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 Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 12:00 pm
Ok, this is a long one, but I'd really appreciate some suggestions on my problem.
I have two cats that I adopted from shelters. A girl cat who I adopted over 5 years ago and a boy cat who I adopted about 4 years ago. I got him to give my girl cat company since she tends to have separation anxiety with me. She's 8 and he's 7.
Problem is that ever since I got him, he's been spraying off and on and yes both are fixed. The first time, ok he's in a new home. Second time, ok my husband moved in. Those were some bad days where he'd peed on everything. For a long time it stopped. Every once in awhile he'd do it (change of food, change of cat litter) So we moved and he was ok for about a couple of months, until he started again....and it got so bad he actually peed on the bed while we were sleeping in it! Ever since then it's been off and on. And now we moved again and like before he was fine until last week when almost every day he's sprayed on our futon.
Now I've spent hundreds of dollars on good cleaning supplies, Feilaway, shampooing couches, extra litter boxes and even herbal medication. I've read a bunch of books, put out 3 different litter boxes, closed the bedroom off, closed the windows at night in case cats are setting him off and whatever else I may think the problem may be. I won't even get into how many blankets and rugs he's ruined. We have to keep our futon covered with trash bags at night. See he acts fine no meowing or acting crazy, but next thing you know there's a very stinky stain on it.
Yes, I know the stress of moving is hard on any cat, but it doesn't stop after we've all gotten comfortable.
Not only that, he picks on the girl cat a lot, causing her to be stressed out a lot and she's a shy quiet cat that doesn't like to bother anyone.
Now I can suck it up and keep dealing with it even though it stresses me to no end, but I'm worried that once I have kids, he'll spray on their things and I can't have that.
I know he's my responsibility, and I know that shelters are over run with other cats....but would it be horrible to give him back to his shelter and hope he can find maybe a one cat family? I know it's my problem, but is it justifiable to be concerned about my future kids and the state of our home? I want him to be happy and obviously he's not if he keeps doing this.
I'm so torn on this subject because I don't want to be the bad person sending her cat to the shelter, because I'm not that kind of person. But then I think that maybe he'd actually be a happier cat somewhere else.
Thanks!
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 12:31 pm
Oh boy, that's a tough one. The boy cats at my mother's have always had a problem with spraying, but we just always tolerated it and cleaned up. It definitely is disgusting, inconvenient and distressing having cat pee all over the place all the time. Have you tried flower essences? Different types of litter ( Cat Attract is supposed to be really good for cats who go outside the litterbox)? I've heard that placing a small bowl of food on spots that are regular targets for marking can be a good deterrent (theory is cats don't like to mark in the same spots they eat), though if you don't free-feed dry food that might not be a viable option. Have you taken him to the vet and ruled out any medical condition? If you've tried everything and can't deal with the marking problem any more, I'd suggest trying to place him in a one-cat home yourself before taking him to a shelter. If you can find him a home yourself that will avoid putting more pressure on the shelter to place him, and will also likely provide for a smoother transition for your cat, since being in a shelter environment is very stressful and will probably not help with the marking (which will make it harder for the shelter to place him.) You'll also have more control over where he goes and you can feel confident knowing he's in a home that you've approved. I'd recommend placing an ad in Craigslist, kijiji and on your local Freecycle (people giving away pets here on Freecycle seem to have generally gotten a really good response.) If your shelter has a bulletin board for giveaways that's also a good place to post an ad.
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Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 8:30 am
Well, it's not a litter box issue, it's more psychological. From what I've read, he has the cat personality of "things need to be in place and always on a schedule." And while we try to keep things the same, sometimes you can't help but change something or you can't control something from the outside happening.
And I can't really put his food or water on the problem spots because it's always on the couch we sit on. I've tried putting his toys up there, but that didn't work. I have some herbal stuff I give him for anxiety that seems to work, but I don't want to give it to him every day.
I took him to the vet for his shots and the vet said he was ok. Another vet gave me tips to use and said medication might work...but then it might not. Again, I don't want him to be drugged up all the time.
Idealistically, I'd love to find him a home myself by placing an ad in Craigslist or Freecycle, but the papers that I signed when I adopted him say I must contact the shelter and possibly bring him back there. Since they do interviews and such when adopting their animals, I'm sure they don't want you in turn to give it to just anybody and they not be a good match for the cat.
Heh, it's all so complicated and since I've been dealing with this for a while, I've gotten to the point where I've almost exhausted all my resources.
Thanks for your suggestions!
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Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 12:19 pm
i signed a similar contract with my shelter, that if i can no longer keep either of my cats (both of whom i got at the same shelter), i have to return them and not turn them over to someone else.
that said, i still made arrangements so that my best friend is my cats' "godmother." if for some reason i cannot keep my cats, she will take them.
but yeah, between the option of turning over your boy cat to people you don't know and returning him to the shelter, perhaps the best way to resolve the situation is by honoring your contract and returning him to the shelter. is it a no-kill shelter? yes, it would be very sad to give up your boy cat, but it seems like y'all end up with the wrong match and that he will be happier as an only cat.
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Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 6:45 am
Yes, it's a no kill shelter he was adopted from. I had also volunteered at this shelter and it's a very nice one and they treat their animals so well.
We did decided that it is best to bring him back and hope that he will find a better home. I feel awful, but I think it's for the best. We're actually flying him from NC to AZ this Thanksgiving to bring him back, so we're taking this seriously.
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