Soleil Library

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
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I'm feeling Cheeky, recovery mode || I'm speaking to Octavius || Where am I? The library || What am I wearing? Casually lurking
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Saeyong would look back at him when he spoke, spotting that smug look on his face. He could heal himself too? That was something new, then again, a man of his caliber, he wouldn't be surprised. What else could he do? He could hurt people, heal himself, by the way he was built, he could have been quite useful for work that required getting his hands dirty. He did imply that he killed people before, did that mean that he was used to work like that? What other secrets was he hiding? Though, he did fixate on his minor loss. He didn't think he could win this one, so he let him have it, but not without being petty about it. "At least mine works faster cause I'm portable sized." he'd say, looking away, childishly as before.

"Mother always said I was special." he would respond, "Maybe she was implying to something as such." he would add, rubbing his chin in thought. While talking about her wasn't necessarily a taboo, he didn't always enjoy thinking of her. This was a minor exception since he often used this phrase when someone implied he was mentally ill and he was simply accepting of it. Still, he didn't think it hindered anything...a lot of things. Ok, he didn't think it think it hindered his functionality as much as it should, so it wasn't a problem. "Like an irreversible brain damage?" he'd ask, did this have anything to do with his powers working on people? Or did he actually learn this from elsewhere? "Doesn't your body know without you knowing that it has to heal?" he'd ask. For now, he wasn't going to drop the big question, "How do you know so much?" but it wasn't too far.

Saeyongs hues shifted to their hands, watching as the man caught it and shifted them back to his face. He would move his hand back this time, still attempting for him to look at him as his hand moved towards his jaw this time. He wouldn't try to take his hand away, though avoided letting the other get a hold of him easily this time. "Does that mean, you want me to leave?" he'd ask, shaking his head. "And here I thought we just bonded, one halfling to another who are bound by their youth." A cambion huh, that explained his power and the ability to heal himself.

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O.O.C.



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tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab Location : Soleil Library | Company : Saeyong | Mood : Much confused… | Residence : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | Profile : Here
Occupation : Soliel Librarian | Status : Single | OOC : --

He will not deny that his own is a little on the slow size, though he gives an amused snort at the part where he called himself portable sized. And that only made him made a face at himself because he's never reacted to amusement before. Now that he recalls, he hasn't really laughed since he was a child running around with Masumi. At what point did he stop enjoying life to where it pained him to even laugh? "It works well enough." He scars over, but it at least does the job he needs it to.

He's pressing his lips into a thin line, glaring at the monitor against as he tries to appear like he's busy. Because he almost wants to chuckle at that. It...is kind of a funny joke. But it also reminds him of his own mother, who never said such a thing to him. She called him a burden and a monster right before she fell over that edge. So that was probably another thing he couldn't relate to. It makes him sick to his stomach every time he remembers his father hand resting on his shoulder, telling him how proud he was of him. Proud? All he wanted was to take his mother's hand and tell her that he needs her, even if father didn't. But instead he drove her to pain and help his father kill her. Maybe he was a burden and a monster that early on. Maybe that is just something he is now. "Depends on the person. Most people have the ability to heal because their brain sends the signal to the rest of the body to repair itself. But if you damage the wrong part of your brain, it cuts off its ability to communicate with the rest of the body. No communication? No healing. Your body isn't a sentient being on its own after all. The brain controls everything."

Perhaps it is because he was thinking about his father, Masumi and his mother, but he flinches this time when his jaw is touched. Even if he didn't have such an ability, he's certain he would have had his hesitation with touch. His father is sure to have been more brutal if Avi hadn't had his own abilities. He's pretty sure the only thing that saved them was him causing his father to have a heart attack after he made Masumi sit outside naked to humiliate him. His hand clenches underneath the table at the memory of it. He did it because of Avi, and it was only added to his list of things that made him feel like he was bad for his loved ones. He always got them dragged into his mess simply by existing. Any time he rebelled against his father's manipulation, Masumi always suffered for it.

"Why do you still do that, even knowing what I could do to you?" He ignores the comments after that, because the only answer that presently matters is this one. Because he can't fathom why a person would do that unless they actually wanted to die deep down. "You claim you want to live, yet you do something that could get you killed, repeatedly even."


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ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
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I'm feeling Confused, recovery mode || I'm speaking to Octavius || Where am I? The library || What am I wearing? Casually lurking
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Pint sized, fun sized, child, the names just would grow degrading the more he thought of them. That is how people often even referred to him because of his physical bounds, especially ones who barely saw him as a threat because of them or simply chose to attack his physical flaws. If only that mattered to him. Maybe sometimes, but he was far beyond that to let that get to him anymore. While he wasn't necessarily the most threatening creature out there, but his heritage did give him some things that could be worrisome. Unlike the other though, he didn't find it necessary to protect people from that ugly side, when it was necessary. The circle of life.

The man could see a shift in expressions, not necessarily as him being poked fun at, he sure knew what that felt like. This felt, different but not in an unpleasant way. It felt a tad more gratifying than teasing him in some way, though he wasn't really sure what was triggering them and would have tried still teasing if that would help. It reminded him of how he felt around Candy and Leon sometimes, when they felt happy? Was that it? Or more specifically, when they were smiling. It reminded him of her face too, when the memory of her wasn't covered in her own blood and distorted, when she was caressing his face and telling him how happy she was to have him. Her little guppy. Maybe he'd feel better if she hated him for how things went down, maybe it would satisfy that void that couldn't bridge his emotions to his reactions. Maybe he'd not think about her, knowing she wanted nothing to do with him but she didn't and that just left him frustrated and confused. "I see. I thought it wasn't always required, you know, like when you are infected and your body reacts without you even realizing it."he'd say from his limited understanding of how the body functioned. "You sure know a lot." he'd add, "It must be nice." he'd say , even sounding rather jealous of him.

