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A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight...

Grief comes from loss, and not necessarily from death, meaning we can and do experience a lot of grief in our lifetimes. Some people try to take their mind off of it by spending time with friends. I personally spend time alone, getting to know myself and why I have the feelings in the first place.

I think of the 4 Noble Truths of Buddhism. The first truth is that nothing lasts forever. Knowing that means that we should expect grief for losing what we lost, but it also means that the feeling of grief itself won't last forever. That's why I think hiding from it is only delaying the pain.

The second truth says that craving will lead to suffering. Wanting a person back will lead to feelings of sadness.

The third truth says that ending the craving will end the suffering. You have to stop the wanting that leads to the pain.

Of course the fourth truth tells that the way to stop craving is through a path of meditation and discipline. Realizing that you are not your feelings helps take the power away from them.

Thinking and not thinking- just being, helps me get through hard times of grief.

...and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

everyone has their own way of dealing with grief. i tend to disassociate myself from everyone else, locking myself in my room for a period of time.
i don't show grief outward. i haven't cried at a funeral since i was 7. unfortunately, my outwardly numb appearance gives off the illusion of me not caring, which is far from the truth. i just don't show emotions.

Wow, there are some incredible answers thus far. I feel guilty because I've never lost anyone deeply I cared about, most of the relatives who died I mourned more for the loss of opportunity than anything else. I suppose I have thus tried to not let people slip by as much.

However, I have lost a lot in my life to forces other than death. The loss of friendships and the loss of romantic relationships have become as common place to me as eating a bowl of cereal. When I love, I love fiercely, and very few people know just how bad I grieve. Like Mike I don't always outwardly show my pain. I have circles, if you will, of what people see. It's not just that I don't trust my emotions to others (though that is an issue), it's also that I've built my life around being the support of those around me. I have a select, select few that I turn to when I need emotional foundation on a major level.

I have always found my strength by remembering the concept of resurrection in both Jesus and in the story of the Phoenix. Sometimes we must die inside, fall to the bottom, in order to be reborn from the ashes and return stronger than ever. A year and two months ago I lost my best friend and three days later my maybe love of my life (who knows though, the verdict isn't back yet wink another chap could easily win that title). Losing both relationships within a heart beat of one another was rather devastating. I became extremely irritable (and I left the guild temporarily).

I survived that by finding me again. After that one, well for some reason everything else has been easier since. Sometimes when you have a big enough hurt you discover to your amazement just how strong you are. Believing you -can- survive is half the battle. I also find that faith helps. We are small in the vastness of the universe and turning to something greater, be it Jesus, Brahman, the teachings of the Buddha, Athena, the Goddess, Allah, etc. Grief makes us powerless, and sometimes we need to remember that it is ok to let someone or something else hold the reigns of life.

I found out something amazing last night. Noirkaze- I know this thread was inspired by the passing of your great aunt yesterday. I turned on my phone as I was about to go to work. I had a voicemail.

My friend Kaity had her baby yesterday. A little easter miracle to remind us that with death comes life. I told my coworker and he thinks the little baby girl may just be someone familiar 3nodding

As Antonia states I lost my Great Aunt on Sunday. I took this harder than the other two deaths I've had to deal with since the last day of December. Talking with friends and family it was pointed out to me that it could be the fact that this is the third in three months. Five if you count the social acquaintances that have passed as well. It was also hard because this was the time of year, Easter, that I always saw her.

I think grief comes in many forms. Depending on the level of experience, role in life, and well many different factors you can feel it at varying degrees. Growing up death was a common thing for me. I come from a very large, very large family. My parents generation is the only that hasn’t had more than two children apiece. Family reunions were always fun as I had people in all stages of life to get close to and learn from. Unfortunately this also meant that I had to deal with death too. One of my earliest memories is of a funeral. I learned the concept of passing on to something else very early. In some ways this has changed my views on death and “the great beyond”. I do see it as a loss but not the end.
When I was little I could cry. Sometimes I think it may have been the overwhelming sensations around me as everyone was feeling loss to one degree or another. As I got older it took these emotions within me. I took on the role of caregiver and comforter. It gave me something to distance myself from my own emotions to process and deal with in my own time. In many ways I still do this. Seven years ago I lost my last grandparent. I didn’t show an emotion for over a month. I ate little and still thinking about it brings small tears to my eyes. I don’t know how many of my Aunts approached me with food and sat me down to make sure I ate something. It took me two years before I could express any of my grief. It was a trip to a Samhain festival with a pit stop, an out of the way pit stop, at the cemetery where my Grandparents are interred. As I sat there a sense of peace came over me and I was able to remember him and process my own feelings.

This past year at the same festival the main ritual was one of remembrance and mourning. Half the participants drew a red lot that represented their death. Those individuals were painted and walked around as ghosts all day. One of the prep rites during the day was lead by the community bard and friend of mine S J Tucker. During this rite she asked those gathered outside the circle of the dead to call out the names of their loved ones who were inside. I was one of the dead. I shocked me the number of people yelling out my name, those who cared for me and would miss me if I were gone. This small ten minute rite changed my concept of mourning and grief.
Too many times we get caught up in our own feelings of loss and abandonment to truly remember those who came before us. Although we need to deal with these feelings we should also focus some energy on acknowledging what these individuals did for us and the impact they had on those around us.
After I heard the news of my Great Aunt’s passing I called a friend for comfort and distraction. She made arraignments for me to join her family for dinner. I was adopted by yet another family for a holiday and in the process I think I may have made a good friend in a distant relative by marriage of one of my closest friends.

I think I may have rambled on long enough.
Thank you for your concern and support everyone.