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It sounds awful to say, but if she's never actually met the guy, how on earth is she supposed to know she likes her BF? I'm not talking about just looks, either, though that can be important. I've made online friends any number of times, and we get on famously, and everything goes well until we actually set up a time and place to get together, IRL, and hang out. Then we discover that we don't really enjoy each other's company all that much - for example, people are a lot funnier online than in person because they can take the time to find the right words, whereas in person they just stammer a half-joke. Same for sensitivity and caring. A timorous pat on the back followed by switching the conversation right back to MEMEMEMEME is nowhere near as warm as the same person typing squishy words of love and comfort. (How do you know that caring pause during online chat isn't just the guy getting up and grabbing a snack before coming back to talk about something else?) Anyway, we leave swearing we'll stay in touch, but that memory keeps coming back and over time...we just sort of stop talking to each other.

So I suppose my advice would be: she needs to be with someone she has a real-world, definite connection with. That would be this new guy. If Mr. Online has a problem with that, he can arrange a visit and do some proper wooing. Otherwise, his secret identity (a middle-aged sweaty balding a**-clown?) is totally blown.