walmart

[Waffle King Richard]

Okay, as a heads up, this is actually an unfinished project from another Guild (Was never completed). It came about from a chat on the forum.

walmart*

As the midday sun loomed overhead, a walmart* Supercenter somewhere in the United States, felt the hustle and bustle of the crowds doing some holiday shopping. Yes, the holiday season had come once more to walmart*, and kids were browsing through the toys as parents tried to convince the kids that they would have to ask Santa for their gifts, though it didn’t help that some kids started screaming that they wanted their gifts now, not whenever Santa chooses to deliver them.

Whilst this was taking place, a group of individuals wearing black trench coats and dark sunglasses entered the store and glanced around, before nodding to one another. “This will do perfect” one of them mentioned with a devilish grin on their face. An elderly gentleman in a Wal-Mart outfit smiled at them. “Welcome to walmart*! Get your s**t, and get out!” One of the others walked over and handed the elderly man an envelope stuffed with $100 bills, before telling the man to go and take a break. With a smile of joy, the man left. With that, they proceeded with the first part of the procedure.

Taking their coats and glasses off, 4 shopping carts were collected and set up in the aisle, with crowds trying to get around them. Grabbing an intercom phone, the same person who had given the greeter all that money, took a deep breath whilst typing an extension into the phone. “Ladies and Gentlemen!” she then lowered her voice and added “And snot-nosed annoying brats!” Bringing the enthusiasm back up, she continued. “Welcome to walmart*. Indeed, whilst you came to do your shopping today, we have an added bonus for you! For today is the most important day in the history of the world! We invite you to continue browsing whilst enjoying some cart racing, for the Largest Couple Ever Guild World Cart Racing Championship! This is truly history in the making! I am your outside host, wxgirl, and I would like to introduce to all of you, your contestants; who will run in two dead heat trials of 4, with those in first and second from each trial going onto the finals. So without further ado, let’s hear it for the championship racers of the world! Firstly, she scares everyone she invades the dreams of. A round of applause for [Your Worst Nightmare].” She waved, but there was no attention being made of her. “Next, representing all that is innocent and pure in this world, we have TAY3LOR!” Still, no reaction. “Wow! Tough crowd!” wxgirl commented.

At that moment, Managers converged and started demanding they go, only to have wxgirl shine $1 bills in their faces and thus the managers shut up. “Continuing on then. Next, we have Evenkurugen!” Ironically, Even got a reaction, though not the reaction he had hoped for. A few passers by booed and heckled him, until he got out his ever untrustworthy sidekick Sasha. As soon as they saw Sasha, the crowd shut up. Another member bopped Even on the head and confiscated Sasha from him. “You can have this back after class, young man.” Evenkurugen whined in sadness as wxgirl continued the introductions. “Continuing now, if I may, we next have CyanideCherub!” The crowd cheered in a standing ovation and uproar as Cherub smiled and grinned at Even. “Followed by Detective Karma!” Another huge round of applause was heard. “Next is Prince Richard of Waffles!” this time, only the sound of crickets chirping could be heard. wxgirl looked over at both Evenkurugen and Prince Richard. “I’m guessing this crowd favors the ladies. Still, next we have a fellow Canadian of Prince Richard, give a round of good cheer for e t u r e!” The crowd cheered as two ladies told her to kick the butts of the 2 guys racing. “And last but certainly not least, let’s have a round for sage hirihono, the leader of the Largest Couple Ever Guild!” The crowd was overjoyed to see sage, to which she bowed and accepted a bouquet of red roses from one of the onlookers.

“It is now time for the first heat. Remember that only the carts in first and second place will advance to the finals! With that, let me announce which racers will be in this heat. Those not participating in this heat may go off and browse the store if they like.” wxgirl grabbed a sheet of paper. “For Heat One, we have sage hirihono, TAY3LOR, Evenkurugen, and [Your Worst Nightmare]! Participants to your shopping carts!” As the four of them got into position, wxgirl began counting down. “10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1… Carts gone!” The four carts took off, heading towards the produce area at high speed, whilst narrowly avoiding shoppers who were oblivious to what was going on in the store. “Four racers going for two final places! [Your Worst Nightmare] and TAY3LOR are the early leaders, with sage hirihono pressing in third, and Evenkurugen seeming to lag behind a bit as they head towards the produce area.”

