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[Blind Blindness]

The Badongest One

*pays respecc*

Oh yeh boiii…so glad...so glad...you could pay respecc in this join' here homie.  

[delasislas]

Blind Blindness

delasislas

Got done with sailing on the ship. Had a lot of fun going up the Oregon and California coast. On the 4th of July we had a pyrotechnics safety demonstration where we got to practice shooting flares at night. Started to learn how to sail a ship from one of the officers onboard and learned how to mend nets from some of the deck crew among other things.

Sounds like you're having fun traversing the ocean and learning valuable skills relevant to your profession of interest.

Oh so much fun. Plus no sea sickness.  

[Blind Blindness]

delasislas

Blind Blindness

delasislas

Got done with sailing on the ship. Had a lot of fun going up the Oregon and California coast. On the 4th of July we had a pyrotechnics safety demonstration where we got to practice shooting flares at night. Started to learn how to sail a ship from one of the officers onboard and learned how to mend nets from some of the deck crew among other things.

Sounds like you're having fun traversing the ocean and learning valuable skills relevant to your profession of interest.

Oh so much fun. Plus no sea sickness.

I got seasick a couple times on a cruise...but I suspect it was more the food, especially when the second time around I had had a lot of mushrooms...  

[delasislas]

Blind Blindness

delasislas

Blind Blindness

delasislas

Got done with sailing on the ship. Had a lot of fun going up the Oregon and California coast. On the 4th of July we had a pyrotechnics safety demonstration where we got to practice shooting flares at night. Started to learn how to sail a ship from one of the officers onboard and learned how to mend nets from some of the deck crew among other things.

Sounds like you're having fun traversing the ocean and learning valuable skills relevant to your profession of interest.

Oh so much fun. Plus no sea sickness.

I got seasick a couple times on a cruise...but I suspect it was more the food, especially when the second time around I had had a lot of mushrooms...

Only suggestion that I can give is to get up and walk around. Go see the bridge. Do anything but sit down and stare at a computer or book.  

[The Badongest One]

Blind Blindness

Well hopefully things get better for you and all the people that are associated with your work that are causing trouble get their acts together or stop being a nuisance...sounds stressful and I can imagine that being in a workplace that's kind of...toxic doesn't do much good for your mental health, but as you said, easier to stay now with your anxiety.

That's true. I learned in school (and life) that a lot of people in Asian cultures don't like to discuss or seek mental health treatment. I am also reminded of a movie, The Farewell, which I want to see. Which is more physical health, but in the movie apparently the family wants to keep a diagnosis a secret from the elderly matriarch. I do understand what you mean though. To your mother, she doesn't understand the significance of anxiety in your life. You can't just will it away. I have a lot of anxiety, and I can't just will it away! Sometimes you have to take medication. There's also talk therapy, and specifically sometimes techniques like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help individuals. If you want to, definitely you have the right to know your diagnosis. Sometimes therapists are required to give diagnoses for paperwork purposes..insurance...reimbursement...all that jazz. I don't know if you saw anyone for the medication, but if you're on it, you might already have a diagnosis. Or if you're referred by your PCP, yeah the counselor, psychologist, psychiatristmght diagnose you with something specific, like Generalized Anxiety Disorder...Panic Disorder...Major Depressive Disorder...etc.

Generally, the internships are unpaid. However, because I am on a fellowship, I got a tuition waiver for last semester and this semester I am going to get a stipend. I just have to take an extra class and do a little more work. But it's a really good deal.

Nah, it's not so much the people as the company itself. Hoping they're having regrets about taking this space. The company president himself came to check it out once and remarked that our campus was a lot slower than others he has businesses on.

I've kinda wanted to see The Farewell too. Media representation always feels nice. Need more things aside from just Jackie Chan movies and Crazy Rich Asians. :'3
I feel like I also got confirmation that the rest of my family neither knows nor cares, cuz during that same episode I was having, my brother came around to tell me all that s**t I was feeling was all in my head. I wanted to scream at him, cuz of ******** course it's all in my head and I didn't have any way to fix it that wasn't just shitty advice of "get over it". And the only person's mental health that seems to matter to most everyone else in this house is just my dad's, cuz he also has depression.
When I was initially told I had borderline severe anxiety, it was just from telling my physician at the time about all my symptoms. All that was happening at the end of 2014, so I didn't actually get medication until just last month. I'm on a more state-wide medical insurance and had to find my own clinic cuz I'm no longer under parents' coverage, so it was my NP asking if I would like to start medication. I also had to answer a short questionnaire while I was having my first few visits and they were like "Oh, you have mild depression too." I'm still thinking of actually going to a counselor one of these days, but it would have to wait until I'm able to move out of this house because I don't need to be bothered about me being on meds.

I'm glad all that has been working out for you. I can't imagine working on an
internship now, but damn, tuition waiving is a really good deal.  

[Blind Blindness]

The Badongest One

Blind Blindness

Well hopefully things get better for you and all the people that are associated with your work that are causing trouble get their acts together or stop being a nuisance...sounds stressful and I can imagine that being in a workplace that's kind of...toxic doesn't do much good for your mental health, but as you said, easier to stay now with your anxiety.

