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 Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:58 am
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Today I realised how great it would be to have a blog/tumblr/open resource of happy poly stories! You know, joyous little moments and tales of success, etc. What do you think?
In the meantime, here's mine:
My long-term, live-in boyfriend (J) and I hit a bump in the road a year and a half-ish ago when my best friend (W) and I realised we had feelings for one another. I knew in my heart I had to either accommodate those feelings or cease contact with the friend. J knew how much it meant to me, so after initial discomfort he and I read all we could read on open relationships together. And then we broached the idea to W.
Eight months down the track, J felt comfortable enough for me to begin dating W officially. And we were all amazed by how easy and comfortable it felt for all involved. We'd spent so long theorising and planning, but in practice it just worked.
W and I have been an item for about 6 months now, after years of friendship. We have no plans to live together, but spend a couple of days a week in each other's company. J and I still live together and our relationship is all the stronger for the communication skills we've learnt and the time apart we have each week. W & J, who didn't have much to talk about before, now get on well. (The only thing they have in common is me, I'll admit.)
It's still early days, but it feels like we're on the right track and that we're much better equipped to handle issues as they arise. I don't quite identify as poly, but we identify the relationship configuration itself as poly. I'm just a happy queermo. And I feel very loved indeed!
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Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 2:57 pm
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:48 am
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I think if I were going to pick out a happy poly moment, it would by when my boyfriends (A and L, we'll go with the letter system) realized they had feelings for each other and decided to start a relationship.
My boyfriend A wasn't acquainted with the idea of polyamory when we met, but he was quickly open and receptive to the idea. When I started a relationship with A my only other established relationship was with my marriage partner, G. They met and even experimented with intimacy, but it didn't work as a match between them. They didn't have any tension between them, but the chemistry was just flat. It wasn't really a problem, but A was kind of disappointed that he felt like he was personally monogamous. I explained to him that he shouldn't give up because of one miss-match, but I could tell it bothered him a little since he really liked the idea of polyamory. Then when A started hanging out with L after I got more serious with L, they really hit it off. A was nervous about their connection at first, but I helped walk them through it and they've been great together for over a year now. I love that I could help A discover that part of himself and it makes me really happy to see him and L happy together now.
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Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 3:21 pm
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^_^ I think that first story realy made me the happiest to read.
anywho, mine... hmm...
I think the happiest Poly story I have is one I have of personal discovery... I had spent the first year and a half of my romantic life not realizing that I was Poly, and trying so hard to make my relationships work. I always ended up cheating on all my 4 or 5 girlfriends at the time (and always the same ones), with usually one or two of them out of the loop about it. it was painful and hurtful to everyone involved...
well, eventually I just had to accept it; I'm not monogamous, I'm Poly. and I knew that I had to be honest with myself about it, and with anyone else I wanted to have a relationship with. people who I would pursue a romance with would have to accept that I'm not exclusive, accept that I have Slaves and Pets (some of whom I have romantic and/or sexual relationships with), and that I will have casual AND serious relationships outside of my relationship with them.
for a long time I found that this didn't realy work out, simply because people would claim they were also Poly, and then get jealous and want me for themselves, and be angry and hurt and feel like they weren't special to me... and to be honest, the whole point was that they WEREN'T supposed to be "above the rest". if anything, my Pets are highest on the totem pole, if a heiarchy must be established...
but eventually, I did find someone who truely and completely accepted me as Poly; someone else who was Poly as well. she not only allowed me to be romantically and sexually free, she encouraged it. it was so healthy, such a relationship... sometimes she'd even find me a potential match.
my relationship with her didn't realy last forever, but it was almost 3 years. ^_^ so I can say I am happy for that.
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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:30 am
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Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 3:26 am
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Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 10:27 pm
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Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2014 5:06 am
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Saew We have lots of old topics, by all means, respond to the ones that catch your interest, and add your own content as well! I'm notoriously quiet, but love to see folks enjoying themselves here!
Alright here goes... biggrin
I was once picked up by two guys (lucky me) and with one of them it was love at first sight.
This was a pretty convenient start for our relationship, since we didn't have to bring up the threesome subject that we agreed upon in the first place.
Those two guys weren't very close friends, so I had no trouble not replying to messages his friend sent me.
