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 Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 3:47 am
my counsellor said that i blame myself, it's hard to disagree, i dont know how to stop blaming myself. im sick of relying to other people to make me happy but in the end they just leave me, my friend doesnt understand how much i feel pressured to stop being friends. im tired of crying every night because im tired so tired for pretending to be happy, my counseller suggested i should talk to kids helpline but i don't want to rely on others to make me feel better, in the end everyone would be sick with dealing with me and get annoyed with me so i just stay quiet, i try to say something to everyone about my reasons but they don't understand, if i cry randomly at class, my friends just stay quiet, they don't do anything, they say they care but they don't, and when my other friend cries they just hug her and comforts her, compared to me because theyre used to me crying all the time. one of my friends said i make it look like theyre the problem, but i just want someone to blame so i can feel better. i keep losing friends and in the end i just cry until my head stops hurting because im scared of being alone, i want someone to care and i keep telling myself to stop being greedy so i just slap my hand away from what i want. i think about suicide atleast once a day, maybe more and it makes me feel better. I know im a p***y, people are experiencing worse than me but this is me, not them, both are completely different.
just give me advice because i need someone to slap some sense into me.
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 4:04 am
I'm going to start off by saying that the people on helplines want to do just that, help. You aren't going to effect that desire of theirs, regardless if you pick up and call them or not, they will always be there, ready to listen and talk.
Depression is never easy to deal with. And especially when it is fueled by such self destructive tendencies that just leaves the pieces scattered again. Trust me, I know.
Some things I will recommend.... Talk to people on here, gaia has a fairly nice group of folks. I work nights, so I'm on in the afternoon and mornings, perfect for out of schoolish hours.
Also, breathe a moment and try to take a step out of situations. You are not always at fault. I'm not saying blame others, but really, the world works in mysterious ways.
Anyone who feels like you are pinning your own negativity on them for their sake is a moron and is so self absorbed that they cannot see pain, whatever form it takes. That, or they choose not to. Either way, a friend lost, only leaves room for more.
You are not a p***y, you are a person who is struggling with a very real social and emotional beat down. Time, people to talk with, hobbies, and personal thought/work, will help bring some clarity and confidence back. Sure, you may still have a rough day here or there, but I know you will be able to function with more normality.
=)
and seriously, pm me anytime, ok? I won't run away. I'm here on the daily.
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 10:17 am
"To the one I love..
You blame yourself because it is -partly- your fault, and you're well-aware of this. I don't like sugarcoating the truth, because I trust that you're intelligent and willing enough to overcome your predicament while having all the facts or opinions laid out. I fully agree that you should create your own happiness. If you can't do that, you'll always be on shaky ground, and when you're miserable, you'll have an even harder time finding comfort in people. When you're crying all the time, people get used to it and it naturally seems like less of an issue.
My advice is that you need to find yourself and create stable ground to stand on. When you have yourself in order, you can then start thinking about forming lasting bonds with other people. Just tell your friends that you need some time to yourself, they will understand. Then pool some money together and go away somewhere alone. A place where you can think about your own problems. You bear the ultimate responsibility for yourself, so you need to be the person who takes best care of you.
Start making goals. What do you want to do with your life?
Also, don't reply on COUNSELING. They will just tell you what you want to hear so you can continue to be depressed and continue to come back every week. You are their paycheck. Of course he is going to say passive stuff like "you blame yourself."
Start doing things that make YOU feel better. Don't rely on ANYONE ELSE because all you have in this life is YOU. Start doing s**t. Get hobbies, ******** go see movies, anything. And who cares if you are going by yourself or some s**t. Eventually you will realize that people do not pay attention to you and you find out that you can basically do anything because those people don't know you, they won't continue to know you, and you don't know them.
It turns into freedom.
I hope this helped.
..prepare to die."
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 9:59 pm
Chewyness "To the one I love..
You blame yourself because it is -partly- your fault, and you're well-aware of this. I don't like sugarcoating the truth, because I trust that you're intelligent and willing enough to overcome your predicament while having all the facts or opinions laid out. I fully agree that you should create your own happiness. If you can't do that, you'll always be on shaky ground, and when you're miserable, you'll have an even harder time finding comfort in people. When you're crying all the time, people get used to it and it naturally seems like less of an issue.
