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 Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 5:33 am
To begin, I'm basically just going to ask the main question as to why I joined this guild. It's something I've wanted to ask and always felt too shy to say right up. Like alot of my friends, I wish I was actully goth. Victorian type goth that is.
For a very long time, I have always idolised the beautiful lace corsest and kneee high boots known in the fashion of gothic subculture. I look at it and just wish I could dress like that and pull it off the way they do. However, I'm very shy.
I don't want to just go and fill my wardrobe with Emily the Strange labels and black cargo pants with chains running up and down the sides. I want to dress in that medievil, gothic-lolita, aristocrat goth I see.
However, I don't think I would feel right if I wore that kind of clothing. I don't want to be looked at and be though of as a 'poser' by other goths or a 'freak' by other people. I have a single goth friend at school in the grade above me, but I don't want her to look at me and scoff when I turn up on the next free dress day, decked in black, red, dark green or purple. I have a few dresses in my wardrobe which I like to wear around the house, but as soon as I walk up the road to a corner shop in them. I become self concious and run to my nearest hide away. I like how I look in them and find the materials feel very nice, but I still can't bring my self to do what I want.
I don't feel like I'm the right kind of person to dress like that because I also have non-goth traits.
I like both Alice Nine, Gazzette, Perfume, Justin Timberlake, Sneaky sound system and Fergi from the Black eyed peas. This isn't the type of thing a goth would have on their Ipod.
My favourite movies are Labyrinth, TNBC and I can laugh at Mean Girls openly.
More fears lie in the make-up styles and my appearence. I always become scared I might screw it up so it looks like a panda face at a zoo! and not the natural pale site I see walking in the city. I also have tanned skin, so I become paranoid that I havn't gotten every part of my face and neck covered. I'm also sort of petite with a child like face. I constantly am mistaken for being in grade 7 or 8 while I'm actully in year 10. I always feel as if when people look at me, they'll see a child dressing up in 'mum's clothes' The goth friend I spoke of before suggested I do something like Claudia from 'Interview with the vampire'. Appearing young but having more knowledge than given credit for.
I know that goth is dressing and acting as yourself in a way to make you stand out and show you're not pretending. Using things that you like to influence the way you dress and act, a self expression type thing. But I still dislike the idea of standing out that much and recieving so many looks. Does this mean I'm not cut out to be goth, that I can never asociate with the attractivly dressed people in black and their gothic sub-culture?
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 5:36 am
Oh yes, I'm also sorry if I put this in the wrong forum. I read the rules, but couldn't find any place to put this... sweatdrop
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 7:48 am
[ Hot Chocolate. ] To begin, I'm basically just going to ask the main question as to why I joined this guild. It's something I've wanted to ask and always felt too shy to say right up. Like alot of my friends, I wish I was actully goth. Victorian type goth that is.
For a very long time, I have always idolised the beautiful lace corsest and kneee high boots known in the fashion of gothic subculture. I look at it and just wish I could dress like that and pull it off the way they do. However, I'm very shy.
I don't want to just go and fill my wardrobe with Emily the Strange labels and black cargo pants with chains running up and down the sides. I want to dress in that medievil, gothic-lolita, aristocrat goth I see.
However, I don't think I would feel right if I wore that kind of clothing. I don't want to be looked at and be though of as a 'poser' by other goths or a 'freak' by other people. I have a single goth friend at school in the grade above me, but I don't want her to look at me and scoff when I turn up on the next free dress day, decked in black, red, dark green or purple. I have a few dresses in my wardrobe which I like to wear around the house, but as soon as I walk up the road to a corner shop in them. I become self concious and run to my nearest hide away. I like how I look in them and find the materials feel very nice, but I still can't bring my self to do what I want.
I don't feel like I'm the right kind of person to dress like that because I also have non-goth traits.
I like both Alice Nine, Gazzette, Perfume, Justin Timberlake, Sneaky sound system and Fergi from the Black eyed peas. This isn't the type of thing a goth would have on their Ipod.
My favourite movies are Labyrinth, TNBC and I can laugh at Mean Girls openly.
More fears lie in the make-up styles and my appearence. I always become scared I might screw it up so it looks like a panda face at a zoo! and not the natural pale site I see walking in the city. I also have tanned skin, so I become paranoid that I havn't gotten every part of my face and neck covered. I'm also sort of petite with a child like face. I constantly am mistaken for being in grade 7 or 8 while I'm actully in year 10. I always feel as if when people look at me, they'll see a child dressing up in 'mum's clothes' The goth friend I spoke of before suggested I do something like Claudia from 'Interview with the vampire'. Appearing young but having more knowledge than given credit for.