As the four reached the produce area, Evenkurugen charged and rammed his cart into TAY3LOR’s, pushing her into a display on bananas and toppling her cart. “Well, that’s not in the rulebook! No one messes I guess with Evenkurugen!” wxgirl mentioned for the observers. TAY3LOR got up as the others left her behind and lifted her cart, now furious as hell at Even for his stunt. “EVEN, YOU JERK!” she shouted before charging after them. Up ahead, [Your Worst Nightmare] still led, but with sage and Even close on her tail. “Up into the Toys Department! It’s still [Your Worst Nightmare] in the lead, but sage is pressing hard as is Evenkurugen!” Suddenly, Even and sage ram their cats from opposite sides into [Your Worst Nightmare] and force her off balance. “It’s the double whammy from both sage and Evenkurugen!” The race continued without officials getting involved. “Into the Boys and Girls clothing area now! It’s sage hirihono leading, with Evenkurugen in second, TAY3LOR in third, and [Your Worst Nightmare] in forth.” Taking the inside line, [Your Worst Nightmare] passes TAY3LOR. “[Your Worst Nightmare] takes TAY3LOR and goes into third!”

As [Your Worst Nightmare] gained on Evenkurugen, she grabbed a skirt from one of the racks and threw it over his head, momentarily blinding Even. sage saw what happened and twisted her cart sideways slightly, forcing [Your Worst Nightmare] to crash into a shopper and break the shopper’s ankle. “Don’t mess with the bosses! sage still leads, with Even in second place having cleared that skirt from over his head. This is getting HOT!!!” As they exited the clothing racks, TAY3LOR got a full head of steam and charged hard. “Coming back towards the finish line now, and TAY3LOR makes her move! She passes [Your Worst Nightmare]! She passes Even! She’s even passed sage! TAY3LOR MUST WIN!!!” Sadly, it was not to be, as she entered the final turn too quickly and gravity pulled her into a display of cosmetics, coating her and her cart in makeup. “She’s overdone it! TAY3LOR crashes!” sage retakes the lead and pumps her fists in the air as she passes the checkered flag and wins, followed closely by Even in second place. “Winner of Heat One! sage hirihono! With Evenkurugen in second place! sage hirihono and Evenkurugen has a place in the finals later today!”

wxgirl then stretched her arms whilst they prepared for the Second Heat to begin. The customer who’d been hit and broken her ankle, was saying she’d sue Wal-Mart, only to be informed that by being in the store that day, risk of injury or loss of life was her responsibility, and thus even if she died, neither the Largest Couple Ever Guild, nor Wal-Mart, would be responsible.

After a 30 minute break, the Second Heat was ready to begin. “Alright everybody! It’s time for the Second Heat. As a reminder, those participating are CyanideCherub, Prince Richard of Waffles, Detective Karma, and e t u r e. Those in first and second place will join sage hirihono and Evenkurugen in the finals later on today. Participants to their shopping carts!”As everyone got into position, wxgirl began the countdown. “10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1… Carts gone!” They charged off, heading once again towards the produce area. “They set out for the second heat, and Prince Richard is in the back, and struggling! Up ahead, it’s eture leading, with Detective Karma in second and CyanideCherub in third!” Detective Karma is seen ramming into a few shoppers. “And Detective Karma wastes some shoppers!” Problem is that in doing so, she destroyed her shopping cart. “Hey Detective Karma, you lost your cart!” To which Detective Karma spotted an old co-worker of hers who had insisted she serve her future husband, who happened to be selecting a banana cream pie. She rushed over and took his cart, smashing the pie in his face at the same time. “Serves you right!” she thought as she ran to catch up.

Meanwhile, further back, Prince Richard was still struggling far in last place, before he suddenly collapsed, though with no one having noticed, and customers opting to trample over him to continue their shopping. Up front however, the three remaining contestants were duking it out as they made their way round the store, coming back down towards the START/FINISH line. However Cherub suddenly stopped for some unknown reason. “And Cherub stops suddenly as they return to the home stretch! This is getting really mean!” With only two racers left, Detective Karma pushes forward on e t u r e, but to no avail. “And it’s over! Winner of Heat Two! e t u r e! With Detective Karma in second place! Both will join sage hirihono and Evenkurugen in the finals in an hour!” Cherub walked over and shook their hands.

“Congrats ladies!” “Hey Cherub, how come you stopped?!” Detective Karma asked. “My wheels just stopped turning.” As the three of them grabbed drinks, they suddenly realized something. “Has anyone seen Waffles anywhere?” e t u r e asked. “I saw him behind me at the start, but I haven’t seen him since we were heading into produce.” To be honest, no one had seen him for a while. “Oh well! I’m sure he’ll turn up.” Even mentioned as he walked over. “Yeah, but still…”

“Ladies and Gentlemen, although I doubt any of the men are gentle, be sure to come back in an hour for the final! It’s gonna be a blast!” With that, wxgirl hung up the intercom phone and took a long sigh.

To Be Continued...

