A story written starring members of the Insomnia Guild
InsomniaCorporation
Prologue
The sun began to grace the city as it slowly rose above the horizon. The first rays showered Insomnia Tower as down below on the city streets, a film crew began to assemble on the steps, amongst the bustle of staff members heading inside the tower. "This has got to be the worst idea the producer has come up with yet! Tell me again why we were selected to film inside Insomnia Corporation?" the cameraman asked. "After all, it's a week away from my family."
The director turned and looked scornfully at him. "Quit your complaining! Look, we're going to be inside Insomnia Tower for Pete's sake. Do you have any idea how powerful their Security Procedures are? I hear their security staff are trained in the martial arts amongst other things, to help deal with intruders. Besides, given how much I had to invest just to convince the Public Relations team to let us film inside wasn't easy!"
"But still. I mean, you can bet that there are secrets behind these walls that no one outside the company could live to tell the tale of if they found out."
A car pulled up out from and a young lady got out. As soon as the crew noticed her, they all sighed. "Great! Now she shows up!" As she walked over, the director stormed over to her.
"Just where in the hell have you been?! We've been busy setting up for over an hour and you show up late! This is hardly a professional attitude for a reporter!"
She just scoffed at him. "Relax. After all, it's not like my personal life shouldn't be important to me."
The director grabbed a fist full of his hair and almost pulled it out in frustration. "Okay, fine! Just get yourself ready as we don't have much time. We're due to have the Head of Public Relations come out here momentarily to speak with us about what we can expect over the next week."
About 5 minutes later, a young man came walking out of the building carrying a portfolio and noticed the crew. Walking up, he extended a hand to the director. "You must be the crew from Inside Business. I'm Of No Great Importance, Manager of Public Relations" he said calmly.
"Yes, that's us. I'm Mark Dawdleberry, the director. This is Elaine Bottoms, the reporter. Allan Ziegelhoffer, cameraman. And Daniel Shithumsilf, the Sound Technician." After the round of pleasantries, Of No Great Importance motioned for all of them to follow him inside. As they entered through the tall, gold double doors, they walked over to the Security Desk where K76 was seated.
"This is K76, one of our Security Staff here at Insomnia Corporation." Turning to look at K76, Of No Great Importance spoke to him.
"K76, I need these 4 to get Temporary Access Badges for the week."
K76 looked at the four of them. "You'll each have to come back here every day as these badges are only valid for one day, and will show VOID by around 6pm this evening." With that, he handed each of them a small paper badge. "Keep them on you at all times inside the building."
"Thanks K76." Of No Great Importance replied. "Okay, now that you've all been badged, we just have to have you go through screening with the camera equipment X-Rayed, and then we'll be good to go.”
K76 took the camera and sound equipment, and placed it on the CTX Machine Belt. Each of them then passed through a Metal Detector and cleared. As K76 monitored the screen, nothing came up from the gear, so he waved them on by, whilst muttering under his breath about the unusual names that they had.
"Alright, well I think our first stop should be my office so that we can get an idea of the timeline and then I'll give you all a tour afterwards of the company. Does that seem okay with all of you?"
Mark nodded. "Yes, that seems fair to me."
Of No Great Importance smiled. "Okay, then for now, let's head up to my office on the 48th floor. I'll introduce you to my team of staff whilst we're there as well."
Daniel nearly had a heart-attack. He had a fear of heights, and being told that they would start off on the 48th floor wasn't something which he'd wanted to hear.
"Uh, sure. That's fine with me." he said nervously. As the elevator reached ground level and opened, he started to sweat like crazy. As soon as they were inside and the door had closed, he discovered another scary thought for him. The Elevator was set against the side of the building with a glass floor and walls. As the elevator climbed past the 8th floor, he got a bird's eye view of the outside, and when he looked down, a superb view of the ground getting farther and farther away from his feet. After what seemed to be forever, the elevator came to a stop on the 48th floor and opened up into a spacious area trimmed with gold.
"Here we are." Of No Great Importance said. After they exited the elevator and got over the initial shock of the interior, they followed him over to a set of doors marked "Public Relations Department". Inside, a hallway sat with doors lining the left side. Walking all the way down to the end, Of No Great Importance opened the far door and motioned for everyone to follow him. "Well, here's my office." he said nonchalantly.
It looked like Of No Great Importance was a multi-millionaire by what the interior looked like. His office was huge, covering roughly 600 square feet, with expensive artwork all over. None of them knew what to make of this. Of No Great Importance proceeded to take a seat and motioned for the others to sit down. As soon as they felt comfortable enough and actually took their seats, Of No Great Importance started the conversation.
"So, what made Inside Business select Insomnia Corporation for this documentary?" he asked.
"Well, our bosses had decided that they wanted to show investors, along with the ordinary public, how large corporations are run on the inside. Sort of a way of letting companies show the world how they do things, without giving away any confidential information of the corporation."
Of No Great Importance nodded as he followed along as they explained the whole concept behind the project that they were doing...
Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 11:03 pm
InsomniaCorporation Chapter One: I'm too lazy to think up a title
As the meeting wound down inside Of No Great Importance's office, they heard a knock on the door. "Come in." The door then opened with both Izzy Says Rawr and The_science_master walking in. "Ah, perfect timing! If I may introduce my team to you. This is Izzy Says Rawr." Izzy Says Rawr then nodded. "And The_science_master." Waving hello, The_science_master looked at Of No Great Importance, wondering what was going on.
"These are the staff from Inside Business which I'd been discussing with you last week. They're going to be doing a week-long documentary on our Company and our operations. Should they require any assistance, feel free to help them within reason."