I know that goth is dressing and acting as yourself in a way to make you stand out and show you're not pretending. Using things that you like to influence the way you dress and act, a self expression type thing. But I still dislike the idea of standing out that much and recieving so many looks. Does this mean I'm not cut out to be goth, that I can never asociate with the attractivly dressed people in black and their gothic sub-culture? Hun you are being honest, and truthful to yourself which is a great thing. You could later on down the road change your mind on wanting to be gothic, and start doing it later, but if you don't feel right doing it now then don't do it.... At the same time if you don't feel comfortable dressing goth, and being dark, and morbid then that is a good thing...
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 12:59 pm
You seem like you're very in-tune with who you are, and that is an absolutely wonderful thing! blaugh
As far as apperance and music go, they may be what comes to mind when a lot of people think of goth, but you by no means need to enjoy the music or wear the fashion in order to be considered gothy. It mostly has to do with who you are on the inside. Anyone can wear black velvet and listen to Bauhaus, but not everyone has the correct attitude to be gothy.
It's perfectly understandable that you may not want to wear gothic clothing. If you're shy then I don't think that romantic gothic fashions would suit you, because they do attract attention and comments. Besides, if you're not comfortable in what you're wearing, it will show through. Confidince is much more attractive than discomfort. 3nodding
As for your ability to be gothy and to fit in with other goths, I doubt that you'll have much difficulty in that area. As I mentioned before, clothing and music don't make somone gothy, thier personality does. As for the issue of being able to associate with other goths, from my experiences most seem very friendly and open, and will not discriminate against you based on your apperance. As long as you're a kindly, friendly, and somewhat sociable individual, I doubt you'll have any problems in that area. heart
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 4:25 pm
My dear "Hot Chocolate." You have a lot of fear. But, something you may not know, and that I didn't know back when I was shy, is that everyone else in this world is afraid too. Of almost everything. It's kind of pathetic. We are all afraid of each other, and that's silly. So silly that...you can take advantage of it. Revel in the discomfort that people display when you dress unconventionally because it means you have the upper hand.
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 5:46 pm
DreamerSpirit You seem like you're very in-tune with who you are, and that is an absolutely wonderful thing! blaugh As far as apperance and music go, they may be what comes to mind when a lot of people think of goth, but you by no means need to enjoy the music or wear the fashion in order to be considered gothy. It mostly has to do with who you are on the inside. Anyone can wear black velvet and listen to Bauhaus, but not everyone has the correct attitude to be gothy. It's perfectly understandable that you may not want to wear gothic clothing. If you're shy then I don't think that romantic gothic fashions would suit you, because they do attract attention and comments. Besides, if you're not comfortable in what you're wearing, it will show through. Confidince is much more attractive than discomfort. 3nodding As for your ability to be gothy and to fit in with other goths, I doubt that you'll have much difficulty in that area. As I mentioned before, clothing and music don't make somone gothy, thier personality does. As for the issue of being able to associate with other goths, from my experiences most seem very friendly and open, and will not discriminate against you based on your apperance. As long as you're a kindly, friendly, and somewhat sociable individual, I doubt you'll have any problems in that area. heart However, the idea of the personality playing a role is debatable - it almost makes it seem like goths are to be homogenous, in my opinion. It's also a bit weird that the supposed attitude is rarely - if ever - described. And when the music plays a massive role in the history of goth, it's kind of hard to downplay it. As for the OP, just be warned that romanti-goth fashion tends to be expensive unless you know how to make clothes yourself (and even then, it depends on the materials you use). And to paraphrase DreamerSpirit, it might take a while for you to get used to receiving comments if you have a shy personality.
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-Resurrected Writer- Crew
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 4:48 pm
Girls have like 50 more gothic styles than boys. sad
I want a top-hat. sweatdrop
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 5:25 pm
I can agree with what you have to say, because I went through a similar stage and well, went along with just listening to myself and not caring what people think. Over time my looked developed really, and I can say, I am the type to wear just casual jeans and a color shirt, if I care to. It really isn't about look, it's about personality.
When I was younger in my freshmen year, I was a complete loner, and what I did made me feel pathetic, I tried pulling off the whole "goth" look with black pants, becasue my ex-friend was doing the same thing, buying things back and forth from HotTopic just to try and fit in, and what not, and I felt ashamed because I didn't feel like I was myself, and well I am living with low income so I couldn't buy the stuff I wanted anyway. It took time to just stop and think and let myself live with what I had and just accept who I am, even though I still have a "gothic" style going for me, my own self conscious is better, and shyness in reality is just something to over come. I mean, I know people at my high school who make me think they are preps and they hang out with the other "goths" at their table before school. Not many people that I know of honestly don't dress to highly "goth" but really just wear what they have. I will admit, I do own one pair of Tripps with chains, quite a few black skits and tops, and mesh/lace shirts and fishnet, but I also dress like any one else would in society, and they like me for who I am, just in jeans and a casual shirt.