The love at first sight guy I kept dating and eventually became my boyfriend. heart
He had a very interesting best friend though! Let's refer to him as Bart. Cuz that's his name XD
Luckily we all agreed in bed too, and soon the three of us became inseperatable. He went along with us on holidays and usually stayed all weekends with us.
Bart's friends were very puzzled why someone would have a good time going on holiday with a couple, but we knew better then that wink
Both men were pleasers to the max. And allthough bi-curious Bart really wanted to experience being or doing something with a guy once, my straight as hell bf insisted they would both focus on me instead. I felt sorry for Bart but hey, I couldn't really complain right? 4laugh
That polyrelationship was unfortunately not to last. After a few years he and his gf (who thought we were swingers, and she was kinda okay with that.. she even joined in occasionally!) decided it was time for kids and time to stop fooling around.
I am still happy I was part of it. I got other happy polystories I've been involved with, but this was by far the happiest! |
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Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2014 11:03 pm
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Cuddlepoo Saew We have lots of old topics, by all means, respond to the ones that catch your interest, and add your own content as well! I'm notoriously quiet, but love to see folks enjoying themselves here! Alright here goes... biggrin I was once picked up by two guys (lucky me) and with one of them it was love at first sight. This was a pretty convenient start for our relationship, since we didn't have to bring up the threesome subject that we agreed upon in the first place. Those two guys weren't very close friends, so I had no trouble not replying to messages his friend sent me. The love at first sight guy I kept dating and eventually became my boyfriend. heart He had a very interesting best friend though! Let's refer to him as Bart. Cuz that's his name XD Luckily we all agreed in bed too, and soon the three of us became inseperatable. He went along with us on holidays and usually stayed all weekends with us. Bart's friends were very puzzled why someone would have a good time going on holiday with a couple, but we knew better then that wink Both men were pleasers to the max. And allthough bi-curious Bart really wanted to experience being or doing something with a guy once, my straight as hell bf insisted they would both focus on me instead. I felt sorry for Bart but hey, I couldn't really complain right? 4laugh That polyrelationship was unfortunately not to last. After a few years he and his gf (who thought we were swingers, and she was kinda okay with that.. she even joined in occasionally!) decided it was time for kids and time to stop fooling around. I am still happy I was part of it. I got other happy polystories I've been involved with, but this was by far the happiest!
that does sound like it was a pretty good gig. alot smoother than the 2-or-more men dating the same woman relationship I was in on and off for 3 years. |
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 12:53 am
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I'll probably never check this again as I seem to only log in to Gaia once or twice a year now, but I'd like to share my story with you all smile
I met T when I was 18, and over the course of the first year I realized that I loved him, but I was already in a committed relationship with my highschool sweetheart. One night amidst seriously confusing emotions, I google searched loving more than one person at a time. And hence, I found out I may be poly. I read anything and everything I could find on the topic until well past sunrise.
Unfortunately C, the highschool sweetheart, wasn't open to this newfangled idea, and it ended up causing a lot of drama and tension. I finally broke up with him about a year after my discovery.
Enter A, who I'd had previously encountered but the distance apart we had lived in highschool stopped it from progressing. I should probably mention that T lives in the USA, whereas I'm Canadian. And not even a hop across the border, it's west coast and east coast. We still have yet to actually meet face to face. A was at least in Canada. After a couple visits, I decided to move to his hometown to find better work. This is highly regarded as a bad decision, since even though he knew about T before we ever even visited each other, he ended up threatening both of our lives on multiple occasions. I ran.
I still dated a bit after, had lovers, but nothing series until R. I told him flat out from the beginning, I am in an emotional relationship with another guy who lives far away, but we still see other people. He was okay with it. Locally we saw each other exclusively for two years. We had a baby girl, got engaged. Then one night he comes to me and confesses that he kissed another girl, Ch. Hey, Ch is great, I already adore her anyway. Invite her over to play! And we do. She has her own occasional 'friends'. Unfortunately after baby, my libido is nearly nonexistent. I tell them, I really am okay with you two having sex without me present. They wouldn't do it without my prior consent.
Ch also happens to be our babysitter for the four hours a day both hubby and I are at work. We end up deciding things as a group now. She has her own apartment, we have our house. Our daughter (now 2.5) loves her. R gets the sex he needs, and it relieves a lot of pressure on both of us, as we had a lot more arguments when he was frustrated and I was unwilling. Ch brings so much to our lives, it is absolutely beautiful.
