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 Posted: Sat Dec 26, 2009 7:01 pm
It seems like most poly people are already in a reltonship and looking to add a third. But how do you start out? I mean its hard enough to find one person it seems. Well at least someone who wants more then just sex. I don't know where to start?
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Posted: Sat Dec 26, 2009 7:13 pm
Well there is the traditional method of just meeting someone randomly, having that spark, starting a conversation, hitting it off, hang out and see where things go from there... there is the option of dating services (online and otherwise) OKCupid seems to work for many polys and comes recommended, even just as a social networking tool if not a dating one. SOme people go on poly themed websites, find meet ups in their area, meet people online (via Gaia, twitter, myspace, facebook, ect), others have luck in swingers clubs, where as others just so happen to have a friend (or friends) that they have crushes on (and who have the same) and just broach the subject with them one day. Others just let fate take control and let things happen, not worry about finding someone else but keep an eye open for stumbling across someone.
Though one thing I've noticed and would be good to keep in mind is that balanced triads can be hard to start sometimes, as you'd have to find a third who was interested in both partners and both partners woud be interested in the third. Personally, if that happens with anyone I or Graverg meet- great- if it doesn't that's okay too as we're okay just have Vs, Ws and the like as well as closed triads/quads ect. We keep our options open to the sort of configuration that will come naturally for us in the future (though, again, my ideal would probably be a quad <.<), and sort of let things flow as they will and not try to force anything into place.
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Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 4:00 pm
I have signed up for some dating sites. I am not looking to join a triad at this time.
It seems lately that its hard to meet people the conventional way. I have met my last two bf from myspace. They lived in my area though.
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Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 11:28 pm
This thread actually applies to my own relationship as well, as you already know, Mame smile Definitely discuss all of the options with your partner and see what works best for both of you. I certainly know how difficult it can be to find someone new that sparks with both you AND your current partner. Once mine was clarified on how Vs and Ws worked, she was much more receptive to them. We still aren't actively searching to form a triad, quad, V, W, etc, however, we have discovered what we are open to and are going to be prepared when the time comes.
Hope that helps at least some!
Leif.
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Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 11:36 pm
There are so many terms I don't know
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Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 6:22 pm
Lostkeyintr0 There are so many terms I don't know Such as? If you're not sure on a term you can always ask what it means smile
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Posted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 4:32 am
Mameoyashi Lostkeyintr0 There are so many terms I don't know Such as? If you're not sure on a term you can always ask what it means smile Actually i found a glossary of the terms. So that helped alot.
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Posted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 9:08 am
Lostkeyintr0 Actually i found a glossary of the terms. So that helped alot. Haha, that works too biggrin
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 10:45 pm
I signed up for okcupid. And it seems like a lot of the poly people on their are bisexual chicks looking for a girlfriend.
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Posted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 9:38 am
Lostkeyintr0 I signed up for okcupid. And it seems like a lot of the poly people on their are bisexual chicks looking for a girlfriend. Are you thinking this is a good or bad thing, though?
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