Mark then stood up to introduce the team to them. "My name is Mark Dawdleberry, and these are my crew. Elaine Bottoms, Allan Ziegelhoffer, and Daniel Shithumsilf." As Daniel was introduced, Izzy Says Rawr and The_science_master both looked at him open-eyed, curious as to how he'd become cursed with such a Surname, all the while resisting the urge to break out in laughter.
"Uh, right. Well, I'm sure that you'll enjoy your stay at Insomnia. Of course, please feel free to ask us anything you want while you're here." Izzy Says Rawr finally said after the initial shock.
"Well, if you're ready, shall we begin the tour?" Of No Great Importance asked, trying to avoid any embarrassment from The_science_master or Izzy Says Rawr.
Mark, himself eager to get the tour underway, nodded in agreement. "Of course! I'm looking forward to it."
Of No Great Importance smiled. "Alright. Then how about we start with Public Relations and then move down to the 1st basement and the Warehouse, working our way up to the Penthouse Office of our President and CEO, SammehTron."
"Sounds like a plan." Mark replied. With that, they left Of No Great Importance's office and made their way next door to the Conference Room of the PR Department. "Well, this is our conference room for Public Relations. At Insomnia, each department has its own conference room, so that when a meeting is called for a specific group of departments, the primary department can host the meeting in their own room. So far, Public Relations have only held 21 Inter-departmental meetings. If I recall, I think Engineering has held the most with 103. We have a full-floor conference room on the 12th floor, which we use for Company Parties, meetings involving the entire company, etc. Feel free to leave your equipment here every night if you wish and use this as a conference room for the documentary whilst you're here." Mark nodded as he followed along with Of No Great Importance. "That's about it for now as far as our department. Shall we get going?"
Daniel and Allan went ahead and put their gear down, seeing as they didn't want to be lugging it all over whilst the tour was going on.
"Right behind you." Daniel said. As they made their way to the elevator, Izzy Says Rawr and The_science_master had to go into their offices, so they bid the others adieu for the time being. When the door to the elevator closed again and both employees were certain the crew had left, the entire floor suddenly burst in echoes of laughter from the two, who could no longer hold it inside regarding the surnames of both Elaine and Daniel, but mostly Daniel.
Meanwhile, Daniel, who'd temporarily forgotten that the floor and walls of the elevator were glass, had suddenly remembered when the door opened. As Of No Great Importance selected B1, Daniel silently gulped again, as he again broke out in a sweat. When the elevator jerked downwards to start its descent, he cringed. Allan looked at him and noticed Daniel's discomfort. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked. Daniel nodded.
"Yeah, just a slight fear of heights." he replied. Of No Great Importance, who overheard, laughed.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I can change the scenery for you if you like." He then entered a code on the key pad. It turned out that it wasn't glass that made up the walls and floor as they'd originally thought. The scene changed to a jungle theme.
"The walls and floor are actually made up of LED screens which project scenery that the rider asks for. The illusion of the outside is created by two wide-angle lens cameras. One underneath and one to the side of the elevator. It's a project that Engineering put together a couple of years ago." Of No Great Importance explained.
"How many backgrounds do you have?" Elaine asked. "Currently we have 43 backgrounds available, but Engineering is looking at adding more in the future."
Daniel had meanwhile calmed down a little since he was no longer looking outside and down. As the elevator reached the Basement, the doors slowly opened, unto a large warehouse with Computer Software and Hardware stacked in huge piles throughout. Exiting the elevator, Of No Great Importance opens his arms.
"Welcome to our warehouse, where all our supplies gets shipped to customers around the world." Two persons came walking over as soon as they saw Of No Great Importance.
"Ah, Of No Great Importance. We need your advice on..."
Of No Great Importance ignored them, continuing. "Excellent." Turning to face the crew, he introduced both of the warehouse staff members. "This is Ramza01. One of our warehouse employees."
Ramza01 just sighed.
"And this is the Manager of our warehouse, -AvalonChristopher-."
-AvalonChristopher- simply waved and looked back at Of No Great Importance.
"Look Of No Great Importance, we really do need your..." -AvalonChristopher- mentioned before again being interrupted, thus simply slapped his face in his palm, annoyed at the fact that Of No Great Importance wouldn't let him get a word in edgewise.
Of course, the usual reaction occurred when they both heard Daniel's surname. Trying to maintain his composure, Ramza01 simply said "Feel free to ask us any questions that you may have about the Warehouse. Although I can't think of why you would want to ask us any questions."
-AvalonChristopher- cleared his throat. "Okay, well as Of No Great Importance said, this is the warehouse at Insomnia Tower and I am -AvalonChristopher-, its manager. We have another member named Bestios; however he's out this morning at an appointment. In here, we store all our company hardware, software and products, ready to be sent both to distributors along with private clients who order directly from us."
Of No Great Importance then looked at -AvalonChristopher-. "So, what did you want to talk about?"
-AvalonChristopher- sweatdropped as he looked at Of No Great Importance. "We wanted to know what color I should paint my nails this time."
Mark overheard and looked at -AvalonChristopher-'s fingernails. "Elaine, what do you think?" he asked.
Elaine took one look at -AvalonChristopher-'s nails and shrugged. "I suppose that a dark shade of green would be nice." She was admiring the Bluish hue that his nails currently shone with.
Of No Great Importance just laughed. "I think you should go with a golden yellow."
-AvalonChristopher- nodded in thanks for the suggestions. "Well then, I must thank you for your input."
"Alright! Next stop, will be Marketing on the second floor. I'll introduce you to MistyMary24 and her staff, who are really a great team. Oh, but before that we have to stop by the cafeteria as I need to pick something up. I guess its back to the lobby first so we can get what we need from the cafeteria. Feel free to grab a bite to eat while we're there."
