Seeking counsel in matters of love

[[Shall.We.Blaspheme]]

This has been a fixation of mine ever since I was a little boy, I was jealous of other peoples relationships I witnessed because I never formed any. I wasn't a shy kid, I was actually more outgoing and exstatic, which I guess was awkward for some people.

19 years in, almost 20, and i'm still not involved in a relationship. I can't really figure out why, and it causes me the most distress in my life. I was hoping the friendly advice of some Scadians could help me break out of my bad luck.

Physically, Im fairly tall, 5'11", I eat like a bird and I exercise plenty (I unload trucks for a living) and Im a heavy fighter, so I have good solid muscles. I have, in my own description, a kind face. I like my nose, I have brown hair, green eyes, and usually keep a well trimmed beard and moustache. I have good hygiene, and I dress well most of the time.

As for my personality, I speak clearly and cleanly, I'm verbose, with a generous knowledge of the english language. I've dabbled in poetry of many types, written stories, and songs. I play the pipe organ, respect and deeply love both my father, and mother. I make an honest living doing hard work, and I'm a friendly guy (As Llelwyn will tell you!) I like to think I can be sexy, and i'm definately passionate.

I can speak in a Scottish accent, I have a wordly mind and I keep up to date on current events, I drive and pay for my own vehicle, and I have plans for college in the future. I don't use drugs, and I don't steal. I was raised on chivalry by my father, who is a Knight in the S.C.A. and a former Drill Sgt in the Army.

I have a good sense of humor, I think smile And I like to express that often.

I can't really tell why im single, other than that I may be trying too hard, but to be honest, in the last year and a half, my efforts towards finding a lady have taken a drastic decline, as I've seen fit to really s**t myself off from that aspect of life, it depresses me so I've blocked it out.

Any help would be appreciated.  

[Dragostae]

We've talked about this quite a bit, I think.

Perhaps, my dear, it is lack of patience.

Sometimes, it's a matter of letting that woman waltz into your life, and it always happens when you least expect it.

So stop expecting it! razz  

[north_of_nita]

Im with Dragostae just relaxe about it. You sound like a really nice guy, and trust me I know what your going through. If you think about it to much things will end up all wrong, I think WAY to much most of the time and its a wonder Im able to keep a relationship. The absilute worst part is once you find someone and get into a relationship people you never thought about start to come out and say they like you or even love you, it really starts to mess with your mind. Ive personaly been in 3 realationships, the first was with my bestfriend and we ended up breaking up cause she wouldnt stop flirting with EVERY guy out there, the one after that was kinda bad cause he wouldnt let me breath. As for the one Im in right now, Im very content, even if I do over think it to much. Hopefully you will find someone, all I have to say(after all that) is to be yourself, dont try to hard and relax.  

[Mistress DragonFlame]

Hm, you could just be creepy. No, seriously. There are some guys out there that don't look wrong, act wrong, or anything, but they just naturally repell women because they're creepy!

But, from what I've read, you do seem like a good guy. I'd give it a go. I love a man who can speak in an Scottish accent.

Maybe broaden your horizens abit; go for girls you haven't before.  

[[Shall.We.Blaspheme]]

Mistress DragonFlame

Hm, you could just be creepy. No, seriously. There are some guys out there that don't look wrong, act wrong, or anything, but they just naturally repell women because they're creepy!

But, from what I've read, you do seem like a good guy. I'd give it a go. I love a man who can speak in an Scottish accent.

Maybe broaden your horizens abit; go for girls you haven't before.

I was hoping I wouldn't have to look below sea level.  

[Mistress DragonFlame]

[Shall.We.Blaspheme]

I was hoping I wouldn't have to look below sea level.

That might be part of your problem; you've not gone for more then a very small section of girls.

And, you don't have to 'look below sea level'. I'm saying you could go for different girls, not fugly ones.

Beggers can't be choosers.  

[Anghared Starwing]

Speaking as a Lady in the SCA, who didn't find someone until I was 22, I know it's difficult. Forming a lasting relationship is probably the hardest thing anyone can do. Truthfully, I think that you may attract more attention than you realize. I know that if I had met you when I was single, I probably would have liked what I saw, but would have been too shy to approach you. Even most of the 'outgoing' ladies I know generally let the guy decide if he wants to start something, and still wonder why they aren't getting anywhere. I started dating by deciding that I wasn't getting anywhere by letting the gentlemen decide, so I asked him out. (At fight practice while giving him a shoulder rub. Is that cheating?) So don't be too discouraged. If you see someone you think you'd be interested in, make a move. I know at least two people who began their relationships because of cloved fruit!  

[[Shall.We.Blaspheme]]

This is good information. I'll have to keep that in mind.  

[Kiddo Seanchain]

Because people are idiots. Just go around and ask any girl you find remotely interesting out on a date. Let them know it's just a get-to-know-you kind of thing, no commitment, one date only type deal. And see what happens. Expect lots of rejections and losers.

Frankly, there aren't enough guys asking girls out in our age-group. I think the lot of us need to take a nice healthy dope-slap to the back of the head to get ourselves out of this "2 dates = practically engaged" bullshit.

Sorry. Personal rant of mine.

Anyways, don't look for lasting relationships right off the bat - that scares girls off faster than anything else - but just look for someone you enjoy being with and can relax and feel normal around. Worry about the rest later.

Also, don't think of yourself as a 'catch'. I remember one guy that all he did was bewail how females weren't attracted to him and how much he wanted a relationship like he was ENTITLED to one. The girls around him all felt like he looked at us like objects as a result and hated his guts, myself included. (I think he's the only one my roomies didn't call me off on when I threatened to beat him up) So don't ever think females should be going out with you because that attitude may unconciously influence how you act. Remember, female intuition can be very accurate sometimes and pick up on the slightest stuff.  

[Dragostae]

Kiddo the fox-phoenix

Because people are idiots. Just go around and ask any girl you find remotely interesting out on a date. Let them know it's just a get-to-know-you kind of thing, no commitment, one date only type deal. And see what happens. Expect lots of rejections and losers.

Frankly, there aren't enough guys asking girls out in our age-group. I think the lot of us need to take a nice healthy dope-slap to the back of the head to get ourselves out of this "2 dates = practically engaged" bullshit.

Sorry. Personal rant of mine.

Anyways, don't look for lasting relationships right off the bat - that scares girls off faster than anything else - but just look for someone you enjoy being with and can relax and feel normal around. Worry about the rest later.

Also, don't think of yourself as a 'catch'. I remember one guy that all he did was bewail how females weren't attracted to him and how much he wanted a relationship like he was ENTITLED to one. The girls around him all felt like he looked at us like objects as a result and hated his guts, myself included. (I think he's the only one my roomies didn't call me off on when I threatened to beat him up) So don't ever think females should be going out with you because that attitude may unconciously influence how you act. Remember, female intuition can be very accurate sometimes and pick up on the slightest stuff.

YES.

Agreed.

I dated a gentle (who I'll be thankful for for intro'ing me to the Society) who was this way, and even though he swore he wasn't a catch, he also had a way about him that he knew that he could out think anyone.

And that I had a problem with.

That, and he didn't respect what I believed in, and I had an issue with that, too.