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Express Yourself! Post Dreams, Stories or Anything you want 

Tags: Read and Write, Dreams, Expressing, Creative Stories, Journal 

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Did you like the begining of my story? Did you?
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  I need to read more of the story
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Zero Super Flying Star

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 2:58 pm


"Zero was born with his hair gray. His mother was a housewife while his father was to work chopping wood, but in a very unique way... With his scythe he had from his 13 years, the "Winged Star." When he was little his parents loved him very much and always encouraged him to run and be the fastest of his few friends, in particular faster than White who was the fastest in the village. He didn't even know White but White became his childhood friend and White's hair was completely white. The color of Zero's hair was in its early years a reason of prejudice on school grounds by his colleagues, and he thought he was unique in the world until he came to learn that another boy had white hair. That boy was White(which explains White's name), a boy of his age. With time they came to understand each other, thus becoming best friends. One of the many times Zero was playing, Zero made a cut on the face which left him with a scar on his left cheek."


Did you like it? Did you? Obviously it's only the start, but i want to see if i can get somewhere with this story. whee
PostPosted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 1:28 pm


great story a little redundant but i cant wait to hear the rest mrgreen

CottonPopKroo
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Zero Super Flying Star

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 1:37 pm


Thank you! crying Oh!! Ok, ok! I need to continue it. 4laugh
PostPosted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 2:28 pm


It has potentional to be interesting, but it seems more like a summary unless that's what you intended. The story in the paragraph progressed a bit too fast. Maybe try adding a bit of detail and toning down how the story paces?

Raizion


Arnyia
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 3:11 pm


Raizion
It has potentional to be interesting, but it seems more like a summary unless that's what you intended. The story in the paragraph progressed a bit too fast. Maybe try adding a bit of detail and toning down how the story paces?


I agree. but it is a great start....
PostPosted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:21 am


I think it's going to be great, but I don't get the plot.
If it's very plain then excuse me I am a little retarded xp

Little Kurayami
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