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 Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 11:22 am
Hey, I write lyrics for my band. I'm the singer. I don't have a demo I feel comfortable sending out just yet, but when I do, I'll post it here.
I just wanted to show you guys some of my lyrics though.
http://fangthetyphoon.deviantart.com/#/d36wzpt
Language warning.
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Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 11:53 am
I don't have a Deviant account, can't be asked to make one, so sorry, I can't look at it.
I play the drums in my band.
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Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 1:19 pm
Touche (I don't know how to make the squigglies over the letters)
Sick of the smile
That ******** disguise
Told the world what was wrong
Watched it burn in my eyes
Now I'm chained on this stage
Wish the rage would subside
The perfect performance sealed me in my mind
-Chorus-
Hate acting the part
But it all flows so well
So good at my lines
I react to the bell
Dance like the puppet
I swear that I'm not.
But the ropes that now hold me
Will be here 'til I rot
Scratch at the locks
That hold my face in the mask
Real name off the bill
Just how long will this last
Every performance
Grates more on my nerves
Every second
More rage is reserved
He claps and he glares
And my mind fills with dread
He stares in my eyes
Just like he's in my head
The curtain is dropping
And I'm taking the call
The cast all lines up
As the protagonist falls
-Chorus-
-Breakdown-
The playwright is watching
And clapping his hands
He's laughing and pointing
Only he understands
His sick little games
He and I know we play
Gets easier and easier
To perform it each day
-Chorus-
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Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 8:03 pm
I won't even begin to pretend that I understand the lyric writing process.
That being said, I left like the second half (from "He claps and he glares" down, excluding the chorus) was more poetic; I understand that there's a fine line between lyrics and poetry, but I felt a disconnect between the beginning and the end. I liked the first half better. The second half seemed much more rhythmic. (Ok, granted, the breakdown is written in alternating rhymes.)
Maybe I would need to hear it? What sort of music is it sung to? Instruments used, genre it most closely resembles?
I can see this being either very loud, fast, and harsh... or being a restrained, simmering anger (like I Don't Care by Apocalyptica; an angry song, but beautiful music).
I apologize if this response sounded unintelligent and/or unhelpful.
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Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 8:35 pm
No, it was good. smile
I play the metals.
I will have a demo soon, and be able to send it to you guys, or upload it.
It's hard to describe how I sing it...
I'm really tempted to upload it to show you, but it's unmixed and I sound like a**. Flat vox. No reverb, varying volumes... eh. Maybe.
The whole song is about my step-father. He was very very emotionally abusive when I was a child, and it's given me anger problems and clinical depression.
The literal meaning is that there is someone trapped on stage, forced to perform the same act over and over again, where the protagonist has a sort of shakespearian flaw, and fails or dies at the end of every performance.
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