As they said goodbye to the warehouse, they went back to the lobby and headed over to the cafeteria. Inside, they ran into WolfdeHeartless talking with both Capt Richard and KayCanFight. Of No Great Importance brought the crew over.
"Hey WolfdeHeartless, Richard, KayCanFight. How're things going?"
WolfdeHeartless looked up at Of No Great Importance. "Hey there Of No Great Importance. Not much for me. Just getting ready for a meeting with my team as we upgrade some of the security system."
Capt Richard and KayCanFight were busy looking over a notice which had been placed in their mailboxes, which gave their schedules with Insomnia-1 for the week.
"Folks, these are WolfdeHeartless, our Security Manager, along with Insomnia-1's Flight Crew. Captain Richard and First Officer KayCanFight." KayCanFight and Richard looked over and nodded.
"Good morning. Sorry for not saying hello earlier. I'm just busy trying to make sense of why we're going to Cancun tomorrow afternoon for 3 hours. We've been asked to send HazyMornings and Samantha Topple, along with Pixxel ghost and Larry to do a presentation to the City Government. Hopefully we get stranded there and can turn it into a mini-vacation." Richard said jokingly. Holding out his hand, he shook each of the guests. "I'm Capt Richard, the Captain of Insomnia-1."
KayCanFight then joined Richard in shaking their hands. "Hi there! Nice to meet you all. My name is KayCanFight. First Officer for Insomnia-1, of which I can certainly hold my own against the lads in this company. Nice to meet all of you."
WolfdeHeartless, Capt Richard, and KayCanFight started talking with the crew about their work, whilst Of No Great Importance went to grab what he needed for the trip to marketing. After a few minutes, he returned carrying an insulated paper cup. "Alright. Are we all ready to get going up to Marketing?" he asked.
"Sure, I think we're all set here." Mark replied. Saying goodbye, they left the cafeteria and made their way back to the elevator. Once the door opened on the second floor, Of No Great Importance made a hard left and walked down the corridor until he reached a center door labeled "Marketing". As he opened the door, he came right across the Marketing Manager/VP of Insomnia, I’mfreezingandhungry.
"Ah, I’mfreezingandhungry! It's good to see you this morning. Oh, here you are then, a nice steaming hot cup of Earl Grey." Of No Great Importance then handed I’mfreezingandhungry his tea. "These are the crew from Inside Business that I'd told you about last week. They'll be here for the week doing a documentary on our rise in the ranks to power." I’mfreezingandhungry took the cup and held it up.
"Cheers. It's nice to meet all of you. I'm I’mfreezingandhungry, Marketing Manager and Vice President of Insomnia Corporation. I certainly do wish you a pleasant stay here this week. So, what can I do for you?" he asked.
"Well, today really is just a feel for the company and getting a rough idea of where all the departments are." Mark explained. At that moment, Ruzu walked in from his connecting office.
"Hey there I’mfreezingandhungry." He then noticed the guests. "Hi there."
I’mfreezingandhungry and Of No Great Importance waved Ruzu over. "Good to see you Ruzu. These people are from Inside Business and are here for the week to do a documentary on Insomnia Corporation." Of No Great Importance explained.
"Ah, welcome to Insomnia, I suppose. However you must excuse me for now as I have a meeting up in Engineering. We've come up with a new rebate program and I want their input on the idea." I’mfreezingandhungry looked over at him. "Well, why not see what our guests think of it?"
Ruzu shrugged. "If you don't mind." Mark and the others simply nodded. "Sure, I'd love to hear what the idea is."
"Well, we've decided to offer a full money-back rebate on all of our most recent products to hit the market."
Mark looked at him with a look of confusion. "But wouldn't that result is losses to Insomnia?"
"Ah, but here's the thing. The customer must find the secretly hidden 300-digit Serial number and write it within the box on the rebate form which is only the size of a checkbox in a manner that is legible to our staff without the use of high-powered magnification. This will guarantee that the public buy our products thinking that they'll get their money back, only to get nothing. It's perfect!" I’mfreezingandhungry grinned evilly. "Excellent work Ruzu! I wish you well in the meeting with Engineering."
Ruzu then turned to face the crew. "So, what do you think?"
They all just stood there and nodded. "Uh, yeah! I think that's a great idea." Daniel said, uneasy with the spotlight having been thrown on them.
"Great. Well, I'll be sure to have you all buy copies before the week is done, out of your own pocket money, of course. See ya." He then walked out into the hallway, leaving them alone, as the crew from Inside Business tried to get their heads around what Ruzu had said.
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Waffle King Richard
Sweet Alchemist
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Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 5:10 pm
InsomniaCorporation Chapter Two
"Well, I think we’d best be going on now.” explained Of No Great Importance. “After all, we still have quite a lot of the company to see today on the tour. But thanks again I’mfreezingandhungry for your help, and for your time this morning.”
I’mfreezingandhungry just waved her hand. “Oh, that’s no problem. After all, I enjoy meeting with clients. And thanks again for the tea, Of No Great Importance.” Turning to face the crew of Inside Business, I’mfreezingandhungry gave a slight bow. “If there is anything you wish to ask of my team or I during your stay, please feel free to ask.”
As Of No Great Importance escorted them out into the hallway, Daniel held his hand out to shake hands with I’mfreezingandhungry.
“Thanks again for your hospitality.”
“Don’t mention it.” Once they’d left the office, I’mfreezingandhungry shrugged. “So those are the people from Inside Business that Of No Great Importance brought up at the meeting on Friday. Hmm, let’s hope they don’t get too nosy while they’re here.”
Moonlit Freedom then walked out of her office. “So, who were they?”