That's true. I learned in school (and life) that a lot of people in Asian cultures don't like to discuss or seek mental health treatment. I am also reminded of a movie, The Farewell, which I want to see. Which is more physical health, but in the movie apparently the family wants to keep a diagnosis a secret from the elderly matriarch. I do understand what you mean though. To your mother, she doesn't understand the significance of anxiety in your life. You can't just will it away. I have a lot of anxiety, and I can't just will it away! Sometimes you have to take medication. There's also talk therapy, and specifically sometimes techniques like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help individuals. If you want to, definitely you have the right to know your diagnosis. Sometimes therapists are required to give diagnoses for paperwork purposes..insurance...reimbursement...all that jazz. I don't know if you saw anyone for the medication, but if you're on it, you might already have a diagnosis. Or if you're referred by your PCP, yeah the counselor, psychologist, psychiatristmght diagnose you with something specific, like Generalized Anxiety Disorder...Panic Disorder...Major Depressive Disorder...etc.

Generally, the internships are unpaid. However, because I am on a fellowship, I got a tuition waiver for last semester and this semester I am going to get a stipend. I just have to take an extra class and do a little more work. But it's a really good deal.

Nah, it's not so much the people as the company itself. Hoping they're having regrets about taking this space. The company president himself came to check it out once and remarked that our campus was a lot slower than others he has businesses on.

I've kinda wanted to see The Farewell too. Media representation always feels nice. Need more things aside from just Jackie Chan movies and Crazy Rich Asians. :'3
I feel like I also got confirmation that the rest of my family neither knows nor cares, cuz during that same episode I was having, my brother came around to tell me all that s**t I was feeling was all in my head. I wanted to scream at him, cuz of ******** course it's all in my head and I didn't have any way to fix it that wasn't just shitty advice of "get over it". And the only person's mental health that seems to matter to most everyone else in this house is just my dad's, cuz he also has depression.
When I was initially told I had borderline severe anxiety, it was just from telling my physician at the time about all my symptoms. All that was happening at the end of 2014, so I didn't actually get medication until just last month. I'm on a more state-wide medical insurance and had to find my own clinic cuz I'm no longer under parents' coverage, so it was my NP asking if I would like to start medication. I also had to answer a short questionnaire while I was having my first few visits and they were like "Oh, you have mild depression too." I'm still thinking of actually going to a counselor one of these days, but it would have to wait until I'm able to move out of this house because I don't need to be bothered about me being on meds.

I'm glad all that has been working out for you. I can't imagine working on an
internship now, but damn, tuition waiving is a really good deal.

Oi, well I hope things turn around lol

I saw the Farewell on Wednesday, and it was great! Very sentimental and good messages. I recommend it if you get the chance. Yes, I can imagine that media representation is very nice!! My racial/ethnic majority is represented too much...lol

People really see mental health as more controllable than it actually is. They don't get that brain chemistry and environment work together to play such a role that you can't just "get over it"; for some people it takes years and even then. People who have schizophrenia, personality disorders, dissociative/traumatic disorders, as you can imagine there can be even more permanency! Like imagine telling a person with antisocial personality disorder to just be a better person...it's just not going to work, or a person with borderline personality disorder to just get along with others and not be so emotional...again not going to work...or a person with PTSD to just get over the trauma already...yeah again not going to work. Same with depression or anxiety. This s**t takes time; it probably didn't happen overnight and it won't go away overnight either. And in many cases individuals need therapy and/or medication, and when parents trivialize it or outright dismiss it, or pretend it doesn't exist, that can be very invalidating and just plain hurtful.
Hm yeah, sometimes you find out with your PCP. It sounds like you have a ways to go in your mental health journey, so to speak, but hopefully the medication you were prescribed will help you in the meantime until you're able to receive counseling/therapy. Also, the healthcare system can suck :/

Yeah, the internship's a required part of my program. Basically it's 9-5 and you have an internship class associated with it one evening per week and for the tuition waiver or stipend you have a fellowship class as well. I'm lucky I got to be a part of it. You have to intern with a specific site that's associated with the fellowship and the population I work with is substance abuse, which is tough but you learn a lot.  

[Princess Zelda21]

So last night, I decided to try the Runway with my avi. The category I entered was Princess Zelda vs Princess Peach Toadstool! It's my best Smash Bros. Melee version for Ocarina of Time Zelda. Might not be completely accurate, but it'll do, I guess. ^_^*  

[Princess Zelda21]

This new Lake Kindred event is taking forever to collect the right amount of kin eggs just for both achievements that require them. While I collect the new RiGs, I'm selling some bundles I got out of some of the RiGs in my shop. If anyone wants, they can take a look and see what I've got. ^_^*  

[TheMagicalAcidTrip]

Hello. Ah-.....I like rusty spoons......

The feeling of rust, against my salad fingers, is almost orgasmic.....  

[Blind Blindness]

TheMagicalAcidTrip

Hello. Ah-.....I like rusty spoons......

The feeling of rust, against my salad fingers, is almost orgasmic.....

oh gard...das sexii  

[delasislas]

Hey again. Finally got back to school and was struggling to make sense of what was going on.  

[Blind Blindness]

delasislas

Hey again. Finally got back to school and was struggling to make sense of what was going on.

Oh no. That sounds stressful.  

[delasislas]

Blind Blindness

delasislas

Hey again. Finally got back to school and was struggling to make sense of what was going on.

Oh no. That sounds stressful.

Made it. Luckily I didn't have much homework. I'm taking this one class, Physics across oceanography, which is just physics with a touch of oceanography. If I remember correctly it was like 2015 and 2016 when I took Physics and Calculus. I understand it, but I'm always doubting my self when signs of fluxes come into play.