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 Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 9:43 am
Quote: "By Odin's beard! Headhunter's got another thread?!" That's right! This time I felt it interesting to talk about friends, relationships and such. While I was reading Cracked.com's funny, yet informative article 7 reasons the 21st century is making you miserable, it linked to an article stating that the number of close friends in the US is dropping. After having gone through both articles and reading their various reasons for their claims, I'm inclined to agree with their points and think this could potentially be a matter of great concern. I urge everyone to at least read Cracked's article on the subject because I'm curious to see what everyone thinks. As always, our non-US members are encouraged to comment. Is this something you notice in your homelands? Discuss: 1. Are our fast paced, technologically ruled 21st century lives alienating us from the rest of the populace slowly but surely? 2. Do we have fewer close friends than in years passed? 3. Can people you've met online, have known for some time yet never met in person be considered "friends" in the truest sense of the word 4. The sub-par TV show and the fact that Seinfeld was FAR superior.
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 11:44 am
the 2 article were really interesting.
well, i cannot say that i have more close friends than yeares passed, but i can say that there are over 5 people i can call every time with every problem. so this people are for me close friends.
i also noticed that my number of good friends growed, i noticed that at my last birthday, wewere over 20 some years ago i had never more than 14 people a my parties.
i guess the way you are living and the place you are living also is important. we have a great house community and i often talk to my neighbours, but i also know people who dont know the people who are living next to them.
i´m often at my boyfriends flat he lives in a special student-homes, they call it Study-villiage. the people wo live there are very mixed , they are from different cuntrys and have diffrent age. there are many activities to get in contact with eachother and i really enjoy to be there. it is just a great community.
i also know a lot of poeple in the web. i met my fist boyfriend in the web first and i met some great girls from poland. we writing mails since 7 years now and i also visited them. i call them real friends.
about people i didn´t met, well i don´t know i guess friends is the wrong word, maybe mate is a better one. sured they can become friends , but that will ake a long time and maybe a meeting.
for me i can say no, i´m not alone. but i know there are many people who ruined their friendsships for W.O.W. or just worked the whole day or just never had time to talk.
it´s getting luxury to have a little conversation withsomeone you don´t really know, outside the web. i guess most people are too afraid to get laughable or say something silly when they talk to other people.
about your last question i cannot say anyhing, i don´t know that TV show.
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 7:00 pm
Hmm...I don't know if that's true for me. I definitely have a few very close friends, but now with technology, a wider array of less close friends and acquaintances. I do feel like online friends can be true friends...I have a few people I met on a site who I've been friends with for 4 years, and we've never met in person. We send each other Christmas cards, even. biggrin
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 7:06 pm
Very interesting reading. I really do agree with the point made about how we don't interact with such a wide array of people as often so we don't build up a 'tolerance' to others...
I am happy to say that I have at least three close friends by their measure. I have a couple of people I think I could trust with something important but whom with I have not kept up.
I have also been lucky recently because I have met a number of new people. It is nice to be in college and thus surrounded with people my age.
I'm not so sure why they put the blame all on the advancement of technology though.... I fell that is a bit unfair. Technology is just tools and it is how people use the tools provided by technology that determines if they are a positive thing or not. In fact I would probably have lost touch with even more people from my past if I didn't have internet and cell phone to keep in touch.
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 8:19 pm
kekadu Hmm...I don't know if that's true for me. I definitely have a few very close friends, but now with technology, a wider array of less close friends and acquaintances. I do feel like online friends can be true friends...I have a few people I met on a site who I've been friends with for 4 years, and we've never met in person. We send each other Christmas cards, even. biggrin
I think I could only trust maybe three people with the photo they used as a reference in the first article.
I know I don't have many really good friends at least not from what I can call friends. Most of my friends seemed to have abandoned me or I never had any to begin with -- unless we count Steven and my mom. sweatdrop It seems my only true friends are my family members and some very close ones online, but even then I wonder if I really have even that many. confused
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 8:40 pm
1. Are our fast paced, technologically ruled 21st century lives alienating us from the rest of the populace slowly but surely?
