My close friends and future room-mates are gay?

[Frostridge]

So two girls I have been close friends with and were planning on moving in together recently came out to me that they are in a relationship with each other for almost 3-4 years. Particularly, one is a transgender while the other is a pansexual. They told me before we moved in officially together so I would not be trapped there (Its the two of them, one of their sisters, and myself that are moving in together.) and to be completely honest with me.

I was very torn because I do not know where I stand on the issue. I do not want to be tolerant simply because society tells me so without justifying it to myself, but at the same time I dont want to ostracize and run away from something I don't fully understand simply because it makes me uncomfortable. (Loving "from a distance" never made much sense to me- too often a cop-out used by Christians to not get personal with "uncleans".)

Both still consider them Christians, we are extremely close, and I love them dearly, they have always made me feel loved and have been the best example of friends that I have ever known. I told them to give me three days to think but quickly realized that it was not something I could just "decide". In the complete honesty we've always shared, I told them that I was not sure how I stood on the issue, whether it was right or wrong and that I was not condoning or agreeing with it simply because I simply could not possibly judge it when I knew so little. But I told them they were my dear friends and if I were to abandon them now, (One of the girl's parents have completely shut off from her, the other is accepting but with disdain) I could not look at myself in the mirror, nor stand before God with a pure conscience. I told them I would give a chance to understand and pray and reflect over it and that if they were uncomfortable with me perhaps not being the most tolerant seeming or too wish-washy, they could leave me both as a friend and roomate. (Words I was terrfied to say.) Basically, that I loved them and even if I didnt agree with them (not saying I do or dont) that I would try to be there for them.

Without missing a beat they quickly reassured me that thats all they wanted from me; was a chance, and even if I didnt come to a conclusion we agreed on, at least I had tried. That my feelings were evident and understood, that I loved them dearly.

So there it is. Im still moving in with them, but I have one nagging guilt; my parents. My mom is a particularly strong traditional christian, though not entirely narrow-minded or as "religiousy" about things as one might think. My father is more open-minded, but still fairly traditional christian. I consider myself neither "modern" nor traditional, but a simple christian with a strong distaste for politics and "religious rules" Im supposed to follow (Like not having piercings, tattoos, or wear different clothes, Not that I necessarily do any of those things, but I dont see a problem with it.). I have always tried to be honest with my parents, but Im terrified that they will judge them even more, or forbid or even denounce me from moving in. (My mom is very much in the belieif that children must be guided by their parents, no matter the age. She is a korean and sometimes can be strict.) I feel like I might tell my dad, but it feels too soon, when even Im still just starting to get used to it.

Your thoughts? *sigh*

And also, prayers for guidance, strength, and reassurance.  

[Blaise-Ingram]

"Basically, that I loved them and even if I didnt agree with them (not saying I do or dont) that I would try to be there for them.

Without missing a beat they quickly reassured me that thats all they wanted from me; was a chance, and even if I didnt come to a conclusion we agreed on, at least I had tried. That my feelings were evident and understood, that I loved them dearly. "


^^^ I think that alone shows you're on the right track. I remember seeing a great meme that featured Jesus saying that the greatest commandment of all is to "Love God, and Love your Neighbor As Yourself", and some guy in the audience asked "What about the gays?", to which Jesus responded (in the meme) "Did I stutter?"

When Jesus said to love your neighbors as yourself, he meant it. He did not stutter. He didn't continue and say "Well, except for ______."
The commandment is simple, and I hope God rewards you for following his commandment. smile

If your parents have any questions or concerns about it, you can refer them to Jesus and what Jesus taught. It's not about being tolerant, it's about loving people for who they are.

That being said, don't let it change your opinion of them or anything. They're normal human beings too, just like everyone else. And I'm sure you'll feel awkward for a while, but don't let it drag you down. C:

Also we agree on the "loving from a distance" B.S., and the idea of "uncleans". In God's eyes, everyone is unclean. It's like everyone is covered in mud, but some Christians like to close their eyes and pretend there's no mud on them, so that they have some kind of excuse to not interact with anyone else in fear of getting dirty. It's ludicrous.

Jesus said "Remove the log in your own eye before you attempt to remove the splinter from your neighbor's."

So yeah, glad you're not one of the goody-two-shoes Christians that sees themselves as clean and infallible and unable to interact with the real world because of it. If you don't fully understand the issue, that's fine. No one ever really will. But these girls can still love Jesus and follow his teachings and love God's word, and be transgender/pansexual/whatever.

Just keep loving and being kind to everyone, like Jesus said. <3  

[Rednal]

You don't need to tell your parents everything... but you can also point out that Christians are encouraged to forgive others' sins, and if you refused to talk to anyone who sinned, then there'd be nobody left to chat with. You can also point out how you acting as a positive role model could inspire them to do better.