“Oh, Moonlit Freedom. Those are the people that Of No Great Importance arranged to do a documentary on the company with.”
Moonlit Freedom looked concerned. “Do you think they’ll uncover the truth?”
“I doubt it. But it may be in our best interest to get them involved to keep an eye on things. After all, I don’t want the truth about our company getting leaked out to the common public, or at least, not until the final phase of our plan is complete.” I’mfreezingandhungry then looked Moonlit Freedom in the eye.
“By the way Moonlit Freedom. Shouldn’t you be with Ruzu at the moment giving the presentation to Engineering?”
Moonlit Freedom laughed shyly whilst rubbing her hand behind her head. “Um, yeah. I guess I forgot about that meeting.”
Shaking her own head, I’mfreezingandhungry just waved a hand towards Moonlit Freedom, as if to say “Go on.”
“Well, I guess I’d best be going to that meeting now.” Moonlit Freedom then proceeded out of the office and down the hallway towards the elevator, leaving I’mfreezingandhungry alone in the Marketing office. “I need to get a new secretary.” she muttered.
Meanwhile, Of No Great Importance was walking the staff over to the other end of the hallway, and came to a stop in front of a large Oak door with the words “International & Investor Relations” on it.
“These are the offices of both the International and Investor Relations Departments. Both of which used to be under Public Relations, but split off a year ago due to the sheer volume of International Relations that the company has to deal with on a day to day basis. Let me warn you though, as since they’re always really swamped with work, you may not get a chance to speak with anyone today.” As Of No Great Importance opened the door, it became apparent that his guess was not quite correct. Indeed, the opposite was true. For inside, everyone was sitting down on sofas resting, with two of the employees fast asleep.
Annoyed at what he was seeing, Of No Great Importance quickly closed the door and turned to the crew, saying rather nervously “Well, it appears that they’re in a meeting at the moment so I think it would be best if we came back later.” Just as Of No Great Importance was finishing the sentence, Pink_Paint walked up behind them.
“Good morning Of No Great Importance.” She said cheerfully.
Of No Great Importance looked over to see Pink_Paint smiling at him. “Aw, crap!” he muttered. “Um, everyone, this is Pink_Paint, the Investor and International Relations Manager here at Insomnia. Pink_Paint, these are the crew from Inside Business which I informed you of back at Friday’s General Management Meeting.”
“Ah, yes. I remember now. Sorry about that. Please, come inside. It‘s certainly a pleasure to meet all of you” With that, Pink_Paint scooted by Of No Great Importance and opened the door for everyone. “Don’t be shy. No one in our department will bite.”
They looked around to see that in actually, no one was apparently working. “You must excuse our tired physiques, but we were all here most of the night dealing with a Relations Issue in Shanghai, China.” she explained.
Of No Great Importance just sighed. “So, that’s why almost everyone is resting right now.”
Pudding Raven walked over as they entered and handed Pink_Paint a set of documents. “Excellent. These should do nicely for the project. Thanks Pudding Raven.”
After Pudding Raven managed to introduce the staff of the department, and they had yet again gotten over the initial shock of Daniel’s last name, they greeted the crew with as much strength as they could afford for the time being.
“So, do you have any questions of any of us?” Pudding Raven asked.
Allan raised his arm. “I was wondering how challenging the department can be for a newcomer, in light of the fact that this department handles quite a substantial workload?”
“Well, that would depend on the stamina and focus given by the individual employee. Certainly, if you give a little, you can expect only a little back in return. If you give a lot, then you can expect a lot back in return. I like to run this department with the idea that everyone is equal and no one is greater than another. I find it helps promote equality for everyone in this department. But then again, each department runs things differently.”
As the discussion continued, ZombieNARWHAL came in, carrying the model light saber that had been dropped off by the courier earlier that morning. “Sorry about that. Mail Room had called, letting me know that the package I’d been waiting for had arrived.”
Laughing gently, Pink_Paint simply waved it off, saying “Don’t worry about it ZombieNARWHAL. Oh, these are the people from Inside Business that are going to be with our company for the week.”
ZombieNARWHAL smiled. “Please to meet you. My name is ZombieNARWHAL, one of the International Relations team members in this department. Sorry though for making this introduction brief, but I really must get into my office and play with my new toy. So if you’ll excuse me.” With that, ZombieNARWHAL slipped past going straight to their office.
“Well, as you can see, we have a pretty unique group here in this office. But certainly feel free to come and visit at any time you wish, and we’ll be sure to take care of you.”
As they left the office back into the hallway, Of No Great Importance noticed a familiar face getting out of the elevator and heading towards Marketing. Familiar as it was an android. “JVGreek, it’s good to see you again.”
JVGreek simply turned to see Of No Great Importance and his entourage walking towards him. “It’s been quite a while, Of No Great Importance.” JVGreek turned to face the people that were with him. “And who might all of you be?” he asked.
Of No Great Importance laughed gingerly at JVGreek’s up-front question. “Well, these people are from Inside Business and they’re here to help to a documentary for the week.”
JVGreek’s eyes flashed when he heard that. “So, these are the people that I’mfreezingandhungry asked us to keep an eye on for the week. It appears the two of us are going to be able to have some fun, after all.” he thought to himself with a grin.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you JVGreek.” Mark said, albeit nervous of the apparent aura of power seeping from JVGreek. With a slight scoff, JVGreek replied.
“No, no. The pleasure is all mine, I assure you.”
Of No Great Importance looked at JVGreek for a moment, and figured it would be best to simply let them get on their way to their next stop. “Listen, I’m sorry to have to cut this short, but I think it would be best if we kept going. After all, there is still a lot to see here and so little time in which to see it all.”
