurting me, like it wasn't her own child. She is the one who benefitted from my chaos, and she is the one who took everything from me. My mother, my freedom, my love, my mind, and my father. But I guess he was always a lost cause anyways." He didn't tense up this time as the man leaned against him, instead taking that as a sign of good will, or that he isn't angry with him. "It still doesn't make it right to say it." Even if he was accurate or not, throwing it in someone's face when they were actually trying to help, wasn't right in his eyes.

He grew quiet after that, at first letting the quiet settle over them, but then staying quiet so he could listen. No games, no bullshit. He couldn't detect any signs that the man was lying. An honest bit of himself that he can tell isn't exactly a topic he likes covering either. For once since their interactions, he feels like they are alike in some way. Can related in how they were used, in how it broke them at some point. In how they want to take back what little of their life they can and move on. So he shows respect by staying silent until he is entirely done, letting the information settle in.

By the time he releases his legs, he is doing it so he turn to look at the man so he could read his body language. "Circumstances are always different, but I still feel like you and I share some similarities. I...killed people. My father's ability is unique. He can control your mind in a way, but not where you are entirely out of control." He looks down at his gloves as he rubs his hands together, like he can still feel the blood on his skin. "It's like he digs his fingers into your mind and plants ideas, thoughts, and feelings inside. So...I was...I felt everything I did as if it was my choice. When I hurt people, I wanted to hurt them. I chose to hurt them. It was my joy, my hands, my thoughts. You start losing sight of what you want and what he makes you think you wanted, and it messes with you. And it didn't matter who he wanted taken care of either. Women, children, or men. If they stood in the way of his agenda..." He swallows back the emotion as he closes his eyes and turns away again. "It can be hard to be okay with myself after that. Now I know that I was influenced, but I still remember all of it. Everything I did to my brothers, to Masumi, to innocent people, and to bad people. Everything. So believe me, I have no plans to judge you for what you went through. I have too much blood on my own hands for that."


show spoilerhide spoiler
ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇
Anneyong! I’m 준 새용 || I'm feeling Unsure, maybe guilty || I'm speaking to Octavius || Where am I? The Library || What am I wearing? Simple
▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

"She sounds more terrible the more you describe her." Saeyong would admit, even though a lot of it he could resonate with. He used the chaos he caused for his benefit, he manipulated some to keep things in his favor, even if he did use someone to his advantage, he wouldn't recall just one particular incident though many. He sighed at the thought before he looked back at the other, maybe this was how a lot of people felt from him being around, who could see through that oblivious face and forced smile. "Were you able to give her a piece of your mind before you left? Assuming you don't live with her anymore.." the man would ask, he personally had people tell him what he was doing. They told him what a vile creature he could be but in his defense, at least when he bothered to defend himself, it wasn't him who started this and all of this was a means to protect himself. "Sometimes, a reminder of what you are perceived as can be helpful." he would add, trying to assure him he didn't do any harm.

Seeing now that the man had drawn his body out from that concealed, almost fetal position, he put his book aside as he was giving the other the courtesy to look at him while he spoke. He shifted a little to face him better and lent him an ear just as he did for him earlier. Listening to him was somehow putting his own abilities into perspective yet again. His gift might have been a gift for him, but a curse to anyone under its influence. He might have not used it to the extent where one person was aware of it and put through extreme suffering like the man before him, it still played on that feeling he wasn't able to brush away from the moment he met with this man. The feeling of guilt. His eyes trailed down when he saw the man move, seeing him rub his hands together made him reach over and place his palm over his to act as some sort of a barrier. While he might have done it without much of a thought, there was a hope it would bring him some comfort to remind him he wasn't back in his past or a moment that made him do that.

The man eased his hand away when he chose to turn, his gaze now back over him as he listened to him feel the weight of the decisions imposed on him by his father. His gaze trailed down his empty palm and remained there now as he let the words settle in. "That feels to me like evidence enough that you aren't a monster." he admitted, trailing back to the conversation they had before. Sure he had figured he was a killer, from him referring to himself as a murderer earlier, but knowing it wasn't his fault still made him certain that he for certain wasn't evil. "You did everything under the influence of another, you didn't have a choice. And even when you did, you wanted to protect someone." he started off, sighing as he brought himself to admit what he was going to, "I did what I did for myself. I...killed, for myself. My curiosities, my ideas, my pleasure, my selfishness...my vengeance. I was under no influence and I hold no feeling against what I did. Given the chance, I'd probably do it again." he said, his fingers curling around his palm in a fist as he pictured them covered in blood, holding on to maybe something that shouldn't have been outside the body.

The man took a moment to remind himself he wasn't reliving those moments, blinking as he looked back at the other and trailed his gaze away as he pondered about what they spoke. Sure, sometimes those bittersweet memories were relived at some points of his day, faces of people he harmed would sometimes pop up out of the blue, like they wanted to haunt him. He might have not been as normal as his peer, but he could tell there was discomfort in thoughts about them - especially when they mattered at some degree. So, seeing how Octavius found it hard to live with himself wasn't too far a stretch for him to comprehend. "I wouldn't say that you will be able to start moving past what you've done, but you will have to start letting go so you can move forward and break the mental chains they've put on you." he would state, referring to his step mother and his father's influence on his life that somehow still held an impact. "It wont be quick and easy, along the way you might even pick up odd vices that help you cope." he sprinkled a bit of his personal bit into that, "But, somehow, its liberating doing the things you want to without worrying too much about the outcomes. Though, I think that's only for me." he mumbled the last bit.

▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

O.O.C.



show spoilerhide spoiler


tiny14xx2