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This was the moment

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My BlAcK sTaR sHiNe
Captain

PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 12:20 pm
This was the moment. My revenge. Nothing else mattered more to me then slaughtering every living soul in sight. I dissolved into a shade like all vampires could do and glided to the mall first, my body going insane with the blood thirst raging inside of me. I ripped through the shopping department in a fury and ripped out every living soul’s throats. Everyone. No one was going to live on my watch. I was too fast for people to do more then begin to think to scream before I was out of there and heading to the park.

Tia cringed as she drew in another painful breath in my arms. “Cameron… I—I hurt… so much…” I cradled her into my breast and felt her tears on my skin as I cried out.

“Hold on Tia, your can make it.” I said, trying more to reassure myself then her. I hadn’t had her long enough for her to go already. Her blood stained my clothes as she took in that last breath before she breathed out. “I love you…” and then her body went limp in my arms.

“Such a pity, I was aiming so well for you too.” Sneered William, the vampire slayer, the one who killed my Tia. I unwillingly let her body slide from my arms as I stood to face him like a man. “She was such a pretty human, but then again, such a glorious dead vampire.” His grin stretched from ear to ear. He raised his cross bow and aimed it at me and pulled the trigger—but I dissolved at the last second and the arrow with its holy water doused point, missed me by inches. I appeared inches from him as I tore out his throat, the first of the night. The revenge didn’t taste sweet enough yet though…


I ran a bloody hand through my grotesque hair. The red liquid slid down my chin from the corners of my mouth. I tossed the limp form in my grip onto the concrete that was littered with my masquerade rampage.

I looked up with my blood thirsty grin to see a teenage girl quickly going into shock over what I was doing. I dissolved into a shade and swiftly glided over to her. My hand cupped the back of her neck and crushed the bones in it while I simultaneously pressed my lips to her throat and ripped out her veins and vocal chords before she could cry for help. Very little of her blood actually slid down my burning throat; most of it ended up on the ground or splattered on my clothing that was already damp with my other victims.

I needed more.

These measly humans couldn’t give me the blood I desired. They couldn’t suffer enough pain for my hate.

A deep ferocious growl ripped through my throat and echoed off the glass of the surrounding sky scrapers. I flew across the city to the warehouse, the vampire safe place I had established decades ago, and pushed the front doors open. The force I used thrust the doors off their hinges and the metal slabs clanked loudly on the concrete floor. The light from outside made my tormented shadow stretch out across the throng of vampires bustling around in a panic. Many gave me one, long, horrified glance before dissolving and getting out of there as fast as they could.

Tyler, one of my only friends, was one of the brave few to stay. He stared at me with cold hard eyes. “Why are you doing this?” his whisper barely reached my ears.

“Why do you care?” I snarled back, wiping my mouth on my shirt sleeve.

He cautiously took three steps over to me and closed the distance between us. He put her hands on my shoulders and looked into my bright crimson eyes. “Is this because of Tia?”

I glared back at him stonily. My mouth twitched slightly. “Leave her out of this.” I said lowly.

“Why are you doing this over her?” he asked. “She’s dead. She died to cave your sorry life, so why are you doing this when you know she wouldn’t want you to? Why are you slaughtering men, women, and children over her? Why? Cameron, why!” he demanded, shaking me forcefully. His eyes filled with tears. “Why?! I felt strongly for her also, she was one of my best friends, but you don’t see me out there killing the city! Why?!”

I shoved him away and he collapsed on the ground as I roared. “BECAUSE I LOVE HER!” My voice cracked as I repeated in a much softer, more hurt tone. “Because I love her!” I looked down at my red trembling hands as Tyer looked up at me through his long hair. “I love her…”

There was a series of loud banging and sirens all around the warehouse. People were demanding entrance as I looked for a long time at Tyler. “You have to go… run while you still can…” I said as I turned on my heel to the biggest open room in the warehouse. I didn’t wait to watch him disappear into the dark, I knew he would stay to hopefully fight off the people but would fail.

I rounded a corner into the biggest room and stared at the shadows dancing around outside the windows. With two defining cracks the doors fell down. I stared un-phased at the mob as they pushed inside.

“That’s him!” cried several people as they pointed at me. I grinned my fanged smile as they started towards me. A gun shot went off and I staggered backwards as the bullet pierced my chest. I caught myself from falling backwards and fell forward instead onto my knees.

“He’s down! He’s down!” they screamed out. I didn’t feel the pain I knew I should from the bullet. I saw several vampire slayers coming through the doors and they smiled at me. A tall one with bright white hair was the first to reach me and the first to stab a wooden stake into my chest. I gave him the pleasure of screaming out in agony as fire seared through my body, its focal point; my heart. He pulled my face close to his and I felt his hot breath against my skin. “Does it feel good to die?” he sneered.

“You tell me” I grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked his head back as I tore out his throat.

Several people screamed out and I felt sharp pains as people jabbed more stakes into my back. Holy Water splashed onto me as people dumped a bucket of it over my head. The burning inside intensified as my skin sizzled and fizzed and I thrashed around in pain as it ate away my flesh. I felt like hot fiery pins were scratching my raw skin as people stabbed away happily.

I closed my eyes and only thought of one thing as I slipped into blackness…

Tia… I would see her again… even if it was in hell… I would see her… even if I had to murder God himself to get to her… I Would.  
PostPosted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 4:56 pm
I absolutely love that. I would like to read more of the back story now though, I've been left unsatisfied...

It's so good to see old fashioned vampires back, holy water, crosses, all that jazz, in the middle of a shopping mall too. Great incongruity there.  

Stelle Cadenti

Prophet


Gravetye

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 4:27 pm
There were a couple typos and some grammar issues, but other than that, I liked this. Like Stelle said, old fashioned vampires are pretty scarce in stories being written today, and I usually prefer the old fashioned types. Unless someone has thrown in something really unique to make their "new" vampire interesting. And I liked the fact that the whole thing took place in a mall, too. Very ironic.  
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