Saeyong's fingers delicately brushed his jaw before they pulled away when he spoke, still within reach but only not making contact. While he wanted to give him a cheeky response, his words twisted in his mind for a moment and her voice replaced his. Why could he hear her? He inhaled rather fully this time, pushing the thought out as he felt a familiar sense of discomfort. Why was he doing this? "It makes me feel alive." he'd answer, his fingers curling into to his palm. He thought that he answered both, him and her voice in his mind but she'd repeat, Why, "Because, pain is comprehendible." he added, responding mostly to her again until she'd ask again, Why. Though this time, he had no answer. "I don't know." he'd say truthfully as he finally drew his hand back and reached into his pocket.

"I think I need a smoke." he would say, not too long after his little moment. Looking over at the door before he'd excuse himself, careful not to rush past the other patrons and cause any inconvenience. He barely made it past the door before he already had the pack nearly crushed in his palm, pulling one out and placed it between his lips. He lit it up once he was outside and took a long drag before he let the fumes escape. While the act itself wasn't as helpful, it helped realigning his focus on something as simple as breathing. He occasionally would use it for a little something more intense, which he did resort to shortly, taking the stick from between his lips to place the amber end on his wrist. The pain seemed to help him better.

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O.O.C.



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tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab Location : Soleil Library | Company : Saeyong | Mood : Not really sure what the hell he's doing | Residence : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | Profile : Here
Occupation : Soliel Librarian | Status : Single | OOC : --

"You learn things when you work for my father, even if you don't want to." He stands from the seat to pull over the cart of books he needs to check-in. He probably won't be able to get any calls in while this guy is here anyways. So he might as well just move onto a task he can do. After he takes his seat again, he swallows down the bile in his throat and starts to scan in the books to put them in a stack so he knows his next step is to put them away. It is a methodic way of keeping his thoughts off of his father and everything that comes with thinking about him. Keeping thoughts off how the brush of his jaw reminds him of the times when him and Masumi would lie there talking about their dreams and hopes for the future together. When Sumi would delicately brush his hand along Avi's face, gloved...always gloved. Because they were both given the short end of things when they were born with touch based abilities. He thought he was done feeling the ache that came with the ghost of Masumi's touch. But this is just a reminder that although Masumi has had the time to move on, he really hasn't.

"It makes me feel alive." It wasn't the answer he expected, so he found himself lowering the book in his hand down as he looks at the man. It didn't even seem like he was talking to Avi anymore, with how his eyes almost looked glazed over in thought. Perhaps someone had asked him the same question before, and he was lost in those thoughts. There isn't much he can say back to that. You can't really tell someone how to cope with whatever it is they are handling. He doesn't know the man, but it seems much like a case of avoidance to him. Doing his best to avoid the problem and not think about it as much as he can so it suppresses everything else, even emotions.

He watches as he practically flees from the library, gaze catching the light of fire outside the doors before he's looking back down at his task to continue it. He can't say he can honestly relate entirely to the man's troubles. He doesn't know what he is dealing with, as everyone has their own demons. But he can at least relate to the stench of...guilt? Of panic and not knowing what to do with the information your brain is giving you. Maybe that is what causes him to set the lunch break sign neatly on the counter before he stands up and straightens his shirt. He should probably run to his car to get another glove anyways. He at least makes sure to let the other workers know that he is leaving for a short break, having already expressed when he started working here that it is dangerous for him to be without his gloves. He was pretty surprised that they still hired him even after he explained it. But maybe that is because he is so careful about it.

When he steps out of the library, he pulls off his other glove and takes a deep breath of fresh air. "You could at least hide when you do that." He sighs when he takes stock of what the man is actually doing...right in front of the library. He shakes his head and puts the glove in the trash before he is pulling his keys from his pocket. "The people around here are likely to report you and have you committed." He's had his run-ins with a few people who just have no clue what the hell a panic attack is. He's had them calling the ambulance on him, panicking that a crazy man was digging his nails into his skin until he bled. He shouldn't have to feel shame when he explains to the doctors that he was having a panic attack stemming from PTSD. He shouldn't feel ashamed for being a victim of his father's abuse for all of his life.

"That felt like the most honest response you have given me since we have started interacting. I suppose with that kind of honesty, there usually comes a cost." IE: why the man was busy pressing a cigarette to his skin. It seems like feeling alive isn't the only reason he does it. But Avi won't push further on that. He knows better than to press into open sores which can trigger someone into a PTSD episode. So he sighs as he looks around a little to make sure that the man at least doesn't have a watcher, before he's grabbing him and pulling him by his coat. "You better not pass out. I will leave you on the ground." It is the only warning he gives before he is pressing the man against the side of his car and sliding his hand up his shirt to place it flat against his stomach. Almost instantly, he can his body tensing and the thrum of energy coursing through him and focusing on his hand. This is probably the first time he's ever used it willingly on someone without his father's mind games. "Only because I triggered whatever is haunting you." He mutters it like it is a warning, his voice lowering so that anyone passing wouldn't hear him. Because this isn't something LIKES nor WANTS to do. But somehow it seems to help the man cope so he will do it this ONE time because he started it by asking a loaded question. "Tell me when to stop if you can." He mutters closer to the man's ear as his hand slides up to his ribs so it is less awkward on his hand and easier for the man to knock his arm away if he can't speak.


