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 Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2013 5:47 pm
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Just to start this off: I know we aren't supposed to date Atheists, and through past relationships I know why we aren't. But I've kind of gotten myself into a situation, and would like some advice, and not criticism.
Anyways, the guy I'm with right now is an Atheist, but he is very knowledgeable about Christianity and knows how important my religion is to me. Some of his friends are Christians and have been trying to get him to go to church for years and he never would, until today. He actually wanted to go to church with me, and it made me really happy and it made his Christian friends really happy as well.
He said he really liked the songs and the message and we even got into a discussion about the message (which I thought might strike a chord with him because it was about how many people choose not to believe in God just because of bad things happening to them.) Sadly, though, there wasn't much beyond that.
I really don't want to break up with him because I do really like him, but mainly because I care too much to leave him. I'm the only person who has actually been able to influence him to go to church since he was a kid, and if I stay in his life I can influence him further than that. He even admitted to me that since he doesn't believe in anything, he feels dead inside. So I don't want to leave him if I can actually be an influence for him.
And I know the reason that dating Atheists never works for Christians is that you kind of feel like you can't grow in your faith, and I have been feeling that. Whenever I date Christians we go to church together and do Bible studies together and stuff like that, and just grow in our faith together and I miss that. So it's really confusing...being stuck between not growing in my faith if I stay with him, but I'm afraid of no longer being an influence on him if I leave him.
So, overall, I know it's not right dating an Atheist and that a lot of Christians look down on me for it, but I am afraid that if I leave him, I won't have as much influence on him as I do now. I don't wanna force him to believe what I believe in, but...I dunno, I just want his life to be better. I don't want him to go through life with nothing to hope for and feel "dead inside" as he puts it. He says I make him happy, but I know he needs something more.
So...any advice? Sorry this was really long, I just have a lot on my mind. >.<
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Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 7:33 pm
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ih8authority Just to start this off: I know we aren't supposed to date Atheists, and through past relationships I know why we aren't. But I've kind of gotten myself into a situation, and would like some advice, and not criticism. Anyways, the guy I'm with right now is an Atheist, but he is very knowledgeable about Christianity and knows how important my religion is to me. Some of his friends are Christians and have been trying to get him to go to church for years and he never would, until today. He actually wanted to go to church with me, and it made me really happy and it made his Christian friends really happy as well. He said he really liked the songs and the message and we even got into a discussion about the message (which I thought might strike a chord with him because it was about how many people choose not to believe in God just because of bad things happening to them.) Sadly, though, there wasn't much beyond that. I really don't want to break up with him because I do really like him, but mainly because I care too much to leave him. I'm the only person who has actually been able to influence him to go to church since he was a kid, and if I stay in his life I can influence him further than that. He even admitted to me that since he doesn't believe in anything, he feels dead inside. So I don't want to leave him if I can actually be an influence for him. And I know the reason that dating Atheists never works for Christians is that you kind of feel like you can't grow in your faith, and I have been feeling that. Whenever I date Christians we go to church together and do Bible studies together and stuff like that, and just grow in our faith together and I miss that. So it's really confusing...being stuck between not growing in my faith if I stay with him, but I'm afraid of no longer being an influence on him if I leave him. So, overall, I know it's not right dating an Atheist and that a lot of Christians look down on me for it, but I am afraid that if I leave him, I won't have as much influence on him as I do now. I don't wanna force him to believe what I believe in, but...I dunno, I just want his life to be better. I don't want him to go through life with nothing to hope for and feel "dead inside" as he puts it. He says I make him happy, but I know he needs something more. So...any advice? Sorry this was really long, I just have a lot on my mind. >.<
I am sorry about this stressful situation.
I can understand what you are going through. A relationship is very important to anyone and you certainly want your relationship blessed by God. For the strongest relationships are the ones that are centered around Christ. I was in a simular situation and this is what I did: I gave it to God. I knew that any relationship I were in would need to be given to the Lord first, because a relationship not blessed by God just hurts us and gives us deep heartbreak.
