Very Sad Today

[SaraDiva728]

I lost my grandmother yesterday. She had had Alzhemer's (forigive if mispelled) for a very long time, and I had cared for her through most of it. About seven years actually, but she had been bed-bound about five of them. I was with her when she passed. I was the only one at home. I know I'm sad, but I'm not really sure how I'm taking it. I feel okay one moment, extremely depressed the next and back again. Sometimes, all before I can finish a thought. I even cringe when I pass by her now empty room. I try to think about her only as she was before she went down. She was a fighter, and an awesome person. She used to care for us--my siblings and I--while our mom worked. She always had honeybuns or candy and made us jelly cakes and pecan pies until our teeth hurt. And all the while she'd complain about keeping us. She used to say that 'if it wasn't fer me, them'd be thowed away chiren!" She walked most everywhere she went and was very independent. She got all four of her children through college by herself and bought each one a bedroom set--beds and all--when each one left home. She never went to college herself and she worked in a factory. I'm hurt that she is gone. We saw it coming, but not so soon. I just needed to talk about it, but I didn't want to with someone who'd start me off to crying with them.  

[Tebasile]

...birds creep over tin roofs, like criminals with tap shoes...
I Hear Thunder

I am terribly sorry for your loss.
And to lose someone that close to you, that must be indescribable.

She sounds like she could make a rock get out of her way, and trees bend to her will, with a heart of pure gold.
Cherish your memories, and honor her words.

But Theres No Rain
...stain the glass with windows, extortionate and cold stare...

 

[SaraDiva728]

Thank you so much for your encouraging words! And yes, she was exactly as you said. She was short, but no one stood in her way and she was a green thumb (I mean a real one, nothing died in her presence) so trees and plants obeyed her every whim. Yet she'd give the you the clothes on her back and a place to sleep if you needed it. We burried her Monday, and the last of the family left for home today. I am feeling much better now. I had spent much time with her and did everything that I could for her when she was alive and ill and I am determined not to let her absence weigh too heavily on me. She deserves better than that anyway.  

[ParkerLeBou-Howlett]

Ive been there to. You may not get the affects now but once the wake part of the burial kicks in youll probably get the full affects. I was like that when my best friend died two years ago. Im not sure why but it just seems to be that final moment. The mourning process is long and very inconvenient especially for me. It took almost a year to get myself back to normal after he died. Just hang in there and remember the good times. Make the best of what is in your life now. In life there aretimes when things we want go bye. You need to take the moment and get what you want because it might not be there tomorrow.  

[ancantsia]

I am sorry to hear about your loss, I know its hard to bury a family member that you loved so very much. Just remember the good times that you had with her and try not to let the sad times overwhelm you. If she were still here she wouldn't want you to be sad hun! =3

Reality is for people with no imagination

 

[Sculptor]

I am very sorry that you had such a great loss in your life. My mom died of early onset dementia. I lost her about six months ago. If you need someone to talk to some times, I am here.