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 Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 10:13 am
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Basically it got to the point where the college I'm in called my parents and talked to them about my status in the school dorm, and basically I'm kicked out of the dorm. I only have til September 1 to move out, and I'm really going to miss my dorm friends, my past good relationship with my father... Even though I should be happy that I still get to go to school despite my stupidity (brought cigarettes in my wallet and the matron saw it) I know my dad will be harsh now, and would probably not sponsor my schooling after this semester. He even started the sarcasm and 'celebrated' after the talk with the student affairs saying, "Hey let's celebrate! My daughter got kicked out of the dorm!" And it just hurts, I didn't mean for what happened to happen, I didn't mean to leave those cigarettes in my wallet for me to get in this mess. And you know what sucks? I already stopped smoking, and I only got caught when I DIDN'T smoke, and everything's going so well, good grades, high scores on exams, and then BAM this happens. I can't help but wonder why though, karma? I shouldn't have smoked in the first place or something? Sorry, we all make mistakes, especially when we're going through something and we find our means of coping in harmful vices, (I have clinical depression, already seeing a shrink and taking meds for it... it's not fun, what I'm going through, and this had to be added) but come on does that mean I have to be looked down for it and told that you're also probably taking illegal drugs and drinking too? DAMN.
The only thing keeping me from not doing anything more stupid are my friends, and my sister. I love them, if it weren't for them I don't know what I'd do to myself right about now.
*sigh* Sorry, I just had to get it off my chest... could use some prayers, words of encouragement. Something, anything... |
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Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 1:00 am
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Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 4:31 am
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Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 1:01 pm
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Hey just remember, it's not the end of the world, or your college life. And someday, even though it will probably be a while, your parents will eventually forgive you because they love you.
It will hurt for a while, but you can still push through it.
So I take it your school doesn't allow cigarettes? Or if they do, did they kick you out because they thought you were drinking and doing drugs too? If it's the second one, I'd definitely explain that to your parents and write the school a letter about that asking for a second chance (I don't know who you would address the letter to, probably the head of housing or something). Do it as soon as possible, too, and explain your story!
Tell them it was a complete mistake. Also, I don't want to make assumptions (right now I'm assuming you live in the USA, and are probably a Freshman, and are going to a super-strict college in a state that prohibits tobacco possession by minors on school campuses. I don't know what the laws are in other countries.) I take it that because the college contacted your parents and not you about the issue, you're probably under 18, correct? That does indeed make it harder to deal with parents, but hey if there's a time to screw up, better now (when you can still move back home) than later.
You might have to take a few classes at a community college, and will probably have to endure your dad's wrath for a while, but still. It will eventually get better; this is just a big obstacle you'll have to overcome. Luckily you're young and you have plenty of time to do it.
I've also been dropped from school in the middle of my Sophomore year before due to not making a payment on time, and that was basically the worst thing ever when it came to enduring my parents screaming at me for it, but that was about 3 years ago. I'm back in college at this point, and my parents have forgiven me and forgot about it at this point.
In other words, the TL;DR is: it's gonna be really rough, but you can get through it. Time never stands still, and things march on and lots of wounds heal with time and mistakes become forgiven and forgotten by other people, even if you still remember them.
I'll be praying for you and your depression, just remember that when you start thinking those kinds of really bad thoughts that MAY seem logical at the time, it's because your brain has a chemical imbalance that is causing it to be sick. So just keep it in mind, and don't do anything stupid. There are lots of ways to strengthen your resolve, not only through having a relationship with God but also finding hope that you'll at least be able to manage depression (like with meds and theraphy) or overcome it. I was also diagnosed with clinical depression and some anxiety disorder when I was a little kid and I just got over it about a year ago after being medicated and seeking therapy for at least 10 years, so I've been dealing with it for a while, and I know how it feels.
You're not alone, dude. So yeah, just remember that no matter how hard it gets, it's not the end of the world, the end of college, the end of your relationship with your dad, or your friends. These things will eventually pass, probably within a year or so. Just keep doing what you're doing, and I'll be praying for you. C:
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Posted: Thu Aug 15, 2013 6:38 am
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I believe that things happen for a reason, and we may not understand the reason now in this point in time, but maybe 5, 10, 15+ years later we'll look back on it and think, "Now I understand why that happened/what God was trying to show me." Perhaps this time around you aren't meant to be in the dorms for some reason, or there's some other reason. Karma exists so I wouldn't put it past me, but I can't be sure if that's what it is.
Look at it this way - at least you didn't get kicked out of college forever or anything like that, right? You can still continue your education. Of course dorm living is perhaps easier since you can walk to class or ride a bike there and you make new friends. It won't be the end of the world and you can keep getting your education 3nodding
Your dad may be sarcastic about it right now because he isn't sure what to think. Perhaps he feels disappointed in you because he knows you are more capable than that, and it seems that you are - you just made a mistake. It's easy to forget about things like that. Since you quit smoking, it's probably easy to leave some cigarettes in your wallet with the intention of throwing them out in a safe and effective manner.
It's an assumption in society that if someone smokes that they must do drugs and are an alcoholic. It's not uncommon in this world for people out there to do all three for whatever reasons, so perhaps it has become a generalization. However, it's an assumption, so it isn't always true.
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