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 Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 11:56 am
Assalamu Alaykum.
Well, a long time ago, I wasn't really a Muslim dedicated to god, I wasn't praying all the time neither reading Q'uran. Thankfully these times ended and now I'm studying more and considering Hijab when I am a little bit older.
My parents were very considerate when applying me for school, they chose a very good school as well as a famous one to guarantee me a good future. But when I met my colleges in Secondary, I was to only find out that the greatest sins happened. I held onto myself and never did them, neither thought about them and moved on with my life. But theres always this thing where the new girl is here and all of the girls trick her into doing things, lowering her self esteem, just because she has no idea about these peoples cultures or lives or personalities. And the boys spend more time with the new girl than the others, and act friendly.
Well, the problem there is, not to show off, a few boys have asked my to become their girlfriend. And I have had trouble, as I struggled with replying. Of course, a no was in that sentence.
But now I'm even older, I am struggling with fitting in with the society as 'cool' and 'sexy' rules in there. I need help as it is also affects my grades.
And to make it worse, these people are Muslims.
And another case, which is not as bad, is is Haram that a woman salutes a man? They say that the man must salute the woman, not vise versa.
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Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 12:06 pm
Hrrm....what society are you trying to fit in exactly? Everyday society or the one at your University? When i was younger I cared about fitting in with the cooler crowd, but as I knew them all they cared about were superficial and wordly, their souls seemed hollow..That is NOT the group I wanted to be part of.
I'm curious since you say your parents picked a good school - But its known that some schools are "party" schools and not really focused on academics. They may not have realized this ><
Also, to your answer about the males...Just tell them you're not interested to date at this time. You have a right to say no, if they get mad..Oh well :/
Which country do you go to school in?
Also, i think its okay to say assalamu alaykum to a man.
We are supposed to give and return salaams to any brothers or sisters we meet paths with.
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Call Me Apple Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 12:19 pm
Thank you, Call Me Apple.
The society is like as you said an everyday society at school/university. Where as I said 'cool' rules. Well, the school is a good school, focused on teaching, but the students themselves are not really focused on their religion and think they can just 'live without Allah'.
And I come from Egypt, live in Egypt. I go to school in Egypt.
And thank you for the saluting answer, I was very confused as a teacher has taught me that and I avoided saluting men for a while. I was confused.
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Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 12:38 pm
Susan Salisbury Thank you, Call Me Apple. The society is like as you said an everyday society at school/university. Where as I said 'cool' rules. Well, the school is a good school, focused on teaching, but the students themselves are not really focused on their religion and think they can just 'live without Allah'. And I come from Egypt, live in Egypt. I go to school in Egypt. And thank you for the saluting answer, I was very confused as a teacher has taught me that and I avoided saluting men for a while. I was confused. WOW. This has surprised me, I thought you would have been going to an American school....There are some guild members who live in Arab countries, i think you would benefit best from their replies to help you on this situation. Allah (swt) knows best, I'm glad you're addressing this situation sister smile
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Call Me Apple Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 6:41 am
Girlfriends? =/
This culture is not the type you want. If you want to get married, let your parents know. Otherwise, meeting a boy who is non-muharram alone (no matter if it is a cinema, whatever)-- then you'll have the devil tagging along.
InshahAllah, you don't want that.
Just say no, you fear Allah (swt). Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said that whoever spent their youth praying to Allah (swt), then they will be the ones to go to Paradise. This life is not worth it. This place where we will only be here for half a day. Why jeopordise your chance for paradise? Allah (swt) knows how we are made- He is the one who made us, so that is why these methods are prescribed to keep boys and girls away from each other.
No matter how handsome the guy is, he will never match Prophet Yusuf (pbuh). ;D
Wouldn't you prefer a pious partner who will lead you to paradise? That makes more sense. If you find it hard, then fast, lower your gaze. It is a test, InshahAllah you will get through it.
If you are really struggling, talk to your parents, they will hopefully understand and find you a suitable marriage partner. It is better your parents know, not to be worried-- but so that they can prepare for your marriage.
Allah (swt) knows best.
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