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 Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2013 3:12 pm
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Sometimes, God is so real to me. Sometimes, I'm really into it
However, my old life and my old ways keep showing up and tempting me.
I feel like I have an evil side that I entertained for way too long, and now that I'm trying to be good and nice and hopeful, my evil side which I'm all too familiar with keeps popping up
I know that there is no hope or future for myself through that evil side, the negative mindset, the hurting people and living life as if it's hopeless
However, I feel so much more familiar with it, like that's who I am. Who I am in Christ is harder to grasp and often a fleeting vision to me, and at times it doesn't even feel real.
I have been going back and forth very drastically between my true hope and trust and beliefs in Jesus, and then these sudden very depressing lies about Jesus and everything associated not being real. In these times, I feel very alone and disconnected from the spiritual world. This scares me a lot.
I can only hope that God is real and wants me saved, I can only hope that Jesus is really looking out for me and wanting my life to be used for His glory, but it's often very difficult to imagine this being the case.
Please pray for me and if anyone relates or has any words, I would be open to that
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Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2013 3:56 pm
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*Ahem*
You are a sinful, wretched, terrible person who has caused harm to others somehow and is generally unworthy of salvation. Welcome to the club, 'cuz that makes you the same as every other Christian on the planet. And everyone who's not, actually. Personally, I don't really care how big your problems are, or even how many times you fall. ^^ What matters is that you do your best and pick yourself up when you're down and give it all another go. Bad things happen. Pretty much everyone has doubts, fears, concerns, and worries when it comes to their faith, not to mention all kinds of temptation.
On the other hand, you are valuable simply for existing. You are not a thing that can be replaced by stamping stuff out in a celestial factory. You are an independent person with free will and thus the ability to make your own choices... and bear the consequences for them. God knows what your problems are, and He's quite willing to overlook them. If you didn't have the ability to fail, after all, you'd only be a puppet on a string... and that's not why you exist.
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Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2013 6:25 pm
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Rednal *Ahem* You are a sinful, wretched, terrible person who has caused harm to others somehow and is generally unworthy of salvation. Welcome to the club, 'cuz that makes you the same as every other Christian on the planet. And everyone who's not, actually. Personally, I don't really care how big your problems are, or even how many times you fall. ^^ What matters is that you do your best and pick yourself up when you're down and give it all another go. Bad things happen. Pretty much everyone has doubts, fears, concerns, and worries when it comes to their faith, not to mention all kinds of temptation. On the other hand, you are valuable simply for existing. You are not a thing that can be replaced by stamping stuff out in a celestial factory. You are an independent person with free will and thus the ability to make your own choices... and bear the consequences for them. God knows what your problems are, and He's quite willing to overlook them. If you didn't have the ability to fail, after all, you'd only be a puppet on a string... and that's not why you exist.
Thank you for this !!! I do feel the grace of God, and no, I'm not lost because I've been bad. I just have to keep pursuing Him despite fears, doubts and failure.
And thank you for reminding me that I AM valuable, and can't be replaced ...because I often feel that I'm "too far gone" and other nonsense like that ...
Anyway, thank you for your encouraging response! ^^ |
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Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2013 3:32 pm
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tinklR Sometimes, God is so real to me. Sometimes, I'm really into it However, my old life and my old ways keep showing up and tempting me. I feel like I have an evil side that I entertained for way too long, and now that I'm trying to be good and nice and hopeful, my evil side which I'm all too familiar with keeps popping up I know that there is no hope or future for myself through that evil side, the negative mindset, the hurting people and living life as if it's hopeless However, I feel so much more familiar with it, like that's who I am. Who I am in Christ is harder to grasp and often a fleeting vision to me, and at times it doesn't even feel real. I have been going back and forth very drastically between my true hope and trust and beliefs in Jesus, and then these sudden very depressing lies about Jesus and everything associated not being real. In these times, I feel very alone and disconnected from the spiritual world. This scares me a lot. I can only hope that God is real and wants me saved, I can only hope that Jesus is really looking out for me and wanting my life to be used for His glory, but it's often very difficult to imagine this being the case. Please pray for me and if anyone relates or has any words, I would be open to that
I can definitely relate. I had an OBE when I was little, which was how I first believed in God and Jesus. Well, over the years with the media, various churches I went to, different friends, EVERYONE had different words/views on Christianity and the same branch of Christianity too (I'm a Baptist). So, with that I began to sway and question things. At times, like you, I would believe and things would seem okay, but not fully there. Other times, I would be swayed and go more into Spirituality as far as magical crafts and such. It was a vicious cycle for over the course of about 16 years. And, other events and such during that time would influence one path and then the other, which helped with the swaying. Then what helped me was everything I went through last year, the last 6 months of last year. Life got so rough and I wanted to give up on faith. I mean, at one time I'd wake up every day (I was chronically sick for several months), and wonder, "so when is the pain going to kick in?" and "how long will this last?" I was truly like a zombie, and with stress from losing so many people, ex friends, in my life in horrible ways (ending friendships), it really just got me down. So, 3-4 months ago I met a friend on here. God led her to me. And I explained my hardships and problems with faith. For a week she prayed for me, then said God led her to ask help/advice from her Guild for me. Once in the guild, my eyes were opened up to Christianity. Things were starting to make sense. I swayed for 2 weeks, had a massive breakdown and prayed to God. Also, I had prayed one day while I was sick to God that I would turn my life around 360 degrees if He would heal me from the chronic sickness. Well, by mid December I was practically healed. I started getting better. So in January, I got better and decided to dedicate the rest of my life getting closer to God and doing better. And, for the past 2 months, I've grown closer to God. I finally found what people say.