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ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
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I'm feeling Confused, recovery mode || I'm speaking to Octavius || Where am I? The library || What am I wearing? Casually lurking
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"He sounds quite invested in your education." he'd comment, though not intending to ponder any further even though part of him was curious. What sort of work did his father have him do? Judging by the way he wouldn't seem as lively as some people did when talking about his family and the way he tried to keep himself guarded from using his powers, he did assume some association with the two but he wasn't going to ask him about it unless necessary. He didn't care too much about family histories when it came to individuals, he preferred to know the individual more than their background. Sometimes, he didn't care too much about the individual either, but that was a different case. Sure there were times when backgrounds were necessary, but since he didn't necessarily have much building factors from his family so he assumed it would be the same for the others.

That conversation seemed short lived as he was now outside, pressing a burning cigarette on his skin in attempts to free himself from thoughts that were plaguing him. Her running in his mind for no absolute reason. Maybe he should have just taken that taxi home and slept it off. But here he was, avoiding eye contact with any passers by, which thankfully were nil to none, and only taking an occasional puff to keep it from putting out. The man's voice broke him from his momentary trance, eyes cast down to the blister he made. "I don't see any reason to hide it." he would respond, pushing it down this time to put it out and tossed it into the bin once he was certain it was out. He drew his sleeve over the burn before he looked up to the other, what was he doing here? He'd cast a glance down to his hands, no gloves this time. Was it his break? "They'd just ask me a few questions and determine I'm ill in the head and when I make them uncomfortable, they'll just let me go." he'd admit, not like he hadn't been through this a few times already. Maybe he should have been more careful though, but he wasn't thinking. He would try and keep that in mind, he didn't quite like being questioned. "You've been through it too?" he'd ask.

"What." he'd state, "I have been honest about most of the things I've told you so far." he'd say, rubbing the arm he was trying to inflict harm on before, though what he said was somehow making sense to him. When he was admitting something rather personal, he was seeing her. Was this a pattern? Not that he paid enough attention to realize that, especially since she sometimes showed up in his dreams, along with many others. Before he could come up with a conclusion for himself, he felt a tug on his coat. He didn't bother to resist when the other dragging him along, somehow trusting this wouldn't kill him. "Should I be concerned?" he'd ask in a playful tone.

"You better not pass out. I will leave you on the ground."

Saeyong looked back at the other once they were facing each other better, looking rather bewildered as he watched him. His lips parted to ask him what he was implying, finding himself against a car. His eyes darted back from the vehicle to the man, body stiffening from the touch on his bare skin. Despite the initial cold, his touch turned warm on the spot, itching him to move it away from being startled like that, but the feeling was replaced with a stinging pain which made him think otherwise. Unfortunately for him, even if he'd feel that heavy, unpleasant emotion for maybe driving him to this, he was selfish enough to take the blessing for his gain. He was indeed, as pathetic as people thought of him to be. "It...wasn't your fault." he'd admit, it truly wasn't. Even if his words might have reminded him of her, he wouldn't blame him for seeing her every now and then and causing him this discomfort that she did. He might have implied that he didn't have to do something he was clearly not happy with, but his hand still held on to his shirt sleeve that he grabbed onto when he first made contact with him. He didn't really want him to let go.

Goosebumps trail on his skin as he feels the man's hand move up, his heart picking up the pace against his chest but he'd attribute it to the building pain that was coursing through his being than anything else. Honestly, he wouldn't know even if it was anything else, the same way he couldn't tell what his anxiety was. He closed his eyes for a moment and let the pain consume him until it started to get a little uncomfortably pleasant, just like before. Sweat was breaking through his skin and turning it warm as his body was trying to keep him from dying yet again. His grip tightened on his sleeve as his other hand balled into a fist. A quiet groan escaped his lips, body shifting a little as he looked over to the other, hearing him instructing him to stop when he could. A quiet chuckle escaped his lips at the thought of that. Did he want him to stop? Oh he could go on till he barely had any fight in him left, but was he really this selfish?

His body felt like it was running on the rush the other was giving him, a wonderful bliss that was like his insides were being crushed suffocated in attempts to end his being. Saeyong wanted him to keep at it, but something in him just took over and pulled his hand away, before he'd plague the other with the guilt of hurting him beyond repair. His trembling grip still held on the creased sleeve while he took a moment to catch his breath. It seems like the pain did help him see things clearly for a change. "You're one sexy beast." he teased, leaning against his car so he didn't drop.

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O.O.C.



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tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab Location : Soleil Library | Company : Saeyong | Mood : Surprisingly okay | Residence : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | Profile : Here
Occupation : Soliel Librarian | Status : Single | OOC : --

He could talk more on the man’s self preservation, but he figured that Sae wasn’t going to have the luxury of words anyways. So he instead presses close enough to keep him upright while resting his free hand on the car behind them. He should probably look more into the fact that it is so easy for him to aggravate the woman who decides that she wants to glare at them when she gets out of her car. All it really takes is a shift of his knee between Saeyong’s legs and him shifting his hand higher up his ribs as he pretends to lean in close to whisper something to the man. Her face of indignation and huff before she finally minds her own business and walks away makes the man chuckle into the male’s ear. "People really don’t know how to mind their own business." He probably gets his ability to instigate from his time with Masumi. Pissing his father off was also far too easy. It really only took his touch lingering underneath Masumi’s shirt in public, his fingers dipping just barely below the waistband of Masumi’s pants as he would shift close to whisper into the blushing man’s ear. He can barely speak sentences sometimes, yet people somehow get the idea that he is actually good at seduction tactics. He really sucks at it in his opinion. He just figured that Masumi always humored him, and it wasn’t like Avi was trying to be any certain way. He just wanted. Lusted after the man because he felt like though they were lovers, he was still so far out of his reach and his league. Maybe that is his secret weapon. Actually letting his emotion hit the surface.