After they got in the elevator, Mark turned to Of No Great Importance. “Um, who was that?”
“JVGreek? He’s one of the network controllers who monitors the networks of our clients. Sort of a general handy-man as it were. He just likes to give a tough guy appearance to others, but truth be told, he’s really a very lovable creature.”
Elaine raised her hand. “Um, so what’s the next stop for us?”
Of No Great Importance waited until the elevator came to a stop on the 6th floor. “One of our most prestigious departments of all, and I’m told the envy of competitors worldwide.” As the door opened, a single double-door greeted them. On the door, in large gold letters, was “Information Technology”.
“I must ask though that if during the week, you ever come here, that you do not film or take photographs of what is within. This floor is a restricted level, so even when you do come, you will have to be escorted at all times here.” Getting off the elevator, they all nodded in agreement.
“Yeah, that’s no problem.” Mark answered.
“Alright, then without further ado, I present to you the Information Technology Department.” Of No Great Importance the opened the doors, and unto their eyes shone a world they hadn’t expected. Pinball and Video Games lined the sides of the office foyer, with several office doors spread out. In the center of the room was a large marble and gold fountain with what appeared to be a sculpture of the world-famous Transformers character Soundwave standing triumphant in the middle.
Of No Great Importance invited them to all have a seat whilst he went and got the Manager of the IT Department, Utoen. Heading to the back of the foyer, he knocked on a large door. A few moments later, Utoen came walking out carrying a TV Remote.
“Hey Of No Great Importance! What’s up?”
“Hi Utoen. Look, sorry to bother you since I know the IT department is rather busy with getting the project finalized, but I was wondering if I could introduce the crew from Inside Business to everyone?”
Utoen shrugged. “I guess so. We are kind of busy right now, but I guess I can’t see any harm with giving everyone a break to come say hi.”
“Thanks.” Of No Great Importance breathed a sigh of relief.
“No problem. Hey just give me a moment to let everyone know and come out of their offices.” With that, Utoen left to pick up her phone. A minute later, she returned. “Okay, they’ll be out in a moment. So, where are these guests?”
Of No Great Importance walked Utoen over and introduced them to him. As the conversation got underway, Khajiiti, Lady of Verona, and Nia Phoenix came walking out of their offices. “Great. And here we have my three main supervisory staff who each keeps an eye on things here in the IT Department. May I introduce Khajiiti, Lady of Verona, and Nia Phoenix. They help keep this department running, and I know we couldn’t do it without their help. These people are here for the week to help put a documentary on our company together.”
“Nice to meet you” Khajiiti said, pretty much summing up how all three of them responded. After a few more minutes of idle chat, Of No Great Importance once again took the initiative to get the tour back on track.
“Well, once again, I’d like to thank each of you for taking the time out of your schedules to meet with our guests.”
Utoen just nodded. “Oh, don’t worry about anything. It helps clear our minds and reduce the stress that we get placed under. But certainly do take care for now and I hope we’ll see you all again later this week sometime.”
As they all headed back into the hallway and waited for the elevator, Of No Great Importance started running a mental list on where they had already been, and where he could still take them. He wanted to get at least one more department out of the way before they broke for lunch. “Ah ha! I know where I can take them. Besides, they are both wonderful people.” he thought. As the door to the elevator opened, Of No Great Importance quickly had to change the scenery as someone had set it back to the outside view.
Once he was done, he invited Daniel to get on board, before sending the elevator climbing up to the top floor. “Okay, to help wind the morning part of the tour down, you get a treat. This is where it all began, and where Online Games, such as our MMORPG’s are networked. This department is unique in that it has two managers who share the operation together, and that they also happen to be married. But don’t worry. They are both great people and I’ve always enjoyed working with them here.”
As each floor counted up on the screen, the crew from Inside Business tried to put together all that they had seen thus far. Finally, the elevator came to a stop, opening right into the office of two people who sat at a set of computers typing away commands which relayed to their characters on the screen in a fantasy world. They both paused their game when they heard the chime of the elevator and the sound of the doors opening. On the walls around them were pictures of both managers together.
“Hi Of No Great Importance.” The young lady smiled as she saw him walk in.
“SammehTron. InsomniMatt. How are the two of you this morning?” he asked.
“Not bad. We were just trying to iron out some bugs in one of the upcoming games that we’re going to have put on the market.” InsomniMatt put his wireless keyboard down for a moment. “So, what brings you here? It’s a treat for us to even see you outside of General Management Meetings these days.”
Of No Great Importance motioned to the four people that were with him. “SammehTron, InsomniMatt. May I present the crew from Inside Business who will be doing a documentary all this week about Insomnia Corp. SammehTron is also our President and CEO.”
They both nodded hello, as Mark stepped forward. “I’m Mark Dawdleberry, the director. This is our reporter Elaine Bottoms, Cameraman Allan Ziegelhoffer, and Daniel Shithumsilf, the Sound Technician.”
InsomniMatt could only manage to cough when he heard it, trying to be polite enough not to laugh at Daniel’s last name. “Uh, it’s nice to meet you all.” he finally answered. SammehTron wrapped her arm around InsomniMatt and smiled at everyone.
“So, what can we do for all of you today?” she asked. “Well, I’ve just been busy giving a tour to them, introducing them to everyone in each of the departments.” Of No Great Importance answered.
SammehTron looked at her watch. “Well, we were actually going to be heading down in a few minutes to get lunch from the cafeteria. Why don’t you all join us? It’ll help you meet staff that you normally wouldn’t meet. Some of us work outside the building more often than inside, such as our Research Analysts and Field Teams. They’re all here today, so you might be able to meet some of them during lunch.”