They say once you find God's love you won't be separated from Him anymore. After so many years, I finally found His love. And, it was wonderful. Every day I read scriptures and if I can't, I definitely pray every night the following:
The Original Christian Bedtime Prayer
The Salvation Prayer
A prayer to those who asked for my help
A prayer for protection of self/friends/family
A prayer of thanks
A prayer (daily focuses/struggles) for strength/wisdom
(and of course/when need be) A prayer of confessions
The longest I've prayed straight is between an hour and a half to 2 hours. On average, anywhere from 5-15 minutes a day.
Also, I've been getting into a good habit of praying for strangers. It's a really good feeling. I feel like in a way, I've helped them out.
I myself don't go to church yet. And, I haven't been baptized yet either. I haven't found the right church for me and I'm hoping closer to the Spring/Late Spring both will happen and hopefully be my friend's grandmother's church because I've had a strong feeling about it from time to time.
When you're struggling pray. When you have mixed emotions pray. When you are happy/thankful pray. Not saying you have to do it all the time, but it's a good habit and it's a way to build a connection with God.
But, since I've been growing closer to God, I now have this warm/happy/safe feeling inside. At least, that's me. In a way, it may sound like routine, but it's not. You get into this habit and it's a good one. He hears us and answers us if we reach for Him and accept Him into our lives and hearts as our Lord and Saviour.
I'm truly thankful. I truly hope you can find God's love and become stronger. Just keep trying. God doesn't give up on us. He's always there. So, we shouldn't give up on Him.
Here is a video that has helped me:
A Love Letter From God
That video is one thing that helped me come to the realization that God cares and that His word is strong. It helped me also realize the Bible wasn't just a set of rules that I couldn't understand (I have dyslexia), that it's really Him speaking to us and that He wants to help us and is there for us. It was powerful for me and I actually cried. This was also at one of the times I was truly struggling, and it gave me hope.
I hope it helps you too. Good luck. |
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i r i d e s s i c a n c e
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Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2013 4:01 pm
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Psalm 139
New King James Version (NKJV)
God’s Perfect Knowledge of Man
For the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David.
139 O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
2 You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
3 You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
5 You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.
7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
18 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.
19 Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God!
Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.
20 For they speak against You wickedly;
Your enemies take Your name in vain.
21 Do I not hate them, O Lord, who hate You?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
22 I hate them with perfect hatred;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
24 And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
Jeremiah 17:7-8 7
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
And whose hope is the Lord.
8 For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters,
Which spreads out its roots by the river,
And will not fear when heat comes;
But its leaf will be green,
And will not be anxious in the year of drought,
Nor will cease from yielding fruit.
Psalm 23
New King James Version (NKJV)
The Lord the Shepherd of His People
A Psalm of David.
23 The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
3 He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.
Psalm 37
New King James Version (NKJV)
The Heritage of the Righteous and the Calamity of the Wicked
A Psalm of David.
37 Do not fret because of evildoers,
Nor be envious of the workers of iniquity.
2 For they shall soon be cut down like the grass,
And wither as the green herb.
3 Trust in the Lord, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
4 Delight yourself also in the Lord,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.
6 He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,
And your justice as the noonday.
7 Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.
8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath;
Do not fret—it only causes harm.
9 For evildoers shall be cut off;
But those who wait on the Lord,
They shall inherit the earth.
10 For yet a little while and the wicked shall be no more;
Indeed, you will look carefully for his place,
But it shall be no more.
11 But the meek shall inherit the earth,
And shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.
12 The wicked plots against the just,
And gnashes at him with his teeth.
13 The Lord laughs at him,
For He sees that his day is coming.
14 The wicked have drawn the sword
And have bent their bow,
To cast down the poor and needy,
To slay those who are of upright conduct.
15 Their sword shall enter their own heart,
And their bows shall be broken.
16 A little that a righteous man has
Is better than the riches of many wicked.
17 For the arms of the wicked shall be broken,
But the Lord upholds the righteous.
18 The Lord knows the days of the upright,
And their inheritance shall be forever.
19 They shall not be ashamed in the evil time,
And in the days of famine they shall be satisfied.
20 But the wicked shall perish;
And the enemies of the Lord,
Like the splendor of the meadows, shall vanish.
Into smoke they shall vanish away.
21 The wicked borrows and does not repay,
But the righteous shows mercy and gives.
22 For those blessed by Him shall inherit the earth,
But those cursed by Him shall be cut off.
23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord,
And He delights in his way.
24 Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;
For the Lord upholds him with His hand.