”Get a room, geez.” He sees a redhead passing by while shaking his head, but doesn’t pay much mind to him. He’s a regular at the library who keeps to himself until he is asking stupid questions and giving random a** facts that Avi didn’t really ask for. He at least has a carefree attitude, so Avi knows that he doesn’t actually care and just likes throwing his input out there. He might get a complaint from the lady when he comes back though. ”You still had it because of something I said.” He chooses not to address the two people who were being nosy further, instead adjusting his stance so he can open his car door after his hand was finally pulled away from Saeyong’s skin. He removes it from the man’s shirt and presses it against his stomach over his shirt to keep him in place while his body shifts in order to let him reach into his car for his spare gloves in the pocket on his door.

After the gloves are acquired, he is pressing his hips forward to make sure Saeyong doesn’t slide down as he pulls them onto his hands. The familiar feeling of material sliding over his fingers has him feeling like he is finally breathing right again. And when he is sure that Saeyong won’t fall to the floor without his help, he pulls away to lean against the car next to him instead as he pushes his fingers through his own long locks. He’s always paid so much attention to how other people feel when he touches them, and never really how it feels to him. A low thrum of energy coursing through his body until he feels like he is hopped up on adrenaline, body tight with tension in coils ready to release and spring out. "I haven’t done anything to be considered ‘sexy’," he mutters in a confused tone, his arms moving to cross over his chest defensively.


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ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
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I'm feeling Rather excited || I'm speaking to Octavius || Where am I? The library || What am I wearing? Casually lurking
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Saeyong felt the man press himself closer, he might have been drowning himself in the pleasure that the pain held, but he couldn't ignore how the rest of his senses were much alert at the moment. Maybe it wasn't the best, but he was now a little too aware of the cologne or aftershave Octavius had on, the way his hair fell along his frame. Maybe it was the fact that pain wasn't always an aftermath of him aggravating someone, it was also something that was interlaced with something he was certain the other wasn't intending. Though, the way he was positioned there, he could have guessed otherwise. His heart was racing against his chest and his eyes cast along the spots where his skin was exposed, his free hand inched away from the car and was reaching for the other, but his chuckle made him lose focus and quickly for who he could be referring to.

That dreaded woman from before? He hadn't felt this unpleasant feeling in a while, that made him want to hurt her. Anger, wasn't this? It might have lasted only for a moment, since his senses were occupied elsewhere. Given a chance to let that emotion consume him though, he would have enticed her with his melody and...she didn't really seem very appetizing to make her disappear. Soon enough, another voice followed and this time, he'd audibly sigh. When did people become so nosy? Though, he wasn't necessarily able to provide more of a verbal outpour to express himself, thanks to the wonderful power the man had.

"It isn't that rare an occurrence, but your actions were greatly appreciated." The man didn't know what to call this gesture, an apology? A sign to show his regret for triggering her thoughts? Either way, he appreciated it and wouldn't think it would be a bad thing if this was a regular deal. He could bear the moment of suffering for this downpour of pleasure. "But what do you plan on doing about the other things you've triggered?" he'd ask, rather playful even though he was at a disadvantage here, taking his free hand to grip the man's shirt near his collar while he fished for something from the car. He could feel his hand still on him, though this time through his clothes. The damage was done, figuratively and literally, now, why did he stop this anyways?

The man pulled away from him as he caught his breath, chuckling a little as he could see him from the corner of his eye leaning against the car as well. He could see him move and moved his own hand, snaking it up his side, over his shirt in an attempt to tease him yet shine light on what he did to him as well. If he was really as innocent as he seemed to be, he should be schooled, right? "You don't think so?" he'd ask, turning to face him this time to catch his defensive demeanor. He used whatever adrenalin he had to push himself off of the car and shift to the other in attempts to trap him against himself and the car in a rather loud thump. He used his arms to support himself and his dominant foot to bear most of the weight by pressing into the other's, he didn't shy from the other since that boundary had already been breached. "So you didn't think anything about our little intimate contact?" he'd ask, shifting his hand closer to his side again but a hair lower and brushing against his waistband. The man's hues had a look he assumed most would be familiar with as his tone deepened to express the corruption of his own thoughts, shifting his other foot closer to take away any more space that was between them. "Are you truly that oblivious? he'd ask. Even though he attempted to do what he did, with the state he was in, he wasn't going to resist or try and make him any more uncomfortable if the other gave him the slightest nudge for him to move. He wouldn't attempt something he wasn't physically capable of, at this moment.

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O.O.C.



