In the next 3-4 days my mom will be off for like a 4 day weekend I'm guessing. Well, yesterday afternoon I put on facebook how I said something along the lines of, "no easter egg hunts, no candy, no egg dying, nothing really going on this year for me. *sadface* Oh well, happy easter everyone! *happy face*" Then yesterday as soon as my fiance and I came back to the house for easter dinner mom said next year we should dye eggs and how the night before they were looking to get something for me for easter, but they had been picked over a lot. I told them I didn't mind. Then last night after I got back from dropping my fiance off, I was back in my room and she asks through my door if I'd like to go for a mother/daughter day later this week. I said sure, because I didn't expect that.


Background:
My sister and mom have always clashed. My sister looks more like my dad as far as physical traits, but has mom's hair and eyes and skin tone. Me, I have my mom's physique, half hair color, and skin tone, but overall I look more like her than dad. Well, after a huge family feud between my parents and sister back in 2011, my parents finally saw me for me. Not a shadow of my sister. They finally saw my complaints and they actually apologized for some of the neglect that in recent years they should have treated me better than my sister. So, I was finally seen as a real individual in the family. Still, treated like a child, but I wasn't a shadow anymore, they saw the part of me that I wanted to show them all along. How mature I really am, and kind, and helpful, generous, etc.


So, anyways, back to the subject at hand. Opening up. You see, we all have different sides of us. I have a quiet well-behaved independant side that I show my parents. They see I'm really secluded at times, but behaved. I have the professional side of me when meeting others or for school/job. Then, there is the REAL me.......this side, I only show my closest friends I'm comfortable around and my fiance. No one else.

The real me is hard to describe, but my parents don't know about it. I can tell though with the seclusion I show, that they are trying to be involved and want to know the real me. I want to show them the real me, but I have strong feelings that they won't accept it.

Them:
Ultra conservative
Don't practice religion but believe in God/are christians (same with me, but I practice it more than they do on a regular basis).
More close-minded
Their way or the highway, everything revolves around them, they are always right even when they are wrong --> type of thinking/attitude
Leaders

The problem is, we clash. They aren't open to new ideas and ways of thinking. In the past I've tried leaking parts of the real me to them, but they discredit, talk over, or try to prove my way of thinking as wrong. I want to open up to my mother about the real me. My experiences in the past, what I really like, my ideas/ways of thinking, and more. I'd like to open up to my dad about it too, but I have to start small.

I'm really conflicted. If I open up about the real me, then I fear she'll think of me as a loon, won't accept it, and more. yet, I have reasons to believe she would actually understand it. But, I don't know.