Being judgmental... well... usually doesn't help matters any. XD; On the other hand, if you come across as highly tolerant when nobody's being hurt, chances are that they will sincerely appreciate that. Being gay certainly doesn't make someone else a bad person all on its own. At least, not any worse than normal for humanity... so I think you're fine. ^^  

[shinju kumagai]

I don't condone not telling your parents. Your parents should know that you are tolerant to every human in this this world that God created because he called you to love them. I believe if your parents are strong enough Christians they will understand that loving gays is not the same as saying that you think what they do is right. We are all sinners, gays, adulterers, murderers, all of them are the same in God's eyes. Yet he sent Jesus for all of us. That includes your friends. Assure your parents that you do not find this lifestyle a way for yourself, because more often than not they are simply worried that you will fall victim to the same temptations that your friends do. It is more likely that your parents will be much more upset and angry with you if you do not sit down and talk with them about this.  

[shinju kumagai]

Rednal

You don't need to tell your parents everything... but you can also point out that Christians are encouraged to forgive others' sins, and if you refused to talk to anyone who sinned, then there'd be nobody left to chat with. You can also point out how you acting as a positive role model could inspire them to do better.

Being judgmental... well... usually doesn't help matters any. XD; On the other hand, if you come across as highly tolerant when nobody's being hurt, chances are that they will sincerely appreciate that. Being gay certainly doesn't make someone else a bad person all on its own. At least, not any worse than normal for humanity... so I think you're fine. ^^

Please be wary of this. Christians can forgive people for their choices but they cannot absolve these sins. That is between the person who commits the sin and God. Only God can truly forgive them of their sins and that will be on the judgement day. His decision is fully dependent on the individuals actions. So continue to pray that these people will come to know God on a personal level so that they can know his perfect love which is more powerful than the love between man and man or woman and woman or even a man and a woman.  

[hafunny]

So, your decision to love them anyways is great.
James 2:10
"For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it."

So pretty much, it doesn't matter our sin, it's all the same. It still separates us from God.

Which does bring me to my next point....... I'm not sure if you have already decided on the issue or are still working it out, but make sure you seek out God fervently and His word. You can always still love them and be close to them, but it is important that whatever your stance is, that it is clear. (So yeah, moving... Unless it's causing you to stumble in your walk with God, that's cool. )

Please remember that any sin still separates us from God and what He has planned for us. Once we are saved and have the holy spirit, we can never have that taken away... However, if you are shown two paths and God tells you to take the right.... While no matter the path God will still walk with you, choosing the path that He did not tell you to take is disobedience and therefore sin. Yes He will walk with you, yes, He will ALWAYS love you, but we are all called to be obedient... (Sorry now I'm just rambling... )


As for telling your parents~~.... You should. God calls us to honor our parents. Not telling them would be dishonoring.

Story Time!~

So there was this guy I met while at a conference called "Ihop" (International House of Prayer---no not pancakes... Though I'm sure that convention is awesome too. smile ). He was apart of the school the conference works with... He pulled my friend and I aside and answered our questions, and then told us a little bit about how he came to be at this christian college.

His father was adamantly against it. As badly as his son wanted to go, the father refused... And time was running out. So the guy prayed to God about it and sought God's word on the matter. God told him basically, "I called you to honor your parents. So stay, and trust me." So the guy did just that. He stayed, and he prayed to God about his dad.

In the end, his dad's heart WAS changed, and he didn't press the issue about it. He honored his parents, he honored God, and he prayed about it.

So the point of the story is, we want to make sure that we do honor God. Now if your parent says, "Go murder babies," or ,"steal those cheetos from the convenience store," obviously don't do it. (That goes against God's word.) But if it is something like not going away to college or not moving in with dear friends.... That may be something you might wanna double back on and REALLY seek God on. Give it to God, and if that is where God wants you, HE will change hearts and make the way for you.

There is NOTHING that is outside of God's power. So, don't be afraid to tell your parent. For all you know, they'll understand and everything will be smooth and spiffy...
And if the small chance they don't, then it a wonderful opportunity to really trust God and grow in your relationship with Him. (It is also a GREAT opportunity for them to grow in their own relationship with God...)

I heard it put this way today. "If God closes a door, thank Him. Because He is protecting you from anything less than His best."




So not trying to scare you, but just some things to remember. smile

 

[Glitoris]

I will pray for guidance for you.

Personally, I am very much for the gay community, as I am a demisexual and a sapiosexual. I guess I can also be considered pansexual.

But I feel like you are doing the right thing. You don't have to believe it's not a sin to be gay - it's a very gray area.

But as one of God's followers, I believe that you should be open and accepting, not hateful, and that is what it sounds as if you are doing. And they seem to be accepting of you.

I will pray that your parents can understand.