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tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab Location : Soleil Library | Company : Saeyong | Mood : Confused | Residence : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | Profile : Here
Occupation : Soliel Librarian | Status : Single | OOC : --

He’s never had someone be appreciative of what he can do aside from his father. It’s never been something that filled him with pride. Instead it stuck to him like sweat and made him feel dirty and used. So it has a weird feeling to it when he is basically thanked for hurting him. It doesn’t feel as dirty as before, but it does leave an unpleasant taste in his mouth. He doesn’t want to be thanked for hurting someone, even if that person is clearly a masochist. "I hardly see how." Clearly this one is a weird one, and of course it is just his luck to have run into him. Is this a sign from the universe? Sending him a masochist as some kind of message to embrace what his power does or something? Sorry universe, he is still not a sadist, and he is still a deeply traumatized person who gets TRIGGERED when he hurts someone, not enjoyment. "You've already hit your limit surely. There isn't more I can do for your other issues." Right over his head that comment went. Yet again, in his mind, he isn't a terrible looking man. He doesn't see what other people see when he looks in the mirror. He doesn't see that he's an attractive man with a body people like to stare at. He just sees all the blood on his hands and his mother's dead eyes staring back at him.

He tenses under the man's hand, a reflex from what his touch does. Though he relaxes a little when he realizes it is over his shirt. Even still, he doesn't see it as anything past the man trying to chase a little more pain, but holding back by keeping the barrier between them. Aside from a twitch of not being used to the ticklish feeling of his ribs, he gives no other reaction. ”I know so.” because he is pretty sure he would know if he tried to do anything remotely sexy. He might have been bad at seduction, but he did have to live with a succubus as a stepmother. You pick things up when you watch her do whatever she can to assure that his father can’t be rid of her for all the trouble she causes with her many lovers.

”Intimate.” he answers dumbly as he leans back against the car to support the new weight against him. His reflexes aren’t at all broken, yet he still somehow didn’t move to stop the sluggish male when he took on the previous position that Avi had. ”I was trying to make it comfortable, and then to scare away the woman watching us. I don’t want to be fired for assaulting someone outside of my job.” He figures that giving the appearance to make out or something on his break was easier to swallow than him causing customers pain in the parking lot. Had his actions been mistaken as something else by the man? He thought they might have been on the same page with what was happening. Did he assume he was actually trying to kill him the second time around? steelblue]”Oblivious to what exactly?” He does his best to come off as non-threatening, even when his body jolts at the sudden feeling of the hand on the waistband of his pants on his hip. What exactly was going on here?




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ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
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I'm feeling Rather excited, curious || I'm speaking to Octavius || Where am I? The library || What am I wearing? Casually lurking
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"I feel better than before, that should be evidence enough." the man could elaborate on that, explaining to him what ever limited understanding he had of his mind working when it was consumed by pain, but he came to the understanding that they weren't alike. Hence, there would always be a lack of understanding between the two, especially since he didn't associate his power with anything good. What is good anyways? Nobody or nothing is entirely good anyways. Good, in his mind, was subjective anyways. Their thoughts about his powers were evidence to that. "I could go on if I wanted to." he'd respond to the other, but it did dawn on him, like his previous realization, that he probably didn't understand the context behind his statement, "My limit is when the two of us push beyond it." he'd add with a playful smirk, somehow knowing he wouldn't understand had its own perk to it.

The man could tell when his touch was welcome and when it wasn't, he could tell when it pushed the right buttons and when it didn't. He knew when he could make his partner melt and when he might have been doing something wrong, though this just felt like it did barely anything. "If you say so." he humored him, while his hand itched to explore the spots that made him tick. What was stopping him? Was it the fact that they were outdoors, had maybe one or two hawking eyes? Things of this sort didn't stop him before, what changed?

"That wouldn't even be considered assaulting." the man would state, shifting his gaze down to where his hand was, feeling him jolt at his touch. So this was where it was? A smirk grew on his lips as he seemed to have found a nick in what he considered his armor, slipping a finger on one of the belt loops and tugged on it. For a brief moment, he might have considered letting instinct take over, make him feel what exactly he was talking about or even push him to feel something similar. Somehow, he didn't feel he should act on it. He found himself leaning forward none the less and rest his forehead against his collarbone, while his body weighed on his arm and legs, still mildly exhausted and the inner conflict just made it a little bothersome. "Oblivious to what to what that pretty face and touch can do to a man with needs" He'd respond, though doubted he'd understand even then, would he have to spell it out for him?

The man's finger slipped out from the belt loop and trailed forward, his hand grazing over his stomach as he propped his chin up to see him better, "Assuming you had someone you chose to be intimate with- a partner maybe, did you not touch them to express your desires?" he'd ask, trying to shine light over the situation if he didn't yet understand when he expressed it earlier, "Maybe get as close as we are-were a while ago? he'd as as he shifted his foot a little to move position his hips better and close in the distance and emphasize his point, "How did they react?" he pulled himself up a little to get a better look at him, wanting to see any change in his expression if the realization dawned on him.

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O.O.C.



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tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab Location : Soleil Library | Company : Saeyong | Mood : suffering with man pain | Residence : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | Profile : Here
Occupation : Soliel Librarian | Status : Single | OOC : --

"Then I have reached my limits. It backfires sometimes." He amends, shutting down any further thought of doing it any longer. He's had it clap back at him before, so it isn't like he doesn't know the pain of his own abilities. He'd rather not experience that again. "I tend to listen to my limits instead of pushing them too far." Though clearly this guy must not care about his own limitations. If he cared, he wouldn't be reaching for more after getting subjected to Avi's ability twice now. Because surely that is what he is doing. Trying to get a taste of more while Avi doesn't understand how he withstood it at all to begin with. At least he didn't kill anyone today. That is always a plus.

