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 Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 6:12 pm
I think I finally reached my limit when it comes to disappointment my entire life since 2010 has been a complete and utter waste I mean before that I lived like a prince I was treated with respect I had friends and people I could trust.But then as soon as the new year came along all hell broke lose first comes the part where all my childhood friends abandoned me and called me creepy then I end up falling behind in my classes and almost don't graduate because of a stupid quota after that I thought hey I worked hard maybe now I deserve to have some fun right? Well no after that my father frigging destroyed my way of life (dont want to go into details on that) and my mother becomes a nagging witch everytime I would do something that should have made them proud all I would get was a you could do better or you should be doing that anyway. Well I thought okay atleast I have friends right? Wrong turns out none of them were really my friends on the day of my birthday when I invited all of them to come and was waiting for them patiently they ******** have the kid in the class that's most like me send me a message that says "No ones going" just that no happy birthday or anything just that I was devastated I thought I lost everything and I was thinking why not just end it right? I mean my life is going down the drain I dont have anyone who cares about me so why not.But that's when I met one of my friends on gaia shes nice helps me alot and is a really good friend a actually found myself falling in love with her and thought hey why not tell her how i feel so I did and she told me we were like Brother and sister and well that made me really happy.Fast forward to today after a long time of my love for this girl growing I end up telling her how much I love her only to be told "sorry but I don't feel the same way but your still my little brother" I truly think this is what tips the knife into my veins I mean she was the only thing keeping me from doing it in the first place now what I don't have a gf no girl ever wants to go out with me I'm most likely gonna die alone so what's the point.I know this is stupid to post but I just really want some help cause my life...my life is literally becoming my worst nightmare.
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Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 7:25 pm
Your old friends sound like your jerks, so you're probably better off without them.
Your parents might not show you how much they care, but they probably do care.
The girl you like might not like you the same way that you like her. But it sounds like she does care about you and want you in her life.
Things might not be going your way right now. But you still have a lot of life left to live. You still have a lot of things left to do and a lot of people left to meet. If you were to end it now you could end up missing out on some amazing things. You might make some better friends in the future. You might find a great partner. My grandfather didn't meet his wife until he was like 60 years old. So you just never know what's waiting for you up ahead. But you know what? Even if you didn't make great finds or find a great partner, that would be ok too. Because you don't need other people to make you happy anyway. Sure, other people can make it easier or harder for you to be happy. But when it really comes down to it, you are in charge of your happiness. You can view things in a positive way or a negative way. You can dwell on the bad or you can learn from it, move on, and get to the good stuff. No matter what anyone else says or does, you can still do things that you enjoy, that matter to you, and that make you proud.
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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:26 am
That is pretty rubbish, I suppose.
The thing is though, and I get that a lot of people would say this to you, but really, seriously, don't give in. Just keep going, kicking and screaming and you will find things that make life a bit easier.
It's a shame that the girl doesn't like you in the same way, but at least she does care about you, which you seemed to be lacking in previously. It's better to have someone who likes you in the wrong way than nobody at all.
Don't try to make other people happy, because that isn't always what will make you happy as well, and sometimes it's yourself that you need to put first. just do what you want, and everyone else can wait.
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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 12:06 pm
Voldeturtle That is pretty rubbish, I suppose. The thing is though, and I get that a lot of people would say this to you, but really, seriously, don't give in. Just keep going, kicking and screaming and you will find things that make life a bit easier. It's a shame that the girl doesn't like you in the same way, but at least she does care about you, which you seemed to be lacking in previously. It's better to have someone who likes you in the wrong way than nobody at all. Don't try to make other people happy, because that isn't always what will make you happy as well, and sometimes it's yourself that you need to put first. just do what you want, and everyone else can wait. I totally get where your coming from and I've tried putting myself first but every time I do I get told I'm selfish cold a bad person who only gets on peoples nerves.I I Once was asked by my parents to stay home but when I reminded them of plans I had made a long time ago and told them about they got mad at me and told me I only think of myself and then just made me stay home then when my friend asked me and I told him he just said I was antisocial and depressing.
