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 Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 1:40 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 2:33 pm
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Hun, everyone strikes out. Unfortunately, some do it more than once. Guys (a good half of the race, I'm sure) are jerks. I'm happy you learned your lesson, there's no reason to go through something like that again. I'm sorry you had to get hurt like that, twice, even. I can't even begin to fathem how low this guy must be. You dated him once, he cheated. You gave him another chance (more than most girls would've given him, I'm sure), and he still did you wrong. There's not much you can do about scum like him. Move on, that's about all you can do. You've got friends, hun. People who truly care about you. My advice? Don't deal with this guy ever again. Cut him off cold turkey. No third shot. No contact at all, even. He doesn't deserve to be in your presence, doll. wink I'm sure you'll find someone out there who truly cares for you. And when that guy sees how happy you are, he's gonna be sorry he ever hurt you. ^_^
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Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 5:00 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 5:55 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 6:09 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 7:14 pm
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Sweetie, if you bothered staying with him long enough to have kids with him and THEN found out he was cheating out on you, I'd say you learned a valuable lesson, eh? Some men are really perfect for you, some are great but just don't work out, and some are scum. Not "more than half" are scum, sweetie. A bunch of them are really great guys and we girls end up cutting it off on simply because WE found someone else. I can't tell you how many guys I've left brokenhearted, and I didn't meant to, I just knew I wasn't right for them.
Of course, I wasn't stupid enough to cheat on them while I still loved them.
So, you found a jerk. And then you broke it off. And then you gave him a second chance. And then he screwed up. And then you broke it off again. AFTER have newborns with him. I'm not yelling at you, sweetheart. I just want to know why you gave him a second chance. Maybe he acted sorry before, but if he cheated on you the first time, I wouldn't bother giving him a second.
And I doubt that he'll forget his KIDS. Nobody forgets his kids. And no matter how much you hate him right now (because I've hated my share of men over heartbreaks), he does have morals, I'm sure. If he forgets his kids, then it's his problem. His mistake. His messup. Your messup was giving him a second chance.
My messup was commenting, because I suspect that I'll just get a you-don't-understand reply. And though I am PMS-y and my friends think I'm a total b***h, I just hate getting comments like that. Even if I am no Dear Abby, I'd like to be respected.
Forget about him. He has a new girl? Don't hate on her. Don't warn her. Just let her figure out for herself what a real jerk he is...but hopefully before she has kids with him. When he comes by (IF he comes by) to see his kids, then you'd better make sure that he's a good influence and he doesn't come in with a floozy every other weekend and every Wednesday night. Don't let him be a bad influence, but don't block him out of your kids' life.
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Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 8:48 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 5:39 am
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Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 6:16 am
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Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 9:49 am
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I do think it was good to let the other girl know what was going on. She needed to know what a jerk he was.
Now listen to what I'm about to say, because these two problems are the worst: Nowadays, it's considered okay to date and have sex at a young age, without being married. This is not a good idea.
Firstly, I consider sex out of wedlock a bad thing. Marriage means you love and trust someone totally, that you want to spend the rest of your life with him, that you know him inside and out. It's a stupid idea to have sex outside of marriage, because you could easily get into a situation like this.
And you're only fifteen. You are still a child. Dating should wait, I think, until you are out of school. Why are you in such a rush to enter a serious relationship?
I'm sorry, but I can't offer any words of comfort, because you were, frankly, an idiot. I do respect your desire to keep the children, but can you handle them? Can you raise them up right? Are your parents going to help? I'm not so much offering advice as I am chewing you out, to make sure this doesn't happen again.
What are you going to do? What are your plans for the future in general?
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Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 10:29 am
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Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2010 12:10 am
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Wow, what a jerk. Just know that you came out of this the bigger person, and he came out as the lying scum. Situations like these are truly tragic, so I hope you can find the resolve to bounce back and move on. Maybe this sounds callous, but whats done is over, so don't bother thinking about it and focus on what you need to do and what makes you happy.
Also, in a situation where your family has a history of having kids at young ages, it' hard not to fall into that pattern. But on the up-side, you can get good advice from your family.
It is my philosophy that if a girl has has terrible luck with guys but has the motivation to get up when they fall, their luck will turn around too and they'll be the ones with the best guy of all! Just a typical Zenally-ism for you. Your still young, so don't forget that you DO have options.
I find it extremely admirable of you to keep your children. I'm convinced that if your strong enough to do that, you can do anything! Also, I'd love to hear more about them! 4laugh
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