Of No Great Importance smiled. This would certainly speed the tour up for him, and allow him a break for a little while to rest his legs.
“That sounds really nice. But please, I must insist that we be allowed to buy lunch for all of you.” Mark said. “It’s the least we can do as a way of thanking everyone for their hospitality.”
InsomniMatt shook his head. “Oh, there’s no need to do that. After all, the food in the cafeteria, whilst cheap in price, is quite hearty in quality. So, it isn’t a drain on our wallets to eat here.”
As they all made their way into the elevator, SammehTron shook her head. “I don’t like this scenery.” she muttered. Reaching over to the key pad, she keyed in a passcode for her private display. A moment later, the elevator changed from a jungle scene, to a collage of hand-selected pictures from SammehTron and InsomniMatt’s Wedding Ceremony. “That’s better. These are photos from our wedding day that we gave to Engineering for them to make a collage for the elevator of.”
They got to watch as a series of photos, ranging from SammehTron in her dress before the ceremony, to the first kiss as husband and wife. They even got to enjoy photos from the reception party afterwards. Everyone just smiled, as it brought a tear to Of No Great Importance’s eyes reminding him of that day.
“SammehTron, I have to say that you look absolutely beautiful in that dress.” Elaine commented, herself unable to avoid tears from seeing the occasion.
“Well, this will get an addition soon. Engineering asked me on Thursday for the wedding video, so that they can make a video wall as well of our wedding.” InsomniMatt explained. “Of course these aren’t available for just anyone to select since they are pass-coded.”
A minute later, the elevator arrived at the Ground Floor, and everyone headed over to the cafeteria. Unlike earlier, the cafeteria is now swamped with employees who were vying for a good meal and a premium place to sit down. “Don’t worry. It’s only like this on Mondays and Wednesdays. The rest of the week it doesn’t get as bad.” Of No Great Importance explained.
“Why just those days?” Allan inquired.
“Well, on those days, the food is half price, so naturally everyone wants a bit more from the buffet selection. You normally pay 50 cents per pound of food, but when it becomes 25 cents per pound, you get a lot more for your dollar.”
“Why is it so cheap?”
“It’s subsidized by the accounts that Insomnia holds globally. Not to worry though. Truth be told, the food may be cheap in price as a result, but not in quality.”
They got in line and waited for their turns at the buffet counter. When they had all selected the foods that they wanted, they met up at the cash registers where InsomniMatt handed his employee account card to the cashier.
“Don’t worry. This is on us today. However I think it would be best given the circumstances to possibly eat quickly, and give you all a chance to talk with the employees that are here.”
Of No Great Importance looked behind them to see Hazy Mornings and Samantha Topple were next in line. “Excellent. Hey Hazy Mornings, Samantha Topple.”
The two ladies looked up to see Of No Great Importance, SammehTron, and InsomniMatt standing there with some new faces.
“Hi there everyone. How’re things?” Samantha Topple asked.
“Samantha Topple, Hazy Mornings; these are the staff from Inside Business who’re going to be here throughout the week to help run a documentary on our company for the outside world to see what goes on here.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet both of you.” Mark said.
“These two ladies are the Research Analysts for Insomnia, and basically meet with our clients out on the field along with the field teams to monitor how our products are doing, and what the clients feel could be modified to help the product fully suit their needs.” SammehTron explained.
Elaine was impressed. “That’s amazing! You two have such strong positions within the company. I must say that I’m really impressed by all the work I’ve seen thus far today whilst on the tour.”
Hazy Mornings smiled. “Thanks for the compliment. Although the stress for us isn’t as great as it is for those in Engineering or IT.”
Everyone laughed at that comment. As they started conversing, they suddenly heard an announcement over the PA in the cafeteria. “Make way for Field Team A! All rise in the presence of Larry!” The staff all jokingly stood at attention, whilst the crew from Inside Business stood there wondering just what was going on.
“Hey, what’s so special about a field team?” Allan whispered to Daniel.
“How should I know?!”
The answer would leave all 4 of them with their jaws on the floor. For into the cafeteria walked a distinguished woman wearing a high quality suit and dark sunglasses. This in and of itself wouldn’t be unusual; however the individual next to her was what got their attention. As Pixxel ghost walked over to the buffet counter, Larry waddled closely behind. For you see, Larry is a duck. A duck who was wearing expensive Ray-Ban shades and sporting a high class suit specially tailored for him. Everyone applauded as Larry followed along behind Pixxel ghost, hoping to get some extra food from the other employees.
“Surprised?” Of No Great Importance asked. “Those two make up Field Team A, and although Larry is a duck, he’s extremely gifted at getting clients off topic.” After grabbing the food for both her and Larry, Pixxel ghost walked over to the line at the register and ran into the others after paying for the food.
“Hey Samantha Topple. Hazy Mornings. Ready for the meeting tomorrow in Cancun?” she asked.
“As ready as we’ll ever be, I suppose.” Samantha Topple replied.
“Oh, Pixxel ghost, these guests are from Inside Business and are going to be here for the week doing a documentary of the company.” Of No Great Importance mentioned. Larry quacked loudly whilst flapping his wings. Elaine thought it was cute, so she reached down to pet him.
"No! Don't!" cried Pixxel ghost. But it was too late. Larry started pinching her hand with his beak, trying to lay a hint that he wanted her to give him food and affection.
"Sorry about that." Pixxel ghost said as she reached over and gently took hold of Larry. "You aren't hurt, are you?"
Elaine rubbed her hand a little, and then smiled. "It's okay, it didn't hurt that much." she answered.