”People can tend to make up their own little stories. Someone can easily say I was assaulting you based on just that." He is losing sight of what is happening here, his brow furrowing when he feels a tug on his belt loop. As he looks down to see what the heck he is doing, the man's body is leaning against his, making him tense again. Instinct told him danger, that he was weak to an attack like this, an easy target. He is ready to pull away, hands resting on the man's arms to push some distance between them. But then Saeyong speaks, and he freezes. His posture still tense and hands gently clutching his arms. "What." Just like in the library, his tone is laced with confusion, and the gears slowly start working in his head. It takes him a good while to realize what is finally happening. The close proximity, the comments on a man's needs. Is he about to pass out? Is he telling Avi to take care of him because he decided to cause him the pain on his own? (No Avi, but keep trying anyway.)

His abdominal muscles are twitching, not used to being touched there since he and Masumi broke up. Now the gears are turning in the right direction, but he's still too slow and the ball drops before he can get there to catch it and Saeyong ends up catching it for him. ”Partner,” he parrots with meaning, his expression showing that the lightbulb is on finally. For someone so smart, he really is dumb sometimes. Because though he IS a virgin, he and Masumi had done other things, so it isn't like he's dense from zero experience. He'll exclude the time he traumatized Castielle under Rehan's control and nearly took Masumi's virginity in front of him. He feels lucky that Masumi got so flustered that he fainted before it got to that point. That isn't how he would have wanted their first time to go. With a bound Cas watching in horror because he thought his brothers were in an incestuous fling. He can't blame him when Rehan buried Masumi not being his kid so deep down that no one but Masumi's mom, Rehan himself, Avi, and Masumi knew. Avi only knew because he was there while Rehan was at work and different men were coming into the home and leaving their bedroom. If she helped Rehan wreck his home with Avi's mother, it was no surprise that she has zero plans of being faithful in this instance. And Masumi knew because Rehan made it his mission until Cas was born to make sure that Masumi knew he wasn't his spawn. They don't even know who Masumi's father actually is, even to this day.

Instead the touch makes him fall back to the times when Masumi mewled under his attention to special places when they were younger and Rehan didn't know what they were doing together because their relationship was private and it was theirs alone. Not the family's to control and warp so they could manipulate everyone. Sure, it was unfortunate that Masumi's mother married Avi's father after years of fighting and talk of breaking up over it, tying them as step-brothers eventually…but they were never related by blood like Rehan spun to Castielle, the twins and Marcellus. But by then the seed had been planted and taken root. Avi had already been in love with his best friend, and it was hard to force himself out of that mentality by the time the 'I dos' were said. He is pretty sure that Marcellus isn't Rehan's either, possibly not even the twins. But it didn't matter. In their eyes, that b***h was always faithful to their father and Avi was at least half related to them all, including his lover to whom he shared no blood with and spent a lot of his life being best friends with before the title was forced into a state of brotherhood. Their own plans of marriage and happily ever afters, were destroyed the day that Rehan publicly proposed to Sumi's mother with the smarmiest ******** smile Avi had ever seen him dawn. He knew what he was doing even then.

”Are you attempting to proposition me?” It isn't what he wanted to say, but he blames his head for being stuck in his Masumi shaped clouds for a bit, dwelling heavily on his own dashed proposal plans and the damn ring he still has shoved in the back of his nightstand. All it took for him to wreck his focus was one thought-provoking comment which made his breathing a bit on the steeper side. He's not the one with Masumi anymore. It's not them against the world, it's just him now. Remembering those times won't change anything, just make that sting of loneliness hit harder, make him hold that ring with more desperation like it will change anything. steelblue]”We never…we couldn't…we did things but never…” Drunk Masumi trying to force it in never counted, not when Avi immediately stopped him and put his crazy drunk butt to bed before he gave himself a stroke with how hard his heart was hammering against his chest because of it. ”What we did or didn't do doesn't matter anymore. I don't want to think about it. Don't ask me that again.” His jaw sets stubbornly as the hands still on Saeyong's arms slip off and fall to his sides. Man, this day has been emotionally exhausting. "I don't want to think about my many failures today." He slumps forward to drop his forehead onto Saeyong's shoulder. It's a little awkward since he's taller, but resting his hands on the man's hips again helps. His voice is quiet when he speaks, almost as if saying it too loud will make it so real that he'll crumble. He's said so many times that he loves Masumi, that he cares for him. But admitting that he's still emotionally stunted because he's still in love with him even now…feels like he's falling behind in his journey to better mental health. "You are better off propositioning someone who actually knows what he's doing. I'll be frank, I don't think I'm even able to do what you're implying. I've only ever looked at one person that way because I was in love with him for years before I could even have the chance to touch him." And in the end, he didn't even know how to keep him without breaking him, so he let him go. Taking all his will to ever be intimate with another person with him.

He pulls away after with a sigh, moving them to make sure Saeyong is leaning against the car for support. "I can call a taxi to take you home, you should rest even if you keep insisting that you don't need it. I need to get back to work."[/b Aka: Brood like a brooder who broods while he sighs wistfully and stocks the checked-in books. Maybe he'll finally throw away the ring today. Or maybe he will just lie in bed staring at it for hours on end again, watching it mock him with its perfect glimmer.


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ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
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I'm feeling Unsure now || I'm speaking to Octavius || Where am I? The library || What am I wearing? Casually lurking
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Listening to the man tell him he had his own limits kept him from making another comment that would be geared towards fun time activities. That was interesting, he didn't think a power like his would have a limitation as such, then again, he hadn't really given his powers much thought. He was the first to meet who could cause that kind of pain without having to physically damage someone. "Interesting." he ended up stating, though his amused expression still remained. Sweet, naïve man.

