Okay, lately out of nowhere I developed this weird skin condition where, if can reach it(except for my face) , it freaking itches!!!! All. The. Time. People are getting freaked out because my neck and collarbone are always red. My back looks like my cat and a horde of mosquitoes got at it after a bad sunburn.
ANYWAY, Mom says to me "You're too dry, use body lotion" Apparently a dermatologist is too good for me.
So I dig around and find this body lotion. Brazil Breeze or something. I lather it everywhere and then notice something odd. I'm sparkling. Like the skin of the abominations a certain writer tried to pass off as vampires...Or like I fell into the herpes of craft supplies (sparkles).
And I still itch.
And I can't excatly rub lotion on my scalp, sparkly or not.
And I still itch.
And I've always said that if my vampire sparkled I'd stake him. Good thing I'm not a vampire. So I don't have to stake myself but I have to beat off Twi-tards.
Did I mention that I....STILL FREAKIN' ITCH
ARRG! *Chews off ankle*
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