 

[Waffle King Richard]

After hanging up the intercom phone, wxgirl looked around. “Okay, so two down, one to go.” She made some notes in her notebook whilst thinking to herself out loud. “I wonder why Prince Richard lagged like he did. He doesn’t usually race like that.” As she thought this, the others came over. “Hey wxgirl, have you seen Prince Richard since the race got underway?” Evenkurugen asked with a neutral voice. “No, I haven’t seen him since the start of the last race. Why?” “We can’t find him here.” sage explained. Detective Karma shrugged. “He’s probably off doing some shopping, knowing him. He’s such a klutz and probably his clueless mind caused him to forget about the race and just go off, staring into space as he usually does. To be honest, I’m kind of glad he isn’t here to see this. He didn’t win, and there’s no telling what he would have done had he seen his own defeat.”

“Well, let’s get some lunch and then prep for the final.” sage just wanted to win the final, and get it over with, so that she could go back to being a normal student once more. To which everyone nodded. As they made their way over to the in-store Subway (Eat Fresh), they all soon forgot about the fact that Richard was not amongst them, and found themselves enjoying their meal greatly as a result. Everyone that is, except for one person, who deep down, seemed almost overjoyed at what had transpired.

After finishing their lunches, the four remaining racers began warming up and allowing their stomachs to rest for a little while before reporting back to the START/FINISH area. wxgirl grinned as she picked up the intercom phone once again. “Ladies and Men who would like to think of themselves as gentle and kind, but are in fact quite the opposite! It is now time for the Final Race to determine the Champion of the World! Enjoy the festivities as we once again remind you of the four participants in this race. Evenkurugen, Detective Karma, eture and sage hirihono will all compete, having each won, or come in second place in earlier trials! Racers to your positions!” With that, all four took their carts and lined up next to each other at the line. “Who will win?! Let’s all find out! 10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1… Carts gone!”

The four carts smashed together as they began running towards Produce. Evenkurugen seems highly determined, as he passes e t u r e for third. “Here’s a surprise! Look at that Even go! He passes e t u r e, and he’s keen to show sage hirihono and Detective Karma a thing or two!” At that moment, a number of things happened. At first, it seemed like the two previous races, until all four carts, one at a time, suddenly rose up and flipped onto their sides, with three racers piled on one another and eture to the side. They were all in some agony it seemed. “OH MY GOD!!! RACE CANCELED! RACE CANCELED! WHO DID THAT?! RE-RUN IN 15 MINTUES!” With that, wxgirl rushed over and helped with getting the four carts set upright and ensured no damage had come to them. “Oh thanks wxgirl! We’re all just fine, don’t worry about us! We just happened to crash and get bruised at high speed. But thanks for worrying about the shopping carts and not us.” Detective Karma muttered.

Cyanide Cherub and TAY3LOR ran over. “What happened?! You all looked like you just wiped out suddenly!” TAY3LOR asked.

sage and Even looked around. “ALRIGHT! WHERE IS SHE?!” Even demanded of TAY3LOR. “Where is who?” "[Your Worst Nightmare]! She came out of nowhere and suddenly flipped us all over by kicking the fronts of our carts!” TAY3LOR looked at him for a moment. “What are you talking about?! She was sitting with us back at the start when you crashed! She wasn’t anywhere near here.” Even looked perplexed over TAY3LOR’s information. “But I saw her too!” explained sage. “And you can’t challenge two people on what they saw if it was the same thing!” Things became somewhat more confusing a moment later when Detective Karma and e t u r e suddenly said that they had seen TAY3LOR flip their carts over. “But again! [Your Worst Nightmare] and I were back at the start!” TAY3LOR insisted. “Do you have any witnesses?” sage shot back.

“Well, for one, they both have me as a witness” wxgirl stated for the record. “They were both sitting by me at the time of the accident. “Outside Commentators do not count.” Detective Karma announced with pride. “Look. Let’s just get this re-run over and done with. I’ve got a Super Cell that may have a full-blown tornado with it, due to hit soon, and I want to chase it.”

Setting up 4 new shopping carts at the START/FINISH line, they prepared to hold the race once again, though with 4 very confused, and somewhat nervous racers. “Well, if it wasn’t either of them, who was it?” That very thought ran through each of their heads. It was about to become even more odd though. wxgirl had pulled the footage for a review, and allowed everyone to watch on the monitor the replay of what happened from the vantage points of 3 security cameras. In each, the four were seen racing their carts, until the point of the incident. What each camera showed, would be a curiosity for experts around the world. Two of the cameras flickered at that moment, but showed all four carts suddenly lifting their front ends and flipping.

It was what the third camera showed that would freak the faint of heart, and send chills down one’s spine. A see through shadow was suddenly seen moving from an aisle, out in front of them, and motioning at the four racers, before the front ends rose up and caused the accident. The shadow seemed to vanish into thin air as the carts hit the floor. “Any thoughts?” wxgirl asked with interest of the 4 racers.

No one said anything, for they were all too stunned to respond over what they had just seen. Nevertheless, they knew that they were obligated to run the race, even if they had just been freaked out.

To Be Continued...