"I doubt they'll think of anything along the lines you are." he admitted, thinking still that the man had no clue where this conversation was headed, but when his body stiffened and his arms grabbed onto his, he was assuming he finally got the hints he was so obviously dropping. The amusement when he watched the other finally realize what he was trying to imply. "It sure took you a while." he would tease, "And here I thought you were smarter than that.", brushing his fingers along his abdomen for a little longer, though the slightest clench on his arms made him think he might have triggered something he shouldn't have. That amused look on his face slowly disappearing.

Listening to the man, he could see that his assumption was right. He spoke of someone, assumably of a partner he couldn't be with. He could tell he wasn't pleased by the thought of that. "You're not with them anymore." he would state, though maybe it was better left unspoken. Sadly, Saeyong lacked the ability to read the room from time to time and he failed to even comprehend how he could be feeling. He knew it was unpleasant, but to what extent? Maybe someone else could tell him. "I will not, but my intention was simply to shine light on the situation." he would admit, feeling his arms freeing his. Though when he thought he was going to storm away in those negative feelings, he felt him slump over his shoulder. It wasn't bad enough to make him stumble, but he stood there briefly, unsure of what he should be doing in a situation like this.

The man's arms reached up, following a rehearsed response and wrapped around his frame in an embrace. Was this, the appropriate response? He remained quiet and let the man speak his mind while he tried to just remain there for him. His hand ran along his back in little strokes, though it wouldn't be long before he'd respond yet again. "I don't think there would be anyone as experienced as I--" he started off, but given the man's vulnerability, and one too many thoughts running in his head, he decided to chose his words for a change. "I do not understand what you are going through." he admitted, "But failures in your love don't make you any less competent. Sometimes things just don't work." he would add.

Saeyong was by no means a gentleman, he never planned to be despite being schooled and disciplined for most of his lifetime. But he wasn't someone who pushed his desires when the victim was unwilling. He was only trying to tease him in the beginning, but as time progressed, it felt like he was uncovering more of this unusual man. Octavius was more of a curiosity now, more than an experiment to test his limits or a childish whim. Like most of the sane ones around him reminded him, the people he met were people. He let the other lean him against the car, exhaling as he offered to call him a taxi. "I can do that myself." he would state, not trying to sound like he was offended by the rejection, but simply telling him he wouldn't have to worry about him. "I wont hold you back any longer." he would say, pulling out another cigarette to kill time while he waited.

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O.O.C.



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tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab Location : Soleil Library | Company : Saeyong | Mood : Confused | Residence : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | Profile : Here
Occupation : Soliel Librarian | Status : Single | OOC : --

It stings to hear it out loud, but it isn’t like the man is wrong about it. They aren’t together anymore, and haven’t been for awhile. "No, I hurt him and lost the right to love him." He can hear Castielle’s voice in his head telling him over and over that he was a victim, not a monster. But those were his hands…his power…his voice which said the things he said. Rehan may have been pulling the strings, but the damage had still been done to Avi and to Masumi. They were all able to break free from his father, but in the end…Rehan still got what he wanted in the end. Avi is alone and miserable, while Masumi is with someone else. If Avi hadn’t fled his home city when he had, he’s almost certain Rehan would have tried to use his time of weakness against him.

It could be because he hasn’t been embraced since he last saw Masumi, but he felt his throat closing as he shuts his eyes to avoid the emotion welling in them. The hand stroking his back felt like a brand against his skin, his body still sensitive and tingling from the energy he was emitting with his power. Avi isn’t someone who is easily embraced, or embraces others, but it felt like it was ripping open old wounds all over again, leaving him raw at the edges. Making his voice come out rough and quiet. ”We could have, if I were not a monster." If he hadn’t been born from a monster’s seed. If so many other circumstances were even a little bit different, they might have still been together. Smiling under the sun as they lie in their secret garden where Avi planned to propose. He wouldn’t be trapped in this misery when everyone else in his family gets to live their own happily ever afters. He’s in hell, and he has tried so many times to claw his way out, but he can’t seem to escape that part of himself. Demon is in his blood after all.

Avi nods, but he doesn’t really feel all that great about it. The guy could heal pretty well, but that doesn’t mean he can’t suffer some kind of trauma. Avi has to remind himself that it isn’t his business and he isn’t some damsel that needs help. He was the one who did this after all. It's hard to try and act like a savior when you are the demon who caused the damage. Still, it doesn’t stop him from at least reaching into his pocket to pull out his wallet so he can move close again to slip a card into Sae’s pocket, one his father made him carry at all times in case he ever needed to use his children for his own gain. On the pale blue and white card is simply Avi’s name with the Alaric name crossed out with red marker and a number. ”Repayment for the taxi costs since I caused this.” His way of saying that he will redeem a doable favor as payment for doing his own thing and touching Saeyong again without really asking him. After murmuring it to the man, he pulls away to start walking back towards the library doors. ”Travel safely, Saeyong Joon, and don’t make me hunt you down for that book. Turn it in on time.”


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ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
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I'm feeling Unsure now || I'm speaking to Octavius || Where am I? The library || What am I wearing? Casually lurking
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"I'm sorry." another one of those rehearsed responses. The man could feel the weight in his words, he could understand that hurting someone could result in never seeing them again. He hurt his mother, he hurt so many others and he couldn't see them ever again, he couldn't bring himself to in most cases. He didn't think he loved them though, but he did hear that if the love was strong, they would be forgiven, from some youngling talking about love besides other things. Was this appropriate to be said though? He assumed he would have tried to come to the conclusion that he wouldn't be able to be around the one he loved. Hopefully, right?

