A prayer is needed for myself and my child

I know some might disagree but ide gladly die for telling what i'm about to say
to this fellowship.
God WILL BARGAIN, if and only if your intentions revolve around him, with purest intent and love

That being said...
I want to tell you my story... My very own biblical accounts...-i use this word losely-
Not that ide ever suggest it be added as the bible is not to be altered in any way... nor am I important enough. so please by all means take this as a personal account and nothing more.
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Things to know about me.
I am spiritual:
I am...missrably hopeful when all hope seems dead:
Ive always been alone without ever being alone:
I am... different from alot of people:
When I was 1 my family split...
My dad was a drunk and an abuser till my mom left him and he got weekend visits, then he became a manipulator, a terrorist, a beater, a child molester, and 1 out of 2 people I wish I didn't still love.
I was 21 when I finally told my mother what had happened, and how his wife not only beat me but assisted him in ...restraining me during inappropriateness. So, needless to say he got away with the crime, and I ...am damaged, badly irreversibly damaged.
I grew up godless in knowledge but, I could always hear a voice from the sun that soothed me and gave me hope to keep going. Ironically I knew what a soul was! but that was all I knew, and I knew all things had one but, not the same as people. People could dream and think forward of what could be...all decided by what drives them and their own freedom of will. This I knew, always.

I was a child no one wanted... I reminded my mother of the pain, I was used as a weapon by my father to get at her...I did not know better. My mother a godless and strict woman always barked orders ate be and not once have I ever heard her say "I love you"
I felt like a chore she had to keep at her side to maintain her honor, nothing more. I soon found parents, with the animals we kept or that I observed in day to day life. I learned to speak their words by the way they moved. To make matters worse I was a PLEAGUE to the children at my school, My desperation for love and companionship as well as my father inappropriate teaching made me, an undesirable friend.
So... when they offered me to come to a pool party you can imagine how happy I must have been. "Somebody likes me rite?"
while I was there they dunked me under the water and held me down till they figured out I was dead. I assume I must have been dead for a while because the adult standing over me crying started to panic when I sat up.

I have been told many times by the children who witnessed it, that my eyes had gone to a full color of black and that even the whites of my eyes had gone black. After this event I began to have unnatural urges like... craving the taste of blood. I would sit in my room and injured myself on..random things, toys even just to make a spot so that I could taste it.

It is my belief that to this day I had brought back a demon within me.
I digress

After this event I started to become a monster, tormenting creatures for fun, saying nasty things to people, I even burned down someones house..it was empty thank the lord. I was invited to several churches at that point and became...physically ill when near a preacher/ holy man/woman. I could not enter into the church building itself or be around anyone who...for the lack of a better word...-Appeared to be cleansed.- It angered me and frightened me. Eventually I managed to lock away the THING that I had brought back with me. I again craved affection...kindness, and feared it too.

By this point I had become afraid of myself, having used witchcraft as a means to sate my hunger for something spiritual to fill the void this earth had left in me.
One day while sitting out on my stepmothers parents farm -in the field mind you- I prayed to a nameless person I had always known was there, and I wept until I felt different. Suddenly my world became colorful again, the innocence I had stolen from me seemed to seep back into my body, and life. Soon I began to see the same colorlessness in my mother and so I prayed for my poor atheist and tormented mother who had to raise...the creature that evil man had placed in her belly with words of false love.

I wanted to share this newness with my mom. (TIME SKIP)

age 20, im a pregnant dieing CHRISTIAN woman being rushed to another city because they have better medicine. I ceasure several times on the way up and die "yet again" on the operating table. while in the darkness I felt hand pulling me down, I heard chains rattle though I couldn't see a thing.
I tell god that I would forfeit my life and soul to save the baby.
I LITERALLY HEARD 10000000000% "That is the rights answer." and the hands let go and I was waking up in the recovery room.

as or recent I have SEEN AN ANGEL, and had a vision. my mother is to raise my child and through him she is to have her faith renewed and her soul saved.

we are currently awaiting the courts decision on the adoption, so please for the sake of my mothers tormented immortal soul I need your prayers for this to go through.
thats all I ask.

if you have any questions about anything ive said or you want to know what happened inbetween or more detail, please feel free to PM me.