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 Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 6:44 pm
So, my BF and I have decided to start engaging in poly. We talked it over, hashed it out, and even set up specific rules on how to go about it. (for example, anyone who i want to be with also has to talk to him about it.) I've been on a few dates, but have done nothing serious thus far. He, so far seems perfectly content to himself stay monogamous.
Recently I started having nightmares. In the nightmares, he and I are together and then some how or another (depending on the dream) I find out that he has been secretly cheating on me. (which blatantly breaks all of the rules that he and I set down.) What is my psyche trying to say? What am I so afraid of? Is this some sort of weird guilt reaction? I know, on a logical level that I have no reason to be guilty and that he would never do that. So why do I keep having these nightmares about him sneaking behind my back? These dreams are persistant. I could be having a completely not related dream and then suddenly the dream will turn into a nightmare like that and I'll wake up shivering and freaking out. I don't understand. If anyone has any ideas or help to offer, that would be greatly appreciated.
Yours truly
Shishikogan
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Posted: Fri Mar 05, 2010 1:40 pm
To tell you the truth, this happens to alot of people. I have also had very persistant nightmares when I start a realtionship, or at least starting to make one poly. There are some things that we fear because they have happened or we know could happen. This might just be one of those things that you have to get through. Have you ever tried talking to your bf about them? Sometimes they go away after you have sorted through them. I think that you should talk to him and tell him what's going on. Maybe he has the same nightmares. He might be going through the same thing as you, and if thats the truth, then they would probably go away after you guys talked. Give it a try. Best of luck!
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