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 Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 6:19 pm
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As many of you know I'm currently living with my grandmother (if not, that is where I'm living). I have three siblings. Whom I'm going to name after pokemon for teh lulz. There's my sister Vaporeon, my younger brother Flareon, and my youngest brother Eevee
My problem deals with Flareon and my father.
Flareon is the type that has to get his way or all hell will break loose. He treats everyone like dirt when he doesn't get his way. He purposely tries to upset me if I don't do what he wants. Generally he's a selfish brat.
Now at times I'll enjoy playing video games with him or playing Yu-gi-oh or some s**t. I don't completely treat him badly and even make a effort to have a normal conversation with him on things.
Now every other Friday or something I'm going to be DMing and DnD session between me and my friends. Naturally the minute Flareon hears he wants to play. Normally this wouldn't be a problem but my friends do not like Flareon. On top of that I want to involve the Book of Erotic Fantasy into the game. Being 14 he isn't allowed to get involved and I don't trust him to keep his mouth shut because he probably won't.
But, I can't just tell him he's not allowed to play. I don't want him to play mainly because of the Book of Erotic Fantasy issue and because of my friends. But if I try to explain to my father that I don't want him to play because of my friends (because I'd rather not bring up that we are going to be using the Book of Erotic Fantasy in our DnD session that'll only result in a lecture.) he tells me "My brother will always be my brother, my friends will change over the years." And other things similar, essentially trying to make me feel guilty.
Now that wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't for the fact that my dad expects me to involve Flareon in EVERYTHING he wants to be involved in when it comes to my life.
How do I explain that to my father without getting a 45 minute lecture, jam packed with guilt trips which will result in me sobbing uncontrollably? Seriously this is getting to be a issue since it's becoming to the point where I'm almost not allowed to have 'friend time' without my brother if my brother wants to be involved. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 7:16 pm
Is it completely out of the realm of possibility to go to a friend's house instead? By removing the home conditions from the equation, I see no problems...
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 7:19 pm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ No, I wish it was but one also lives with their grandmother (and probably wouldn't like having 4-5 teenagers in her house), another doesn't have the space, one has two brothers who are even more hellraisers than my own brother, and another has a bunch of sisters and not any space.
My house is the only place where we have space and won't be bothered...too much at least. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 7:23 pm
Have you asked? You never know, they could have a very accommodating grandparent.
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 7:27 pm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I could see what I can do. But it's likely that my brother will try and follow me anyway.
And this is a continuing issue and has been going on so it needs to be addressed with my father anyway because it's starting to get out of hand.
I understand him wanting me to spend time with my brother (which I do. If I'm not busy I'm usually playing Halo 3 with him when he's over.), but this is getting to the point where if my brother wants to get involved, I HAVE to involve him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 7:41 pm
You could try attacking his masculinity and using psychology. What kind of brother wants to know everything his sister does? Force him into independence. Or get your dad to play with him. Or perhaps the other siblings?
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 7:43 pm
You could always try explaining that since you are so much older than your brother that you need some time with just people your age and that with him around you will automatically not be yourself. As much as you love him, you need time with just you and your friends because he WILL be around forever and your friends might not be so you need to spend as much time with just them.... God I hope that made sense
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 7:46 pm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well I attempted to make a offer with my brother, he leaves my Friday sessions alone and he can invite a friend or two over and we'll have different sessions on Saturday or something but he got angry and started insulting my friends and I so I guess he doesn't get to play at all. 8D
I still need to talk to dad and I'll do that. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Jafthasleftthebuilding Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 7:46 pm
You just a sister, not a babysitter. Ask for financial compensation. 8D
5 dollah, me care you long time.
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 7:47 pm
Sanzoskitsune You could always try explaining that since you are so much older than your brother that you need some time with just people your age and that with him around you will automatically not be yourself. As much as you love him, you need time with just you and your friends because he WILL be around forever and your friends might not be so you need to spend as much time with just them.... God I hope that made sense ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It did Sanzo, thank you for your advice. :3 I am going to bring that up to my father when we have a talk. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 7:48 pm
Jaft You just a sister, not a babysitter. Ask for financial compensation. 8D 5 dollah, me care you long time. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ XD Thank you Jaft, I think I may just do that. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 8:44 pm
if you ask me... you should just lock him in his room....
or pokeball... whichever is nearest.... xp
but seriously... i know it sucks now... but feel better knowing that eventually he will get much cooler to hang out with...
me and my sis would fight over everything and she was the biggest nark i had ever met... but now we cover each others backs and i can actually talk to her about stuff i dont want anyone else knowing....
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Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 12:00 am
I think that Sanzo's advice is pretty sound. If he tries to pull the line about your brother always being your brother but your friends changing again, point out that by that logic you should have no friends at all because there is no point. Or maybe a better approach would be to say that all that matters is that they are here for you now and that your life is better for having them in it. That might be a bit less argumentative than my first suggestion.
You might also want to try flipping Sanzo's idea around the other way. If you don't mind my asking, but if your brother got so angry when you brought it up with him, does he socialise much with people his own age? You could try expressing a concern to your father that your brother is not spending enough time with people his own age, that he needs to try and make his own friends instead of trying to attach himself to yours who are so much older than him and are not true friends to him.
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Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 2:54 am
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @Terra- Oh he does. In fact when I asked he was with a friend of his from school. He just enjoys Dungeons and Dragons.
He found out why I didn't want him in the original campaign (the Book of Erotic Fantasy) and he lashed out saying we were gross and disgusting and pathetic for always 'looking at porn'. (I rarely do that x.x I just want more depth to the game.) But he's only 14 so I guess I should remember that and as such not quite at the age where he'd understand that so much. I'll bring up the offer again later and see if he'll accept. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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