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 Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 1:35 am
Just wanted to share it. I don't have any intense feelings about it but I'd like to share and hear some of your stories if it relates to you.
I moved to the area I live in almost 13 years ago. I went from a house in the city on a block of many other kids my age to here where the homes are more spread out and a smaller population. I had a hard time making friends. First there were these twin girls a little older than me who decided it would be fun to joke around with me and pretend we were friends. And when they were done they just made fun of me. As the years went by friends came and left willingly because they had more fun friends elsewhere. For the majority of the time since then I was friends with one girl who lived nearby. But throughout it seemed like she was in a separate world from me. I was home schooled and she had her own friends, she was spoiled and immature, and let guy after guy use her. Probably to make up for the attention her parents replaced with material things. I patiently stood by watching her make her mistakes, jumping from one relationship to the next without ever listening to the advice she constantly begged me for. But in the end she still just put me second whenever her latest boy snapped his fingers. And for her graduation I was present for she received a lot of money from relatives and just said see you later when she went to go celebrate with her school friends. I started to understand she wasn't interested in changing her life for the better. And what was I doing standing around as her backup when her little world fell apart so she would go right back to it again? Her plan is to find a guy to marry and basically live off his income while she raises his unintended kid. Which I saw coming years ahead. Not that being a stay at home wife/mother is actually a bad thing, but I know she's just still that spoiled little girl and never intends to pull her own weight. I made the final decision to end our friendship when the first thing she wanted to talk about after finding out about how torn up I was over my dad's death was what my brother said about her boyfriend. She didn't even ask me how I was feeling. So now I don't have any friends. And that's fine with me. I don't want to be someone's backup when they're bored and be turned down with some stupid excuse every time I'm the one who makes the plans.
Well, that's my story. Did you ever have to end a bad friendship with someone who was just no good in your life?
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 10:30 pm
That's really harsh but I don't think I every had a bad friendship just ones that slowly drift away, I'm the same way being someone's backup and frankly not every friend is use to it. Never have someone to talk to and listen to them, I kinda put their well being before my one
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Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 8:37 am
There have been a couple times in my life. Most notably my ex-best friend.
See, back when I was first talking to my now boyfriend (A.L.), I was just the friend he happened to stumble upon who was there to support him and cheer him up. His ex had broken up with him a little less than a month before and she said some not-so-nice things that helped sink him into depression.
We'd been "friends" for years online. Meaning, we had each other on gaia and facebook and talked on occasion over the years. So, after a year and a half of no contact, he started talking to me again. We hit it off well enough. He started invading my thoughts, and I (surprisingly enough) started invading his. But he still wanted to get back with his ex, and this is where our troubles begin.
T.R, was my best friend at the time. We'd been friends/best friends for almost 8 years. I told her everything. I told her I was falling for this guy online, and that he liked me back, but there was some conflict. And she was okay at first. She told me to be careful. I was happy for her support.
Things progressed for A.L and I, and I thought everything would be okay for us. But on Halloween, he told me again that he wanted to go back to her. He was waffling. I was heartbroken. I thought he'd started to move on. We'd even been discussing about having a phone call for the first time.
He said that he wanted to have the phone call anyways, because he needed a better sense of who I was. So we decided to have the phone call the next day. It was a short call, only 10 mins or so. But I was so nervous. He sent me a text after. It literally said, "I chose the wrong girl". And from then on, we continued our phone calls.
But back to T.R. It got worse with her. She was being completely unsupportive. She was telling me how he didn't love/like me. That he was going back to his ex. She went on to say how "sex is key in controlling men", and how if I "sleep with him, he'll fall for you, but not for the right reasons. So don't do it".
How could she say these things?? She'd never even spoken to the guy. It felt like I was being slapped in the face. She went on to claim about how she didn't want me making the same mistakes as she did. I was so mad at at her, I felt like I was seeing red whenever we talked and the subject of A.L was brought up. So I stopped talking to her.
In that time, A.L said he'd be coming to Toronto to meet me. His ex had made a nasty comment about our relationship falling apart cause it was only online/phone. And that's what finalized his plans on coming to Toronto.
T.R started talking to me on msn msgr one day, and we ended up in another argument. Right in the middle of it, she says, "So what does this mean for my birthday?".
Wait, what?.
That was the final straw. I just stopped talking to her. I couldn't stand her negativity anymore, or her lack of support. I was fed up with how she was acting towards me.
There's a little more to the story, but that's the main part.
There is a lot of detail I left out, but that's the gist of the story.
Best part is, he's still my boyfriend. He's such a loyal person, and 4 months into the relationship, he moved to Toronto for me smile
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Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 9:12 am
Damn I just sucked at being friends with people since all they want to do is use me. One even went so far as to pretend she liked me so she can experiment sexually with me. But your stories are just as heart breaking
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Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2013 5:09 am
Little-Lenah There have been a couple times in my life. Most notably my ex-best friend.
See, back when I was first talking to my now boyfriend (A.L.), I was just the friend he happened to stumble upon who was there to support him and cheer him up. His ex had broken up with him a little less than a month before and she said some not-so-nice things that helped sink him into depression.
We'd been "friends" for years online. Meaning, we had each other on gaia and facebook and talked on occasion over the years. So, after a year and a half of no contact, he started talking to me again. We hit it off well enough. He started invading my thoughts, and I (surprisingly enough) started invading his. But he still wanted to get back with his ex, and this is where our troubles begin.
T.R, was my best friend at the time. We'd been friends/best friends for almost 8 years. I told her everything. I told her I was falling for this guy online, and that he liked me back, but there was some conflict. And she was okay at first. She told me to be careful. I was happy for her support.
Things progressed for A.L and I, and I thought everything would be okay for us. But on Halloween, he told me again that he wanted to go back to her. He was waffling. I was heartbroken. I thought he'd started to move on. We'd even been discussing about having a phone call for the first time.
He said that he wanted to have the phone call anyways, because he needed a better sense of who I was. So we decided to have the phone call the next day. It was a short call, only 10 mins or so. But I was so nervous. He sent me a text after. It literally said, "I chose the wrong girl". And from then on, we continued our phone calls.
But back to T.R. It got worse with her. She was being completely unsupportive. She was telling me how he didn't love/like me. That he was going back to his ex. She went on to say how "sex is key in controlling men", and how if I "sleep with him, he'll fall for you, but not for the right reasons. So don't do it".
How could she say these things?? She'd never even spoken to the guy. It felt like I was being slapped in the face. She went on to claim about how she didn't want me making the same mistakes as she did. I was so mad at at her, I felt like I was seeing red whenever we talked and the subject of A.L was brought up. So I stopped talking to her.
In that time, A.L said he'd be coming to Toronto to meet me. His ex had made a nasty comment about our relationship falling apart cause it was only online/phone. And that's what finalized his plans on coming to Toronto.
T.R started talking to me on msn msgr one day, and we ended up in another argument. Right in the middle of it, she says, "So what does this mean for my birthday?".
Wait, what?.
That was the final straw. I just stopped talking to her. I couldn't stand her negativity anymore, or her lack of support. I was fed up with how she was acting towards me.
There's a little more to the story, but that's the main part.
There is a lot of detail I left out, but that's the gist of the story.
Best part is, he's still my boyfriend. He's such a loyal person, and 4 months into the relationship, he moved to Toronto for me smile
What a rotten friend. If I didn't know any better I'd say she was jealous or thought he belonged to her. But you're lucky you found someone who does care about you and will go to great lengths to be with you. That's actually somewhat similar to how I met my fiance. We both started online and on phone calls and over time he moved closer to my area until we lived together. Only neither of us had previous partners worth missing.
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