Welcome to Gaia! ::

This is something that I've been having a lot of thought about and I was curious as to whether anyone else had been in this position. Right now I'm at a point where I don't think I can reasonably spare the time or effort for any more relationships. I'm sure the answer to this is highly individualized, so I'm not asking anyone to give a generalized estimate. I'm just asking what you think would work for yourself.

Here's a rundown on my relationship dynamic first. We're both open an poly. I have friends with benefits or casual encounters, but I also have committed relationships. I'm married, with our three year anniversary coming up. I have two boyfriends who are also in a relationship with each other. They both started as friends with benefits about two and a half years ago and progressed to relationships about two years and one and a half years ago, respectively. They started a relationship with each other about a year ago. Then, lastly, I have a new boyfriend with which I just finalized a relationship today after some debate as to whether we'd take that step after being friends with benefits for over 2 years.

I've decided that, at this point, I don't really have the time or energy for anyone else. I still have a few friends with benefits who are extremely important to me, but with who a "relationship" just isn't in the dynamic. (Like my best friend of over 10 years, who means as much to me as my spouse.) I find myself forming connections with people often, so it was a difficult decision, but I have to recognize my limit for the well being of my existing relationships and just for my own well being as someone with a tendency to spread myself too thin in all things.

My question to you guys; What do you think your limit is?

At the moment, I definitely don't think I have the time for more than these two relationships. The three of us are so busy all the time!

For myself, I think it's less about numbers and more about feelings- if I fall in love, and they love me, I'll balance my life so we can be together.

I very rarely go out looking for partners. I'd willingly accept up to five-eight romantic partners at a given time, though (assuming it happened all magically and wonderfully like it did with my wife.) However many we can fit in the house and still have deep, healthy relationships with. I've had four, at the most, at one point. They were all a bit... um.. unhealthy and abusive, though. Better luck with the next few, I should hope.