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 Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 7:32 am
Sharp and dark,
a moon run silver glances spears
through an arctic sea of stars.
Passing intense beams, leaping in cold energy.
Wind quivers with the ancient songs
they spake of cold.
they spake of the imminent surge for survival in fatal paradise.
they remembered the reality of living.
Pale and liquid,
an orb of melting snow, the moon condenses into a quiet tear
and driblles slush through a warming mist of defiled light.
running in broken rivulets, weeping in desperation
Breezes whisper what is new
They speak of warmth
They speak of the imminent destruction from an army of heat
They see the reality of dying.
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Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 5:36 pm
Quite nice!
You had me thinking how romantic and sweet this creative work is. Instantly I had become overwhelmed with romantic ideas of the winds, the moon`s powers in any season, and the beauty of raindrops. Just as you had my complete attention you pulled the plug. ( Tee hee hee) I loved it when you pulled the plug and turned the entire work into a statement of enviromental significance and issues facing humanity.
Lovely piece of poetry.
If I may suggest that a good proof reading be done and the use of a spellchecker may come in handy. Your words are truly lovely but parts would benefit from a minor tweaking.
Thank you, for your kindness of sharing.
Sincerely....
.......................WindWhisperer wink
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WildWildWindWhisperer Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 12:09 pm
I thank you from the bottom of my imagined soul for the input
If a small one like me may ask, what reformations does this piece require? Though a miniscule rambling such as this one does indeed need certain tweaks to transform ints imperfections, one such as I who has extraordinary amounts of fluff for brains cannot think, and begs (*begs*) for help.
(have a cookie)
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 10:21 am
ashinai I thank you from the bottom of my imagined soul for the input If a small one like me may ask, what reformations does this piece require? Though a miniscule rambling such as this one does indeed need certain tweaks to transform ints imperfections, one such as I who has extraordinary amounts of fluff for brains cannot think, and begs (*begs*) for help. (have a cookie) **** I humbly and gratefully take the cookie you offer. ( Yumm) " So delicious!"
The tweaks that I feel that could be rendered are simply using a spellchecker for proper spelling and punctuation. Other than that it`s wonderful. At least from my piont of view it is.
Now! I have an issue with something that you have said.
Please..please never ever under estimate your lovely gift of writing and other personal talents. We all can accomplish much and contribute with our gifts/talents in this world. So, there is no such things as "fluff for brains". If it were possible I shall not permit anyone to be so unkind. Especially, to themselves. We each are imperfect, have bad days, do things we just simply shake our heads over, and get brain freeze. These things are what makes us each wonderful. (Personally, lil ole me has brain freeze almost daily.). Tee hee hee . Plus, perfection is over rated....tee hee hee wink
Thank you for your time and kindness!
Sincerely....
.....................WildWildWindWhisperer wink
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WildWildWindWhisperer Vice Captain
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