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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 4:09 pm
Kamino Nabarre Voldeturtle That is pretty rubbish, I suppose. The thing is though, and I get that a lot of people would say this to you, but really, seriously, don't give in. Just keep going, kicking and screaming and you will find things that make life a bit easier. It's a shame that the girl doesn't like you in the same way, but at least she does care about you, which you seemed to be lacking in previously. It's better to have someone who likes you in the wrong way than nobody at all. Don't try to make other people happy, because that isn't always what will make you happy as well, and sometimes it's yourself that you need to put first. just do what you want, and everyone else can wait. I totally get where your coming from and I've tried putting myself first but every time I do I get told I'm selfish cold a bad person who only gets on peoples nerves.I I Once was asked by my parents to stay home but when I reminded them of plans I had made a long time ago and told them about they got mad at me and told me I only think of myself and then just made me stay home then when my friend asked me and I told him he just said I was antisocial and depressing. That is a problem. My mum did that to me once - I was out to see my boyfriend for the last time before I went on holiday for a while, and she just called me home for something she hadn't mentioned before and had a go at me for being out. The friend, however, was being a d**k there. There's no other way to say it, really. You have a right to complain about stuff and a right to be antisocial and depressed at times. He also has an expected right to be at least a little polite.
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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 4:20 pm
Voldeturtle Kamino Nabarre Voldeturtle That is pretty rubbish, I suppose. The thing is though, and I get that a lot of people would say this to you, but really, seriously, don't give in. Just keep going, kicking and screaming and you will find things that make life a bit easier. It's a shame that the girl doesn't like you in the same way, but at least she does care about you, which you seemed to be lacking in previously. It's better to have someone who likes you in the wrong way than nobody at all. Don't try to make other people happy, because that isn't always what will make you happy as well, and sometimes it's yourself that you need to put first. just do what you want, and everyone else can wait. I totally get where your coming from and I've tried putting myself first but every time I do I get told I'm selfish cold a bad person who only gets on peoples nerves.I I Once was asked by my parents to stay home but when I reminded them of plans I had made a long time ago and told them about they got mad at me and told me I only think of myself and then just made me stay home then when my friend asked me and I told him he just said I was antisocial and depressing. That is a problem. My mum did that to me once - I was out to see my boyfriend for the last time before I went on holiday for a while, and she just called me home for something she hadn't mentioned before and had a go at me for being out. The friend, however, was being a d**k there. There's no other way to say it, really. You have a right to complain about stuff and a right to be antisocial and depressed at times. He also has an expected right to be at least a little polite. yeah that's why I stopped hanging out with him.My parents after that just got worst everytime I do something to upset all of a sudden I'm the bad guy at that point even when im right they still argue even though its about something I did and they saw me do I mean seriously you saw me and you still say I didn't? And they wonder why I lock myself in my room and don't want to really socialize with them because everytime were out with friends its all about appearance really we have to be a "functional family" who is doing well but when home they gain their attitude and just start to do the same calling my music my hobbies stupid and me an idiot
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Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 9:49 pm
Wow, sry you're going through that much of a great deal! I've had my lows probably like 3 times in my entire life and I sort of feel a 4th creeping on me but what's helping me to prevent falling into depression or being anti-social is my Son. I haven't had a 'low' time since he was born, he's 16 months now, and not do I feel I can't/shouldn't be low around him.. but he's also helping me prevent it 'cause although he may not know what's troubling me, he sure does know how to cheer me up!
I almost committed suicide once.. no one in my family knows.. and I've contemplated it quite a bit a few times before my Son was born.
I'm not saying, "GET A KID!" to end your depression, I'm just trying to say that I can relate but like others have said, you have a lot to live on. Had I committed suicide, I would have never gotten the opportunity to see or know of my Son. He wouldn't have existed. =[ Thinking of that right now hurts my heart. You can only imagine what you might miss out on in the future but you will never really know unless you hold on. Holding on shows ur strength.. shows what you will and are capable of enduring.. and that you have faith/hope for better things to come along.
AND THEY WILL.
Unfortunately.. you never know WHEN. But the best part is that when things start to brighten in your dark world.. no matter HOW LONG u were suffering for.. it was all worth it.
I know my Son is.
heart
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