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| Should I get back with him or try to move on? |
| Back with him. |
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| Move on. Distance isn't worth it. |
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[ 7 ] |
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| Total Votes : 14 |
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 Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 12:56 pm
So here's the deal. I went out with a guy for almost 8 months. However, here's the catch. He lives on another continent across an ocean. All my friends, and even me and him, really believed we would be together forever. But now, I'm not so sure. The distance got to me so badly. I haven't seen him in ages. I found a breaking point and broke up with him this past Sunday. Didn't sleep for like 2-3 days at all then only an hour or so a night. He probably will take me back if I want to, it's me that's being stubborn. I really like the guy, but is the distance too much? When I broke up with him, I really believed it would be better for both of us. Am I just having a tough time accepting that??
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Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 1:01 pm
I am an old ATG member =]I havent seen my girlfriend for 18 months.
We've been together for a total of 3 years and we are engaged.
If you love him then deal with the distance and find a solution.
If distance is enough to stop it then the relationship is not for you.Click here to PM Me regarding ATG.
Captain Shram has Answered your thread
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Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 1:07 pm
First off, welcome to the guild.
Now, to the matter at hand. I personally am not a fan of long-distance relationships. Tried it once, and me and her drifted, and now we don't even talk to each other. If you want to get technical, me and her are still supposedly "Together" because I can't get her to contact me to break up. Anyway, if it was working for you, then go for it. It works for some people, and for others it doesn't.
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Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 1:18 pm
I'm always one to love eye-openers, so to speak. Yours is this: Harsh as it may seem, you chose this relationship. When you made that decision to dedicate your heart to this person, you also made a decision to accept the sacrifices of not being able to spend much time with him. I'm sorry to say that this is just a fact you have to live with, am I'm sure you've figured out by now. Of course, I wouldn't want to insult your intelligence at all. 3nodding
I'm not a fan of long-distance relationships either. I believe in order for it to be healthy, the two parties must have regular face-to-face *snicker* contact. If you don't have that, you have to supplement it with other things, such as talking on the phone a lot or getting on webcam together. Fights like the one you described tend to strengthen a relationship if you can get through them. Contrary to popular beliefs, a fight or two does not ruin a relationship, be it long distance or short. So if you come out of all this with your relationship still in tact, you're all the stronger because of it.
In short, I don't envy you. I think you are brave for attempting this sort of thing, but know that it takes an extreme amount of patience, maturity, and dedication on both parts for it to work. I wish you all the best luck in your endeavor.
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Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 1:20 pm
Long distance can work if you want it to. I think it builds trust.
I have it nice though, my boyfriend lives right around the corner from me. sweatdrop
I agree with Rol, if it works and it was working, go for it. Try not to dwell on the distance factor. Patience is the key.
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Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 7:21 pm
If you can see him, get back with him...its your happiness and his what counts dosent it...
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Posted: Wed May 06, 2009 2:19 pm
Hey jude
, dont make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.
Hey jude, dont be afraid.
You were made to go out and get her.
The minute you let her under your skin,
Then you begin to make it better.
And anytime you feel the pain, hey jude, refrain,
Dont carry the world upon your shoulders.
For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.
Hey jude, dont let me down.
You have found her, now go and get her.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.
So let it out and let it in, hey jude, begin,
Youre waiting for someone to perform with.
And dont you know that its just you, hey jude, youll do,
The movement you need is on your shoulder.
Hey jude, dont make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her under your skin,
Then youll begin to make it
Better better better better better better, oh.
Oh, Yea. What the song says. Just go for it.
La la la lalala la la lala la la
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Posted: Wed May 06, 2009 3:40 pm
In my experience, if you're asking "should I do this" instead of "how can I make this work" then you probably shouldn't do it. It is totally unfair to all parties involved if you are waffling and are not totally committed to such a ridiculously difficult to maintain thing as a long distance relationship. In-person relationships take effort. Long distance ones even more so. If you are unsure about whether to pursue the relationship, you're probably not willing to put in the amount of effort required to make it work, and that is totally unfair to the other person and to yourself. You have to poop or get off the pot so to speak. Either you're in it for the long haul and you'll put in all kinds of effort to make it work, or you need to just let go so that each of you can move on and find happiness elsewhere.
DP: You sound like you're talking about a marriage, not a casual long distance dating relationship.
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Posted: Fri May 08, 2009 4:54 pm
Just so I can give you guys an update, I got back with him last night. I realized I was trying to avoid something I just can't. I love him and he makes my life complete and now I'm really happy. Thanks for all the advice, guys, i love you!!
EDIT: Loved the Hey Jude song. It's actually my favorite Beatles song. Seeing the lyrics out really made me think. =)
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Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 2:14 am
I am an old ATG member =]Good luck and we are here (The entire ATG woohoo) should you need more advice.Click here to PM Me regarding ATG.
Captain Shram has answered your thread
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Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 2:11 pm
You know it's super funny. When GTR first clicked on this I said "I bet it's about boy problems". I'm awesome like that. On the subject, do whatever you want. You already broke up with him because of something like distance, so I'm guessing you really can't handle the distance.
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