Heading over to a large table which had opened itself up again, they all took a seat and started to talk about what was going on in their lives, and sharing information both on Insomnia Corporation along with Inside Business. After about 45 minutes, InsomniMatt looked up at the clock. "Well, I guess we'd better be getting back to work now." he said.
"Well, why don't you come back up. We'll give you all a tour of our office as you weren't really able to see too much of it earlier when you came in. There are a lot of cool things in there." SammehTron offered.
Of No Great Importance looked at the crew. "We've seen most of the departments already. It's completely up to all of you as to what you want to do right now."
The crew from Inside Business decided to quickly confer amongst themselves whilst weighing their options. After a few moments, they elected to take SammehTron and InsomniMatt up on their offer.
"Excellent." SammehTron said with a smile.
As the elevator returned to the top floor, SammehTron turned the overhead lights on, which certainly did brighten the room up clearly for everyone. In the far corner was a heart-shaped bed with matching pillows. They could see more clearly the pictures which also covered the walls, showing the love between SammehTron and InsomniMatt and how it evolved and became the strong burning candle it is now.
On their desk, encased in a gold and silver frame with a diamond cat paw-print, was the crowning achievement thus far in their lives. The Photo was of the two of them together right after the wedding ceremony. All around were memorabilia of their family, ranging from bobble head figures of their children and sketches, to a replica of their wedding cake.
"So, would you like to see our latest game development?" SammehTron asked.
Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 6:58 pm
Insomnia Corporation Chapter Three
Whilst everyone else was enjoying their Lunch break, the Human Resources Department was busy watching everyone in the cafeteria by Closed Circuit TV, running timers on each employee. Sachara grinned as she watched the timers count down, one by one.
“Come on, expire already. I want some fun today!” Within 30 seconds of that comment, three timers reach zero. Laughing maniacally, Sachara grabbed the Intercom microphone and spoke into it. “Attention, everyone in the cafeteria! I need the following employees to come up to HR this minute. You all went over your allotted 45 minute break for lunch. Mr. Porkenbeans, Mrs. Fairchild, and Mr. Cesario. We’re going to have a little chat in my office. And as for the rest of you, remember that I’m keeping a close eye on your break, and believe me, if I could, I’d eliminate your breaks all together! That is all!” She then smiled as she watched the three employees walk dejectedly out of the cafeteria with their heads dropped in shame.
“Good, good! They’re feeling bad now. That should cheer me up a little.”
Doordream then walked over and joined Sachara in watching the three employees walking towards the elevator, thankful that they were able to feel depressed for at least once in their lives. “Dammit! I can’t feel happy.” he thought. “I work in HR, so I can’t make myself feel happy.”
Sachara, still feeling in a good mood, and getting somewhat excited at what she’d get to do in a short while, turned to Doordream. “Hey, could you do me a little favor and grab my punishment bag from the other room? I want to get warmed up ready for this punishment.”
Almost getting into a round of laughter at the mere thought of what was in store for the three slackers; Doordream walked outside and retrieved the “Punishment Bag”. Returning to Sachara’s office, he handed it to her, just as a knock came at the front door.
“Thanks. And it would appear our guests have arrived.” Sachara said with a beaming smile of evil, yet entirely innocent intentions.
Doordream walked out to the office front door and opened it. “You know, you can walk in, you don’t have to knock.” he told them.
As all three of them walked into the foyer, he showed them to a row of hard, wooden chairs in the corner. “Have a seat. The Master of HR will see you all shortly.” he told them. Going back into Sachara’s office, he let her know that all three were sitting outside waiting to see her.
“Excellent. So Doordream, shall we go to lunch now? Might as well have them wait in anguish for as long as possible.”
Doordream now did break out in laughter. “That’s a really evil thing to do Sachara! I love it!”
With that, they both took the direct exit from Sachara’s office out into the hallway and headed to the elevator, leaving all three slackers sitting in the foyer sweating nervously as they imagined the horrible things that Sachara might do to them.
When they arrived at the cafeteria, they found that the room was quieting down from what it had been a short time earlier, as most of the employees had cleared out after that announcement Sachara had made; which had managed to install fear into each employee, who’d then ended up either rushing back to their workstations early, or else spending the rest of their time in the cafeteria simply keeping a constant eye upon their watches, not wanting to go over their allotted 45 minutes. After grabbing their lunch, the two of them sat down and looked at their watches.
“Doordream, I’m going to allot ourselves an additional 15 minutes, so we get a full hour for lunch, just for added effect. After all, those three know that they can’t return to their positions until they’ve met with me.”
Raising his drink in satisfaction, the two tapped their drinks together whilst saying "Cheers."
Once their lunch hour was finished, they both headed back up to the HR Office, and as Sachara emptied the contents of the bag out, Doordream made his way back out into the foyer. "Our apologies for the wait. The Master will see you know." he said, whilst motioning to the door to her office. Gulps could be heard emanating from all three employees as they stood up and slowly made their way into her office. Sachara didn't look amused, wanting to play with their heads.
"What took the three of you so long to get here?! You've made me wait over an hour for you to all arrive! Let me ask you rather plainly, why should I not have your employment with Insomnia Corporation terminated?! You all bring shame to this company, with your lax attitude and desire to make higher ups like my ever innocent self wait and have to question where you are! What a disappointment to us all you've each become!" She was smiling inwardly and patting herself on the back for the roll she was on.
"Now then, please explain yourselves. Firstly, why you went over your allotted 45 minutes, and secondly, why you made me wait so long?!"
Mr. Cesario took a breath, getting ready to talk. "Well, you see..."
Sachara then quickly interjected. "No! I don't want to hear anything the three of you have to say! It's not worth my precious time at this point!"
Doordream just stood there laughing as hard as he could mentally as Sachara chewed all three of them out. Thirty minutes later, Sachara finally stopped yelling at them.
