Welcome to Gaia! ::

Hey, just letting you know that my hunter's going by the name of Lex, and he's pretty well known, so you may want to consider changing your character's name to avoid any confusion! smile

Approval pert things~!


Looks good for most part, however the history/reason is no-go :C

Hunters come from exceptionally normal backgrounds, and often struggle with their ability to see shadows. A person who's family is littered with suicides is certainly possible, however the level which is described is alarming and would have been an exceptionally well documented part and cautionary point for Von's entire life-at the first signs of any form of mental instability or possible depression, he would have been tested and if not outright put on medication.

That said, without knowing where Von was raised, it would not be possible that he would have been able to visit bars or cabaret theaters.
His hunter recruitment is also slightly odd- Hunter recruitment is often done when someone is at their lowest true, but the person wouldn't be a 'regular' at an airport diner as hunters use portals. They might approach and make small talk and manipulate the conversation, but the phasing here comes off as if they spent many days on site- hunter recruitment is mostly done covert, and very much in a manner to manipulate the situation to get a person to agree.

I would suggest toning down the exceptionalism of the suicides and keep in mind, if your hunter had a 'linage', they would have also have been recruited once 18 or older. The 'breeding program' was only a thing shortly lived in the past generation of hunters. For a line to exist, children would have been conceived/born logically prior to a hunter's recruitment prior the last generation.

FEAR attack: The injuries would just need to be existing ones/ones not yet healed for this to work. Can't magically open old scars and such is all so just clarify on this.

Not approval pert: Just keep in mind when he gets his urumi that he will likely be hurting himself a LOT due to it's exceptionally dangerous level of self harm and the required training needed to effectively wield!

That said if you have and questions or need help just ping~!

Hello Vamps,

Thanks for the crit! Here's a list of changes:

• Rewrote hunter reason
  
• Clarified FEAR ability

For the eye colour, I am getting mixed signals from other TiH documentation. This source was what I used to fill out the profile. It states:

Hunters are 100% human, and thus have human features. No wings, claws, etc. are allowed for Hunter characters! Skin colors must be in the natural range; hair/eye color can be any color of the rainbow!

It does not state a requirement for hair dye or contacts to achieve unnatural colors. Skin color is the only noted feature controlled for in the natural range. Is this information outdated? Was it supposed to specify only natural hair and eye color unless augmented with dye/contacts? Please advise, and if necessary, I will change the color.

The form itself its mostly intended for the use of artists- as a GM however, it's just my job to make sure it's both understood and acknowledged that under that unnatural hair or eye color, there is a normal human eye/hair color. A lot of hunters wear colored contacts for whatever reason, just as many dye their hair, (in fact, most trainees often suffer a month or three of the dreaded nude roots which is actually pretty fun to rp around).

So again, they might not actually be gold, but wearing colored contacts is perfectly fine - so his art can/will have him with gold eyes. Sorry if I wasn't very clear on that.

//Deus Ex Machina Entry Form xx.xx.xx

//Name:
//Gender:
// Entry level: Trainee
//Status: Rapunzel
//Clearance: Approved for entry
(( OOC: Don't forget to drop off certs HERE ))