I see and agree with -some- of the points, but it did seem like the author of the first article took things off the deep end a bit. I do feel like anonymity online and "blocking" have become tools teaching us not to play nice if you will. I do think that Facebook and such have been wonderful tools to reconnect. In person I never realized some facts about people I went to school with. I know at least three people off hand who I am much, much better friends with thanks to facebook than I was before.
2. Do we have fewer close friends than in years passed?
I think we do to an extent. I mean we don't have as many social circles in person as one used to. However, I think the quality of relationships has remained the same. While the one article talked about tolerating people- years ago people still had numerous associattes but only a few close friends.
I find my close friend circle ebbs and wanes. One life lesson I've learned is that sometimes the friends you didn't think you could count on come through for you at the critical moment. Likewise sometimes our seemingly most reliable friends flake out when we need them most. Sometimes no one knows who their true friends are.
3. Can people you've met online, have known for some time yet never met in person be considered "friends" in the truest sense of the word
I believe so. My friends Tara and Jonathan have known me online for 9-10 years and remain pretty dear to me. Sometimes a physical hang out is just not feasible. I think no less of net friends in England or Australia just because I have not hung out with them. How is it any different from Pen Pals in days of old?
4. The sub-par TV show and the fact that Seinfeld was FAR superior.
Actually I liked friends better than Seinfeld. The cast of Seinfeld was a bit too selfish at times. That and Joey (Matt LeBlanc's character) really was adorable. Though I -hated- Ross.
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Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 4:48 am
(As usual) I'm going to have to disagree with some of the statements made in the 7 Reasons the 21st Century is Making You Miserable article.
#1. We don't have enough annoying strangers in our lives.
We do - we now have the ability to aviod them. I agree that we need outside 'stresses' to build our tollerance and make us better people - but I think that the modern lifestyle encourages diversity.
I think the internet is the most powerful tool which encourages diversity (ie people from all points on the earth) as it enables us to quickly and cheaply communicate with any part of the world. I see our generation as being more tollerant and more accepting of other cultures and class (upper/middle/low) and less critical of people's background. We are now judged on who we are, not where we were born.
#2. We don't have enough annoying friends, either.
We do (I'm thinking of my mothers). Again, the ability to "keep in touch" at a distance has saved my relationship with my mother.
#3. Texting is a shitty way to communicate.
Text is a good way to communicate, in person is better as it enables words (text) to have accents and body language. I think texting (email, sms) is good suppliment to verbal communication. Neither is perfect alone as both have an 'interpretation' factor on the receiving end.
#4. Online company only makes us lonelier.
Not true. I have friend in real life, but I value my online friends as much. They're different, but just as valuable to me. I think the internet opens up a HUGE social network for the what-would-have-been in the past loners, geeks, disabled or just socially inept.
#5. We don't get criticized enough.
This brings me to the topic of Bullies. It used to be that being a Boss meant that you can do or say anything to your staff. Not any more! There is a time for feedback - criticism - but it's now EXPECTED to be delivered in a manner which is constructive rather than destructive. I've had several bosses tell me where I was going wrong. Some were bullies and made me cry, the others were encouraging and helped me to improve my skills.
#6. We're victims of the Outrage Machine.
I had no idea what the author was rambing on here (got bored of their rant - a problem with the modern age eek )...so I have no comment.
#7. We feel worthless, because we actually are worth less.
This goes back to a previous post about us being worse off now than we were "in the olden days"....I disagreed then, and feel the same now. Power to women! I have a home loan! I can vote! My opinion matters!
RRAARRRWWW!
To answer your questions, Headhunter :
(1) not really...see my rant above.
(2) I don't think so...possibly we have fewer "people we tolerate" in our lives.
(3) yes, I'd say that some of my online friends are "true" friends.
(4) I don't watch TV...and have only seen one Seinfeld episode....so have no idea what you're talking about. biggrin
Sorry for typos or spelling errors. I'm tired and didn't check.
heart
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