And yes, I am still talking to T smile He plans to come visit this Halloween!
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 2:34 am
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Angel Bella Lovely I'll probably never check this again as I seem to only log in to Gaia once or twice a year now, but I'd like to share my story with you all smile I met T when I was 18, and over the course of the first year I realized that I loved him, but I was already in a committed relationship with my highschool sweetheart. One night amidst seriously confusing emotions, I google searched loving more than one person at a time. And hence, I found out I may be poly. I read anything and everything I could find on the topic until well past sunrise. Unfortunately C, the highschool sweetheart, wasn't open to this newfangled idea, and it ended up causing a lot of drama and tension. I finally broke up with him about a year after my discovery. Enter A, who I'd had previously encountered but the distance apart we had lived in highschool stopped it from progressing. I should probably mention that T lives in the USA, whereas I'm Canadian. And not even a hop across the border, it's west coast and east coast. We still have yet to actually meet face to face. A was at least in Canada. After a couple visits, I decided to move to his hometown to find better work. This is highly regarded as a bad decision, since even though he knew about T before we ever even visited each other, he ended up threatening both of our lives on multiple occasions. I ran. I still dated a bit after, had lovers, but nothing series until R. I told him flat out from the beginning, I am in an emotional relationship with another guy who lives far away, but we still see other people. He was okay with it. Locally we saw each other exclusively for two years. We had a baby girl, got engaged. Then one night he comes to me and confesses that he kissed another girl, Ch. Hey, Ch is great, I already adore her anyway. Invite her over to play! And we do. She has her own occasional 'friends'. Unfortunately after baby, my libido is nearly nonexistent. I tell them, I really am okay with you two having sex without me present. They wouldn't do it without my prior consent. Ch also happens to be our babysitter for the four hours a day both hubby and I are at work. We end up deciding things as a group now. She has her own apartment, we have our house. Our daughter (now 2.5) loves her. R gets the sex he needs, and it relieves a lot of pressure on both of us, as we had a lot more arguments when he was frustrated and I was unwilling. Ch brings so much to our lives, it is absolutely beautiful. And yes, I am still talking to T smile He plans to come visit this Halloween!
Too bad you don't visit more often, because this is the most beautiful story ever! emotion_bigheart
It has everything: romance, drama, pain, growth, a happy end... sounds like a bestseller to me wink
Congratulations on your daughter and having such a blessed poly relationship. |
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2014 9:42 pm
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When I started doing the whole poly thing it was just something that I stumbled into, and it always felt totally natural. Later I gained some vocabulary and it was easier to describe my life to others, but it all happened pretty quickly and just made perfect sense to me and everyone I was with.
I travel a lot, for work, for adventure and experience. I spend 5 months out of the year living and working in the bush on the coast and then the northern interior of British Columbia.
I'm very queer. I'm attracted almost exclusively to women. This means that my life is very disjointed, because where I am most of the time, there aren't a whole helluva lot of other queer peeps. It's kind of the story of other rural queers, but a little different. I've been in love, and I've been able to maintain this love of others, because I'm poly and they're poly.
Once upon a time I was in the mountains of southern BC, and I was helping out some friends on a small homestead near the shore of a lake. It was early spring and I stayed there for a few weeks. One day I ventured into town using my handy-dandy thumb and I stumbled into a strange festival involving burly men cutting things with chainsaws and slicing things with axes. I was not particularly amused but a woman was standing next to me, and she was looking at me. And I was looking at her. And I don't know how it happened but we left together and we started talking.
She had a soft voice, and a beautiful smile. She was and is radiant. At the end of the day we exchanged numbers, and parted ways even though both of us just wanted to be around each other. She later told me on her way home that she just wanted to hold my hand.
So that's how we met. She's from the states and I'm from Canada. We can love each other and be a thing over long periods of time and over a long distance because of the promise that even though we're one of the most important thing that's ever happened to each other, we have a life and more than one love that'll keep us happy and sane until the times when we do see each other. I'll go ahead and say that it's one of the most inconvenient arrangements there is. It's painful at times and I have no idea what'll happen to us in the future, but right now I know that it actually works and the only reason it works is because we're both totally open, and both genuinely happy for each other with other partners.
We met a few years ago and it's still going. I've loved others since her, but she's sort of a life partner in that I'm positive she'll always have a place in my life.
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