I prayed daily for the boy I liked, and gave it all to the Lord. Then I fasted and waited and God showed me that this boy was not for me.
I'm not saying that this boy isn't for you. Only God can tell you that. But what I am telling you is that fasting and praying about it helped me a whole lot.
For in the end, God's choice for us is better than any boy we could ever choose for ourselves.
I'm so glad the Lord showed me that the boy I was with was not for me. God saved me so much unhappiness with that boy. |
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Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 8:26 am
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Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 6:12 pm
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According to the Bible, relationships are super important, and faith does matter. After all, faith lays the foundation for your world views, and world views will control how you see and respond to the world, and that includes relationships.
First, for a historical perspective, let’s look at the Old Testament for a second. Does Old Testament have anything to say about marriages among God’s people and the nonbelievers? Yes it does.
“Furthermore, you shall not intermarry with them; you shall not give your daughters to their sons, nor shall you take their daughters for your sons." Deuteronomy 7:3
“An alien living among you who wants to celebrate the LORD’s Passover must have all the males in his household circumcised; then he may take part like one born in the land. No uncircumcised male may eat of it." Exodus 12:48
The scriptures posted above shows us that our God, even in the Old Testament is quite protective of us, and is very serious about his followers being involved with the people who are not with God.
It is important to keep in mind that when a believer marries a non-believer, it can lead the Christian astray. Look at Solomon, the Bible says his wives turned him towards other false Gods and idols. So even the wise King Solomon made some mistakes in this regard, and it caused him to turn from God.
"For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father." 1 Kings 11:4
The scripture above should be a big red flag to those who think they can marry a nonbeliever and not be effected spiritually by it. The bible says that Soloman was the wisest man around at that time yet he even got caught up in idoaltry.
*Billy Mays Voice* BUT WAIT THERE IS MORE!
The Bible has even more scripture regarding the matter.
"To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?" 1 Corinthians 7: 12-16
"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14 (NIV)
"Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV)
"But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of Godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them." 2 Timothy 3:1-5
From whats posted above it is safe to say that God wants us to limit our associations with nonbelievers. But at the same time we see Paul say that those who are married and are happy should stay married.
So basically If you are a Christian, you have no business dating an unbeliever, or entering into a marriage with a non-Christian. If you are already married, then don’t dissolve the marriage if your spouse is not a Christian, so long as the marriage is okay.
Remember to keep your guard up when dating. If you go on a causal date with someone and you share the word of God and they reject it, then you should not peruse a romantic relationship with that person.
Remember that it is God intentions that we marry a fellow christian and raise up our children in the faith. You cant do this if you are with a nonbeliever.
Since it is clearly stated that being with a nonbeliever in a romantic relationship is against God's idea then yes you need to end this relationship.
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Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 8:45 pm
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Hey, seeing from these responses I know I'm going to be in the minority, but I'm still going to give my opinion any way. Like you, I am a Christian dating an atheist. It can be incredibly confusing, and I think it can be trying at times. In my experience, my relationship has not affected my faith, we don't always agree on subjects, but my opinions and beliefs haven't changed. I'll ask you this though, if you're with him because you really do like and care about him, I'd say go for it, and see how things play out. However, if your faith is being affected then a relationship isn't worth it. Don't stay with him only in hopes that you'll be in influence. If you want to talk more about this, feel free to send me a pm!
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Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 10:32 pm
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So no matter what, you DO need to give this to God and follow what HE says..... So I do agree with the above suggestion to pray and fast.
That being said, dating an atheist can affect more than just your faith. I'm not trying to be rude, but I saw that this was something that was not pointed out.
It is possible that your relationship with this boy, as it is a romantic relationship, may cause other believers to stumble. And that is something that the bible tells us not to do. (See Romans 14:13-23) God's word does not change, regardless of the circumstance-something to also remember.
SO.... Take all these responses to God. Read your bible. Pray about it. Even fast about it.
But in the end, if God tells you you need to break up with this boy, please, I urge you to be obedient. This trial may seem hard now, but I promise, no matter how it goes, God has your best interest at heart- as well as his.
I'll go ahead and pray for you too.
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