"Okay, I think we all know that I've finished my rant with you all. So then, what are you going to do to help correct your actions so that this will never happen again?"
Mrs. Fairchild volunteered her response. "Well, I'm going to monitor my lunch break more closely and make sure I avoid getting the wrath of the ever great and powerful almighty Sachara in the future."
Sachara nodded her head in understanding. "Good! You understand that you won't want to face my wrath again, but that's okay. You won't have to face my wrath anymore." The three of them looked at her, all perplexed. "You see, since none of you returned to your workstations on time, and did not let your managers know of your reason for missing work, I’m afraid it deeply pains me, but I'm going to have to terminate each of your employment status’ with Insomnia Corporation. After all, we can't have such irresponsible behavior within our prestigious company, now can we?"
"Y-you mean, w-we're fired?!" Mr. Cesario asked, totally in shock.
"T-that w-would b-be a y-yes!" she replied. "Now then, I need each of you to sign these documents which declare that you understand that you are each bound to the company’s confidentiality agreements for the next 5 years, and that you agree not to seek employment in any field that promotes a conflict of interests with Insomnia Corporation for at least five years, in order to protect our company. Also, you will pay restitution to Insomnia for the fact that you did not clock out for lunch. Payroll isn't there to pay low level employees for their lunch breaks!" Sachara then turned to Doordream.
"Can you get me their files along with three termination packages for processing their terminations, please?"
Doordream bowed his head. "I’ll be right back." He made his way over to the Records Room and looked up their files.
When Doordream returned to Sachara's office, he handed her the requested files and termination packages. After filling in the sections of the forms that she needed to work on, she handed them to each of the three employees before her to have them sign. As each signed their forms, Sachara picked up the phone and called up KurosageX.
"Hi there KurosageX! It's me, Sachara. I just wanted to let you know that I have Mr. Cesario in my office at the moment." KurosageX, who was on the other end, just exploded by the sound of her response. "Well, I summoned him here because he went over his lunch break, but he also made me then wait over an hour waiting for him... Yes, we're busy filling in the termination paperwork right now... I understand. That's fine. Alright, thanks for the compliment... Talk to you later. Bye now."
With that, she then hung up and then went ahead and dialed Jenna Bell’s extension. "Hi there Jenna Bell! Could you do me a favor and come down to HR for a few minutes? I have two of your liaison staff here and we're in the middle of doing termination paperwork with them for having gone over their lunch break allotted times... Sure, that'll fine! Okay, I'll see you in a few minutes then... See you then!"
"Um, is Jenna Bell coming down here?" Mrs. Fairchild asked. "Yes. She will be escorting both of you to your workstations to clear out your belongings." With that, she called WolfdeHeartless over in Security. "WolfdeHeartless, hi there… Oh, just busy handling some terminations here... Yeah, Jenna Bell will take care of her employees, but I need a favor. KurosageX is swamped with his workload, so I was wondering if you or one of your staff could come up and escort Mr. Cesario to the Field Test Office... Great, thanks for your help!"
Replacing the receiver, Sachara looked at Mr. Cesario. "I suppose you figured it out from the conversation. KurosageX is busy catching up and trying to split the workload you've forced upon him through this incident over to the other team members. We'll have WolfdeHeartless and Rabidi Amor coming up to escort you over to the Field Test Office. But as all three of you know, we reserve the right to look over and inspect what you remove, in order to ensure no company property is removed. Not to say that you would do it, but I'm just required to let you know that everything you take with you will be checked to ensure company security and safety."
As the paperwork wrapped up, Jenna Bell walked into the office and saw both Mrs. Fairchild and Mr. Porkenbeans sitting there looking ashamed at what was going on.
"Hey everyone." Sitting down next to them, Jenna Bell looked both of them in the eyes. "So, what happened?"
"Well Jenna Bell, they went over their time for lunch and then when I asked them to come discuss it with me, they made me wait over an hour for their arrival!" Using her control abilities, Sachara had broken them all down psychologically into believing that they were completely at fault. "Well, I'm done with them now, so I'll leave the escort duty down to you."
Jenna Bell shrugged and stood up. "This is the one part of the job that I hate the most, having to escort people from the building." Jenna Bell then gave a sigh. "Well then, let's get going."
"Actually, before then, could we have their SIDA security badges?" WolfdeHeartless asked, as both he and Rabidi Amor came walking in. "It makes things less complicated in the long run."
Sachara looked over and smiled. "That was quick for you two to arrive."
“Well, what can I say? We in security are quick to respond to any and all issues that may arise." Rabidi Amor answered.
Removing their badges, all three employees handed them over to WolfdeHeartless, who then signed the termination paperwork of Sachara's to say that Security had recovered their SIDA badges, thus preventing a $100 charge to their payroll accounts and possible redesign and reissue of all the current SIDA badges.
"Well, my job in all of this is complete." Sachara said. "I certainly do wish all three of you well in your future endeavors, wherever they may be."
With that, Jenna Bell, WolfdeHeartless and Rabidi Amor escorted all three of them out of Human Resources. Once they'd all left, Doordream turned to Sachara and smiled. "Looks like today was a successful day for you."
Laughing, Sachara replied "Well, I always find it a blast to make the peasant employees get worked to the bone in every department. Besides, it's all in the interest of allowing us to achieve the goals of Project Round Horn here at Insomnia."
"So how are your workouts in Kung Sachara going?" Doordream asked.
"Excellent! It's not only enjoyable to watch victims suffer, but it’s also a great stress reliever!"
SIDA:Secure Identification Display Area.
Required photo ID needed to show you are allowed in a certain area that is classified as Secure.