My advice is that you need to find yourself and create stable ground to stand on. When you have yourself in order, you can then start thinking about forming lasting bonds with other people. Just tell your friends that you need some time to yourself, they will understand. Then pool some money together and go away somewhere alone. A place where you can think about your own problems. You bear the ultimate responsibility for yourself, so you need to be the person who takes best care of you.
Start making goals. What do you want to do with your life?
Also, don't reply on COUNSELING. They will just tell you what you want to hear so you can continue to be depressed and continue to come back every week. You are their paycheck. Of course he is going to say passive stuff like "you blame yourself."
Start doing things that make YOU feel better. Don't rely on ANYONE ELSE because all you have in this life is YOU. Start doing s**t. Get hobbies, ******** go see movies, anything. And who cares if you are going by yourself or some s**t. Eventually you will realize that people do not pay attention to you and you find out that you can basically do anything because those people don't know you, they won't continue to know you, and you don't know them.
It turns into freedom.
I hope this helped.
..prepare to die."
Thank you so much for helping and the advice, I kind of understand but the only way I feel better is when I'm arrogant and I don't tend to be arrogant. I guess I'll just wait for a while and think for myself and what I want. The counsellors arent helping at all, i kind of know what to do, he said that I have lots of people to rely on but honestly there isn't any. Thank you for pointing out some things I never thought of, it has really helped me, all the counsellor does is ask questions instead of helping.
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 10:07 pm
The Ariadelle I'm going to start off by saying that the people on helplines want to do just that, help. You aren't going to effect that desire of theirs, regardless if you pick up and call them or not, they will always be there, ready to listen and talk. Depression is never easy to deal with. And especially when it is fueled by such self destructive tendencies that just leaves the pieces scattered again. Trust me, I know. Some things I will recommend.... Talk to people on here, gaia has a fairly nice group of folks. I work nights, so I'm on in the afternoon and mornings, perfect for out of schoolish hours. Also, breathe a moment and try to take a step out of situations. You are not always at fault. I'm not saying blame others, but really, the world works in mysterious ways. Anyone who feels like you are pinning your own negativity on them for their sake is a moron and is so self absorbed that they cannot see pain, whatever form it takes. That, or they choose not to. Either way, a friend lost, only leaves room for more. You are not a p***y, you are a person who is struggling with a very real social and emotional beat down. Time, people to talk with, hobbies, and personal thought/work, will help bring some clarity and confidence back. Sure, you may still have a rough day here or there, but I know you will be able to function with more normality. =) and seriously, pm me anytime, ok? I won't run away. I'm here on the daily.
Thank you, yeah gaia is basically my 2nd life, I guess it helps me forget some things and people here are kind of supportive, even if I ask for advice, and get some back, I just forget along the way, thank you for taking your time to reply to my thread, it really means a lot to me to know someone is here to listen, haha I will, for now I guess I'll just write things down and solve it myself. Thank you
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 10:50 pm
Despite what someone said above, seriously reach out to a helpline and go see a proper psychologist or even a psychiatrist. I dealt with depression for a long time, and it wasnt until later I realized it was a sickness as opposed to a state of mind. Even though I seem to have outgrown it in my 20s, I still wish I knew people who could help push me towards getting help as opposed to trying to rely on friends or fixing it myself.
And the counselor isn't simply telling you what you want to hear, he/she has been trained to deal with people in your situation, so they are relying on an educational basis. It could simply be the theory or methods the counselor uses does not work for you. Ive studied a bit of psychology and I found there are many approaches to dealing with therapy, and I imagine thats just scratching the surface.
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Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 7:46 am
Whatever you choose to do, just remember that suicide is a permanent decision for a temporary situation. You don't get get to come back five months later when everything would have been happier, so don't be so hasty to blow out the candle.
Beyond that, I'm sorry to say that I can't offer much else, as I don't understand the situation well enough. I hope this helps.
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 2:27 pm
Try staying away from suicide don't do it
Chris and Chester just committed suicide don't do it please
There is much more in the world
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