Anger and Imitating Christ

[N o r m a R o s e]

Hello.

I am struggling in the area of anger. I am finding myself getting frustrated, annoyed, and angry at a lot of times little things. And despite reminding myself to calm down, I just spiral out of control and start yelling and it shows.

What am I doing wrong? I want to imitate the love of christ but I can't do that when I'm showing anger and frustration.

 

[Father Delacroix]

You are doing nothing wrong...anger and frustration are a natural part of life and everyone struggles, to varying degrees, with both. How you act with and handle it are really what matters. You must understand anger is not always sin, there is a type of anger of which the Bible approves, often called “righteous indignation.” (Psalm 7:11; Mark 3:5). There are two Greek words in the New Testament that are translated as “anger.” One means “passion, energy” and the other means “agitated, boiling.” Biblically, anger is God-given energy intended to help us solve problems. Examples of biblical anger include David’s being upset over hearing Nathan the prophet sharing an injustice (2 Samuel 12) and Jesus’ anger over how some of the Jews had defiled worship at God’s temple in Jerusalem (John 2:13-1 cool . Notice that neither of these examples of anger involved self-defense, but a defense of others or of a principle. With that being said, anger can become sinful when it is motivated by pride (James 1:20), when it is unproductive and thus distorts God’s purposes (1 Corinthians 10:31), or when anger is allowed to linger (Ephesians 4:26-27). One obvious sign that anger has turned to sin is when, instead of attacking the problem at hand, we attack the wrongdoer. Ephesians 4:15-19 says we are to speak the truth in love and use our words to build others up, not allow rotten or destructive words to pour from our lips.....


Sorry I rambled a bit...remember this, through prayer, Bible study, and reliance upon God’s Holy Spirit you can be seen though anything.

Proverbs 3:6 ESV
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.  

[N o r m a R o s e]

Well, last Friday I got upset because our plans didn't work out exactly as planned. And I got frustrated from waiting on hold while trying to activate my phone. Those are two examples.

I think those came from a sinful place but I'm not sure.

 

[Servant Reborn]

Sounds like selfish anger to me. Did you feel like you were owed something right away? That's a natural response for the flesh and you will be unable to conquer it with your own strength. I suggest you read the Bible and meditate on what it has to say, that you fill your soul daily in the morning, and keep at it. Just keep at it. Longsuffering is a gift of the spirit.  

[emorhconom esor]

Just because we are Christians doesn't mean we are perfect. The process of saintification is tough road full of struggles. It's all about practicing the Fruit of the Spirit. I used to struggle with malice and I still do. Through practice I have gotten a lot better and you can too.  

[Aporeia]

Anger and frustration are not sins in themselves, and they can even be used towards good things. How you channel that anger is the most important thing. Heat of the moment kind of junk, it's really just better to breathe it off. You don't have to calm down, but your need to be fully aware of your emotions as they rise, and know how to deal with them.

If you know you're angry, then try to shape the conversation in a way that blows off steam. If the person you're talking to is just belligerent, the best answer is probably just to leave.

Long lasting anger at someone, you just have to let go. That's the only way, really.

At something, then find a way to use all that energy to achieve something productive.  

[Aquatic_blue]

God wouldn't ever want us to act in anger towards anybody. A few verses that support that anger is looked down on:

Ecclesiastes 7:9 NIV:

Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit,
for anger resides in the lap of fools.

Proverbs 29:11 NIV:

Fools give full vent to their rage,
but the wise bring calm in the end.

Proverbs 14:17 NIV:

A quick-tempered person does foolish things,
and the one who devises evil schemes is hated.

And there are many others, but those being a few strong ones. Also, do not fret - we are human beings and do get angry at points. Sometimes over serious issues and sometimes over nothing at all. I've had problems with anger as well so you're not alone smile anger gets the best of us.

The best way to calm down our anger is to replace it with peace. Read God's word daily, and ask God for peace and to help you control your anger.

When I had issues with my anger, reading The Holy Bible helped me a lot. Sometimes I'd do a small Bible study of my own and wind down with a few Psalms or Proverbs to think on because they offer a lot. Also, the books of 1 and 2 Peter have a lot to offer on living as a believer in God.

Anger truly is mind over matter. Sometimes it gets the best of us, but it can be controlled. Sometimes what works for some people is to excuse themselves from the room they are in and go to another room or go outside in order to calm down before re-entering the area they were in. This is generally effective. Sometimes if a person is angry in a place such as a car or a restaurant this may be a bit more challenging. When we face anger, I keep telling myself, "Do not get angry, do not get angry. God doesn't want you to be angry, but to be understanding, joyful, and full of wisdom." I keep repeating something like that to myself if I feel my temper rising.

When we get angry, we can do a lot of things we regret. Some people resort to violence and break things in their anger and then realize what they had done and regret it completely because sometimes it's not only their stuff they damaged, but something that was precious to somebody else. I know that when I got angry, I normally said things that I would regret so I would also remind myself that if I got angry, I would regret it later. Anger doesn't only affect us, but it affects people around us. 3nodding  

[Blaise-Ingram]

If you feel like you're having anger issues, you could always go see a therapist for a couple sessions and see if you guys could talk it out and find out what the root problem is, if there is one.

I know I definitely have anger issues, I get angry a lot, but when I get angry I start crying, and I can't do that because I have a job and I'm supposed to remain professional at all times.

Being angry all the time (it's okay to be angry on occasion, but just not often) can sometimes hurt other people. God will always be there, but people won't, so maybe if you just talk it out with someone and maybe they can help you learn to curb your anger or dilute it or find some way to keep you calm.

I've been doing better after I talked it out with some people and recognized the source of my anger, which was stress and having other people getting in the way of things I wanted/needed all the time and being unable to do anything about it, which made me very very angry and frustrated to the point that other people were starting to take notice and it was starting to hurt my credibility.

So yeah, don't let it go too far. Just try to find someone you can sit down and talk to about all your frustrations and stuff. You can talk to God, but sometimes you need to talk to another human being, too. :]