Not really fantasied about it, but in art and stories (and a few actual sleeping dreams) I've used china dolls as a symbol for myself. Pretty, but fragile and not useful to anyone.
There is a particular dream that comes to mind...
The main characters were played by
Paul,
Mary, and my mother. I think I was Mary, but Paul was the main character. The lighting was rather like Kingdom hospital, too. Although I was played by Mary, people still referred to me as by my name, my mother was still my mother, and I still lived on my farm. I would like to emphasize that the main character was played by Paul, not his actor, and that it wasn't Paul himself because he was alive and really sweet.
The first image I really remember was a badly hurt rabbit running through the farmyard. It's ribs were showing, and in the logic of dreams, we had to catch it and see if it needed ministering or to be killed.
I think there were more images of that nature, I remember animals crying but I can't get any more particular images.
Then me-Mary got hurt, bleeding from the chest and gut (when I woke, I thought the wound resembled the tear in my aura) and not-Paul need to save her. I really remember how worried and sweet he was. He carried her up to the woods at the edge of the road, and he saw something pale in the leaves. When he took her into it, he found this grotto which was filled with all these weathered, broken china dolls. Which is odd, because I've used broken dolls to represent myself before. He started searching for one to be a new body for her. The first one he saw was a life-sized girl in early pubescence, not too badly broken, and while he figured that one would work, he wanted to check the rest of them first to see if there was one that wasn't as badly broken. As he searched, my mother started running up the street past the woods calling my name. She sounded really worried, so he called out to her and explained what he was doing. She was worried until she understood and then she was all, "Oh, alright then. Why don't you just use that big one at the entrance?" And he couldn't really explain why, but he really wanted to only use that one as a last resort. He didn't really know why he didn't want it.
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