Saeyong couldn't tell if the embrace was working but he wasn't planning on letting go until he was ready to be freed. He tried to be as gentle as possible, even when he felt the man's body tensing. He was aware of similar reactions when an upset individual was embraced, even had his shoulder drenched in tears and occasional snot. He was thankful for the lack of the latter mostly, but he wouldn't mind a few tears since it was usually helpful where words or actions failed to express what one was feeling. The man seemed to keep most of his composure, but his words gave him away. A quiet sigh escaped his lips as he would reach further up and pat the back of his head, Saeyong saw monsters first hand and they were nothing like him. "You are far from what a monster is, you wouldn't classify as one even if you wanted to." he would say, truthfully. Someone with the amount of remorse for even hurting someone accidentally, how could he be a monster?

Saeyong lit the cigarette between his lips once the two decided to part ways, for the time being at least. He took a long drag before puffing out the smoke, leaning against his car while he fidgeted on his phone to hail a taxi. His eyes darted over to his pocket when he felt the man slip something in it. "I'm not as poor as I look." he would state, reaching in to pull out the card, examining it before he cast a glance back up at him, almost like he asked if he was certain about it. His lips curled into a smirk as he began entering the number on his phone. "I'll accept this." he'd mumble quietly to himself.

"I might just do it for you to chase after me." he would call out, waving. "Don't miss me too much, Darling~ SJ heart " he would text from his phone, giving the other his number in return so he wouldn't just ignore it when he chose to call. Shortly after the man was out of sight his taxi arrived and he hopped in to go home. Once he was seated on that faux leather seat, he realized how much his body needed that rest. What an eventful day.
[Exit]

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O.O.C.



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tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab Location : Soleil Library | Company : No one of note | Mood : Uncomfortable | Residence : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | Profile : Here
Occupation : Soliel Librarian | Status : Single | OOC : --

He has come to enjoy the monotonous tasks which people tend to not care for. Checking in the books waiting in the drop box, preparing books put on hold for customers, sending notifications to customers who have an overdue book, returning books checked in to their spots, dusting the shelves, cleaning the tables, and picking up any trash left behind. The tedious chores which everyone hates to do, but he enjoys the numbness that it allows to fall over him. The way it lets him focus on something else for a change. That it is something he has control over in his life. The other librarians think the manager is just taking advantage of him by having him do the work, but they don't understand that he is the one who asks to do it. He's efficient in his task and he always does it with precision, giving the manager no reason to deny him. There seems to be a divide on reactions towards him amongst the library staff. The ones attracted claim that he is just a guy who likes to be active so he doesn't like to sit still. They aren't entirely wrong, but he knows that their minds aren't exactly in pure places when saying that. The other half call him a suck up and a show off. He's not in this for a reward or to impress anybody. He wants a distraction. Something which can pull his mind away from his demons.

After he finished his breakdown in the middle of the grocery store, he ended up buying the metal cup and took it home. He stared at the fingertip dents he put in it for a good 10 minutes before he made himself dinner and sat outside on his patio to eat. The cup sat there on his counter all morning, afternoon and far into the evening. He didn't look at it again until he went into the kitchen to get some water. After breaking yet another glass by accident, he snatched up the mug and filled it with the water instead. It is just a stupid cup. Treating it as a way of accepting defeat with everything was stupid. Objectively he's aware he was being childish. That using that cup meant he had lost to Carter. Like it had been a competition and not a situation where their relationship had been too filled with trauma to last. He felt like a fool in the morning. So to punish himself, he drank his hot coffee from the metal mug and let the heat burn his hand to remind himself that he broke them on his own. Carter had nothing to do with his own faults, and he's gotten tired of putting all that blame onto Rehan when it was still his own hands. His mind, even though warped. By the time he washed the mug and his burns healed, he felt a little bit better. Better enough to call Castielle to apologize for rushing off the call, asking him to apologize to Masumi for him since he caught him during a tough day.

And now he was finishing up the last of his tasks, feeling better the farther into them he got until he was done. When the trash left his hands and fell into the bin, he felt like his previous break down was dealt with. He's not better, not by a long shot. He still feels raw, like he's been ripped apart over and over again, but he at least feels like he can live with the sting instead of it controlling his life. The grocery store was but a moment of weakness he will not let happen again. He doesn't deserve the luxury of pity anyways.

"If you are done with everything, then you can always head home for the day." Is what he is told when he's reported to one of the other workers, flinching away when she leans just a bit too suggestively, too closely to him. "Ah...no. I can...take care of visitors. I am feeling better." She gives a shrug, and he doesn't look at her expression as she tells him to "suit himself", instead staring at her shoes because he doesn't want to have eye contact while he's feeling uncomfortable with her stare. Objectively she sees something she likes, because she only sees the surface. She doesn't see the damage on the inside. The promise to be cut apart by the shards of glass, and he knows she wouldn't care to anyways. He walks away, ignoring the instinct to flee from her as fast as he can until he is a safe distance away from the employee backroom and on the floor with the customers again. It takes him a minute to calm the panic causing his chest to burn and his skin to tingle uncomfortably, but as soon as he is calm again, he takes a seat at the help desk. He busies himself with organizing any paperwork just so he has something to do until a customer comes.


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ll Neo ll