I'm sorry. when my ex got out that's exactly how people treated her too. or when my parents discovered the my i wasn't allowed to be alone or in the dark.they may treat you like that fo a little while, but after about a month...things should somewhat go back to normal
XxXx ABBI XxXx
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Duke of URL
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Posted: Sat Dec 25, 2010 3:16 pm
I spent 10 days in a rubber room - full lockdown. I used to hit my head into walls when I got angry. One time I caused a gash that needed 11 stitches.
I spent the time in their 'pajama uniform' looking at the other inmates who had cut themselves and set their hair on fire. I felt I didn't belong there, but after group therapy I began to feel that I did.
When I got home, nobody in my family asked me how I was - I wish they had. Instead I felt they were telling me that they'd do it again in a minute if I didn't behave. And anyone outside my immediate family were told lies to explain my absence, so I felt I couldn't even tell my friends what I had been through. I was our family's 'shameful secret.'
So I learned to 'behave.' And bury my emotions. As an 'emotional robot' I also learned to keep others at a distance. I'm only now learning that my experience was far from unique. I am trying to remove my 'heart condom' and learn to love others, and myself.
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