Marriage Proposal

[Tzsche]

I think this fits here, since some of us is on the age that (real life) marriage is actually considered as an option.. or already in one xd
if you have experience with them you'd like to tell, please share 3nodding

....
um, me
someone, a (casual, online, but lives in neighbouring city, know each other's face etc) friend who I haven't had contact with for months, proposed to me yesterday
well, this is the first time someone did that with me .. very much opposing the possibility (well, no, but this tops the WTF-factor since it's out of the blue). I sent a message to him basically saying "please tell me you sent that to the wrong person. or drunk. or both."

he replied today and said he's still dead serious.

.. uh. just ignore the message altogether and act as if I never received it ? stare I wonder if there's a more 'adult' way to deal with it.. or I shouldn't even bother trying to act my age..
(kinda hoping he hasn't received my reply yesterday and would get the picture when he does domokun )  

[Archangel Lionheart]

Never did the online thing. Proposals were thrown around a lot in high school (which always pissed me off, I take it seriously). I've proposed once, after I graduated boot. I guess you could say I did it twice since I did it formally with the ring in front of our families that Christmas. Its a long messed up story why that one didn't work. I need to write a new one soon though. I plan on proposing on All Hallows' Eve. Sounds kind of morbid or childish, but it will be one to remember. And yes, each time including the one to come, was in person. I feel that thats how it should be considering what it is.  

[Seeress]

Yup, ditto to what Pirate said... I would think that either he's joking with you (because I always tend to think that people are joking when they do stuff like that), or he's somewhat delusional. If it's the latter case, then there might not be anything you can do to not hurt his feelings, but being adult about it is the most painless thing to do.

Archangel, I think proposing on Halloween would be nifty. But then, I have a house full of skeletons, do a Nightmare Before Christmas tree every year, and have been known to spend Valentine's Day with my man in a cemetery, so I might have a slightly skewed perception. xd  

[Archangel Lionheart]

Seeress

Yup, ditto to what Pirate said... I would think that either he's joking with you (because I always tend to think that people are joking when they do stuff like that), or he's somewhat delusional. If it's the latter case, then there might not be anything you can do to not hurt his feelings, but being adult about it is the most painless thing to do.

Archangel, I think proposing on Halloween would be nifty. But then, I have a house full of skeletons, do a Nightmare Before Christmas tree every year, and have been known to spend Valentine's Day with my man in a cemetery, so I might have a slightly skewed perception. xd

well, we are kind of the goth crowd. I had to give my clothes up when my command freaked out (someone saw me in town and of course I was out of uniform...)



I wish I had a pic of her putting on my dress whites...  

[Seeress]

Heh, then proposing on Halloween should probably go over quite well. You might try trolling for your lady friend's opinion on the matter, but I think sunsets in cemetaries are very romantic. wink

Sadly enough, I suppose, neither my man nor I are goths, although I have a lot of goth friends. We're nerds, through and through. But he likes to make props and replicas... and he's been working on a haunted house walkthrough for a couple of years. So I have skeletons in my living room, skulls on my fireplace mantle, dungeon walls in my library, and coffins in my garage. I ACTUALLY have skeletons in my closet, since we stuck a bunch in there to get them out of the way until Halloween. xd  

[AntoniaMerEnfant]

Honestly, if he wanted to propose right he would do it in person. I mean you said he lived in a neighboring city right? Then he ought to be able to swing transport over there if he's serious.

Be honest with him, don't be harsh, but be firm. Let him know you're declining, but not because he's some horrid fellow, just that the situation doesn't feel right to you. Marriage is something life long (or was intended to be lol) it's something that shouldn't be rushed or done on a whim. And you've got to make the proposal something.

My ex proposed to me in my dorm room so he could get out of work at taco bell for the evening... and gee wiz, we are't together anymore.

-looks over at cupid's corpse still lying on the forum floor- this is still very discouraging... I really do think romance is dead. I mean cupid hasn't moved or breathed for over a week!  

[Mars Barrex]

I once said something about a tale of grief and woe regarding a prievious online relationship? =P

My dearest Cecelia, once known on Gaia as Zo', was once engaged to be married to me, on Gaia. We had fallen in love on Gaia and when the gold and silver promise rings had been released I sent her a gold one as a token of my love. She misinterpretated this as a marriage proposal and I went along with it. I loved her, I loved her more than anything, marriage was in no way a mistake or a bad thing. So, I sent a proper message, a proper proposal. She was over the moon, delighted, she felt the same way I did...

A mutual friend of ours was going to arrange it, I bought a wedding outfit (remarkably geeky, I know, but at the time I was hopelessly in love, it all seemed right) and a working date had been established. All of our friends from our home forum and guilds were invited, it was to be the most awesome thing ever to happen to me on Gaia. I had fallen in love and the whole world was going to know...

However, the date kept getting postponed. I had told her we could do it whenever she was ready, I didn't want her to feel rushed. I even gave her 40k so she could pick an entire outfit in one go. But the date kept getting pushed forward...

I hadn't the courage to broach the subject myself but the reasons soon presented themselves later. I was being betrayed, she was seeing another guy on Gaia (and a girl in real life). I was rapidly becoming a lower priority in her life. The day she told me we should put it off because she 'wasn't sure' I should have known.

When she left Gaia while I was out of the country and beyond contact, she sold all of her items except for the gold promise ring. Perhaps she has a shred of humanity in her yet.

Edit: I got it wrong. She did sell the ring. That hurts. Unforgivable.

Needless to say, I won't be trying that again for a good while xP

 

[Cult movies ftw]

I wouldn't know. My x proposed to me during sex. Things went well then I found out he was cheating on me thorughout the relationship to the point where I think I was the "other woman".  

[Archangel Lionheart]

I_Love_The_Bunny

I wouldn't know. My x proposed to me during sex. Things went well then I found out he was cheating on me thorughout the relationship to the point where I think I was the "other woman".

I feel your pain.  

[Cult movies ftw]

Archangel Lionheart

I_Love_The_Bunny

I wouldn't know. My x proposed to me during sex. Things went well then I found out he was cheating on me thorughout the relationship to the point where I think I was the "other woman".

I feel your pain.

Life's a b***h sometimes.