Really you shouldn't stress about it, because really goth in any case is just a sub culture label, and really you can choose what you want to be. You just need to believe in your self more. 3nodding
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Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 11:34 pm
The romanti-goth look is quite lovely but would be hard to pull off if you are shy. I used to be so shy about everything but now i love to talk to random people and i love getting comments on how i look, negative and positive. Only thing that i can't wear with courage is my "plastic princess crown" (it's one of those cheap 5$ ones you get at wal-mart). I can go into public with it but when i am hanging on my street and some people come walking down that i know...I hurry and hide it. sweatdrop
Anyway, i got kinda off topic in a way. If you don't feel confident in those clothes than try other styles that suite you. You don't have to wear "gothy" clothes to hang out with goths. I know i didn't at first. But slowly they dragged me under into thier morbid realm. xD Just whatever you do, make sure it is acually you.... 3nodding
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Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2007 11:21 am
Just wear what you like and what suits you. Goth is in your mind, not in your clothes. Only you know what is best for you!
Every goth has not goth traits, me also. I also listen to loads of different bands. Some guy at my school even called me a wannabe cyber-goth because I mixed black with some green, and I didn't know a lot of cyber bands. Just be honest to yourself and thik about what you really want and if you have made a decission just go for it.
Don't care about what other people think. I've done that far too long, it has held me back for years.
PS: Lolita style is a great idea if you are not very tall. You have thought about it well.
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Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 5:21 pm
I was the same way, for a while. I secretly was obsessed with gothic things and the makeup, the fishnets, ect... I've always been obsessed with vampires. I couldn't just come out as a goth, though. I think my mom would disown me.
I feel the same way. Number one, I just can't dye my hair. Or replace everything in my wardrobe with black. I wish I could dress like a vampire or something like that, but I just can't go to school like that as much as I wish I could.
I know the feeling, too. Lots of new goths get called posers... but I can tell you something. The ones calling people posers are usually the posers. Real goths don't care that much unless the person is a blatant poser, which you don't seem to be.
One day, I tried going to school with all black, eyeliner, goth hairdo, ect... the whole way to school I worried. Would people take one look at me and think 'She's a goth? Why do I hang around her anyway?' But the truth of the matter is when I got to school, people barely even noticed. And the people who did didn't care that much.
In a way I guess every goth has 'ungothic traits'. I have heavy metal, emo, punk, progressive metal, hard rock, ect on my ipod... but I also have two songs from DDR. Yeah. I do. Heh heh...
Here's my advice on the makeup thing. I practiced the makeup for hours straight and used up lots of makeup remover. But if you just practice long enough, eventually you'll get it right. Just keep lots of makeup remover handy.
Don't worry too much about being pale. Vampiristic goths and Victorian goths usually are the only ones who feel the need to be very pale, but you don't have to make your face pale neccessarily. Usually only very hardcore goths will change their face color.
I also have the same problem with being small and child-looking. Most people look at me and think I look too innocent to be dark or morbid. The best thing to do in that circumstance, I guess, is to do a Loli child goth type thing.
In a way, I think you might be a truer goth than lots of goths out there. Many goths can't go goth for various reasons... so if I were you, I wouldn't feel wrong. I don't think there's such a thing as 'not cut out to be goth', becuase goth is really about just being yourself.
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Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 11:02 pm
AnimebunnyXD
Or replace everything in my wardrobe with black AnimebunnyXD The only difference between us and other kids is that we wear black... AnimebunnyXD Most of the time we're just people who like black... Have a bit of a... fascination with that color (and generalization), don'cha?
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-Resurrected Writer- Crew
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 1:10 am
Thank so much for your input guys! I really do appreciate it.
I believe I will think over that lolita idea, it sounds more 'me'
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Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 7:05 pm
"gothic traits"
hmm...
well i dunno about those
i dont have a lot of "gothic" clothes and usually wear these (ugly) hand-me-downs
when people ask me wtf i'm wearing i say "laundry day clothes"
thats happens a lot :/
i dyed my hair red. i tried the black dye. it just didnt work. but my grandmother made me get it professionally done. its brown again.
as for music... well i listen to every genre (except rap... xp ugh kill me now)
i dunno what gothic traits are. i dont wear black all the time. i dont listen to just metal and rock and variants of those.
i do, however, find the loligoth look very cute and am very intrigued by it. but until i make my own clothes i wont have much in the way of that.
i also think for myself and dont give a damn about what people think of me.
but, idk. if you didnt know me... (and none of you really do) you probly wouldn't take me for goth straightaway.
yea, i do the eyeliner and all that crap.
but, somehow all my friends (even the goth ones) have come to the conclusion i'm goth. so, maybe i am.
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