Polyfidelity

[Esiris]

Polyfidelity- a type of polyamory where all the members of the group limit their sexual contact to the other members.

Your thoughts?  

[M00nbat]

Well, P and I were wanting polyfidelity originally, before the seesawing back and forth on polyamory in general sweatdrop

I'm actually in favor of a poly-fi model as a general rule.  

[Pom Graines]

I thought polyfi also entailed the group being "closed" to new members, just as monoamorous couples are "closed" to new members? Otherwise wouldn't most poly relationships be polyfi? Since not all poly relationships are also sexually open or swinger type relationship. And there are some polys who are very against swingers and open relationship folk I think they'd be annoyed that if they don't describe themselves as polyfi that they'd be lumped in with those they dislike.  

[M00nbat]

Well, that's up for debate, Mame. Just like many things in poly relationships. What one does is not necessarily what the other does. P wanted a triad originally, but after I pointed out that she was hunting unicorns with her laundry list she was putting together, she agreed that a poly-fi arrangement may be a better goal. We had a semi closed square for a while. I say "semi" closed because according to our agreement, the other couple (who were both bi) were not allowed to date opposite gender (P's rule). They never did though, but they appreciated having the option available to them. As neither I nor P (at the time) could meet their other needs.  

[Esiris]

Mameoyashi

I thought polyfi also entailed the group being "closed" to new members, just as monoamorous couples are "closed" to new members? Otherwise wouldn't most poly relationships be polyfi? Since not all poly relationships are also sexually open or swinger type relationship. And there are some polys who are very against swingers and open relationship folk I think they'd be annoyed that if they don't describe themselves as polyfi that they'd be lumped in with those they dislike.

Saew is right- it's worth discussing, and there are different kinds of being "closed", like being able to add people by unanimous vote.  

[Pom Graines]

Esiris

Saew is right- it's worth discussing, and there are different kinds of being "closed", like being able to add people by unanimous vote.

Oh I agree it's worth discussing. And defining terms and how you use them is extremely important for the very reason that definitions aren't always set in stone, especially for the language of relationships.

I'm just explaining how I've always heard the term and my understanding of it. But then I used to hang around a very polarized poly-group as well with some people who absolutely abhorred swinging/open relationships and would be mortified if other people thought that polyamory=swinging/sexually open unless otherwise stated (as polyfi).

Plus I've personally been careful to differentiate between swinging and poly myself and find that to me at least they are very different animals. My relationship with Graverg started as only sexually open and it wasn't until years in that we added the romantic 'poly' side of things- so I personally have experienced them as separate entities and that's how I like to keep them.

And you're also right about there being different kinds of being "closed". Closed in the strictest sense that no one else is allowed in no matter what, closed in the sense that there need be unanimous decision to add another, closed in the sense that no one in the group is actively looking for new additions... There are at least a few options out there as well.  

[White Trash Zombie]

And here I've been referring to me, Kitty and James as a closed triad or trouple. We has a new word heart

We are about as closed as closed can get. James and I are too territorial for much else sweatdrop  

[Pom Graines]

Diabolical Eevee

And here I've been referring to me, Kitty and James as a closed triad or trouple. We has a new word heart

We are about as closed as closed can get. James and I are too territorial for much else sweatdrop

Trouple XD I love that.  

[Esiris]

I think I am best suited to a polyfi relationship where new additions come in by vote.