25 I have been young, and now am old;
Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken,
Nor his descendants begging bread.
26 He is ever merciful, and lends;
And his descendants are blessed.
27 Depart from evil, and do good;
And dwell forevermore.
28 For the Lord loves justice,
And does not forsake His saints;
They are preserved forever,
But the descendants of the wicked shall be cut off.
29 The righteous shall inherit the land,
And dwell in it forever.
30 The mouth of the righteous speaks wisdom,
And his tongue talks of justice.
31 The law of his God is in his heart;
None of his steps shall slide.
32 The wicked watches the righteous,
And seeks to slay him.
33 The Lord will not leave him in his hand,
Nor condemn him when he is judged.
34 Wait on the Lord,
And keep His way,
And He shall exalt you to inherit the land;
When the wicked are cut off, you shall see it.
35 I have seen the wicked in great power,
And spreading himself like a native green tree.
36 Yet he passed away, and behold, he was no more;
Indeed I sought him, but he could not be found.
37 Mark the blameless man, and observe the upright;
For the future of that man is peace.
38 But the transgressors shall be destroyed together;
The future of the wicked shall be cut off.
39 But the salvation of the righteous is from the Lord;
He is their strength in the time of trouble.
40 And the Lord shall help them and deliver them;
He shall deliver them from the wicked,
And save them,
Because they trust in Him.
1 Peter 5:5-11
Submit to God, Resist the Devil
5 Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for
“God resists the proud,
But gives grace to the humble.”
6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, 7 casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 9 Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. 10 But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. 11 To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
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Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 5:22 am
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Posted: Mon Mar 04, 2013 2:58 pm
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Posted: Mon Mar 04, 2013 4:07 pm
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Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 2:48 pm
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Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 8:51 am
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Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 4:30 am
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I can definitely relate to you there, Tinklr.
I feel like sometimes I get lost in the doctrine of Christianity too much, and forget about the point of being a Christian, which is loving Christ. I converted to Christianity a few years ago and some things still make me scratch my head a bit.
For the longest time I had a difficult time understanding the logic behind why someone would have their own son killed, and how that has ANYTHING to do with forgiving an entire species of their transgressions. It didn't make any sense to me, logically and emotionally, up until maybe a year ago.
People can throw around mumbo-jumbo buzzwords like "grace" and "love" and "faith" like I'm seeing some of the posters on here doing so far, but sometimes normal people forget the meaning behind these words. They just hear about "God's grace" and "God's love", but no one ever really sits down to think about what these things really MEAN.
Hearing the exact same generic thing that people talk about at church doesn't have the same effect as sitting down yourself and really thinking about everything and what it means.
What does it really mean to be a sinner? What does it mean for God to love us? A lot of these questions people don't consider, they just rehearse exactly what they hear at church without really thinking about their faith and why they believe what they believe, and whether they really believe it at all.
I think struggling to understand the faith, God, and love are normal occurrences that everyone goes through. We're all different people, and you can give ten people the same problem, and they may all solve it differently. And there's nothing wrong with that.
Just keep on keepin' on. And just remember that every breath and every heartbeat in your body is a gift from God. :]
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Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 4:35 am
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kesuke uchiha lol if you dont feel satan trying to get a hold of you again....your doing something wrong you were saved from evil.....and evil will always want you back....the temptation is just satan's way of trying to trick you back into sin it should be taken as a compliment just think of him saying "dang it....come now...look how fun it is...come on...... crying please?...."
^^^ THIS. lol.
Evil will always want you back, it will never be easy, you'll probably be fighting it for the rest of your life until you die.
BUT YOU CAN STILL TRY TO KICK EVIL IN THE BUTT. May as well do some butt-kicking while you're still around, right? |
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Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 5:49 pm
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Blaise-Ingram kesuke uchiha lol if you dont feel satan trying to get a hold of you again....your doing something wrong you were saved from evil.....and evil will always want you back....the temptation is just satan's way of trying to trick you back into sin it should be taken as a compliment just think of him saying "dang it....come now...look how fun it is...come on...... crying please?...." ^^^ THIS. lol. Evil will always want you back, it will never be easy, you'll probably be fighting it for the rest of your life until you die. BUT YOU CAN STILL TRY TO KICK EVIL IN THE BUTT. May as well do some butt-kicking while you're still around, right?
You have a nice way of saying things. XD |
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Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 6:12 pm
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Don't let the world get you down, girlie! When you're feeling pressed, remember that Jesus was sent not only to save us from our sins, but also so that we could have a savior that could relate to our problems. Jesus was tempted in every way we have been, and I take comfort in knowing that is is possible to be not sin when we are tempted. If you're feeling alone, imagine how Jesus must have felt when he was on the cross. God hadn't abandoned him, but I'm sure it felt like it to him. In the world, he was alone except for God, and sometimes that's the way us as Christians must be. But feel comforted by the words, "No temptation has overcome you that has not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation, he will also provide a way of escape, that you may escape it." 1st Corinthians 10:13, ESV version. Also, "Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for He has said, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5, ESV version. Love you and am praying for you.
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